Excerpt from Chapter 13: (a little recap)

“Eun Jae ah, don’t forget to close up alright?” Eun Jae’s manager announced. “Yes ahjusshi!” Eun Jae said and bowed as he big goodbye. “Eun Jae ah, I’ll wait for you at the back okay? Close up the front and just pass through the back exit.” Ji Min said and made her way towards the back. Eun Jae approached the door and was about to put the padlock on the chains that were around the handles of the front door when a car parked by their parking lot. Eun Jae’s eyebrows furrowed as she saw a woman come out of the car. She watched as she walked towards the passenger seat. What came out surprised Eun Jae causing her to drop the keys. A young girl who looked exactly like her was standing next to a woman, holding her hand. The young girl waved at her and Eun Jae gasped.

“I’m sorry for intruding onto you like this.” Han Seul said as she circled the coffee mug in her hand. Ji Min was playing with Jaekyung while Eun Jae and Han Seul were at the kitchen talking. “How did you know where I worked?” Eun Jae asked and Han Seul smiled softly. “Manager Jang told me. The boys are gone, including Jaejoong and Manager Jang. They were supposed to stay at the lake house but-” “Yeah I heard a hoard of journalists were waiting for them since 3 AM. It was reported on the news this afternoon. They went to Paris huh?” Eun Jae said as she looked down at her coffee. “Yes, they did.” Han Seul said and Eun Jae heaved out a sigh.

“Is it because of me?” Eun Jae said and she looked up at Han Seul. Han Seul simply smiled at her. “It’s not your fault. Jaejoong acted out of control. Whether you are alive or dead, he should know better. If he truly loved you he’d respect your wishes but just like any ordinary man, Jaejoong is stubborn.” Han Seul said. “I practically watch these boys grow, Jaejoong has not changed. He was still that quiet playful boy he was the moment he entered the business.” Han Seul said and Eun Jae nodded her head.

“I have to know though, why.” Han Seul said and Eun Jae looked at her. “Why are you staying away from Jaejoong like this? Looking at where you live and where you work it seems like you really need money. You do know Jaejoong could give you everything right?” Han Seul said and Eun Jae nodded her head. She began to fight back the tears that were gently falling.

“I do know that. I’m aware of it. I know that he could practically give me the world but it’s wrong if he does.” Eun Jae’s voice was raising and it was beginning to crack. Ji Min heard this and slowly gestured for Jaekyung to follow her to the bedroom. As soon as she heard the door close she continued her explanation. “I had a one night stand with Jaejoong. When I met him at that bar I was only a clumsy waitress who was close to losing her job. I went with Jaejoong to his house and offered myself up, only because I wanted to prove what I’ve become. Or what I would have been in that club. I realized how stupid I was. Then suddenly Jaejoong became so obsessed with me over a one night stand? I couldn’t understand why. I don’t know if it’s because of what I said or he just found the amazing, I don’t know.” Eun Jae said and tears were beginning to fall and she began to brush them off.

Han Seul was finally feeling her pain. It was like the air was delivering it to her body and telling her to feel the tension. “If I went with Jaejoong I would seem like a . But mostly because I’ll ruin him.” Eun Jae said and Han Seul sighed. “If it’s his fame you know Jaejoong would not care. He’d defend you-” “He will but that’s not enough. I’ll leave the rest of my life with him with people calling me names, telling me I’m a and a gold digger and that I purposely impregnated myself with Jaejoong and my lovechild and I’d feel guilty. Most especially because I know what my daughter’s future will look like once I accept that life with him. I don’t want her to live a life where she’ll discover or think that she’s a child made out of a one night stand.” Eun Jae said and Han Seul tried to grab her hand but Eun Jae retracted it.

