Chapter 20: The Art Of Getting By

Sleep the clock around- Mates of States

On her wall indeed. Her bed on the upper deck facing a whole wall of plastic and pills. Some were just a flatten box being stuck onto the wall by the plan black tape strap across. Those were surrounded by little ziplock bag with one pill in each. ‘Isn’t this a pleasant sight.’ I could hear Yul plop down onto Ms Disturbing's bed. I nodded my head with uncertainty. I wasn’t sure if it is a pleasant sight but without a doubt this wall is a sight. ‘Yoong, do you have any pills to help her?’ When she said Yoong would have a pill did she meant one of the decoration on her wall?

‘Her hand was shaking and shaking. I think it might be a minor seizure. Although the television usually make those poor folks lying on the floor and foaming. However Jessica wasn’t doing that so it may not be seizure. I mean...’ My brain growing accustom to this place, turned her ramblings to nothing more than a monotone flat b note. 

The wall was captivating. It just makes my eyes glued onto it. How many are there here? Easily a thousand. My eyes roams the whole surface in amazement. ‘1720 pills Awesome ie Unnie.’ The pat on my head caused me to jump a little.  She picks up my right hand. Shocked, I didn’t resist. She flips my hand like a vertical pancake. ‘She seems to be all fine Unnie.’ She presented my hand back as if it was a present. Uneasily, I accepted my own arm back. 

‘Really?’ My hand was now in the hands of Yuri. I’m in her hand...

‘Unnie, let go of Jessica Unnie?’ Flustered, she dropped my arm. ‘It was just so warm. And I like her.’ That knocked some wind out of me. I stumbled a little. Leaning against the wall of the pills. ‘You are only decreasing your chances if you are so clingy.’ Yuri blink twice at her statement as if the logic in that particular sentence did not flowed. 'Nobody likes clingy. That is why stalkers go to jai.' Yul's jaw drop in disbelief at the example used. She wasn’t talking. Does that mean that the sentence was so shocking till it left her mind in a state of blank?

My eyes confused by Yuri’s confusion. ‘Hey ie unnie want one just for the kick of fun?’ My gaze shifted to Ms disturbing. Then ever so slowly I shake my head. ‘Oh bummer.’ She snaps her fingers and slump back down onto her bed. 

Stretching her hands upwards, I caught the multiple small scars on her hands. I remained calmed despite the burning questions forming in my head. ‘Yul Unnie. It is going to be 5 soon. Aren’t you going back? I wouldn’t want Sooyoung Unnie chasing after me.’ 

At that, Yuri frantically faced the hanging clock and zoomed a whole string of words I couldn’t understand before exiting. Watching her move about before the door closes behind her was like viewing a panic attack in fast forward motion. 

‘ie Unnie.’ My attention was back on the disturbed. ‘Were you running away from one to accidentally crash into another?’ She asked in a ‘by the way’ manner. However there was nothing by the way about that question. 

Her eyes didn’t burn with curiosity neither did it glow with the intend of finding out my answer. If there was no spark to find out the answer why ask? With that, I’m the one with the eyes that are seeking. ‘Oh right. I forgot.’ She smack her thigh as she seems to recall something. ‘You are the one who refuses to speak.’ She smiles at me and giggles as if she was acting silly. I don’t get her.

She heaves a sigh. My eyes are somehow glued onto her. The face that has beauty yet at the same time it conceals some sort of pain that she has imposed. During the duration of my observation of her features, she didn’t bother about me. In fact, her face was calm and indifferent about my presence. 

I sat on the floor. Then proceeded to lie on it. Staring up at her plain ceiling, knowing that there is two of us in here. A sense of calm sweeps over me. The disturbed is smoothing... ... maybe I do belong here. Maybe it was in His plan’s for me to be with my own kind at your expense. 

Following on that train, this meant that I had no reason to be mad at Taeyeon. She is nothing more than a scapegoat for my crime. How disturbed am I, the murder, is punishing the innocent. 

Standing back up, I picked a random ziplock bag from her glorious wall. Holding it, I asked for her permission. All she did was to blankly look at me and smile. She gave me no signals of approval. All she did was smile and say that with every action comes consequences. 

‘Unnie!’ Startled, I dropped my possible hopes of obtaining a high. Next came the heavy thumping of her enraged footsteps up the stairs. My hand pinched my nose bridge in disappointment. Ms disturbing only laughed and pat my shoulder as she walks past me. ‘As usual perfect timing puppy.’ Was that a compliment? A statement? Or a subtle remark? Whichever it was, I didn’t want to face them. It serve no purpose in acknowledging the fact that i wanted to pop a pill.

'Unnie! I told you. That wall of yours can be detrimental. It does no good for you or those around. Additionally, weren’t you going to stop her from acting in impulse?’ Heaving out a sigh, I turn around to see Seohyun’s eyes nearly bulging out at the carefree smile of Ms disturbing. I could have sworn her nostrail had became twice it size.

‘I take it that with age,one knows the thrills of a reckless behaviour.’ She looks at me with that same beaming smile. ‘Anyway, life is about choosing for oneself not for others. If I recall correctly, it was you who taught me that, puppy.’ Once again, Seohyun’s face became red. Ms disturbing sure has a way of making Seohyun flustered. 

‘Regardless, none was taken. So calm down. Relax.’ Ms Disturbing even wriggled her body to symbolise the act of relaxation.  ‘Unnie!’ Seohyun tugs at her sleeves. Ms disturbing looks at her, ‘Puppy, you know that I’m approaching my 1800 wisely. I don’t want to be dependent on yucky pills. Despite the many that I have tried, I am a lady with taste.’ Her tone was confusing. It was like that sentence was intended to spike Seohyun. At the same time, it seems that it was a fact being proclaimed. 

Seohyun stares at her. ‘Unnie. Your body is already unable to handle one more substance. Can we not push the boundaries?’ Her eyes wandered to the wall of plentiful tablets of sin. ‘Puppy.’ A look of condescend. ‘Life , eat drugs.’ With arms doing a ta-dah sign, she proclaims her... ... life’s motto? 

I looked at Ms disturbing in a new light. Her spotlight is brighter now. ‘In addition.’ Her forefinger lazily pointed in my direction. ‘Eating drugs is what some of our kind schoolmates depend on. After all we are all in the same place. How detrimental can us taking one be?’ I like her logic. Seohyun could only scratch her head and let out air of exapperations.

‘The theory behind simple mathematic being applied into life is baffling the great mind of my puppy. I’m amazed.’ With that, she carefully strolled down the steps by Seohyun. Seohyun bit her lower lip then sighed. ‘What was that?’ Seohyun mumbles. It was like a question asked for any to answer. Ms Disturbing kept on going towards the door while Seohyun frustrations begin to spill over. ‘Unnie!’ Seohyun suddenly yelled out before she could exit. Ms Disturbing stopped in her track, chuckled a little, and said, ‘The art of getting by’. Her right hand raised up high in the air and waved. 

She was out the door. On the other hand, I gained what I needed to know. We are all here. We are all here with our unappreciated art of getting by. I pat Seohyun’s back apologetically and left. We are the minority that stood on the tiny grey strap between sanity and insanity.