I apologize for the lack of updates.

I don't know if this update will make up for it but I really hope it will.

Enjoy!

A/N: i forgot to thank my three new subbies in the last post. so THANK YOU NEW SUBBIES! marissa_kyu, orio-shi and holly_may1122 thanks a lot guys.

Chapter 31: Will It? Will You? Will I?

Even though Miyoung was somehow dreading the call from Jinki, she just couldn’t help but check her phone every other minute.

It was half-past eleven and still no call from Jinki.

15 minutes to 12, Miyoung decided that Jinki had forgotten about his promise to call her and got ready for bed.

As she climbed back into bed after her nightly routine, her phone rang.

Miyoung hastily grabbed her phone which was on her night stand and answered it.

“Hello?” Miyoung said and quickly regretted it. She seemed so desperate despite her trying to be cool about the whole thing.

“Did I wake you?” Jinki asked ever so softly.

“No,” Miyoung answered, again regretting it. Jinki must’ve thought she’d been waiting for his call all night.

“You feel like taking a walk with me?” Jinki asked. There was cautious in his voice.

“At this hour?” Miyoung asked back bewildered.

“Yes? I’m just outside your house,” Jinki chuckled.

Miyoung climbed off her bed again and got to her window. She opened them wide and looked to the right. True enough, she saw Jinki stood there by the gates.

“Hi,” Jinki waved at her. Miyoung awkwardly raised her hand.

“I’ll be down in a minute?” Miyoung said and closed her window.

She ended the call and looked herself at the vanity mirror. Presentable, she said to herself as she smoothed down her hair.

She grabbed her hoodie, put them on and slipped her shoes on.

Miyoung quietly got out of her room and tiptoed down the stairs straight to the front doors. She unlocked the bolt ever so quietly. When the door made a crack sound, Miyoung quickly looked behind her, scared that the noise woke someone up. But luckily it didn’t as there were no sounds came from neither Jonghyun’s nor Mrs. Kim’s room. Miyoung let out a sigh of relief (even that was cautiously done) and stepped out of her house. She locked the door behind her and finally greeted Jinki.

“Did you just sneak out of your house thru the front door?” Jinki asked with a playful smile.

Miyoung rolled her eyes saying, “I had to. You know how Jonghyun feels about this”.

“Yeah,” Jinki nodded as he touched his plastered nose. It wasn’t bleeding but Miyoung could still see the crust of dried blood around the rims of his nose and the skin around the top area had turned purplish in color.

“Did you get that check?” Miyoung asked, sympathetic look on her face.

“Yup but it’s nothing to worry about,” Jinki shrugged dismissively. “Shall we?” He asked indicating to a parked car few feet behind them.

“I thought we are going for a walk?” Miyoung frowned but walked towards it nonetheless. It belonged to Jinki’s mom.

“Well, I had to drive us there first,” Jinki said opening the door to the passenger sit for her.

After 20 to 30 minutes ride (with a lot of comfortable silent along the way), they finally arrived at Jinki’s choice of place to have a walk; the Central Park. The park was situated in the middle of the city hence the name. It was an ideal place to take a walk for a couple.

But Miyoung and Jinki were not a couple.

Jinki ran out from the driver side and got to Miyoung’s side to open the door for her. Miyoung made a face at his cliché-ness. Jinki only laughed.

“Jinki, I’m in my pjs. How am I supposed to go out like this?” Miyoung urgently whispered.

“But no one is around. And besides, it’s dark. No one will be focusing on what you are wearing,” Jinki tried to reason. Miyoung contemplated for a moment before agreeing to Jinki’s theories and stepped out of the car.

A cold breeze blew towards them and Miyoung zipped her hoodie up and buried her hands in its pockets.

“I should’ve put on thicker clothes,” Miyoung complained as she glared at Jinki. He just chuckled.

“I know. I’m sorry. Didn’t think it’d be this cold tonight,” Jinki said burying his hand in his jeans pockets.

So handsome, Miyoung thought. Jinki was wearing a slipped on army-green hoodie, jeans and a pair of converse. So simple, yet so handsome. Well, to Miyoung at least.