“Eun Jae, one way or another Jaekyung will know.” Han Seul said and Eun Jae nodded her head furiously. “I know she will but I’m not prepared for her to know it yet.” Eun Jae said and Han Seul nodded her head. “Please don’t tell Jaejoong where I live, I’m begging you.” Eun Jae said and Han Seul nodded her head. The door to the bedroom suddenly opened and Jaekyung began to run to Eun Jae showing her the bracelets that belonged to Ji Min. Ji Min leaned by the frame of the door watching the mother take her child onto her lap. “Did you cry eomma?” Jaekyung asked and Eun Jae smiled. “No baby, eomma’s just cold.” Eun Jae said and Jaekyung hugged her. “I’ll hug you to keep you warm.” Jaekyung said and Eun Jae smiled. “Why don’t you go and play with Ji Min okay?” Eun Jae said and Jaekyung nodded her head as she ran off towards Ji Min.

“Since the boys are gone for five months, I was hoping she could stay with me.” Eun Jae said and Han Seul sighed. “I’m sorry but I can’t allow that. Jaejoong would constantly call and it won’t be a normal phone call. He’d want a video call. And Jaekyung was actually asking to see Jaejoong before she suggested seeing you.” Han Seul said and Eun Jae sighed. “But I can take her here during the afternoons for an hour then I’d take her back.” Han Seul said and Eun Jae nodded her head. “That’s alright with me! I just want to see my baby!” Eun Jae said and Han Seul nodded her head.

-

When the boys arrived they got their own rooms and began to unpack their things. Jaejoong simply laid on his bed when the door opened. “Yo, get dressed we’re going around the city.” Yoochun said and Jaejoong groaned. “Hyung I know what you’re going through but please-” “No you don’t. None of you do. So please, leave me the alone!” Jaejoong said as he pushed Yoochun out of his room and slammed the door shut.

“He’s pissed.” Changmin said as they continued to stare at Jaejoong’s closed door. “He’s more than pissed you jackass.” Yoochun said.

CHAPTER 14: NEW

Tiffany kept staring down at her phone. It was exactly 2 hours since her last text message to Jaejoong, and considering this was a text to another country it would rack up her phone bill. “Staring at it won’t make him text you.” Hyoyeon said as she was doing stretches as they waited for the rest. “I keep hoping. Hoping isn’t a bad thing. Besides, he just needs to cool down. Everything has gone too far. I just don’t know what to do and what to make up of it.” Tiffany said and began to play with her fingers. Hyoyeon watched as her friend began to start feeling agitated. She sat down next to Tiffany and placed a hand on her back, gently rubbing it.

“Just give him some space. Jaejoong loves you and I’ve seen it. Just give him some time.” Hyoyeon said and gave her a pat on the back before heading back to her stretches. As much as it felt good, it wasn’t enough to calm Tiffany. She couldn’t see what the future would be like, she didn’t know what would happen. She didn’t know if the fantasy she’s depicted in her mind since she was 12 would come true, or maybe it was just a hoax. “I hope so...” Tiffany said and a tear slid down her eyes.

November 2013

After several controversies between TVXQ and Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu everything settled. The trio sued their company for mistreatments and several other fallacies, and now they were free to be their new group, JYJ. But this definitely did not put a stop to Jaejoong’s relationship with Tiffany, who was still under SM Entertainment. A press conference was held days before the court’s ruling was announced, and there Tiffany said it herself that the companies have agreed not to interfere with their personal relationship, especially since Jaejoong had proposed to her days before he, Yoochun and Junsu sued their former company.

Now, it was only a few days till the wedding and Tiffany had done everything to make sure she would keep herself at ease before her wedding. She didn’t want to have a ceremony where she felt like she would sweat buckets in a very expensive wedding gown.

Tiffany walked over to the elevator and pressed the button for the penthouse floor. As she arrived to the floor she walked a few meters away and rang the doorbell of Jaejoong’s home. She could hear bustling from the other side, a voice of a girl and Jaejoong. The door opened revealing Jaekyung, now ages older and Jaejoong. Jaekyung was already in the second grade, she had advanced in her classes and based on her grades, it wasn’t surprising. She had been living with Jaejoong ever since the lawsuit and she has yet to see Eun Jae.

They were truly living a good life.

“I brought you something!” Tiffany said and lifted a plastic bag that had the McDonald’s logo on it. “Yay! Thank you mama!” Jaekyung said and grabbed the plastic bag from Tiffany before running off. Tiffany placed a hand on the white diamond necklace Jaejoong gave her for her birthday last year. She looked into Jaejoong’s eyes and smiled. Jaejoong pulled her by her waist and gave her a quick kiss. “You sparkle more than that necklace.” Jaejoong said and Tiffany smiled. “Funny.” Tiffany said and pushed him away gently before letting herself in. Jaejoong closed the door behind him and followed her.

