The Forest Of The Fallen- Author: DeadRose
Light Livid Dreams: A Review Shop (Open) (Batch 2~)INTRODUCTION: 0/4
I indeed do like this introduction, but however, you shouldn't rush so quickly into it. I understand that they are different division's of the Kindgom's spread out, but why? How did the Kindgom's come about? What was the motive? I do like the flow and suspense you have going on for the introduction. It's short and sweet, and has alot of question's lingering there. It is very eerie as well give's a good feeling that matches the entire story as well. Do not be afraid to stretch out the introduction, maybe exposing more of the hatred between two kingdom's and then the treaty and the forming of the agreement? I like how you also expose a new idea of a story, I haven't seen many kindgom stories such as your's before, it's new and foreign to me. It gives bloom to your creativity.
BASIC SUMMARY: 5/5
I am very very impressed on how you kept with the plot and summary of the story. You didn't stray away, go off topic, or anything like that at all. You did a good job in the beginning explaining what the story was about. Even though there was gaps and holes in the summary, you still didn't leave me entirely in the dark. You was pretty clear on where the kindgom's was, so I wasn't lost on what kindgom Kim Kibum lead, or which Lee Taemin did as well. When the story began, I also was aware of the condition's they was in, which was explained and flowed well together in the story. You did an excellent job exposing the personalities and conditions which was in the summary/ layout of your story, how they was kidnapped. You didn't rush into anything drastically, you allowed the summary to talk for the chapters.
TITLE ORIGINALITY: 10/10
Your story title is very orginial. Yes, there's also multiple stories with the word 'Fallen' in it, but you give it more meaning. Even though many people use this as a ttitle, it highlights that the kindgom they are in is indeed fallen for sure. They have fallen mentally and phsyically, and so much is going on in the story. There is also more then one reason the title fits. I'm glad you also spiced it up as well, you made it very well planned out. Another title wouldn't have grasped the concept of them being captivated and kidnapped. The struggles all of the character's face makes it more noticeable that they have fallen from freedom as well. It also matches your poster and has the same eerie feeling to it, as well as an good attention grabber.
NEATNESS OF STORY/ PRESENTATION: 0/5
I only gave you half of the presentation because it is pretty neat. At the same time, like I mentioned before, your introduction was fairly short. I wish I could have seen more and had more information in it as well. I still didn't have a few question's answered. At the same time, the title was very attention grabbbing and made me drawn to it. The poster was also very fitting, as well as it being very well done. It added the main and center focus's, the tower, forest, kindgom and of course the brothers. Even though, you should add different pictures for every chapter, something that gives more of a fulfilling fill. But it is not in your face and to much to read, or observe. It's well done in neatness. No clambered paragraphs and unre
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