I know I had said i was not going to update but it didnt seem right. i tried to make it longer but i could only do this, im sorry :(( im just really sick. i hope u guys enjoy anyway! :D

Recap! (Chapter 28)

When a week passed, Eun Jae's condition was still the same. The doctor that was handling her made rounds everyday to chec up on her, mostly upon Jaejoong's request. In which actually felt like a demand. Jaekyung had been staying at Seyoung and Seo Jin's place. Seyoung was always there and telling Jaejoong she was willing to switch shifts with her so he could go home and relax but Jaejoong refused. He stayed within that hospital room, holding her hand and staring at her. His mind surrounded with thoughts of things he had regret and things he wanted to tell Eun Jae. The doctor told him that at times he had to talk to Eun Jae, that she could hear him but Jaejoong felt like a cat got his tongue. He could never say what he wanted to say, and he knew it was because he felt guilty.

In that weekend, Tiffany flew to the US. She met up with her sister but for a brief moment. She felt like she didn't belong and chose to stay at a hotel rather than their actual home. As soon as she stepped out of the plane, she felt all possible negatives just shoot at her body. Her mind began to ramble through the words that she wanted to say when she finally got to talk to her family members. She wasn't sure where exactly she was going to start but she was going to.

After a few more days, everyone was going to gather for her dad's birthday. Her older siblings Leo and Michelle already knew what Tiffany wanted to talk about. Despite the fact that they stopped talking to each other from the day Tiffany left, they knew what she came back for. But for the entire birthday party, Tiffany couldn't find the courage to get everyone to listen to her. She felt like an outsider in a crowd of people that she was related to. She mainly stayed in corners and kept herself busy eating. She made a joke in her mind that her group's trainer was going to be furious at how much weight she'll be gaining.

It wasn't until night fall, when everyone had left, that Tiffany got to sit down with her older siblings and her dad. Everything was quiet for a moment, Tiffany was to begin but she felt so nervous.

"We will get nowhere if you don't start." Michelle said coldly and Tiffany could feel it from across the room. "I know that the decisions I made weren't ones you all approved of. We became so distant when mama left us. I don't blame her, I'm not blaming her. I loved her as much as all of you did but I really need to be blunt when I say that I thought you all hated me when I left." Tiffany said. All of them simply looked at her, their facial expressions stones, as if they didn't care about what she was saying. "I know you all don't approve, I know we aren't as close as we used to be. And-" "So you're blaming us for this?" Leo said and Tiffany sighed and shook her head. "No, what I'm saying is-" "If you only came here to lecture us three and talk about the awkwardness this family has, you might as well get a ticket to go back to Korea." Her dad finally spoke.

Tiffany had never felt so much pain, and it to come from her family? She wanted to give up. No one was listening, no one seemed to care. They were all busy trying to tear her down and ignore what she was trying to say. "I'm not blaming anybody. And before you say anything else I'd appreciate it if you let me finish." Tiffany said, becoming more strict. "I didn't fly miles away, took a leave from my busy career just to get nowhere with you all. I came here because I wanted to mend the broken wires in our family. I know that I had a part in not communicating with either of you. I blame myself I truly do. But you need to also acknowledge your mistakes." Tiffany said and her family was just staring at her as if she was some insane woman.

"If you aren't going to acknowledge it then fine. But I am here so say sorry. I want to move on with my life. I have problems back in Korea and I thought to myself that I need to face them instead of running away. So here I am, starting with you all. I'll be here for another day. If any of you care, you'd make an effort. I made my move, I hope you do the same." Tiffany said as she stood up.

"I felt like I don't belong. I feel like I'm not a member of this family and it . I stood here, on your birthday papa, with being given the chance to greet you but then be ignored for the rest of the day. I stayed in corners because I felt like I didn't belong. I could see all the eyes judging me and questioning who I was. As if I wasn't your child." Tiffany said and walked away.

She wasn't having it. It was too much. She was blamed for the way her family was. She was told she had all the issues and that the family was only struggling because of her. But from the looks of it, they seemed to be fine without her and that hurt her a lot. Tiffany just wasn't having it. She didn't need people in her life who were willing to treat her that way. She said her piece, she could only hope that her family would do the same.

If not, she had to move on.

