I wanted to give it to you all a little earlier :))

Recap... (Chapter 27)

Tiffany was staring outside the window. Her mind was just at a complete state of peace. This was something so serene. She felt, for the very first time in months, peace. The day Tiffany told Jaejoong about her mother and her family background she felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders and she felt free. For some reason that very day, when she stepped out of that conversation with TVXQ and the members of SNSD, she felt the sensation of peace just flow through her when she passed through the thresholds of the cafeteria.

She found herself walking aimlessly like the air through a crowd of people working in their company. She found solace in the comfort of the training hall, staring out the window. At moments like this Tiffany usually thought about her married life to Jaejoong. She’d imagine the life, the children everything. She thought of the family she yearned for.

But right now all she thought of was a vacation. Something she truly needed. Just her, all by herself somewhere, possibly an island, enjoying the sun on her skin and her mind just at ease.

Alone.

Something she has forgotten what was like, something she actually feared. She thought that when she left the US that she was alone, that she didn’t have a family to look back on or to come back to because they basically disowned her. They didn’t know who she was let alone care any longer. They had their lives and she went to Seoul to live hers. Her perception of being alone was covered by that and to say the least, it wasn’t necessarily the best. But it was what she was given with.

But after living the life she did now, from garnering that amount of fame and praise, she truly enjoyed every second of it. But sooner or later, things fade and so did her joy for where she was. It wasn’t like she wasn’t happy. She was, but with the rumors the gossip, basically the way she entered into a public relationship just went downhill.

Maybe it was time for her to be alone again, and this time to feel the pure bliss that came with it.

-

“Mama!”

Small hands were at the window.

Tears strolling down her silky cheeks.

She was just scared, she was terrified. She didn’t want to lose her mother. She was her everything.

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Chapter 28: Fighting

It was everywhere. Everyone talked about it and there was just no silence over the issue. Despite the situation, the media just made a frenzy out of it. They treated it as if it wasn’t something that did not require one to be sensitive. No, they don’t care. They just did what they had to do to get people to talk about it, get it circulating. But none of them really knew what happened.

-

Hours after a long deep sleep, Jaejoong woke up feeling like complete and utter . His hangover was about to begin and he wasn’t excited at all. He wasn’t feeling well when he began drinking and it seems as if the drinking didn’t help wear it out. Jaejoong got up from bed, he checked his phone and several missed calls and messages were just there waiting to be replied back to. Jaejoong sighed, he just wanted to drop out of the face of the earth, even for just this day.

He thought maybe skipping work for the day would be fine, no one was going to care if he was gone for just one day. Incidentally, it was the opposite, but Jaejoong was oblivious. He got up and cooked himself something spicy that could help him ease the massive hangover that was just casually bathing inside his head. He couldn’t really remember much that night, but he had a dream about Eun Jae. About seeing her and telling her his true feelings.

True feelings.

Something he has been so confused about was none other than how he really felt. Despite all the anger, the situation and how he felt for Tiffany, he knew that it still wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t his true feelings to say the least. It was as if his mind had tried with all its might to suppress the memory. Suppress the memory that gave him the honest feelings he had for Eun Jae. But deep inside he knew that he himself suppressed them because he wanted to choose the right path. The path that everyone that he worked for would be happy with, the path that would lead the media and the world to believe that Jaejoong was going to have the most amazing future with a woman like Tiffany.

But even if he tried to choose that path, there have been incidences that had led him back to the path he really wanted to walk on. And because of that, everything else derailed. He wasn’t marrying Tiffany any time soon, his daughter was nowhere to be found just yet, and Eun Jae hated him. Hated him with a passion.

She hates me. She hates me and its my fault. She hates me because I haven’t been honest. She hates me. She hates me.

Jaejoong repeated in his head as he chewed on his food slowly. So much was going on. He really just wanted to straighten things out. But inside his heart he felt a certain ache, and it was an ache in battle. He wanted to just get up, get out of his house, tell the media to off and apologize to Eun Jae, if possible even beg.