“I thought you had activities today.” Jaejoong said and Tiffany smiled. “Well, I wanted to take Jaekyung out. Just me and her.” Tiffany said and Jaejoong smirked. “What are you going to teach her next? She already calls you mama.” Jaejoong joked but Tiffany didn’t find it a joke. She felt offended, it seemed as if Jaejoong made her look like someone who would manipulate Jaejoong’s daughter. The frown on her face panicked Jaejoong, he wasn’t sure what he said wrong.

“I may not be her mother but it was also her choice to call me mama. And as for what you just said, it’s not what you think. I’m trying my best to forge a relationship with your daughter so that when we get married me and her won’t feel awkward with one another. If I enter marriage with you I at least want to assure myself that my family loves me, and in that very family includes Jaekyung.” Tiffany said and Jaejoong just kept his mouth shut, afraid he would say something wrong once again and hurt her.

“Now if you don’t mind I would love to take your daughter to the little kid fair that opened at the park.” Tiffany said and Jaejoong nodded his head. Tiffany plastered a smile on her face, as if nothing happened, and called out Jaekyung’s name sweetly as she ran to the living room to discover her busy playing. Tiffany asked her to get dressed and told her the agenda for that day. Jaekyung felt excited and rushed to her room. Tiffany helped her out with her outfit and walked out of the door, giving Jaejoong a small peck on his cheek.

At the fair grounds were clowns, rides and concessionary stands. Tiffany and Jaekyung were both truly overwhelmed at how everything seemed so appealing. They rode a few rides before trying out some ball games by the stalls and winning prizes. They headed to a hot dog stand and got themselves something delicious to eat while walking. They watched a magic show that was held in a small tent that could hold around a hundred people. They watched as the magician pulled an endless string of handkerchiefs from his hand arm pocket. They saw as he pulled a rabbit out of his hat and let the children who sat at the front pat his head.

Tiffany was seated at the back along with the parents while the children sat by the front on the floor watching the magician. Jaekyung would open give her a look, saying she was having so much fun. After the show they sat by one of the benches and began to take some rest from all the fun that’s been happening. “Can we eat?” Jaekyung asked and Tiffany agreed. They left the park and went to the nearest diner.

They entered the place and took a seat at one of the closest tables. Jaekyung and Tiffany took the menus and looked down at what they would be eating. “This looks delicious. Do you want to share a banana split with me after we eat our meal?” Tiffany asked and Jaekyung smiled at her. When a shadow appeared at Tiffany’s menu that’s her signal that the waitress had arrived. She looked up and her smile quickly faded. The waitress had the same look on her face. Jaekyung looked at Tiffany then at the waitress. “Mommy?”

-

“Jaejoong you should have a bachelor party.” Yoochun said as he was focusing on the game he was playing with Changmin. “He’s right hyung. If there will be food then I want in.” Changmin said and Jaejoong scrunched his nose. He didn’t really like the idea of a bachelor party. To him it was some sort of lame excuse for having strippers or women. “No thanks. I don’t want any strippers entertaining me when I’m about to get married.” Jaejoong said and Yunho came in with a sandwich. “Your bachelor party doesn’t need to have strippers Jaejoong.” Yunho said and as he was about to take a bite Changmin paused the game and took a bite off of the sandwich, earning a look from his hyung.

“Come on Jaejoong, what do you say?” Yoochun asked and Jaejoong wasn’t sure. “No strippers. That’s a promise.” Yunho said and Jaejoong gave in.

-

“Hi Jaekyung...” Eun Jae said as she greeted her daughter who was seated opposite of a woman she knew but has never properly met. “Mama, meet my mommy.” Jaekyung said as she introduced Tiffany to Eun Jae. Mama... She calls her mama... Eun Jae felt something pierce her heart. She has not seen her daughter in years and this was a complete shock. Jaekyung stood up from her seat and hugged Eun Jae by the waist. “I missed you.” Jaekyung said and Eun Jae felt like crying.