Chapter 29: Lost

Tiffany sat in her hotel room, waiting. She had been waiting since 5AM, mainly because she couldn’t sleep at all. She was scared that no one would come. She left that house with her head held high, but as soon as she got to the hotel to sleep, she knew that she was not going to come out as a victor. That no one would come.

“They’re not coming Tiffany, you might as well call a cab and head over to the airport or else you’ll miss your flight.” Tiffany told herself. She sighed and sat up, heading towards the phone. “Hello, yes I’d like a cab to the airport please.”

A sudden knock on the door caught Tiffany off guard. “Okay, thank you.” Tiffany said and hung up. She walked over to the door and wanted to check the peep hole but she didn’t have the courage to do so. In her mind she was thinking it was just an employee, but inside her heart she was yearning for it to be a member of her family, to be specific, her father. Tiffany simply opened the door and was surprised to see her father standing on the other end. A rush of tears suddenly flowed and Tiffany wanted to hug her dad, but her body simply flinched.

“Appa, I didn’t expect you to come.” Tiffany said, lingering her eyes elsewhere. She couldn’t get herself to look at her father. He cleared his throat and sighed. “Aren’t you going to let your father in?” Tiffany smiled at what her father had said. Something that smart meant a great deal to her.

-

“Appa, when will mama wake up?” Jaekyung asked and Jaejoong tried to give a smile. “I don’t know sweetheart.” Jaejoong said and kissed the top of her head. Jaekyung had been asking him that question since the day Eun Jae was sent to the hospital. Jaejoong was feeling extremely irritated at the questions about her mother, but he knew there was nothing that he could really do. It was natural for Jaekyung to want to know more answers, and have a bunch of questions.

“Jaekyung, why don’t you come with me downstairs and we’ll buy some ice cream?” Seyoung asked, and as worried as she was, Jaekyung was a child who could not resist ice cream. She hopped off Jaejoong’s lap and walked towards Seyoung. Holding her hand, the two walked out of the room. Seo Jin, Jaejoong’s biological mother, had offered to help out.

“I’m sorry I had to meet her this way.” Seo Jin said as she placed a hand on Eun Jae’s leg. “She looks a lot like Jaekyung. That child looks more like her mother.” Seo Jin said. Jaejoong smiled at his mother’s words. Even with the scars on her face, and her state alone, Eun Jae still looked like the beauty that she was from when Jaejoong had met her.

“Jaejoongie… I want to talk to you.” Seo Jin said, pulling up a chair next to her son. Jaejoong’s attention was still focused on Eun Jae, but his ears were open to his mother’s words. “Why are you here?” Seo Jin asked and this question caught Jaejoong off guard. He looked at his mother, his eyebrows creased in confusion. “What?” was the only response Jaejoong could give. Seo Jin sighed. “Its not an appropriate question but I want to know. Why are you here? Do you even know why you are here?” Seo Jin asked and Jaejoong felt confused but in the back of his mind he knew what his mother was trying to say.

“What are you talking about?” Jaejoong asked, trying to clarify things. “You love Tiffany, you want to marry Tiffany. Yet, here you are. I understand visiting because this is the mother of your child. But you’ve not left since you came. You’ve trapped yourself in this room with her. Your attention has been on her, even when you talk to us your eyes are on her. You cried when you saw her according to Seyoung and I’m sure that more tears have followed. These signs, these are signs of love Jaejoong. Something you would do for Tiffany but… She is not Tiffany.” Seo Jin said.

For a moment, Jaejoong wondered if his mother was trying to let him remember that Tiffany was the one he was going to marry and that Eun Jae was no one. But it wasn’t long till he realized that Seo Jin was actually trying to show him that his feelings for Eun Jae have not changed, that what he felt for her was a dignified sign of love.

That he still loves her.

“I guess I do love her…” Jaejoong whispered as he rubbed his thumb on her hand. Seo Jin was happy to know her son was in love, that he was not alone despite his status. But she couldn’t help but break the joy, because even if she was happy for him, it was not right if Jaejoong was going to leave things with Tiffany that way.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Jaejoong said, the smile faded on his face immediately. “I don’t want to leave things with Tiffany that way. But I don’t know how she’ll take it. She’s in the US right now, from what I know is she’s trying to mend fences with her family there.” Jaejoong explained. Jaejoong swallowed the lump in his throat, one that had not left ever since the issues he had just kept piling up.