But on the other hand he knew it wasn’t the right move. At this rate, he was confused. He felt so lost and he didn’t know where to go, what to do or who to even run to. He obviously didn’t see himself running to his parents, his friends and he definitely wasn’t going to be a and run to Tiffany to ask her what he should choose.

I just want to be done with it….

-

“So… You’re leaving?” Sunny asked Tiffany as they watched her booking herself a flight that weekend to go back to the US and see her dad. “Why do you make it sound like I’m leaving the group? I’m not.” Tiffany said. She filled out the proper info and booked her flight. She closed her laptop and headed for the kitchen. Sunny, Hyoyeon and Taeyeon sat on the counter and watched Tiffany move around like she was an animal in the zoo.

“I’ll be back. I told the company I really needed some time off. They allowed me to and they are going to disclose details as to where I will be heading. But knowing the media they’ll probably know. But that’s all they’ll know. I’ll only be gone for a week. I just need to fix things with my family so I can get to what I want.” Tiffany said and the girls looked at her, they felt like they didn’t get the answer they wanted.

“So its really over between you and Jaejoong, huh.” Taeyeon asked, as insensitive as it sounded, it needed to be asked. Tiffany nodded, and this time she didn’t feel pain. The reality that she was leaving and breaking it off with Jaejoong for good was no longer something painful. It was no longer something that she yearned for.

But, that was simply the part of her that had suppressed everything. Despite the feeling of wanting to be alone, Tiffany knew that it wasn’t going to be long before her facade breaks and she yearns to be with Jaejoong. She knew that no matter what she did, the feelings will remain. But as of the moment, as of the very moment that she was still feeling the joy of wanting to be alone, she was going to take advantage of it and what she wanted was to patch things with her family and try to live the rest as is till the day comes when she wants Jaejoong back, when she and him will officially wed, or at least that is what she hopes.

But dealing with Jaejoong, Eun Jae and the whole situation had to wait. She wanted to milk the pleasure of loneliness while she still had it. She was the only one who knew what she felt, and that was it. No one was allowed to know. She didn’t want to disclose the situation or the feelings with anyone. She wanted to keep it to herself and even with the girls willing to listen Tiffany wasn’t willing to talk about it.

But there was one thing Tiffany forgot. It was how Taeyeon could be so good at seeing through her lies.

While Hyoyeon and Sunny talked by the counter in the kitchen. Taeyeon followed Tiffany to her room.

“How long?” Taeyeon asked, her arms crossed and her face filled with concern. Tiffany looked at her, gave her a weak smile. “For a while.” Tiffany said and moved her unfolded clothes to the floor. “You can’t keep doing this. I mean, I feel bad for that Eun Jae girl and I do feel bad for Jaejoong but I’m more worried about you.” Taeyeon said and sat next to her. Taeyeon wasn’t just their leader, she was Tiffany’s friend.

“I know, but the thing is…” Tiffany began. “When I walked out of that cafeteria, I felt a wave of bliss. I had a realization that maybe I wanted to be alone. But when I had that realization I knew it was all a lie, an act, a performance to myself. It's like I’ve dealt with so much, that I felt a lot of pain that I just wanted to lie to myself by telling myself that I needed to feel alone again, that I needed to discover the joy of what being alone was. And it happened. I thought about it, and I actually believed it.” Tiffany said as tears were beginning to form in her eyes.

Taeyeon didn’t like seeing the way Tiffany was. But it couldn’t be helped. Tiffany had a moment where she thought about being alone, where she said to herself that she wanted. But it took her a while to realize that it wasn’t true, that it was a lie that she made to herself. But right now, she needed it. She needed it to stay that way so she could pull focus from the situation she is in and give herself the well deserved time she needed to mend the relationships that were important to her, her family.