Tiffany stood up, her heels made her inches taller than Eun Jae. Tiffany forced a soft smile. “Can you get off work early?” Tiffany asked.

Tiffany and Jaekyung waited for Eun Jae to get off work before they headed to another place to eat. Jaekyung kept talking the entire time, while an awkward aura was stringing along Tiffany and Eun Jae. Tiffany had no problem looking at Eun Jae but Eun Jae tried her best not to give a single look at Tiffany. She didn’t know what to do if they had eye contact like earlier.

“I will go play!” Jaekyung said and before Eun Jae can protest her daughter had left her side. There was an awkward silence between the two despite the noise from all the children by the small playground inside the fast food area.

Eun Jae kept looking up and then to the sides, anywhere but Tiffany’s face. Tiffany cleared and put her hand out across he table. Eun Jae looked at it then at Tiffany. “We haven’t formally met. I’m Tiffany.” Tiffany said and Eun Jae nodded her head and shyly took Tiffany’s well manicured hand into hers. As she touched them she felt more insecure at how soft they had felt even at the lightest touch, it could be felt.

“I’m Eun Jae. I guess you know who I am since you and Jaejoong are engaged. I’m sure he’s talked about me and about our little history.” Eun Jae said and Tiffany let out a small chuckle. “I don’t think there was much of a history considering you two only had a one night stand and for some reason he fell head over heels for you. It’s like some lame fanfiction novel made by his fans.” Tiffany said and laughed. Eun Jae felt offended  at how Tiffany belittled her past with Jaejoong, despite how it was.

Tiffany realized what she had said and immediately placed a hand on . “I’m so sorry!” Tiffany was quick to apologize and Eun Jae felt confused and surprised. “I didn’t mean to belittle it or make such fun out of it!” Tiffany said and Eun Jae gave a soft smile as she was waving her two hands in front of her. “It’s ok it’s nothing and you’re right anyway.” Eun Jae said and Tiffany tried not to comment further.

Once again the two were quiet and Tiffany racked her brain for a conversation. “She’s so grown up...” Eun Jae suddenly said and Tiffany looked at where Eun Jae’s eyes were. She was watching Jaekyung come down the slide and running back up and enjoying herself. Jaekyung saw the two and waved at them. Unsure who she was truly waving at they both returned the wave. Tiffany had felt that it wasn’t for her, but she wanted it to be.

“I know, I was able to help Jaejoong somehow raise her.” Tiffany said, trying to boost her pride. “I’m well aware. I see you take her out and there are photos on the internet. I’m glad to know you two are in good terms, especially since you and Jaejoong are about to get married.” Eun Jae said and Tiffany smiled. “I’m curious about  something Eun Jae...” Tiffany asked and Eun Jae looked at her with her bright eyes.

With that, Tiffany felt something inside of her. Jealous? Envy? She wasn’t sure but for some reason she wanted to make her stop giving her such a look with her crystal like brown eyes. “Does Jaejoong know you really are alive?” Tiffany asked. At the mention of that, Eun Jae felt a guilt wash over her and she looked down at her food.

“No.”

Tiffany watched as a dark shadow pass over Eun Jae’s face. “How come...” Tiffany asked and Eun Jae put on a smile trying to hide the fact that her tears were inches away from falling. “Because his former company had me keep my mouth shut. They paid me a lot of money for it. I won’t deny that fact. And I guess, I stopped seeing Jaekyung for the time. I was afraid that Jaejoong would find out and then it would breach my contract with his former company and they would sue me. It was in fine print that they could.” Jaekyung said and Tiffany nodded her head.

“How much was the offer?” Tiffany asked and Eun Jae felt a bit confused. “I’m sorry if it seemed personal I would just like to know.” Tiffany said, her voice sounding stiff. “Around Forty Thousand Dollars worth.” Eun Jae said and Tiffany smirked and looked away, then back at Eun Jae with a disappointed look on her face. “You traded a life with your daughter and Jaejoong’s happiness for forty thousand dollars worth? Do you know that he grew depressed?” Tiffany said and Eun Jae was overwhelmed.

