Yes, you read it right.

Recap... (Chapter 32)

Tiffany had drove back home after fighting another crowd of people questioning her. Mixture of fans and press were spreaded all throughout the vicinity of her home. The security assured her that no one would get in. As she rode the elevator, she thought of how sick and tired she was of having to be reassured over and over again of things that would not hurt her.

But she was simply hurting, and no one could blame her.

Not even herself.

She was just a lost girl in a sea of hope, beaten to a pulp yet she was pulled up by her bullies to stand for more beatings. She was just in so much pain. She needed a way out but only she could find it.

As she reached her home, she sat on the couch and began to think. Here she goes again, thinking of life without Jaejoong. She was beginning to think she was just convincing herself that she could live without him when she herself knew that she couldn’t. Tiffany felt so dumb, she felt like a complete and utter idiot who continued to loop false hope in her mind. She was like a broken player, repeating the same thing over and over and going through a cycle of short lived happiness to an immediate fall to pain that crashes her down completely.

She was hopeless in other words.

She decided to cry the rest of the night, her mind was filled with so much details and words that she could no longer think straight. She needed to relax and she needed something to distract her. She needed to focus on work.

The following day she woke up feeling like crap. She didn’t want to get out of bed and it took her 10 minutes to force her body up. She looked at her phone and there were no messages. Just great, at that moment she had felt lonely waking up to no messages or missed calls simply made her feel worse. Taking an hour shower didn’t help, even dressing up in new designer clothes weren’t going to get her to smile or even feel a bit better.

She walked towards the door of her house. She stood still and her face was cringing at the thought of leaving her house. Despite looking good and as if she had no problems, inside she was a complete mess. The total opposite of how she looked and she felt that irritating feeling inside of her just pulling her to stay. Pulling her to stay and without words telling her not to leave.

Shaking her body she tried to rid of the feeling and force her feet to move. They felt heavy but she knew she had to do this. She can’t continue to sulk at home and always feel this way. She needed to do more and sitting at home crying herself to sleep, to shower and to eat wasn’t really the best.

The entire ride was not a comfortable thing either. Media and fans were still outside her building, she had guards her to her car because she felt like someone was going to jump her. On her way there she wanted to call the girls and tell them she was going to come but she opted not to, not wanting to disturb them because she was sure that they had all begun practices by now.

Tiffany’s grip on the wheel tightened as she kept thinking about work. She was mentally shoving her thoughts of Jaejoong, Jaekyung, Eun Jae and her family by thinking of work. She tried to think of ideas she could pitch for concerts, concepts and songs. She just kept her mind busy with these things the entire drive to work.

As she got there, she felt relieved to know that there was a different entrance for employees who had cars. She was able to shy away from the media and head directly to the practice rooms. Every employee had their eyes on her, she could feel them whispering as soon as they spotted her but she tried to brush it off. She didn’t have time for this, it wasn’t helping but she forced herself to think of other things.

Making her way towards the practice room she came to a stop as what she saw had made her feel pale.

From a distance, stood her family. Her father, her brother and her sister standing there. They had just came from a room, Taeyeon was there and so was her manager. She felt confused and she couldn’t deny that she had also felt a hint of happiness. After all, they were still her family. “I think you should talk to them Tiffany.” Taeyeon said with a soft smile. A smile that had given Tiffany a whole new feeling of hope. She knew something was to come of this, but what exactly?

Tiffany, her siblings and her dad made their way towards an empty practice room. Taeyeon and her manager headed back to the others. Silence was heard from the entire room with her family seated across from her. Tiffany didn’t know how to start, she had flashbacks of what happened when she visited them in the US and she didn’t want a repeat of the incidents most especially the talk she had with her dad.

“You are my daughter, and I could never forgive myself for what has happened.” her father began and everyone had their focus on him. Not even Tiffany’s siblings had expected him to talk. Tiffany’s dad was always the quiet type, but he had always spoke his mind. And now was the time he wanted Tiffany to listen to how he felt.

“When your mother passed away I told myself I was going to do everything I can to be with you all. But because of what happened it simply strained us. Mainly, pulling your away from us. I always told myself that it was your mother who did it, not because she wanted us to feel pain but because she knew that there was something out there that was better for you, that was going to make you feel loved and bring you joy. Among all of us, we knew that you were the one who was most affected by what had happen to your mother. We were all too strong, but you needed strength because you didn’t have it.” Tiffany could feel tears forming in her eyes, she began to think of her mother and how she always cooked for Tiffany when she had felt sad or if she had hurt herself.

“Our family fell apart, not because of what happened. But because we made it happen. I was too strong, thinking that I can hold my own and because of my thinking it cost me my family. I should’ve done what I could to keep us together. I should’ve supported you and told you that even if your mother was gone I am here.”

Tiffany didn’t know what she was feeling.

Could it be hope? Happiness? Love?

Or maybe it was the peace that she had longed for from the beginning.

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Chapter 33: I Love You

Tiffany and her family simply sat in her living room. The ambience was changing, it was no longer awkward. After a bit of talking she wanted to invite them over her place and have a more intimate setting. Tiffany felt relaxed, something she hasn’t truly felt in years. She was sitting there, with her family members. It was a miracle in her perspective.

“I don’t know what else to say, except that I’m thankful, and that I’m glad I made that trip after all.” Tiffany smiled at her family. Her mother wasn’t there but having her father and siblings was enough, in spirit she could feel her mother looking down on them, a smile on her face. “We’ll be honest, before we came we did a bit of stalking on you and a lot of negative press seems to be surrounding you and this Kim Jaejoong.” Tiffany’s sister said and all she could do was smile.