Miyoung turned away just as Jinki turned his head towards her.

“Let’s go,” he said and Miyoung nodded and together they walked into the park.

“There are a lot of people tonight. What’s the occasion?” Miyoung looked all around and saw a lot of people. A lot of couples.

“I have no idea. I chose this place because I thought it’d be quieter,” Jinki shrugged and looked around all those people too.

They continued to walk the path in silent after that. The silent was ok. It was only when they had to pass a couple that they turned awkward.

They even had to walk pass a couple making out on the bench.

“Is it valentine day?” Miyoung finally asked out of annoyance.

“I thought of the same thing!” Jinki laughed and Miyoung laughed too.

“There had to be some kind of explanation as to why this is happening when we’re- ” Miyoung’s sentence trailed off when she almost blurted out ‘we’re not a couple anymore’.

“When we’re what?” Jinki asked walking sideways, as he maintained his focus at Miyoung.

“Nothing,” Miyoung said clearing . “Do you thing she sell hot cocoa?”

Jinki followed Miyoung’s gaze and saw an ahjumma pushing a small cart.

“Probably,” he replied. He followed Miyoung’s footsteps as she already made her way towards the cart.

“Do you have hot cocoa, ahjumma?” Jinki heard her asked sweetly. The ahjumma smiled back and nodded. “Two please”

“I hope the other one’s for me,” Jinki chuckled as he stood next to her giving a smile to the ahjumma, who was preparing the drinks.

“Of course. Do you have spare change? I didn’t bring my wallet,” Miyoung was pulled out her hand in front of Jinki for the money.

“Wow. No shame,” Jinki was surprised at Miyoung’s boldness asking for money like that from him but he pulled out his spare dollars from his back pocket anyway.

Miyoung almost said that’s what boyfriends are for until she caught herself and said thank you instead. Miyoung fake a sweet smile as she took the money from Jinki before passing it to the ahjumma.

Jinki took the Styrofoam cups containing their ordered drinks from the ahjumma, passed one of them to Miyoung while he slowly took a sip of hot cocoa from his cup. Miyoung did the same with hers. Suddenly the atmosphere became awkward.

When they were together, Miyoung always said something like ‘what boyfriends are for’ whenever she boldly ask something from Jinki or ask him to do something for her.

Jinki could almost hear it in his ear but she said ‘thank you’ instead.

They continued their walk, deeper into the park, sipping their hot cocoa.

The place was a little deserted towards the center. Miyoung suggested they sat on one of the benches as she was getting tired to continue walking.

“How was Jonghyun?” Jinki asked making Miyoung snorted.

“Why are you asking about him? the guy punch you in the face just a few hours ago,” Miyoung wrapped one arm around her while the other still holding her cup steady on her knee.

“I’m over it,” Jinki chuckled.

“Well, if you really wanted to know, he’s grounded,” Miyoung said.

“What is he? Twelve?” Jinki was laughing when he heard the word grounded. So, Miyoung explained to him what happened at home.

“He deserves it. It was uncalled for,” Miyoung finished. Jinki just nodded.

“I always thought about how Jonghyun really react if someone ever messed you up. I never imagine that that someone would be me,” Jinki said holding his cup with both hands.

“I really am sorry,” Miyoung whispered.

“Nah. I guess, things just are,” He quietly said with his head bowed.

“Do you think we’d ever be like before?” Jinki asked.

They had been silent for a while. Both were too engrossed at their own thoughts; too scared to start a conversation because they didn’t want the atmosphere to become more awkward than it already was.

“What do you mean?” Miyoung turned to Jinki’s direction, forehead creased.

Jinki had his head bowed down, “you know, will we ever be the same as before?”

Miyoung let out a little laugh. She finished her drink before tossing the cup into the nearby bin.

“Goal!” she mockingly cheered.

Seconds later, noticing how serious Jinki was about the question, Miyoung cleared and composed herself.

“You know nothing would be the same, again. Not after what happened,” Miyoung shrugged.