“Ma, I know we don’t talk much, but I need you right now.” Jaejoong said, his left hand reaching for his mother’s. Seo Jin smiled, as she handed her hand to her son’s. They held hands and a mother could not ask for more. Things between them was a bit icy, it was hard to keep in contact with the kind of life they lead with the past lingering. But nonetheless, Jaejoong was forgiving and Seo Jin was apologetic. And in the end, she was his mother and he was her son, and Jaejoong knew that she would be there for him.

-

Tiffany and her father were quiet for the first 5 minutes. The air was awkward, and Tiffany knew that if she didn’t say anything, things might not be resolved. But she wasn’t sure how to begin, or where to begin. Despite the nonexistent contact between her and her family, so much has happened on both ends.

At that moment, Tiffany just wanted to tell her father about the wonders that she had done. The awards, the fame, the achievements, all that success. But she knew that if she did that, it would be like rubbing salt on to the wide open wound. She knew that her father wouldn’t consider them as proud achievements. But she was proud of it, but she knew her father thought different.

Her family was, after all, against it. But she went ahead and followed her dream. Leaving the US, starting a different life. It was selfish, and even she knew that. It was not only her family that thought that but Tiffany herself had. She knew that it was selfish and that she should have known better. But it could not be help, with the way that she is and with the way her family was even before the thought of this world of fame, things were already breaking.

She thought that coming to Seoul and reaching her dream would help, that it would be the solution to everything. But it didn’t seem that way with how her father and family reacted. But what was she to do, she felt lost. Ever since her mother’s death, even at that tender age, she was already confused. The path in her life was laid, she simply walked on it.

“I’m sorry…” Tiffany said. Her father simply blinked. He didn’t know what to say. Tiffany didn’t even know why she suddenly spouted out an apology. “Why…” Her father spoke silently, but it was a big strike to Tiffany. “I’m saying it. I know that you should be apologizing but I know apologies on both ends should be given so I might as well start it since I was the one who had left.” Tiffany said as she forced the tears to stop, her hands holding onto her knees as tight as they could.

“I’m sorry. Mama would probably tell me not to apologize for trying to achieve my dream but, you were against it, for your own reasons and I wasn’t for my own.” Tiffany said, her entire body was tense. “Is this supposed to be an apology or you to blame me?” Tiffany’s father said. “It’s not a blame game okay? I didn’t come miles away from a place I considered home just so I can blame you. I came here to actually mend things, to apologize and try to get back the family I missed, the family I want back.” Tiffany said.

She swallowed the lump on , and stood up. “Listen, I don’t know if you came here to apologize or whatever, but I’m here to apologize. Go ahead, tell me I wasted my time and money coming here. I don’t care. All I care about is coming here, seeing you, apologizing, doing my part and wanting my family back and heading to Seoul knowing that I did what I had to do to get you back. Whether you accept the apology, apologize yourself to me too and restart the entire relationship, then… You might as well leave. Because I don’t need this… I’m too tired…” Tiffany said.

She had cracked. She couldn’t handle the pressure. It was enough. She had extended herself to its fullest length, but her family was just not putting any effort. She had enough, she had her own problems. If they weren’t going to even try, Tiffany might as well cut off all ties, head to Seoul and start the family that she yearned for herself.

“Do you really think of us that way?” Tiffany’s father started. “Yes. Because it’s what you show off. I could have not even come here, but I did. Did any of you ever think of going to Seoul and visiting me? Trying to extend yourself to me? Or even a simple email or phone call?” Tiffany said. “You could have done those things…” Her father said, turning his head to the side. “Yes I could have! But I didn’t because it wasn’t proper. Because I’d rather be face to face to receive the apologize or the disgust. And guess what, consider it successfully delivered. I felt the disgust. From my own family nonetheless.” Tiffany said as she crossed her arms.

“We do care for you… Its just not that easy to let things go. What happened may seem to be a small ordeal but it’s still bigger.” Tiffany’s dad said and Tiffany could feel her head spinning. “I’m done. I can’t take this anymore. Tiffany said as she wheeled up her bag towards the door. She opened it and had one foot out and one in. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.” She said.

“I’m over it.”

-

Jaejoong was left that night by himself. Seyoung and Seo Jin went back home, bringing Jaekyung with them to sleep. It took a while to convince Jaekyung to come home with them but it was successful. With that, Jaejoong was given once again time to think about Eun Jae and his life.