She may have had this conversation of reunion prepared, but when it came to explaining her lifestyle and Jaejoong, she couldn’t muster up what to actually explain. “Its just rumors. A lot has happened these past few days and honestly its what also led me to tracking you guys back down. Right now isn’t the time to talk about it, I want to just bond with you all, get to know my family and have fun.” Tiffany said as she smiled. Her family smiled back, the feelings were mutual. Both parties just wanted to have fun and be a family again.

It was a long time waiting. Tiffany and her family have had this image in the back of their heads, reuniting and becoming a family. And Tiffany couldn’t be more thankful for what has happened. Despite the things surrounding her, she was glad to have become a member of her family once again. Everything else was just background music, what she had with her family was on full focus.

-

Jaejoong could feel his eyes just falling. It wasn’t because he hadn’t been sleeping, he was sleeping after all it was just difficult. So much rushed through his mind, so much was there. He was thinking of Jaekyung, the attention she needed, the conversation that needed to be clarified with Tiffany and of course Eun Jae.

In his mind he told himself, Who are you kidding, you love her more than Tiffany, but he could never get himself to be honest. It wasn’t because he was out to hurt her, no, he cared for her. But the feelings weren’t the same as what he has for Eun Jae. But he knew that being realistic was the best thing, and in his mind he only wanted to make sure that Jaekyung had someone to call mommy.

Jaejoong wasn’t dumb, simply blind. But things were becoming a bit clear. He was having a more full understanding of everything, and that included seeing the real picture. He could see what state Eun Jae was in. Doctors had basically told him that this was the end of the line for her. And to him, he knew that he could never handle this alone.

Not even with a family as big as what he had, not even both sides of his family could help. He knew that Tiffany would be there for him but at the same time he knew that he wasn’t being honest with himself or the people around him. He knew that he was literally lying to Tiffany about loving her more than Eun Jae but in his mind he had this idea that Tiffany would be the perfect mother, Jaekyung already loves her and he figured in time he would love her more than just care for her.

But could he really live with himself knowing he stole a life Tiffany could continue to discover by pinning her down in a planned marriage that she doesn’t know about and automatically making her a mother to a child he has with someone else?

At this moment, Jaejoong’s eyes were just inches from falling shut but it was a certain physical feeling that caused him to jolt them open. His hands felt something, something that would shock him. His eyes were wide open, and slowly he looked up. What he was seeing could have given him a heart attack if he was 40 years older.

A wave of emotions came crashing unexpectedly, and he felt stiff. He was afraid to move, as if it was a butterfly that would fly away if even the slightest movement was made.

Right before his eyes, Eun Jae’s own eyes were open. They were actually open.

The first thing that ran through Jaejoong’s mind was whether or not it was a dream, that maybe he had actually fallen asleep and that everything else was simply a dream. The second was if she was really awake or maybe her eyes simply opened but she wasn’t really awake at all. Whatever it was, Jaejoong just felt his heart beat speed up, rapidly beating as if it was about to jump out.

Eun Jae’s eyes searched the room, beginning from the ceiling and down until it met Jaejoong’s surprised eyes. She saw how he looked. Pale, skinny and basically unhealthy. He didn’t look like the same Jaejoong that others have boasted about, that fans adored and looked up to and whom women wished would whisk them away in marriage.

In only weeks Jaejoong began to lose his muscles because he had lost his appetite, and his eyes were simply worn out. Eun Jae stared at him, her feelings were numb. She didn’t know how to feel, let alone what to even say. Even with the tubes in her she was not reacting, her entire body felt numb and all she could move was her hand.

She looked away from Jaejoong and towards the lights in her hospital room. She simply looked there and nowhere else. Jaejoong immediately stood up, but his hand was still with her, as if it was superglued. But instead he opted to call for a nurse, but like superglue, his hands could part from hers and it wasn’t because Jaejoong didn’t want to but it was because Eun Jae was literally holding on tight.

It made Jaejoong stop on his tracks, and stand there. Her eyes were not on him but were looking away, but Jaejoong could feel her grip tighten.

Eun Jae couldn’t say anything, but at that moment she simply wanted to spend that time with Jaejoong, to spend that time with him with no one interrupting either of them. As if they were in a little bubble of their own that no one else was allowed to enter. Silence was erupting from the room and it was the most peaceful and serene moment ever. And Jaejoong knew it even without her saying it.

“Okay, no one needs to come.” Jaejoong said as he approached her, leaning down and kissing the top of her forehead.

-

Jaekyung felt so excited. Yoochun decided to be the one to take her to the hospital today. At first Jaekyung wanted to refuse, she didn’t want to come because she felt sad. Because she knew what her mother’s state was, she knew that she was sick and seeing her in the hospital bed made Jaekyung feel sad, it toyed with her emotions.

So to make things a bit more happy and boastful, Yoochun brought her to his gelato shop, and after told her that Eun Jae would be happy if Jaekyung had brought a gift for her so they went into a gift shop and bought her a beautiful giant teddy bear, something that Jaekyung herself could carry but was completely bigger than her.

“I know she’ll love this. She always loved buying me teddy bears before. Whenever her bosses would give her money I would get a new teddy bear.” Jaekyung said and Yoochun smiled at the thought. He and Jaekyung were finally at the hallway that led to Eun Jae’s room but from a distance he saw a crowd of nurses outside of her bedroom door.

