He met her for the first time when he was nine; and she was eight. The adults were having some heated conversations in the living room and Hoya remembered, vividly, the girl standing just outside, playing with rocks with a sad face. Hoya could do many things other than approaching her; his dad just bought him a new video game and his mom a bike, but the gravity seemed persistent to pull him towards that girl, and so he did.

He remembered squatting down, staring at the girl with a pondering look. The voice of yelling could be heard vaguely from inside and Hoya realized the girl’s face fell even more. He blinked with curiosity. Who is this girl? And who are those people inside, arguing with his parents?

Hoya remembered how pretty her eyes seemed when she stared back at him; eyes widened with realization at the boy’s squatting down in front of her. It wasn’t until Hoya made an unsure, unapparent smile did the girl decide to talk, with a soft suppressed voice.

“Uncle doesn’t like me.” she told him.

Hoya remembered how this time his eyes were the one widened in surprise at the information, at the presence of his cousin which he never ever met before. He remembered scanning her with far more curiosity, noticing that her eyes really did look alike with his aunt whose picture he found hidden in his dad’s drawer. He also could remember how he felt the urge to wipe the sadness from that pretty, innocent face and he could hear himself saying.

“If that's so, why don’t you play with me instead?”

_____

Hoya was fifteen when he realized the protective, endearing feeling he had for his cousin, whose name he later found as Jihye, wasn’t that of a cousin’s way. He realized that every Christmas or another festal day where his big family would gather thus gave him a chance to meet her again; he had started to wait impatiently, not for a friend to play with, but rather to a girl he started to grow a fondness to. He started to attend those family gatherings he previously always ditched only for another chance to see those captivating eyes of hers again.

It wasn’t until he was sixteen did he realize that he needed to crush those inappropriate feelings he had for her. Because who wouldn’t be disgusted if they found out he had an improper feeling to someone he should regard as his own sister? What would he do if those eyes he really admired started to look at him, not adoringly, but rather with repugnant and loathe?

What if he ended up hated by her?

He wouldn’t want that.

So the sixteen years old Hoya started to keep his distance, trying to fix the mess he had in his own heart by gaining some space from her. And when Jihye couldn’t read his sign that he wanted to be away, he started to be coarser, more impudent in his act to keep her away. Hoya remembered the pain he felt when those adorable eyes of his loved one fell with pain as she approached him again and he finally snapped.

“Get away from me! I hate you!”

He remembered the adults were shocked by the noise he created and her dad quickly took her away from him, giving Hoya a displeased look. But what he remembered the most was how her pained eyes quickly turned to a sad one when she finally looked away, clinging to her dad.

And that was when they really started to grow apart.

Hoya never saw Jihye again until it was nearing the end of the second year of high school, and Jihye was only a junior. He remembered his mom crying while his dad making a rigid face. It was from his housemaid did he hear the news.

Her dad had passed away.

Hoya gave a final glance to his mom who was still trying to get her hard-headed husband to attend the funeral before sneaking away and drove to her house, driving his motorcycle in full speed, still in his uniform. The funeral seemed quiet, almost empty. Hoya’s eyes were quick to find her, sitting with a stiff face alone in her funeral clothes. She gazed at him with a flat, cold, expression and Hoya almost flinched. She seemed really different from what he had remembered.

He didn’t say any word and went straight to give his last homage in front of a big picture of her dad. Jihye sat still all the while and kept her eyes on her laps until Hoya approached her and asked, softly.

“Where is aunt?”

He remembered that was the first time he saw a trace of emotion in Jihye’s face. Her lips trembled a little when she answered.

“She is in the room, now. She fainted.” she said. Hoya simply nodded and took a spot beside her, where his aunt supposed to be. Jihye gave him a surprised, unsure expression, and Hoya remembered himself patting her back gently, giving as many strength he could give. A drop of tears escaped her eyes and Hoya kept his face in front, pretending he didn’t see. He noticed her voice trembling when her neighbors came to pay their condolences, and Hoya kept his expression straight, pretending he didn’t notice.

And he sat there all day, until Jihye fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. Hoya let out a heavy sigh, carrying her gently to her bedroom before leaving quietly.

Only several days after, he heard the news of her aunt admitted to a mental hospital.

The fights following the news were frequent, but the decision remained. His dad would not let Jihye live with him in his own house; wasn’t willing to see that face which resembles the man he hated so much every day.
Hoya realized that was when he started to despise his dad, and his rebel days began. He ditched school, he fought by a small friction, and he friended the bad ones.

Needless to say, the school decided for him to repeat another year and he was given a strong warning. A lot of tears; a lot of fights again, and his mom made him promise to be a good guy again, to come back to a son she could feel proud of.

He caught his dad’s unapproved look and Hoya almost couldn’t resist a smirk.

And again, his mind wandered to her, wondering if she was alright.

His heart began to ache and he realized how he missed her so much.

_____

Hoya was wrong if he thought that he could get away from her shadows. Proven; a new student was appointed to his room and Hoya could only stare, with a hateful look, on the face that resembles her so much. He remembered himself stomping out of the room, away from that troubling guy who could only remind him of a love that should have already been a past.

And he remembered his conscious almost scattered into pieces when he witnessed, with his very own eyes, the guy turned into the sweetest drug he had tried to avoid so hard.

_____

“You should sleep here, though. Or could you pick me up tomorrow real early?” Jihye asked him, hesitated. Hoya scanned her living room ignorantly. He had never realized that he would be in that state; that he would chat with her in her own house and stared into those eyes.

“I could sleep here.” he shrugged before started to find a comfortable space to sleep.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” he heard her opposed the idea, sounded bewildered. “You can sleep in the bedroom with me. But I get the bed.” Hoya saw her grinning casually, heading to find the blanket for his layer. Hoya could feel the growing heat in his body and he wanted to scream in frustration, wanted to smack himself for having that kind of reaction to her.

“You are the one being ridiculous.” Hoya frowned, his voice rather husked. “I sleep here. End of discussion.”

“Don’t be that stiff.” she laughed, taking the blanket towards the bedroom; but Hoya stopped her first, grabbing her hand which was about to pull the handle.

“Give me that blanket.” he demanded; his voice deep and firm. “I sleep outside, okay?” he added, this time with a much softer voice. Hoya made a satisfied smile when she nodded timidly, and without another word started to set the blanket on the couch.

“What’s the matter anyway? We are cousins.” she murmured, feeling a bit offended by his firm rejection. Hoya got his hands off the bed, and stared at her deeply. She just wouldn’t understand, would she? How much effect she has on me; how dangerous I am to her right now.

“Later, Jihye. Maybe later.” he answered softly.

I promise, he thought. I will stop these feelings soon, starting to regard you merely as my sister soon. And then we could be together again, reminiscing that happy childhood we had again.

 “Don’t bother.” he saw Jihye roll her eyes. “It’s not like I beg to sleep in the same room with you. Jeez.”

And he smiled at that adorable face, staring once again at those eyes he admired so much.

His feelings hadn’t changed.

But it will, naturally, Hoya thought as he gazed at her; his eyes warmed with affection.

Yeah, later. Maybe later.

First side story! Idk about you, but I have to say this chapter is my fav from the whole story. LOL. Sorry Kai and Sehun. I wonder whose story I would post next~

Thank you for reading and for those who subscribed and voted! And I love~ comments! xD