Jaejoong tried to recall his conversation with his mother. She was right. He was there as if he was in love. And he was. He still loves her, despite the issues it was not something he could easily deny. It was immediately dawned in his head that if he were to chose Eun Jae, it would destroy Tiffany.

He may not have loved her as much as he does for Eun Jae, but Tiffany was still human. Tiffany was there for everything. She was someone he actually loved, someone he considered to marry, to make his wife and start a family. Doing this to her didn’t seem right. But it wasn’t right either if he chose her knowing how he felt for the two.

He was caught in the middle. There he had the love of his life, and in the other end he had Tiffany who he loved and who was there for him every step of the way. And then there was his daughter. Whom he loved. Whom, despite the missing years, he felt like he was there with her from the beginning. It was amazing how quickly their relationship was built.

It was rare but nonetheless a beautiful depiction of love. How immediate their bond was, how quick the ties were made and how Jaejoong could proudly call her his daughter. Despite the media, Jaekyung was the best thing he could call a success. She was smart and beautiful for her age. She seemed too independent at times, that Jaejoong forgets she was still a child. A child who had more to learn, who was innocent from the controversies yet fully aware.

He knew Jaekyung loved her mother, and that in a heartbeat Jaekyung would pick her over him. Simply because she was her mother and her love was beyond the ends of the earth. Jaejoong wanted to give Jaekyung the greatest gift,

a complete family.

Him, Eun Jae and Jaekyung.

A wonderful picture of a family. Something that would feel normal in the child’s life. Something that needed to be done but was too hard. Jaejoong wanted it too, Jaekyung definitely wants it and somewhere inside Eun Jae’s heart she surely wanted it. But was it really that easy to achieve?

Jaejoong wanted to give his daughter the opportunity to have a complete family. But with everything, he knew it was a far dream. A gift that will never be given. It was long destroyed, from the very moment that Eun Jae had left him that night. And how she never came back.

-

Upon arriving to Seoul, Tiffany wasn’t feeling well. The media flashing their cameras before her wasn’t helping. She shut herself from the media while she was in the US. She didn’t even know Eun Jae was in the hospital.

The entire plane ride back was so uncomfortable despite being part of first class. Tiffany was not feeling it. The entire way home she thought of her conversation with her dad. When she opened that door she was hoping it was an apology, that it meant she had her family back. She thought that maybe if she didn’t resist her body from hugging her dad that maybe the outcome with become different.

But it was too late.

It was obvious he still didn’t care. That her family still wasn’t over it. They just moved on with their lives when Tiffany had left. They didn’t even give a damn. They were too busy living their own lives, building their own accords and leaving Tiffany to fend for herself in a country she knew by heart but was clueless about.

She was brought into the world of media, where her entire life was open. But she was definitely good at hiding how bad it was from the press. To the fans and the media, Tiffany was that perfect girl who was imported from the United States. She was a member of a successful girl group, she had talent and beauty that was the envy of many women. She had a man who loved her and as for her family…

She was perceived to come off from a well off family.

In the beginning they thought that her family had no secrets, that they were perfect. But in a radio show she had revealed her mother’s death from years ago. The world simply gave her sympathy. They felt apologetic and the rest of the members of SNSD were careful to talk about mothers with Tiffany.

But it stopped there. Tiffany only brought up her mother’s true state. As for the real relationship between her and her family.

It was kept in the shadows, everyone thinks that she was living a perfect life, that her family supported her but could not come to Seoul to watch her, because they were busy with work and that Tiffany understood. But it was truly the other way around. They didn’t care and things between Tiffany and them were as sour as can be.

“Tiffany! Tiffany!” the media kept calling out but she had blocked them out from her mind. As she walked the airport and headed for her car, her mind was focused on her father and his words. She just wanted to crawl up in a ball and cry herself for eternity.

As she reached her car, she closed the doors and tried to breathe. She opened her phone and an array of messages were there. One in particular caught her eye, a message from her manager.

Tiffany, why aren’t you answering? I tried calling you in the US but you are blocking me out. You need to check your social media account, are you even aware of what has happened when you left?

She then scrolled down further.

Eun Jae is at the hospital, Jaejoong is there. He has not left, and it’s been days.

The press knows, this isn’t good.