Three of them were holding onto Jaejoong, trying to get him to not enter the room. Yoochun felt confused as to why but he heard yelling. “Mama!” Jaekyung yelled as she dropped the teddy and Yoochun’s hand, rushing towards the room. Yoochun picked it up and ran after her, calling her name. Jaekyung was able to slide down from under the nurses who stood by the door but one of them stopped Yoochun.

“I’m sorry sir but the patient isn’t feeling well right now.” she said and Yoochun felt confused. “What…” he whispered underneath his breath. Jaekyung, who was inside was surprised to see her mother, two nurses holding her arms and a doctor standing and trying to calm her down. Prior to their visit, Eun Jae held onto Jaejoong’s hand and gripped tighter.

When Jaejoong had kissed the top of her forehead she freaked out. The next thing Jaejoong knew was that she tried to pull the tube out of and made a yelling cry for help. Jaejoong simply moved away confused. He was scared and everything happened so fast.

Eun Jae cried in front of him and as he tried to approach her she pushed him away with her screams. That moment was horror for Jaejoong. When the nurse had arrived she tried to get Eun Jae to calm down, and called for help in removing the tube. Jaejoong was asked to step out and when he came back in he tried to approach her once again.

But instead of accepting him, she felt more scared and guarded. She kept yelling and asking for who he was and called the nurses for help. It wasn’t the most beautiful scenario.

“Who are you go away!”

“Eun Jae, what are you talking about”

“Nurse! Help!”

“It’s me! Jaejoong!”

“I don’t know who you are…”

Jaekyung stood there, her eyes tearing up because she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. It was her mother and she was awake. Eun Jae’s eyes opened wide and she began to cry. “Jaekyung!” she called out and Jaekyung simply ran to her. With all the strength her little arms could give she pushed herself up the bed and hugged her mother. Eun Jae couldn’t stop herself from crying, it was hard not to.

It felt like an eternity. She didn’t want to part with her daughter at all. It was a truly happy moment, but outside was a confused Jaejoong who was being held by three nurses, with him was a confused Yoochun as well. But inside, Jaejoong had a feeling of fear, it was unexplainable as to why he felt it but he did anyway.

When things began to settle, Jaejoong was still not permitted to enter and neither was Yoochun. Eun Jae’s doctor thought that it wouldn’t be good stressing her out so she had asked Jaejoong and Yoochun to remain outside as they checked on her. Yoochun and Jaejoong waited patiently outside but Jaejoong couldn’t stop bouncing his leg, feeling extremely agitated.

“Relax, what’s good is she’s awake.” Yoochun tried to calm him down but nothing was going to work at that moment. So many things were running through Jaejoong’s mind, a billion questions that he wanted answers to and he couldn’t find it in himself to calm down and try to break out answers. Jaejoong has never felt more lost in his life than he did now.

I thought she wouldn’t be here… I thought…

Jaejoong didn’t know what to think. His mind was a complete mess at that moment, not sure how exactly he was going to piece everything, it was like a kid flipped over a puzzle with a thousand pieces, becoming a mess that will take a long time to rebuild. Before this, in his mind he was beginning to prepare himself, slowly telling himself that it was over. As much as it felt like torture, he knew he needed that. Because no one could prepare him for the results, and that mindset was true.

What had transpired just moments ago was not something he had expected nor was he prepared for. Fifty percent of his mind had the functional idea that she was dead. That she was long gone and that he was never going to live the same way he did again but that it was okay, that it was maybe time for her to rest and for him to continue on with taking care and nurturing his child Jaekyung. But it was like God or whoever was up there had a different plan.

Was it really meant for them to be together or was everything just a complete and utter mess.

In the middle of his thoughts Eun Jae’s doctor approached them and Jaejoong was quick to stand as if his was lit on fire. “Mr. Kim, I need to talk to you in private.” the doctor said and Jaejoong followed. Yoochun sighed and headed towards the room. In there he saw Jaekyung and Eun Jae talking. Eun Jae was brushing her hair, she looked as if she wasn’t feeling sick at all. Her movements were a bit cautious and limited because of the accident but it didn’t stop her from smiling at her daughter. He wanted to approach but he knew that it was the perfect time to simply leave the two alone.

Meanwhile Jaejoong was about to receive answers to questions that were scattered all over his head. He just wanted a yes or no as to whether or not she was going to get better or not. “As you can tell, something unexpected has happened. I know you’ve been more than stressed ever since she was delivered to the hospital so I would like to be frank with you and try to cut to the chase.” the doctor began and cleared his throat, Jaejoong’s ears simply anticipated.

“What she may have is retrograde amnesia. It’s the type of amnesia wherein a person loses memory or life events before the injury. Possibly forgetting a traumatic experience. She won’t be able to remember how she got here, what happened or even more events before that. I am aware that you two had recently been in contact so I am guessing that she may have blocked you out of her memory, I can’t necessarily give full information unless we do more tests. I just wanted to let you know why she couldn’t remember you. As painful as that is, the only cure for it is to recover slowly, the brain recovers slowly or it might worsen and I must tell you that because of the nature of her injury it pushes further into it becoming worse.”