Jinki didn’t respond right away. He lifted up his head and turned towards Miyoung.

“So, you don’t want things to go back as it was?” he asked.

Miyoung had to smile. Is he trying to go back with her?

Miyoung looked away from him and shook her head.

“Why not? We were fine before,” his voice was soft.

Miyoung agreed silently in her head but had Jinki forgotten what she had done? How things were fine but Miyoung had to ruin it by cheating on him? Did Jinki really wanted to back to that time? Did Jinki wanted to be heartbroken, again?

“Don’t you want to be with me again?” Jinki timidly asked.

“Of course I do,” Miyoung whispered.

“Then?” Jinki insisted.

Miyoung let out a sigh of defeat and looked at him straight in the eye, “Do you want me to break your heart again?”

“No but – ” Jinki said but Miyoung cut him off.

“Then I don’t want to be with you again. I can’t promise you that I won’t break your heart,” Miyoung said standing up. “Let’s go home. It’s getting late”

“Why did you always do that?” there was frustration in his voice.

“Do what?” Miyoung turned back.

“That; always wanted to walk away when we’re in the middle of something. I really want to talk about this. Let’s not just leave this conversation here,” Jinki was using his strict tone again and it got Miyoung rooted to the ground.

“Ok, then talk,” Miyoung crossed her arms on her chest looking everywhere else but at Jinki.

“Ok. What do you mean you can’t promise me that you won’t break my heart? Do you have somebody else in your heart now?” there was cautious in Jinki’s voice like he was secretly praying that Miyoung would say ‘No’.

Miyoung snorted, “No. It’s just; I don’t trust myself, ok? I’ve cheated on you once. Who’s to say that I won’t do it again?”

Jinki nodded with his lips parted into an ‘O’. “But you’re not thinking of doing it again, do you?”

“Of course not! What do you take me for?” Miyoung got annoyed and her voice raised an octave.

“Then what is the problem?” Jinki asked exasperatedly.

“Because I’m scared! I’m scared that I would be stupid and lose you again. I won’t go thru that again. I refused to!” Miyoung shouted at Jinki without her meaning to.

Jinki was taken aback by her outburst. When he got back to his senses, she had turned around and walk away from him.

“Miyoung, wait,” Jinki ran after her. When he caught up with her, he gently pulled her arm and made her face him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she turned her face away but Jinki was persistent. He touched her face and made her look at him.

“But I want to talk about it,” Jinki caressed her face to calm her down. Jinki knew her that well.

“What if I told you that you won’t lose me?” He asked.

“Don’t say that,” Miyoung pulled his hand away from her face but Jinki kept hold of her hand instead.

“just, what if? Hmm?” Jinki kept on asking searching her face for any kind of sign that she wanted to be with him again, just as he wanted to be with her.

Of course Miyoung wanted to be with Jinki again. More than anything in the world. She wanted to be that perfect girlfriend she didn’t get the chance to be when they were together.

Miyoung looked up and met his eyes. All Miyoung could see in them was sincerity and determination. Miyoung wanted so much to say ‘Ok’ but she couldn’t.

“Everything seems so fast. I don’t want to rush into things and regret it,” Miyoung finally said. She looked away when she saw the disappointment in Jinki’s eyes.

“Ok,” Jinki said nodding his head.

“I’m sorry,” Miyoung bowed her head, scared that she had made a wrong decision and really lose Jinki now.

“It’s ok. I’ll just wait then,” Jinki was still holding on to her hand so that kinda made Miyoung a little, secure.

She just nodded and tried to pull her hand away from his grasp but Jinki tighten his grip. “Jinki?” Miyoung was confused not understanding his action.

“Is it ok if we hold hands for awhile? I kinda miss this,” Jinki said as he led the way back to where they came from.

Miyoung turned crimson, unable to say a single word. She just followed his footsteps.

They had not decided on anything yet, but this felt good. Miyoung really liked this feeling.

The End

))))

The End??

I can't believe it either!!

hehe will post an epilogue on the next post.

it'd be too cruel to end it like this, don't you think?

see you in the next post. xD

. . .