“I may not have wanted you two to have a relationship but when he found out you died he ran through a depression. At that moment I actually thought he would just automatically leave me. But for some reason he didn’t and later on I found out because I was able to get him through it, because I loved him and he found his way back to loving me.” Tiffany said and Eun Jae wasn’t sure how to answer.

Tiffany opened her wallet and tossed a few bills on the table before getting up. “I’m heading back. We never saw each other and neither did Jaekyung see you. I will make sure she is clear of that. Don’t try to act like the victim.” Tiffany said and walked over to the playground and told Jaekyung that Jaejoong had called for them and they had to leave immediately.

Eun Jae watched as her daughter looked at her wanting to come over but Tiffany kept pulling her. Eun Jae didn’t react. Normal mothers would be running to their daughters side and pushing aside the woman who pretended to be their mother. But she questioned herself when she didn’t. She wondered if she truly was a good mother. If she couldn’t be good to Jaejoong how good could she be as a mother?

She couldn’t consider Jaejoong’s feelings, what more for her own flesh and blood?

-

“You guys are home so early?” Jaejoong said as he welcomed his two favourite ladies inside. Tiffany had a tired smile and Jaekyung’s eyes were droopy. “Someone got really tired! But don’t worry we had plenty of fun. Is it okay if I put her to bed?” Tiffany asked and Jaejoong nodded his head. They headed to his daughter’s well decorated room. Tiffany had helped decorated and most of the decor was her idea. The shade of pastel pink and white covered the entire room. There was a certain female theme to it that made you feel calm once you entered the room.

Tiffany tucked in Jaekyung and she immediately fell asleep without the need of Jaejoong giving her a lullaby or Tiffany reading her. “I can’t wait till I could do this every night..” Tiffany said as she brushed a hand over Jaekyung’s head. Jaejoong admired the way Tiffany was with her. He smiled. Tiffany was a perfect mother. She would give all the love that Jaekyung needed from a mother. At the thought of it, Jaejoong suddenly thought about Eun Jae and his smiled faded.

Tiffany got up and turned, discovering Jaejoong’s dazed face. She approached him and hugged his waist, placing a hand on his cheek. “What’s the matter?” Tiffany asked as she kissed the tip of his nose. “It’s nothing. I just got dazed.” Jaejoong said and hugged her back. He kissed the top of her forehead and looked at his daughter. “You’re so good with her...” Jaejoong said and Tiffany smiled as she buried her face on Jaejoong’s chest, taking in his scent. “I know. I’m glad.” Tiffany said.

-

Eun Jae dropped her things inside her small studio apartment. She wiped away the tears on the sleeve of her uniform before heading to the sink and washing her face. Her eyes had already become puffy. She had spent the rest of the night crying at the park, and crying on the walk all the way back home. As soon as Tiffany hailed a cab and drove away with Jaekyung Eun Jae’s tears fell and she sat there in tears for 30 minutes before she was approached by an employee asking if she needed assistance.

Instead of answering the employee she grabbed her bag and immediately dashed out of the place leaving the money and not taking the change. She walked to the other end of the park where the event did not reach and cried to herself as mothers and fathers were taking their children in and out and smiles were on the faces of complete and happy families.

Eun Jae questioned her life and her decisions, especially the one about giving birth to her daughter and staying far away from Jaejoong. Maybe if she had gave in and tried to approach the love Jaejoong was giving off maybe she would live a decent life. But she knew that Jaejoong’s love was infatuation and not real love. But she wasn’t sure if it was real love and not infatuation. What she knew at that time was that she couldn’t risk anything. That she couldn’t let herself just simply take the risk and possibly lose whatever she could in the end.

So here she was now, a low life waitress who worked an 8 hour shift in a diner with crappy pay and living in a small studio apartment which smelled of dead rats and cat poop. She approached the corner of the room and by the loose wood panel on the ground she lifted it and looked at the huge amount of cash tied into rubber bands. She wanted to give it back, but she couldn’t.

Because even if she did, Jaejoong was still marrying Tiffany and Tiffany was going to be a mother to Jaekyung.

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FINALLY! AS PROMISED AN UPDATE!

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