“When I come back. I will feel the need to be with Jaejoong. And I want to make sure that I am ready once again. Because I know fighting for Jaejoong will be a bloody battle. Eun Jae may tell herself that she is mad at him, she may tell the world that Jaejoong is a devil and that I’m his accomplice but I know she wants him as much as I do.” Tiffany said as she wiped away her tears.

“I want to be ready to fight her. And when I win, I’m making sure she stays gone.”

-

“I still don’t understand why she had to do this.” Seyoung said as she stood in that hospital room, staring at Eun Jae’s unconscious body. Exiting Jaejoong’s home and trying to run away from the crowd, not only did Eun Jae fall to the ground unconscious, but a car driving by had hit her, those two together nearly killed her. But her body fought back and now she laid in a hospital, life support by her side and her body fighting.

Mina was called as her emergency contact. Mina was confused and she didn’t know what to do, especially since Jaekyung was with them. It seems as if the plan Eun Jae had derailed and took a detour. Mina decided to head over to Seyoung’s place and get her to come over. Seyoung was surprised to hear everything but it wasn’t like she wasn’t suspicious. Jaekyung was happy to see her and she decided not to talk about the kidnapping.

When Seyoung stepped into that room and saw Eun Jae she was speechless. She barely knew her, and even if the conversation they had before was a trick, she knew that half of it was true. That half of it was something Eun Jae was truly talking about from her true feelings.

“Did you call Jaejoong?” Seyoung asked as she decided to take a seat next to Mina. “I don’t know his number, and I don’t think it's a good idea. She’s in a coma but she can definitely hear us. She might just wake up and beat the out of me if I called that devil.” Mina said. As she realized what she just called Jaejoong she immediatley apologized to Seyoung. “No need to apologize, I know how you guys feel about him.” Seyoung said. She watched Mina the top of Jaekyung’s head.

Jaekyung was wide awake from the moment that she discovered where she and Mina were headed to.

Where are we going?

Mina didn’t want to tell Jaekyung, she didn’t know how. She wasn’t good with children, she never had any.

Mama!!! Wake up please!!

She felt so sorry for Jaekyung, a little girl seeing her mother that way. Jaekyung was both confused and in pain.

Why won’t she wake up… Is she going to go to heaven… I don’t want her to go yet… Make her stay Mina…

Seyoung couldn’t handle it anymore. She took out her phone and began to ring Jaejoong up. “What are you doing?” Mina asked as she gave Seyoung a serious look. “Something that needs to be done.” Seyoung said.

It only took Jaejoong 30 minutes to get there. Which was the practical time to get to that hospital from his place. When Jaejoong exited the building he was surprised at the amount of press that was just scattered. It was more than the usual and it slightly surprised him, but he was too busy thinking of Eun Jae to care.

Seyoung made the conversation brief but giving Jaejoong full information. When he heard the word coma next to Eun Jae’s next he felt the whole world break in half. Jaejoong could feel his heart sinking. He literally dropped everything, and walked out of the apartment. He even didn’t even think of whether or not he actually locked the door. He didn’t care, he made his way to his car and zoomed towards the hospital.

When he got there he didn’t care how star struck people were. He got through security and headed to Eun Jae’s floor. People in the elevator stared at him like he was an unknown specie but Jaejoong was oblivious. When he got there, Mina didn’t know what to say, but Jaekyung did wake up.

“Appa!” Jaekyung yelled and jumped off her seat, running towards Jaejoong and crying. Jaejoong immediately lifted her up and hugged her. “I thought I lost you.” Jaejoong whispered. “Mama!” Jaekyung pointed towards Eun Jae with tears. Jaejoong looked, and saw her lifeless body just there.

Jaejoong felt like every bone in his body just lost its strength. He was close to just falling to the ground. Not in shock, but more of in pain at what he was seeing. Jaejoong let Jaekyung down slowly becuase he was afraid that he might drop her. Seyoung gestured for Jaekyung to come to her and Mina.

