39 ♥ Heartless
Hearts are Made to be Broken
♥ Eunye ♥
I can feel that I'm on a comfortable bed. My head aches and I still refuse to open my eyes. I rub my temple with closed eyes, hoping that it will ease away my headache.
What time is it? Where am I? What do I need to do? Why does my head ache? What happened before I slept?
Ah, right, I was in a night club, spending my birthday alone. I drank a few glasses and I remember someone called my name. Was I imagining things or someone actually looked after me?
I open my eyes and close them again when my eyes meet the bright lamp. It takes a while before I decide to take a good look of my surrounding and notice that I'm not in my room.
"Eunye?" a voice calls my name. He approaches me and a smile forms on his lips, "Good morning. Do you feel better now?"
"Sunggyu...," I murmur his name slowly, still not used with the brightness yet. "What time is it? Why aren't you with Hoya and the others? Wh-"
"Stop talking so much when you just woke up, will you," he laughs, ruffling my hair lightly so he will not make my headache worse. "I think they will be fine without us today. Besides how can we leave you alone?"
He straightens his body and hands me a glass of water, "Let's return to your room so you can take a shower."
I finally realize that I'm actually in his room instead of mine. He helps me to stand up and walk to my room. He tells me that he will wait for me downstairs because I need to eat something.
Everything is blurry when I try to remember what happened last night. I just hope that I don't do anything stupid. It's a good thing that Woohyun's birthday gift for me is still in my pocket.
After I clean myself, I go to meet Sunggyu who is waiting for me in the dining room. He has prepared a plate of omelette for my breakfast, waiting with his phone in hand.
"Is Woohyun at the meeting for the vocal competition?" I ask Sunggyu as I take a bite of the omelette. I still haven't said thank you to him, have I?
Sunggyu nods and props his chin on palm, "You're pretty much drunk yesterday. You're lucky that I found you at the right time before you fainted. After all why were you in a night club once again, Eunye?"
I stop my movement and glance at him with embarrassment. I don't have an exact answer for that question. I just felt like I wanted to be alone and I think he will not believe that kind of excuse.
"I...," I put down the spoon but land my gaze on the food. There is something I want to ask him for the past few days but I hold it inside since I want to respect his request for two weeks...
...but I think I need to talk with him now.
"Sunggyu, do you know now that you're actually not in love with me?"
~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~
♥ Sunggyu ♥
Both Hoya and Woohyun actually insisted to stay until Eunye woke this morning but since both of them needed to attend their own schedules, I assured them they didn't need to worry because I would stay with her.
Ever since the short conversation I had with Woohyun before I slept, I came with a conclusion that Woohyun has made his own decision regarding his feeling towards Eunye.
And so did I.
While I was waiting for Eunye to wake up, I continued what I was doing yesterday. I accessed the private blog I once wrote on with Bora two years ago.
To my surprise, I found fifteen new blog posts in the blog. Bora wrote one post every month after we broke up and I never knew about it because I never opened it anymore, afraid that the memories would hurt me if I read her writings again.
The blog posts were short but every post began with the same question: "Are you doing fine, Sunggyu?"
She wrote about what she was doing every month and a post caught my attention immediately because she wrote it on my birthday.
"Are you doing fine, Sunggyu?
How is States? I'm sure your vocal is really good now.
It's almost summer time here, your favorite season.
Today is your birthday and I can't help but to bake your favorite cake even though I must eat it alone.
Happy birthday, Sunggyu.
Maybe you'll never read this post but, please remember, I love you.
With love,
Bora."
I was confused when I read all the posts. I meant, she was the one who broke up with me then why did she say that she still loved me? Why did she keep writing on this blog?
I found the answer on the last post she wrote around one month ago.
"Are you doing fine, Sunggyu?
Looks like you're doing really good. Hoya told me that you work in Eungeum now and I'm really happy to hear that.
I saw you yesterday when you're with Choi Eunye? Are you with her now?
I'd be lying if I say I was happy at the scene of you together. I want to be her, to stand next to you, to be the reason of your smile.
But it's impossible, right?
I'm sorry for breaking your heart.
I broke mine too.
I just don't want to be your burden when you want to achieve your dream.
If I tell you I still love you, will you believe me, Sunggyu?"
I held my breath after I finished reading the last sentence.
All this time... Bora still loved me?
~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~
"Sunggyu, do you know now that you're actually not in love with me?" Eunye asks me all of a sudden. She looks up, "You don't need to wait for another week, you know."
I clench my fists under the table. After I read Bora's blog posts, doubt is ripping me from inside. My feeling is a mess and I have no idea what I must do now.
I can't get Bora out off my head. I really want to see her now, to ask her in person whether if she is serious or not, to find out if her feeling is still the same before I left to States.
Does she still love me?
"I was heartless...," Eunye makes an awkward smile, "...once. You're the reason I wanted to break guys' heart."
This girl is really honest.
"But...," a sincere smile forms on her lips now, "...you're also the reason I changed, Sunggyu. You taught me that love is not a one-sided feeling."
I look at her and realize that her smile actually reminds me of Bora. My eyes widen when I finally realize that it's not Eunye who I always see all these times. She actually reminds me of Bora in her own way.
Or maybe I just wished that she was Bora from the start.
"I'm not the one who can make you happy. You are my first love but that's that," Eunye chuckles. "We need to move on, don't we?"
"Well," I clear my throat nervously, "have you decided where your heart wants then?"
She falls into silence and looks away. She drops her gaze reluctantly and speaks out her thought, "I don't want to be a heartless person anymore."
__________
Author's Note:
I guess it's obvious now that one person is already out of the list? ;)
A decision must be taken and I've made mine.
How about you?
Tell me about your thought! ^^
__________
Author's Note:
I guess it's obvious now that one person is already out of the list? ;)
A decision must be taken and I've made mine.
How about you?
Tell me about your thought! ^^
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