Not everything necessarily ran through Jaejoong’s mind, he understood what it was but the information he seeked for was whether she would get better and maintain to heal. “Will she get better… That’s all I want to know…” Jaejoong said softly and the doctor took a deep breath. “Mr. Kim considering that no one had expected this and I have said I expected her not to make it we can never tell. All we can do now is run tests to assure her health to further improve. Although her waking up is a good sign and could lead to her getting better. Right now I think you should go home and rest. She’s safe here, and you yourself need to make sure you don’t end up here as well.”

With that being said, Jaejoong nodded his head and headed back to the room. He saw Yoochun texting outside the room. “What did the doctor say?” Yoochun asked. “She has retrograde amnesia. She might not remember how she got here or even… Who I am…” Jaejoong said, the hurt emitting. He played with his fingers, his eyes not even meeting with Yoochun. He felt shame and he couldn’t explain why, not even he wanted to be himself at that moment.

“What’s important is she’s awake, right now I think I should take you home. I can call Seyoung for you or your mother Seo Jin so they can keep her and Jaekyung company. But you, you need to rest.” Yoochun said and Jaejoong nodded his head, not hesitating and this had surprised Yoochun. He was not expecting for it to turn out that way. He didn’t even bother to fight, he felt too tired to even fight back so instead he just agreed with it and headed out with Yoochun.

-

“Mama… Can you please tell me a story?” Jaekyung asked her mother as she nuzzled next to her. As much as it was painful she didn’t want her daughter to sit elsewhere.She just wanted her next to her, it felt like years were taken away from her and she just wanted to spend more time with her daughter.

Clearing , she let out a small breath and began.

Once upon a time in a magical forest called Seoul there lived a handsome prince! He was tall, kind and brave. He was courteous and nice to everyone he meets.

One day, him and his royal servants, along with his personal jester, whom had a gigantic funny hat with bells on the end, went through the forest to find a gorgeous wonderful princess. He had considered these people to be his friends which is why he trusted them to come along with him on his adventure.

The prince and his friends had swords that were strong enough to protect them from evil monsters, and horses that could run fast and bring them to their destinations safely.

The prince and his friends went deep into the woods of Seoul. Along the journey they met people who lived around the forest that helped them, allowed for them to sleep and also fed them before sending them off to their trips. These people knew who the prince was and because they treated him like any other person, the prince personally told them that he would like to meet them again and had hoped that they would come to his palace.

The handsome prince and his friends then moved towards the forest, and he was off searching for the most beautiful princess that he could marry! And finally he had found her! But there was an evil dragon, so the prince and his friends had to fight off the evil dragon. Once he had saved her, he wanted to approach the princess.

But!

All of a sudden someone was sparkling behind the princess. The prince passed the princess. He walked over the glowing beauty and found another beautiful princess who was a friend of the first princess! She was pretty, with beautiful hair and pretty brown eyes just like the Prince. The beautiful princess then walked over to Prince.

The prince and the princess instantly fell in love, and he decided to marry her. He took the beautiful princess back to his palace along with his friends and the first princess, because he didn’t want to be rude and ignore her. There, he was able to get to know the princess, speak to her and understand her feelings. To know how she grew up, who are the people that love her and why she was all alone in that forest with another princess.

He understood her and how hard and sad her life was. Now, the prince didn’t know that this princess actually had a daughter. The prince felt disappointed, but he did fall in love with her even more after he got to know her, so to him, the daughter was also someone as special as the princess.

He decided to meet her and get her to like him, and the daughter did. She was happy to see her mommy happy, and with that he decided to marry her. They had a wonderful wedding where everyone was invited. Everyone was happy for him and the princess, most especially the daughter.

After that,

They lived happily ever after…

The End…

Once the story had ended, Jaekyung smiled and immediately sat up. Eun Jae was a bit surprised at the way her daughter had reacted but she figured it was out of happiness. “Appa also told me a story like that!” Jaekyung said and Eun Jae had a confused look on her face. “Well… There were a bit of some changes…” Jaekyung said as she tried to recall the colorful story telling gift that Jaejoong had.

“Appa…?” Eun Jae asked, Jaekyung was not aware of her mother’s condition, she didn’t know what her was going through. In her mind her mother was just back to normal, like she had woken up from a long nap. “Yup! Appa and uncle Yoochun went home. Appa was here every single day mama, he only left yesterday. He was really worried about you, he even cried. I think he’ll come back tomorrow.” Jaekyung said and before Eun Jae could say anything Seyoung entered the room.

“Hi…” Seyoung said softly. Before arriving Yoochun had prepped her with the condition that Eun Jae had. Behind her followed Seo Jin. “Hi!” Jaekyung greeted them cheerfully with Eun Jae laying in bed confused. “It’s a miracle…” Seo Jin whispered to no one. “Jaekyung, we brought some food. Why don’t you come here and eat first.” Seyoung said and Jaekyung immediately got off the bed and ran towards them. Eun Jae wanted to grab her daughter back, she didn’t know these two people they were strangers.

While Seo Jin and Jaekyung were busy, Seyoung approached her and wasn’t sure where to begin. “I know you don’t remember me or my brother.” Seyoung said and Eun Jae was willing to get some answers. “Your brother… Jaekyung’s appa…?” Eun Jae said and Seyoung nodded her head. “They told us you had retrograde amnesia, and from what I know is you should only forget a certain event but I didn’t know you’d also forget people. This is the first time I’ve heard of it.” Seyoung said and Eun Jae was still confused.

