Previously... (Chapter 17: Fear)

Eun Jae opened her eyes and the bright lights of the hospital room blinded her, forcing her to close her eyes. She slowly began to open them and she looked around. She was now in a hospital gown, in a white room that was obviously a hospital. Her things were on the chair, now dry. She looked around the room and there was nothing. Her clothes were on the chair, dry and neatly folded.

“Why am I here?” Eun Jae asked herself but she couldn’t even find an answer. She moved to the side of the bed, her legs swinging down the bed. She gently pushed herself off the bed and grabbed her clothes. She headed towards the bathroom and began to change. As soon as she was done and went to her bag and shuffled for her phone.

Obviously, it couldn’t work anymore. She cursed and sighed, heading towards the door only to be stopped. “Oh, Ms. Lee you’re awake.” A male  doctor entered the room. “You shouldn’t be getting up, you aren’t really well yet.” The doctor said but Eun Jae wasn’t going to stay there even for the last second. “I need to go home.” Eun Jae said forcefully but the doctor wasn’t going to comply. “Ms. Lee please… Besides, the only way you’ll be able to leave is-“

“If you get my permission.”

A voice from behind spoke and the two had their eyes focused on who it was.

Jaejoong.

He stood by the door, his eyes determined and somehow anxious in a certain way, he had a bouquet clutched tightly on his left hand. “Mr. Kim I’m glad you are here I was just about to read Ms. Lee on her current status.” The doctor said and Eun Jae froze on the spot. She felt a certain alienated feeling of fear. She wasn’t sure why.

Hours ago she somehow felt dominant but now it was just different. Jaejoong closed the door behind him and walked pass the two. He set the flowers down and sat on the chair next to the bed. “Well?” Jaejoong said expecting the two to return to their former roles. Eun Jae found herself complying and lying back down on the bed. Jaejoong’s eyes were glued on her every move, from how she got back up to the bed to how she fixated her position.

“She seems all fine, though she’ll need more rest especially since she just had a near death experience. You’ll be fine really, just more bed rest since everything was just so sudden. I can have you discharged any time, as long as it complies with Mr. Kim.” The doctor said looking at Jaejoong, who simply nodded his head in agreement. Eun Jae felt like she was being trapped in a prison cell. She wanted out.

“Would you mind leaving us alone now?” Jaejoong requested from the doctor. He nodded and left the room abruptly. A few seconds of silence shrouded the room and Jaejoong sighed, letting out a heavy breath.

“From now on, you will do as I say.” Jaejoong said, his eyes looking elsewhere, but the stance it had was purely intimidating. “What makes you think I’d follow you? I’m not your submissive.” Eun Jae tried to fight back but Jaejoong simply scoffed at her. “You seriously think I’m going to let you have your freedom?” Jaejoong said, now looking at her this time. Eun Jae suddenly felt a feel of fear course through her body.

She fell silent.

“I’m going to have you move to another place. I’ve seen where you live and it’s too far. I need you near, I’m having someone watch over you and I’ll be checking in from time to time. From then on Jaekyung will be staying with you, I think its best when a child is with its mother. Don’t worry, I will certainly drop by every day. Tiffany will be out of the question. I haven’t really spoken with her yet.” Jaejoong said and Eun Jae suddenly remembered Tiffany.

“Will you marry her?” Eun Jae said and Jaejoong didn’t really know the answer. It’s true he still loved her, that he was still willing to marry her but there was just a barrier, something stopping him from crossing the bridge and that was what he had recently discovered. It was unexpected and he wasn’t really sure if he could trust Tiffany. She betrayed him once and it could happen again.

And he knew it was going to take the Mary to get Tiffany to comply with what Jaejoong has planned for Eun Jae.

There was also the matter of how Jaejoong’s feelings for Eun Jae was just everywhere, an unfinished puzzle. Unsolvable. He didn’t know which pieces fit together, it was too difficult for him to finish and he wasn’t sure how he would even start. But he thought keeping her close by would help it, though he was afraid that unwanted feelings might develop and he would end up hurting Tiffany.

