1/7/18

XxLittleKittyXx

Tainted

By LuvKookieTae

Not to sound very harsh and evil, but the introduction did not really grab me as much as I hoped it too. However, I know that Jungkook somehow crash and lands into another realm with different creatures- but how did he do so? Where did the planet come from? What is the backstory about it? I'm just really confused how this exactly happened. Besides the confusion of the introduction- I did like the way everything was displayed. Everything is very well layed out, and I enjoyed the colorful background and poster you presented to me. It all flowed and matched together!

The basic summary of this story is very straight foreword, from the way you described it in your intro. Jungook awoken in a totally different world, and he stumbles across different people that he encounters. Like I mentioned above, however, I'd like to know how exactly the world came about (What year this is, how everyone else got there, etc). I know it may be hard to do since it is a one shot- but I feel like you could possible do a amazing full story about this! I do like however; your unqiue way of how you came up with the idea of a totally differnet realm and world. It is very creative, and I like the different creaters and powers. You should highlight the backstory of it though.

Sadly, many people do use this title for their stories. There is: "Tainted Heart, Tainted World, Etc'. I think you may want to add something else to the end, to give it it's own flavor of a title. That is just my suggestion- however. You do not have to; but it is a very common name and I do not want to see it drowned out by other stories with the similiar name. However, the world they are in is somewhat tainted- like you presented the story to be. I like the flow of the name - and it highlights that everyone in that world is tainted and has imperfections. Along the lines of the title, I like the way you did the text and font. It wasn't hard to read the introduction and what the story was about; even though I mentioned I could not tell. I have mentioned before to my little dreamers (requesters), that I am near sighted. So it was not hard at all to read the story- it was very easy to see!

I must say, I really did enjoy the presentation of this story very much! The poster and the background evened each other out, and it wasn't to 'bam' in my face kind of feel! I enjoyed the way you did that. It wasn't a blur and mess of colors as well; it was very amazing. The colors was very vibrant like the story, and matched whole heartedly. Some people don't really have the background match, but you did! It wasn't hard to look at, nor in my face. It was just right. The only thing I mentioned before, try and make the introduction a little bit longer; don't be afraid to give more insight- even if it may cause a little bit of spoilers! The text and font was at the right size as well, not straining at all.

I wish there was more then