“Who is he? Jaekyung tells me he was here every day.” Eun Jae said and Seyoung nodded her head. “He was, and he wouldn’t leave. I don’t know what’s the best way to describe how my brother feels for you but the fact that I can’t explain it must actually mean a lot already.” Seyoung said and Eun Jae simply nodded her head. “You should rest. I think my brother will explain everything to you soon.” Seyoung said and Eun Jae nodded her head.

Eun Jae wasn’t sure if she wanted to know Jaejoong. As soon as she woke up, and she saw Jaejoong, she felt like something was missing. Waking up felt like being a puzzle that had a piece of it missing. Like it was broken. And like a puzzle, it was eventually going to fall.

And that was what people did not realize, that every puzzle with a missing piece was like a tower, without a certain part it was eventually going to fall.

-

As soon as Yoochun dropped Jaejoong back at his house, he immediately went to bed. He wasn’t sure but as to why but as soon as his body touchdown with the bed he immediately fell into a deep slumber. It was a very good sensation, the kind of feeling you get when you when after hours of school time you get home and finally get to lay on your bed or after hours and hours of work you finally get to go home and just lay down.

That was exactly how Jaejoong felt. But then again, he had spent days with the stress level just off the charts. It was a good thing that he was even able to catch any form of sleep as soon as he got home. But even in Jaejoong’s dreams he couldn’t stop dreaming about Eun Jae. The dream was the same, the same exact dream he had at the hospital. Jaejoong didn’t understand what the dream meant, he didn’t know why he was having it. When he went through the dream back at the hospital he thought that it was Eun Jae saying her goodbye, he thought it was a final farewell for him but it wasn’t, and he couldn’t be more happy.

Happy…

Was he really though?

Even after seeing that Eun Jae had woken up, Jaejoong still couldn’t bring out the joy that wanted to pop out. He knew it was amazing news, it was a miracle. But somewhere deep in Jaejoong’s heart, it was like there was a thorn that just wouldn’t budge. It was stuck and he didn’t understand what it was, he didn’t know how to put into words what those exact feelings were at all. All he knew was that it was hindering his happiness from coming out. And it wasn’t because he knew that Eun Jae had retrograde amnesia. He could care less about that, but still, the happiness was just locked up.

After hours of sleep, as soon as Jaejoong woke up he checked his phone and saw he had a missed call from Tiffany and a text message that said I’m here open the door please and as soon as he had read it he heard the doorbell. Jaejoong grudgingly got up. Like a teenage boy who was being waken up by his mother for school at 6 in the morning. Jaejoong swung his legs to the side of the bed and got up. Dragging his feet he opened the door for Tiffany.

When the two of them saw each other, there was no spark. There was nothing. It was like seeing a stranger and there were no feelings popping out, no rainbows no glitters no sparks or fireworks. Jaejoong simply smiled and so did Tiffany. He invited her inside and things felt a tad bit awkward but both of them tried to put on a brave face.

“Sorry for just dropping by, I didn’t know you were sleeping.” Tiffany said as she placed her bag down and sat comfortably on the couch, feeling exactly at home. For the many years that she was with Jaejoong she had spent every single day in his house, completely neglecting hers. At first, they would alternate. There were days they’d spent at Tiffany’s because Jaejoong thought it was more proper going to a girl’s house rather than inviting her to his. But the security at Jaejoong’s home was much more strict as compared to where Tiffany lives, and those were the beginnings of their relationship when everything was kept a secret from the public. Even when they had came out as a couple they still spent days at Jaejoong’s. They even planned that as soon as they were wed, Tiffany would sell her home and auction off a few of her furniture and she’d move in with Jaejoong and they’d live at his house.

“Seems like you haven’t been cleaning.” Tiffany joked as the two looked around. Jaejoong laughed, he didn’t realize how messy he had left his house and since Tiffany came unannounced he didn’t have time to clean up for her. Tiffany’s eyes diverted towards a vacant room that was near Jaejoong’s. It was the room that the two of them had decided would be a nursery if they had children.

“Remember that?” Tiffany asked as she pointed at the closed room. It took a while but Jaejoong finally knew what she meant. He nodded and sighed. “It’s close to the master’s bedroom and my office, and you told me since I loved working late nights I could immediately hear the baby if the baby woke up.” Jaejong said and the two smiled.

“That’s kind of why I’m here…” Tiffany said and Jaejoong laid back on his chair, he knew it anyway, she didn’t need to tell him. Things needed to be addressed and talked about. Too much has happened and a lot has gotten in the way, it was about time that the two of them had came out with it.

“With everything that happened this has been postponed too much. I’m glad to see that you and I can now openly talk about it.” Tiffany said and Jaejoong agreed. “I still want to be with you Tiffany.” Jaejoong said, it felt hard saying that, and Jaejoong didn’t know why. “Why? That’s pretty much all I need to know. Because when you and I briefly parted I was… I wasn’t ready at all but there was a point where I was away from everything and I didn’t even think of you. A point where I was ready to let go of everything that held me back.” Tiffany said, referring to her trip to the US when she wanted to make amends with her family.

“Are you saying you were ready to leave me?” Jaejoong questioned and Tiffany shook her head. “It wasn’t like that, and I’m not saying I have forgotten. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you Jaejoong. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to marry you.” Tiffany said and Jaejoong nodded in clarification. “Marriage.” Jaejoong said and Tiffany bit her lower lip as a response.

Scratching the side of his head, Jaejoong fixed his position and sat upright, straightening his body and clearing his throat. “Okay, I want to clarify everything now.” Jaejoong said and once again cleared his throat.