The two watched as Jaejoong walked towards Eun Jae. Jaejoong could feel his breath slowly stopping. It felt like air was gone. Jaejoong stared at her with wide eyes. His hands slowly reaching hers. He was afraid of touching her. He was afraid that she might break if he touched her.

But he needed to.

He wanted to.

As soon as Jaejoong’s hand held hers, a waterfall of tears flowed from his eyes. One hand on hers, the other on his face as he cried. He fell to his knees, not letting go of her hand and yelling out how dumb and pathetic he was. How much of an idiot he was and how sorry he was.

Jaekyung watched in confusion.

Seyoung watched in pain.

Mina watched in awe.

Jaejoong was breaking down, he was at the tip of the cliff and how he was just falling and waiting to reach the ground. Waiting for his entire being to break and feel numb. Eun Jae’s eyes were in tear. Despite not being able to move everything else, she could hear everything. She could hear everything that everyone was talking about. She could hear Jaejoong’s cries of pain and apology and her feelings hurt as well despite her state, and with that tears rolled down.

Jaejoong got up and tried to compose himself but failed. He leaned down Eun Jae’s body, kissed her forehead and whispered endless apologies. Jaejoong didn’t know how much more he could take of what he was seeing. But he definitely wished it was a dream.

-

Hyoyeon, Sunny and Taeyeon bid their goodbyes to Tiffany as they left to return home. Tiffany closed the door and sighed in relief. Her conversation with Taeyeon felt brutal but she knew it actually helped her try to put things into perspective. As soon as she sat down on her couch her phone alert sounded the room.

As she grabbed her phone she saw an article that caught her attention. As she opened the news, the first photo shown was of Eun Jae leaving Jaejoong’s building. The headline stated that Jaejoong and Eun Jae spent the night together, the entire article suggested that Jaejoong was having an affair with Eun Jae. The article talked about how Jaejoong did not leave the premises but that Eun Jae entered Jaejoong’s place at night, and that the security did not seem to question her but inside let her through as they blocked the media.

The news went on to several lies and opportunities to lash out a complete and utter affair-filled controversy. Tiffany felt her entire being just boil. She held her phone tightly. She could feel flames in her heart and her mind just go to a dark, dark place. At that moment she felt like a teenager who wanted to kill someone.

She could feel so much rage just enveloping her. She scoffed and laid back. She tried to think of Jaejoong’s possible excuses. She tried to think of calling Jaejoong.

She tried to fight the urge, she didn’t want to have anything to do with this. Her goal was to get back to the US, fix her life and get back her to win Jaejoong.

That goal was definitely not going away, she was still willing to continue that goal but she wasn’t sure how much she could take. At that point, after seeing that article and how fast it was spreading. Tiffany was already plotting what she wanted to do to Eun Jae.

She focused herself onto the article, and completely ignored another related article, one that spoke of what happened to Eun Jae right after she walked out. Tiffany just didn’t care. The scandalous article of a possible affair between Jaejoong and Eun Jae riled her up.

It’s not even a theory. That was there for hours.

Tiffany thought to herself, and she was right. Eun Jae was there for nearly a day but she didn’t have an affair with Jaejoong. But Tiffany didn’t have facts or proof. All she had was a scandalous article.

But despite that, Tiffany gave herself a pep talk. She was going to go to the US, fix her issues. Come back, fully loaded with ammo, ready to fight for Jaejoong.

And she was determined to win.

-

"Hey, I need to go to work. Is it okay if I leave you here?" Mina asked Jaejong as she stood up from her seat and grabbed her bag from across the room. Jaejoong didn't respond, he had his eyes hooked onto Eun Jae's, hoping that any second they would open. Mina didn't bother to repeat her question. She bid goodbye to Eun Jae through a whisper, and told Jaekyung goodbye. Seyoung bumped into Mina as she was leaving the room. "You're leaving already?" Seyoung asked and Mina nodded. "I was going to ask if you guys were hungry. Anyway, I had to make a quick call which is why I left earlier. I went to call Jaejoong's manager, with people knowing he's here they'll try to get in and I don't know Eun Jae well enough but I know Jaejoong wouldn't want people prying around." Seyoung said and Mina smiled.