It was after all, Tiffany who had somehow been there for him during Eun Jae’s absence and she did fill in the hole that was meant for Eun Jae. “You can’t just hide me from Tiffany. It’s somehow like cheating.” Eun Jae said and sighed. “My business with Tiffany is none of yours. You can’t talk concerns about me with her even if it’s for her well-being.” Jaejoong said and Eun Jae somehow felt jealous.

In his tone she could hear the sense of nobility. The knight in shining armor that was Kim Jaejoong. He was protecting her. From who?

The likes of Eun Jae?

The likes….

It was as if she was a poisonous thing or something that Tiffany feared. Like she needed to be tamed or put down so as to protect the princess Tiffany. She felt belittled, hurt and jealous. She didn’t know how else to really predict how she felt but she knew she felt jealous and little next to someone like Tiffany.  “It’s funny how I look like a mistress even if you two aren’t married yet.” Eun Jae said trying to fill up the awkward silence trying to swallow them in.

“We aren’t married yet.” Jaejoong pointed out. “That’s what I said.” Eun Jae said innocently and Jaejoong didn’t bother to reply. He was feeling angry for some reason. He wasn’t sure why just yet, maybe that the two girls he had cared and loved the most have betrayed him just now, and that it was the two of them together too.

“I’m sorry.” Eun Jae said and Jaejoong’s eyes softened as he looked at her. “Do you actually mean that?” Jaejoong asked and Eun Jae nodded her head. Jaejoong simply scoffed.

“That’s a lie.” Jaejoong said and Eun Jae’s brows creased. “What?” Eun Jae asked and Jaejoong shook his head in what seems to be disappointment.

“I can’t trust you or Tiffany after the stunt you pulled.” Jaejoong said and Eun Jae wanted to speak up but Jaejoong didn’t give her any time.

“Don’t even try to apologize again. I’m not having it. From now on, you aren’t leaving me. I can’t keep your word for it anymore. You’re just a liar.” Jaejoong said and left the room abruptly.

Eun Jae felt guilty, she honestly wanted to cry, she didn’t know how else to feel. The Jaejoong she sees before her isn’t the one she had expected. She felt scared, and she just wanted to go home. To be far far away from Jaejoong.

But now it seemed all too far of a distance, she just can’t reach her goal anymore.

Chapter 18: Heart

“So… The wedding is off?” Jessica innocently asked as she played with the napkin in her hand. “No it’s not!” Tiffany snapped at her friend, leaving Jessica to jump in shock and stare at Tiffany like she was terrified of her, which she was at that moment. “I’m sorry...” Tiffany was quick to apologize as she brushed her hair with her hand. The week that had passed by since Eun Jae’s incident was grueling for Tiffany.  Jaejoong had yet to say a single word; his last words to her were about their wedding. Jaejoong had made it clear that he was in charge and that he would decide when the wedding was. The plans that were made previously were then cancelled.

“I don’t know what to think. I found some stuff in his work space, I saw papers and apparently Jaejoong has her living somewhere nearby, walking distance. I am not comfortable with the fact that his former lover is just a walk away from where he lives. Where I will be living soon!” Tiffany said. “Where she might be living soon if he still agrees to marry her.” Sooyoung whispred but Tiffany heard it and gave her a look.

“You need to calm down. Have you tried talking to Eun Jae?” Taeyeon asked and Tiffany looked at their leader as if she was insane. “I know what it sounds like but maybe it would ease you if you actually got to talk to her.” Taeyeon said and Tiffany hadn’t really given that some thought. She never would want to talk to someone who was formerly linked with the man she was about to marry. Especially when that particular person is somehow still present and talking to her lover.

“I don’t even want to entertain the fact that they are still connected, I won’t bother to try and talk to that woman. She is just impossible.” Tiffany said and Taeyeon sighed. Tiffany was a hard headed woman, all her friends new this most especially her family members. Giving her advice was particularly pointless.