“I love you Tiffany, I still do want to marry you. I know, it didn’t seem that way when I simply dropped everything to rush to Eun Jae. But we weren’t together that time, and you were literally gone. You were back in the states trying to mend things with your family, something that Eun Jae doesn’t have. Her only family is Jaekyung. I do have feelings for her, I can’t deny it any longer. I know that things between me and her are crappy but I still love her but I love you more.” Jaejoong felt strained saying that. He didn’t understand why such feelings were coming up but he chose to ignore them. Right now he just wanted to make things right.

“I know this doesn’t sound like an I Love You So Much but I need to explain things because I know you have questions dating back to the first day you met Jaekyung but I have explained the story between me and Eun Jae to you like a broken record player. I’m not saying you don’t understand, but I’m saying I have said the story but I have not explained the feelings.” Tiffany crossed her legs, she was feeling a bit anxious and tense.

“I loved her. She is the mother of my child and I can’t take anything from my past back and get rid of it. Neither can you. I just want you to know that even if I feel this way, you are still above her. I love you, I wanted to marry you. I proposed to you and not her. You were always there for me when she was gone. At first it was like a bunch of random things to fill in an empty box but like a snap it was that fast to develop even deeper feelings for you. I can never put into words how much you have opened my eyes and my heart to a love like no other and I still stand by the fact that you are someone I do love and care for. That’s not going to change. I want to apologize because I hurt you, because I was careless. Because you did all that but I simply brushed it aside as soon as Eun Jae came back. I’m not sure if it's because of the fact we have a child together or it's the way I have felt for her but whatever it was it was wrong of me. It was dumb, greedy and rude. Why you still want me even after that I will never understand but what I know is I love you and you are always going to be ahead of everyone else. You were never rude to my child, even if she isn’t yours you treated her as if she was your own. You always took care of her when I needed help and you were a mother to her. You are amazing and no one understands it more than me.”

Tiffany felt her tears just wanting to come down. Everything was so sweet, everything touched her heart but in a way that was sweet and not love. Jaejoong stood up and on both knees he held Tiffany’s hands and kissed them. “I love you, I still love you and if you feel the same I still want to marry you.” Jaejoong said as he looked in Tiffany’s eyes. Tiffany looked away but she wasn’t sure why. It was like an immediate reaction. She simply smiled.

“I love you to Jaejoong and I do still want to marry you.” Tiffany said and Jaejoong stood up, smiling. He placed his hands on Tiffany’s face and kissed her.

But still, no spark.

Both of them were feeling strange, like something was out of place and they both brushed it off, because they didn’t understand what it was and why they had felt that way.

-

Back at the hospital, Jaekyung was fast asleep on the couch. Seo Jin had told Seyoung that she was off to buy some food downstairs for them. Eun Jae was wide awake. The doctors had come back and told her that she seemed fine but she was still weak due to the injuries. She was told to have an MRI later that day just to make sure that her brain activity was fine, Eun Jae was still feeling sharp pains in her head.

“Seyoung…?” Eun Jae called out and Seyoung looked up from her book. She placed it down and approached Eun Jae. “I don’t remember how I know you or others but I guess I should thank you for being here.” Eun Jae said and Seyoung nodded. She placed her hands in the pockets of her jacket and sat on the chair Jaejoong had sat on for days. It felt really warm.

“Wow, my brother has been sitting here for so long this chair is still warm.” Seyoung joked. “Who is he?” Eun Jae asked and Seyoung looked up. She cleared , unsure how to exactly answer that. “Umm…” She began. Seyoung looked at Jaekyung who was sleeping peacefully. She didn’t know how she was going to explain everything. Was it healthy to even explain everything to a patient who just woke up from a coma?

“I shouldn’t be telling you but I guess its better for you to know now.” Seyoung said. “I’m going to tell you what I know.” she cleared and moved the chair closer. Eun Jae was readying herself to listen intently. “I don’t know how you and my brother met. All I know is that it wasn’t under the best circumstances, neither was it a meet cute situation but whatever or however you two met you made a huge impact on him. He dropped everything to be here in this hospital. The day you saw him, he has been here since the day you were brought to the hospital and he has not left except for earlier when we advised him to. Its a miracle he even considered leaving but its good that he listened. I only know how much my brother loves you. He never told me through words but I can see it. The way he held your hand, it was like he was scared that you were going to leave, that you were going away and that he was never going to see you again. The way he looked at you, it can’t be put to words but if forced I would say it was like seeing you and falling in love with you, a realization that replayed over and over again for him to look at you that way.”

Every word that Seyoung spoke touched Eun Jae’s heart. She didn’t even realize the tears that were falling. She didn’t know who he was, she could barely remember who he was but she was feeling something deep and warm for him.

Love.

She didn’t understand why but she did. She wanted to see him and tell him she loved him in ways that she didn't even know was possible considering how she didn’t even know him. Seyoung pointed towards Jaekyung who was seated on the couch. “That’s your child together, and that child is the spitting image of how much he loves you.” Seyoung said and Eun Jae stared back at Jaekyung, her daughter, her angel, her pride and joy and the one thing he could never live without. “And how much you love him too…” Seyoung added and Eun Jae’s eyes diverted back towards Seyoung.

Eun Jae pushed out her hand for Seyoung to take. Eun Jae held onto it real tight, her nose stuffy she didn’t even bother wiping her tears. Seyoung herself wanted to cry.