"I don't really know what to say after what I did." Mina said, feeling embarrassed over breaking and entering Seyoung's house, and kidnapping Jaekyung without the child's knowledge. "Listen, as much as I'd like to stay angry, I don't think we have time for it. Besides, no one was hurt and you guys did it for Eun Jae and it wasn't like Jaekyung realized it, and I think it's good that way." Seyoung said and Mina nodded in agreement. "Anyway I need to go, I have work." Mina said and they nodded to one another as a form of goodbye.

Seyoung quietly entered the room, and sat down. She watched as her brother held Eun Jae's hand, with only the sound of the life support machine being heard. Jaekyung was sitting on Jaejoong's lap, looking at her mother as well. Jaejoong's eyes were fully focused on Eun Jae, hoping that she'd wake up. That even if she woke up mad at him, he wouldn't care just that she was awake and not the way she was. "Appa..." Jaekyung's voice croaked as she looked at Jaejoong. Even with that, Jaejoong's eyes were still hooked on Eun Jae.

"Why are you and mama fighting all the time?" Jaekyung asked and Jaejoong smiled. He didn't know what to say to his little girl. She was smart but she was too young for everything. Jaejoong held Jaekyung tight, pulling her into a warm hug. "Jaekyung, I want you to know something." Jaejoong began and Jaekyung's ears were perked up to listen.

"Your mama is the best thing that has happened to me. Your mama is the most generous person in this world, she loves you with all her heart and she has thought of no one else but you. You are always in her thoughts." Jaejoong said and Jaekyung smiled. "Mama always told me that no matter what happens I need to always remember what to do if she was gone. She told me that I should always listen to you, and that I shouldn't listen to you two fighting. But I know that you two fight all the time. I know that you and mama love each other but you're always fighting." Jaekyung said and Jaejoong was caught off guard with what Jaekyung was saying. "I know you and mama love each other, please stop fighting. I don't want you to fight. I want the both of you to be happy and love each other like you always want to. I know you want to appa, and I know mommy Tiffany will be okay if you are honest. I know that she loves you too." Jaekyung said.

Jaejoong was surprised. It was at that moment that he realized that those years he was not in her life, those years that Eun Jae raised her on her own, she raised a little girl who was too smart for her age. A little girl who knew so much about everything around her, was fully aware and was given the knowledge to always be aware. Jaekyung could see through their fights. Even a little girl like her knew that Jaejoong was fighting his feelings. Eun Jae was the perfect mother. Jaejoong felt so much guilt over the things he had said. Even without him, Jaekyung would still grow up to be the best she could be. Eun Jae definitely gave Jaekyung everything, and Jaejoong knew better than to said what he had told her during their fights.

"You're such a smart girl you know that..." Jaejoong said and kissed the top of her head. Jaekyung smiled and looked at her dad. "Of course, mama always thought everything." Jaekyung said and that was the moment that Jaejoong's eyes moved from Eun Jae to his daughter. He felt so proud to be a father. From the very day that his daughter had walked into his life. He was proud of his success and the things he had accomplished, the people he had influenced but there was nothing more amazing than feeling proud of being a father.

"Jaejoong, don't you think you should rest? Even for a bit?" Seyoung interrupted and Jaejoong shook his head. "I don't want to leave." Jaejoong said and Seyoung sighed. "You can't just stay here, you should rest. It isn't good for you. What if you end up here at the hospital too?" Seyoung said. "Appa, you should rest. Mama will still be here." Jaekyung pleaded as well. "If you don't want to leave, you can sleep on the sofa over there. It's comfortable. I can ask for pillows if you want." Seyoung said and Jaejoong shook his head. He was too stubborn. He didn't want to leave her side.

"I can't leave, I need to stay."