But despite that fact, three hours later Tiffany found herself rummaging through Jaejoong’s things trying to figure out where Eun Jae had lived. She previously saw the paper just on the table like it wasn’t going anywhere. But as she got back from ranting to the other members of SNSD the paper was no longer there. “What are you looking for?” a small voice spoke and Tiffany jumped as she turned to find Jaekyung standing there watching Tiffany in pure curiosity.

“Nothing, I’m just cleaning your daddy’s office Jaekyung.” Tiffany said and smiled. She approached Jaekyung and knelt down in front of her so that they were facing the same level. “Jaekyung ah, do you love mommy Tiffany?” Tiffany asked and Jaekyung nodded her head. “How much do you love mommy Tiffany?” Tiffany asked and Jaekyung pretended to think about it then she hugged Tiffany. “I love mommy Tiffany as tight as my hugs, as sweet as my kisses and as magnificent as the sky and as beautiful as the stars!” Jaekyung said and Tiffany felt herself producing tears.

Tiffany had never imagined that the innocent Jaekyung would even turn around and consider Tiffany as a mother. She had expected to be the hated step-mother just like everyone else. Tiffany wiped her tears and hugged Jaekyung once more. “I love you that much too.”

-

“You don’t have to check up on me every day. Don’t you have a wedding to plan?” Eun Jae said, a certain acid in her tone. Jaejoong just kept himself busy with the Rubik’s cube that was placed as a decoration on the coffee table which he now kept turning and couldn’t put back to its original form. “I think it’s better this way. At least I can be assured that you aren’t running away from me again.” Jaejoong said and Eun Jae sighed as she slouched on the other side of the couch. “You’re pathetic.” Eun Jae spoke quietly and Jaejoong stopped.

He glared at her and hid the pain he felt through that one simple word.

Pathetic.

“I’m not…” Jaejoong retorted quietly and continued with what he was doing. “Whatever.” Eun Jae stood up and headed towards her room, slamming her door as she went inside. She stayed inside her room, having to occupy herself with her thoughts. She decided to switch on the TV to see if there was anything distracting but there was none. She found her mind lingering towards thoughts of a better life.

Maybe if I wasn’t so scared and careless I’d be living the life I really wanted. I would be a college graduate soon and possibly spoken for by the man I love. To start a family and work on my own profession years later and just create a little happy home.

Eun Jae thought as she continued to fantasize about a family she wanted. She began to smile softly while tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’ll be fine.” Eun Jae told herself. Jaejoong on the other hand was by the door trying to listen to a sound but all he heard was the murmuring of the TV. He began to feel guilt by trapping someone and of all people the one he loves.

Love.

Jaejoong wasn’t sure what it was anymore. He felt confused and torn. He wasn’t sure if he could trust anyone, even Tiffany. Jaejoong just wanted a life where he would be happy with someone he loved and with a child. Now that he couldn’t picture anyone else he imagined a life with Eun Jae and Jaekyung. Living peacefully and without shame as they flaunted their little happy family in front of the public.

To have fans support them and the media report articles or scenarios about them walking together in the park enjoying a cloudy day that was filled with bliss. Photos of them shopping together with smiles all over the web and netizens leaving generous comments about how lucky they are and what a great family model they are to the society.

Despite the wishes of Jaejoong and Eun Jae they couldn’t fulfill it. They couldn’t find a way to make things come true. If it were up to others they would part ways and allow time to simply heal the wounds and process them delicately through life with a future that has no solid plans. A future that will change for the better.

“I’m leaving.” Jaejoong announced by the door as he knocked twice but there was no response. Jaejoong opted to wait a while more but he knew Eun Jae wouldn’t even consider coming outside so he decided to leave anyway. As he walked towards the car he took his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number.

“I’m a little thirsty, I’m coming over.”