“I don’t remember who he is. I don’t know what to say. But I want you to please tell him I love him. He is a stranger, I don’t know who he is but please tell him I love him. Tell him I love him and I will always love him. I don’t know why I feel like I’m being held back or that I’ve been pushed back for years but please tell him I love him and that I’m sorry. Tell him I love him and Jaekyung and no one else.” Eun Jae said and Seyoung felt a sharp pain in her heart and she didn’t know why.

Eun Jae held onto Seyoung’s hand and closed her eyes. Slowly she felt like she was being lifted away.

It was there that the loud sound had echoed the entire room.

“Mama!”

The warm feeling of silence. The cool breeze of the air. That was how it felt like being there. In that place where you least expected. The place that people often wondered what would be like. A place that no book, no scientist nor genius can explain what is. No one but the departed only knew what it was like. Only they knew what peace had felt, had look, and how wonderful it was.

-

Jaekyung couldn’t stop the tears. They were just flowing and flowing. Everything was going too fast. It was first one nurse then followed by more, and soon doctors came flying in and everyone was covering her body. Jaekyung felt someone pulling her, and she didn’t put up a fight at all. She simply watched as everything just unraveled. Her ears felt the deafening sound of a flatline and her cries were in the background.

Seyoung had pulled her out and it felt like her ears popped and she immediately began to hear like normal. Seyoung was beyond lost. She didn’t understand what this was like. Like Jaekyung, she still had so much to learn. She was still too young for this. But she knew that Jaekyung needed someone strong and she had to be that person at that moment. Pulling her away and hugging her as tight as she could. She didn’t bother to say anything because she knew there were no words that can calm the tearful child at that moment.

“Seyoung?” Yoochun appeared along with Seo Jin. The two were confused to see Jaekyung and Seyoung outside in the middle of the hallway on the floor crying. As soon as Jaekyung saw Yoochun, she pushed Seyoung away and with her tiny feet slowly approached Yoochun.

“Liar!”

She yelled. Everyone simply looked, nurses, civilians, everyone.

“You told me she’d get better, you told me she’d be fine! You lied to me! You’re a liar!” Jaekyung said as her voice was masked by her tears in the final words she spoke. Looking down, she used her small hands that were in fists to wipe away the tears. She wiped them as hard as she could. She remembered how her mother taught her to be brave.

Mama, they called me an orphan, because I have no daddy…

Don’t listen to them. Look at me. Be strong. Mommy raised you by herself, mommy loves you and even with the whole world combined nothing that defeat that. Mommy is strong, you are strong. You are here without a daddy and that’s because you have a mommy. They have nothing compared to what we have. You are precious and beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Mommy loves you, nothing more nothing less. You are strong and beautiful, don’t cry. I love you my baby star.

-

“This one’s better. Don’t you think Jaekyung?” Jaejoong asked Jaekyung as he pointed right out the window. “I don’t want Sailor Moon, I want Sailor Jupiter.” Jaekyung said and Jaejoong stood up confused. “What? That tomboy? Why?” Jaejoong asked as the two of them stood outside of a toy store in Seoul. It was Jaejoong’s day off and it was a weekend and Jaekyung had no classes. He had promised he would buy her a toy as soon as he got his day off.

“She’s not a tomboy, she’s a nice. She’s a strong person and mama told me that I’m strong so I want someone who is strong.” Jaekyung said and Jaejoong felt a sharp pain in his heart but he chose to ignore it. Because he knew she was in a better place. “Okay fine.” Jaejoong said rolling his eyes. Jaekyung caught wind of it and mocked him too.

As they entered the shop, Jaekyung immediately ran off. Jaejoong stopped as he saw a familiar face.

“Tiffany…”

-

Jaejoong and Tiffany sat at a secluded corner as Jaekyung was busy playing with other kids in the kiddie corner of the coffee shop. Tiffany and Jaejoong had ordered coffees. It had been three years.

Yes, it had been three years.

After everything, when it all felt like it was going up to perfection, things fell off the wagon immediately and things were such a disaster. Jaejoong thought that he was going to be shipped off to a mental institute. He thought that he was going to go beyond crazy. He thought that everything was just too much but he had someone by his side.

Although he did not even notice, once again Tiffany stood behind him. She was there to help him when he had to pick out the coffin, what she had to wear and where the funeral had to be. She handled the security, making sure that the entire ceremony was t she had to wear and where the funeral had to be. She handled the security, making sure that the entire ceremony was done in private with only Jaejoong and Jaekyung grieving together, with the help of Seyoung and Seo Jin by his side. Even when it was over, she did not immediately leave but instead she stood by to take care of Jaekyung. It was rough, it was more than rough. Tiffany sacrificed days of her own to hide from the public to be there for Jaejoong once again. And when it was time, she parted ways with Jaejoong after those three years. Jaejoong wanted to make sure that Jaekyung would be fine, and he thought a couple of weeks away from Seoul, away from every single vulture of the media they could be fine. He decided to stay in America with only him and Jaekyung.

It took a few days before Jaekyung was finally being a bit more open. It wasn't easy for a child of her age to see before her eyes how her mother drifted away from this world, someone who had raised her and brought her into this world. The only real family she had recognized. But with Jaejoong never gave up. He knew that she needed him, that it was his turn to stand strong for her. With Jaekyung begging for an extension Jaejoong somehow wanted to consider leaving the life he had in Seoul to stay in the US with Jaekyung but he knew that it wasn't what his daughter wanted. So with an extended stay, they were happy and smiling. Not one mention of Eun Jae, and it wasn't because they forgot her but it was because they needed an escape. The both of them needed it. But they both knew that Eun Jae was there following behind them.