-

When a week passed, Eun Jae's condition was still the same. The doctor that was handling her made rounds everyday to chec up on her, mostly upon Jaejoong's request. In which actually felt like a demand. Jaekyung had been staying at Seyoung and Seo Jin's place. Seyoung was always there and telling Jaejoong she was willing to switch shifts with her so he could go home and relax but Jaejoong refused. He stayed within that hospital room, holding her hand and staring at her. His mind surrounded with thoughts of things he had regret and things he wanted to tell Eun Jae. The doctor told him that at times he had to talk to Eun Jae, that she could hear him but Jaejoong felt like a cat got his tongue. He could never say what he wanted to say, and he knew it was because he felt guilty.

In that weekend, Tiffany flew to the US. She met up with her sister but for a brief moment. She felt like she didn't belong and chose to stay at a hotel rather than their actual home. As soon as she stepped out of the plane, she felt all possible negatives just shoot at her body. Her mind began to ramble through the words that she wanted to say when she finally got to talk to her family members. She wasn't sure where exactly she was going to start but she was going to.

After a few more days, everyone was going to gather for her dad's birthday. Her older siblings Leo and Michelle already knew what Tiffany wanted to talk about. Despite the fact that they stopped talking to each other from the day Tiffany left, they knew what she came back for. But for the entire birthday party, Tiffany couldn't find the courage to get everyone to listen to her. She felt like an outsider in a crowd of people that she was related to. She mainly stayed in corners and kept herself busy eating. She made a joke in her mind that her group's trainer was going to be furious at how much weight she'll be gaining.

It wasn't until night fall, when everyone had left, that Tiffany got to sit down with her older siblings and her dad. Everything was quiet for a moment, Tiffany was to begin but she felt so nervous.

"We will get nowhere if you don't start." Michelle said coldly and Tiffany could feel it from across the room. "I know that the decisions I made weren't ones you all approved of. We became so distant when mama left us. I don't blame her, I'm not blaming her. I loved her as much as all of you did but I really need to be blunt when I say that I thought you all hated me when I left." Tiffany said. All of them simply looked at her, their facial expressions stones, as if they didn't care about what she was saying. "I know you all don't approve, I know we aren't as close as we used to be. And-" "So you're blaming us for this?" Leo said and Tiffany sighed and shook her head. "No, what I'm saying is-" "If you only came here to lecture us three and talk about the awkwardness this family has, you might as well get a ticket to go back to Korea." Her dad finally spoke.

Tiffany had never felt so much pain, and it to come from her family? She wanted to give up. No one was listening, no one seemed to care. They were all busy trying to tear her down and ignore what she was trying to say. "I'm not blaming anybody. And before you say anything else I'd appreciate it if you let me finish." Tiffany said, becoming more strict. "I didn't fly miles away, took a leave from my busy career just to get nowhere with you all. I came here because I wanted to mend the broken wires in our family. I know that I had a part in not communicating with either of you. I blame myself I truly do. But you need to also acknowledge your mistakes." Tiffany said and her family was just staring at her as if she was some insane woman.

"If you aren't going to acknowledge it then fine. But I am here so say sorry. I want to move on with my life. I have problems back in Korea and I thought to myself that I need to face them instead of running away. So here I am, starting with you all. I'll be here for another day. If any of you care, you'd make an effort. I made my move, I hope you do the same." Tiffany said as she stood up.

"I felt like I don't belong. I feel like I'm not a member of this family and it . I stood here, on your birthday papa, with being given the chance to greet you but then be ignored for the rest of the day. I stayed in corners because I felt like I didn't belong. I could see all the eyes judging me and questioning who I was. As if I wasn't your child." Tiffany said and walked away.

She wasn't having it. It was too much. She was blamed for the way her family was. She was told she had all the issues and that the family was only struggling because of her. But from the looks of it, they seemed to be fine without her and that hurt her a lot. Tiffany just wasn't having it. She didn't need people in her life who were willing to treat her that way. She said her piece, she could only hope that her family would do the same.

If not, she had to move on.