-

“You really are thirsty.” Yoomin, the owner of the bar Eun Jae met Jaejoong in, said as he watched Jaejoong take another chug of the beer. His sixth to be exact. “I just wanna get hammered and get this day over then start again tomorrow and just let things go.” Jaejoong said. Yoomin patted Jaejoong’s back. “Listen, I don’t know what is happening to your life but it will get better soon. If the issue involves a woman then good luck because there is never a solution to deal with women.” Yoomin said and Jaejoong found solace.

Despite how half-hearted the advice sounded Jaejoong could never care. He just needed an next to him as he kept chugging down alcohol in his system and Yoomin was the perfect choice, especially since he owns a bar. “Let’s not talk about my ty life, what’s happening tonight?” Jaejoong asked and Yoomin cleared his throat.

“I’m having a couple of members of SNSD stopping by for a little sing-song of their song Mr. Mr. and then I’m going to have the girls entertain a few of my customers. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna let Tiffany do such a thing I’m going to have her chat with one of my female bartenders.” Yoomin said as he took a swig of his whiskey.

“SNSD? Working as sly escorts? What the ?” Jaejoong said and Yoomin laughed. “Don’t be an Jaejoong I didn’t mean entertain in that way what I meant was for them to have a couple of drinks and a comfortable chat with a few VIP fans of theirs that I know of. I’m only having them perform so it would look like they weren’t paid to talk to my VIPs. You are welcome to come over and keep your woman company.” Yoomin said and Jaejoong shook his head.

“I’m here and she is one of the reasons so I guess it’s best if I steer clear of this place later.” Jaejoong said as he grabbed Yoomin’s glass of whiskey and just chugged in down. “Ever heard of ordering your own alcohol?” Yoomin said and Jaejoong smirked. “It was begging for me to take it.” Jaejoong said. “Two more.” Yoomin called out to his bartender.

-

Eun Jae contemplated more in her room and after thirty minutes since Jaejoong had said goodbye she got out of her room and was headed for the kitchen to fix herself a meal, but the doorbell rang. She walked over and knew it would be Jaejoong. “Listen I don’t wanna listen to your okay Jaejoo-“ before Eun Jae could even finish his name she was surprised to see that it wasn’t Jaejoong, but Tiffany.

“Hey.” Tiffany said and Eun Jae had a poker face plastered on her face. She didn’t know whether she’d dread the surprise or just simply feel surprised. “Hey.” She said back. “Mind if I come in?” Tiffany asked and Eun Jae didn’t know what to say next. “I’m coming in anyway.” Tiffany said and walked in, bumping shoulders with Eun Jae.

“Did Jaejoong tell you I was here?” Eun Jae asked as she closed the door and Tiffany shook her head. “How’d you find out?” Eun Jae asked and Tiffany sat down. “Let’s just say, Jaejoong likes to leave things a mess.” Tiffany said, giving another sort of meaning as she eyed Eun Jae from head to toe. Eun Jae saw this and scoffed. She crossed her arms and began to look snobby. “If you came here to start a fight, trust me honey I’m tougher than you can ever imagine.” Eun Jae said and Tiffany was a bit surprised at what was told. “Oh really now?” Tiffany asked as she stood up.

She walked over Eun Jae and practically were inches from their noses touching. “No matter how tough you are, it doesn’t and it will never change the fact that you are a desperate lowlife who can’t gain control or power over her own life. Instead, she leeches off to a rich man who knocked her up.” Tiffany said and it pierced through Eun Jae.

“Sorry Tiffany, I’m not as desperate as you. Unlike you, I’m not kneeling on the floor after the bits and pieces of Jaejoong’s love.” Eun Jae fought back. “Think you’re so tough with your words? Remember I’ve got the ring on my finger baby.” Tiffany said and Eun Jae smiled.

“You have the ring and I’ve got the heart.” Eun Jae said and Tiffany found herself swallowing her words. Eun Jae smirked as she saw the fear in Tiffany’s eyes.

She had the upper hand.