"God, here we are again. You'd think that we'd hold the world record for the most 'serious couple talks' ever don't you think?" Tiffany said and laughed. It had been a while since she had seen them, give or take a month because of the extended vacation, but even in that short time it felt like a long time. But then again Jaejoong did practically ignore her throughout her three years of sacrifice for him, how she had slaved away to make sure that he and Jaekyung were eating and that he did not contemplate on suicide.

"I honestly don't even know how we are supposed to begin. We might end up having another talk after this." Jaejoong said and Tiffany smiled. Things were once fixed, Jaejoong had told Tiffany he loved her and that he wanted to marry her but as soon as that conversation was over, Yoochun had called Jaejoong to come by the hospital. Tiffany was there during the call and she didn't want to go away. She felt fear that time, because she knew that if Jaejoong went, she would lose him like a snap. When she went with Jaejoong the two of them were surprised at what had greeted them. It was then and there that Tiffany couldn't stop herself from thinking, what if she was in that situation?

It had felt like her entire life just flashed before her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was even seeing but it was there, right before her eyes and she didn't even know how she was going to put them into words. Like everyone else, she didn't know where she was going, she was lost. It was like every single feeling of selfishness had left her body and she made it her mission to be there, because she knew Jaejoong always needed someone, he always needed someone to be there. You'd be surprised, despite the two families Jaejoong has, they just wouldn't understand him like Tiffany could. And that's why Jaejoong was attracted to her, and it was there Tiffany realized that maybe just maybe. Maybe this was why their lives had crossed paths. She was meant to share experiences with someone even if it wasn't in a romantic way.

"You know. I don't think we were maid to be married." Tiffany just came out with it. She knew that they were both stalling, they needed to 'get real' with the fact that they just weren't meant to be. Tiffany could only imagine what bad luck could come if they even immediately got married then and there. "I know this seems inappropriate but I just want to be real. Because I want to move on with my life as much as you do." Tiffany said. She reached across the table for Jaejoong's hands. "I'll always be here Jaejoong. We don't need to be romantically involved. I will always be here for you, and for her." Tiffany said as she looked towards where Jaekyung was playing. The two of them watched as she smiled and giggled with other children. They saw how happy she was.

"I guess... I'm so-" Tiffany squeezed Jaejoong's hand and shook her head. No more apologies. It was enough. They needed to lay everything to rest. Both of them needed to move on. They needed to surpass this and lead on lives for themselves and for the ones they loved. It was then and there that Jaejoong felt the happiness that he needed. The real happiness. Something he thought he had felt but in reality, it was just there and then that he had felt it and it felt good.

When he bid Tiffany goodbye, he and Jaekyung went back home. No one was camping outside their home. No media was there to bug them. Everyone ignored them, and moved onto the next most controversial event. The world was kept in the dark as to what had happened in this chapter of Jaejoong's life, and he was happy to keep it that way. Leaving everyone with unanswered questions, after all, they didn't need to know something that wasn't their business. It was just time to move on.

That very night, Jaejoong found himself walking towards the balcony. He had left Jaekyung to play with her new doll in the living room. Jaejoong sat by the balcony, and on the table was an unopened bottle of wine. He felt a sharp pain go through his heart as he looked up in the sky.

"I'm sorry..." Jaejoong felt like his heart was about to be crushed. But he felt like it wasn't fair to feel that way, it was not fair to himself. He grabbed the bottle of wine and as his hands were about to open them, he found himself stopping. Like he was being held back and he didn’t know why. Jaejoong placed the bottle down and sighed. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine…” Jaejoong said to himself.

Jaejoong told himself that he didn’t need that, he didn’t need to go back there. He had to move forward. For Jaekyung and for himself. He didn’t need to shower himself in pain, because he had someone who would shower him with love, and whom he would return it to as well. He knew that even without someone whom he could call ‘wife’ he would be fine. Because he had someone who was his daughter, someone to call him.

The sound of the sliding door opened, and without turning back he knew who it was.

“Annyeong appa…”

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Yes you read it right, its all over. It's complete and to be honest I'm proud of myself. Not because of the content but because I was able to finish a fanfic that's chaptered after years now. Its been years since the last time I finished a chaptered fanfic. Honestly, Annyeong Appa is not my favorite fanfic among the ones I've written, which is why I'm really surprised that this has the most subsribers among all my fics but I'm very thankful despite me not being extremely proud. This last chapter feels very rushed but as you can see, this is why I wanted to wait till I felt a bit better to finally post it. Rather than having two more chapters I wanted to post the entire thing. I never gave hints to when the ending was but I did let you guys feel that it was about to end so here it is. If it feels rushed I'm sorry and thank you for reading! Even if you are a silent reader I thank you and to my subscribers who are not my friends please do add me I want to befriend you all. I'll be working on another fic its called MY LITTLE BOY and I'll be starting on that so if you are interest you can check that out I don't know when I will be updating but possibly soon. I thank you all again, silent reader or not thank you so much. And to the ones I usually see commenting haha thanks for the support and also thank you if you do not comment you guys are still amazing becuase you read this piece of crap lol. I hope this last chapter was worth the read guys. I'm not good at endings :((