I rushed to my room without speaking a word to my mother. I was silently crying thinking about what might have been. I’m such a fool to let him go but this is all I could do to help. Everything would be okay, eventually. He would be okay. I would be okay.

There is a reason behind everything what I have said. It kills me not to tell him. To protect his future and his family, I should do this.

***

The night before…

“Soon Geum…”

“Lee Shin oppa…”

“I think you know already why I asked you out…”

“Yes.”

“I am not asking you to break up with him.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“If you would stay beside him, you know the consequences.”

“I know.”

“Are you still planning--?”

“I don’t know.”

“If you would let him be and follow Abeoji’s commands, he would have a good future ahead.”

“I know.”

“Are you ready to fight for him?”

“I am… but…”

“But?”

“Thank you for enlightening me. I know now what I should do.”

“Soon Geum!”

***

I cried myself to sleep. My whole body aches. My eyes are red. I don’t want this to happen. Everything that had happened was only dream. Everything would be alright. I know it will be.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

“Yopeoseyo?”

“Soon Geum!!”

“Shinhye? Why did you call?”

“You are not going to believe this!”

“What?”

“Jaejin and Meeyon---“

“I know.”

“You know?”

“We are done.”

“What do you mean?”

“I broke---“ Tears suddenly flowed.

“Oh my, Soon Geum! I’ll go there!”

I was sobbing. This is real. Everything is real. I was crying so hard that I didn’t even hear my mother rushing to my room.

“My Soon Geum… No. Don’t worry. Everything would be okay. Stop crying my baby…” She hugged me tightly.

“Eomma!”

“Soon Geum, everything happens for a reason.”

“The reason is that I am a coward. I don’t know how to fight.”

“But if surrendering is the right thing to do, then you are not a coward. You just did what you think is right.”

“But I might regret this…”

“But if you still did the right thing, there would be no reason for you to regret it.”

“I love him so much.”

“As I did with your father…”

“Daddy?”

“I know what you are going through my dear. I have experienced letting go of someone I know that I would love until I die. I don’t regret letting him go because I have you.”

“You know you did the right thing?”

“I did the right thing…” My mother’s eyes were gloomy.

***

It has been a long time since I last saw him. Everything was almost back to normal. School has already started and I am already taking my thesis. I would be graduating in a year and would be going back to America. I didn’t have any news about him, his family and his engagement.

School was still as boring as I expected. Everything was back to how it was when I was in first year. I don’t know but everything seems to be dull. I was with Shinhye during lunch break.

“Soon Geum, I have to tell you something.”

“What?”

“Minhwan and I…”

“What about you guys? Don’t tell me you broke up?” I was joking.

“No!! We are getting…” She showed her hands and there was a sparkling diamond in her hand.

“Oh my! Congratulations!!!” I hugged her. I was happy for her.

“Thank you… But I have this thing…”

“What?”

“Jae---“

“Don’t worry about him! I’ll be fine! Want me to bring someone with me?”

“Eh?! Are you seeing someone new?”

“NO!”

“Who are you going to bring?”

“I was just joking! Okay?”

“Okay.”

“When is the wedding?”

“Next month?”

“Next month?! Why so sudden? Don’t tell me you are pregnant?”

“NO! I am not. Minhwan’s parents want us to get married soon.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Strange.”

“Are you sure you are going to be okay with Jaejin around?”

“Of course. I moved on already.”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Okay.”

I am okay. I will be okay. If I would see him, I would act naturally.