Tiffany did specifically mention how Taeyeon shouldn’t contact her if she didn’t contact first and at that time, she meant it only because she was driven by emotions, similarly like how every consultation with Taeyeon ended up before. It’s been a week and no news received from Taeyeon so far which should have been understood by Tiffany, only if she wasn’t a self-centre and selfish person.

The plan to visit another psychiatrist crossed her mind several times and yet she never once preceded with her plan, thinking that there’s no guarantee whoever that psychiatrist would be, would be better than Taeyeon. Besides, wanted to admit it or not, Taeyeon was right at some points; should she visit another psychiatrist, it meant she had to retell the story right from the beginning. Even at the thought itself, it had already made Tiffany felt exhausted. 

Life must go on or that’s what people usually said no matter how worst their life had turned if fate decided to turn their life upside down that their wishes couldn’t be fulfilled and that’s applied with Tiffany’s life as well; only, Tiffany didn’t have much excitement of even wills to continue her life differently. She still had to accompany her father to the hospital with the endless preaching he would convey to her during their journey in the car. She still had lunatic and dense friends who cared about nothing but status and wealth and lastly, she still had to continue her study no matter how much she loathed it.

“Are you excited to meet my friend, Tiff? Because my friend is as nervous as hell right now! She kept on texting me, saying how she was thrilled when you said yes to have a date with her!” Uee said while slicing down her chunk of meat called steak.

“Should I? I just said yes out of courtesy and because you kept on mentioning how it’d be different to date a woman instead of man.” Tiffany nonchalantly replied. She had a bowl of Greek salad on her table.

“I know you are and I am so thankful for that. But I assure you, she is a good person, enchanted, y, charming, and of course rich too.” Uee bragged about this friend of hers further.

“If it’s true, why don’t you date her instead? Why did you push her to have a date with me?” Tiffany shrugged, totally uninterested for this date if she could be honest but since she needed something or someone to distract her from her daily troubles, she thought that maybe this could avert her attention albeit only for a bit.

‘Taeyeon did say I didn’t need a boyfriend to have fun because I can always have fun with my friends and here I am trying to explore having a girlfriend instead.’ Tiffany said mentally. She didn’t know why she had the obligation to prove that no matter how great Taeyeon was as a psychiatrist, there’s still possibility that she could be wrong too at times.

“Eww.. I have treated her as best friend for the longest time, as long as I can remember. We are like childhood friends so there’s no way it wouldn’t feel awkward if I dated her. I am sure Nicole would think the same if you asked her the same question.” Uee chuckled as a response and yes, Nicole was the person that Tiffany would have a date with.

“There is no guarantee I would want to have the second date with her, Uee. I hope you have relayed that message to her. She just happens to be the person I have experiment with and if things go South, there’s no way I would want to see her again.” Tiffany assertively said to her friend. She slipped in the hints too that the only reason why she said yes to Nicole wasn’t because she was Uee’s friend but because she wanted to have experiment and nothing more than that.

“No worries, Tiff. I have reminded her literally every single time I replied her message; that there’s only a tiny glimmering hope you would want to meet her the second time.” Uee smiled although deep inside, she wasn’t sure it’s the best decision to match Tiffany with her friend. But then again, it’s not like Uee hadn’t warned her though so it’s not her fault if thing would end badly later.

“Good. Tell her to just meet me in the restaurant and don’t even try to bring a bucket of roses or chocolates or anything that would attract people’s attention. I hate that.” Tiffany added, eyes were smouldering and staring at Uee closely; like she meant business.

“Y-yes, of course. I’ll be sure to tell her that.” Right at that second, Uee was completely sure that it was a very bad idea to arrange the date between Tiffany and her best friend. She could only hope Nicole could come home intact at the very least.

---

The date with Nicole finally occurred and Uee did a great job in conveying the message to her best friend because Nicole didn’t bring anything fancy or anything at all, for real. Tiffany tried to be polite at the very least and responding to the person sitting across her when required. She offered a small smile when Nicole tried to initiate some jokes and answered when the latter asked her general questions like her hobbies and what she usually did in her spared time. At the end of the date, Nicole just knew there’s no way she could have the second date with Tiffany. Heck, she even said no when Nicole offered to drive her home. Tiffany just waved at her nonchalantly and reasoned out that she’d be picked up by her chauffeur.

“Ugh.. It’s so tiring tonight. But at least, Uee is right at some points; women have better attitudes and more sensitive than men. She didn’t look at my or anything where my skin is exposed during the whole date.” Tiffany talked to no one. She was inside her bedroom anyway where there’s no one but her inside.

“Too bad I am not interested in dating anyone at the moment and that’s all because of that damn psychiatrist! Ugh! She didn’t even try contacting me after I have left so abruptly before!” Tiffany threw her purse to the bed.

Undoubtedly, she had no idea that professional psychiatrist must never force her services to the clients; when the clients had decided in their right minds that they no longer needed the psychiatrist’s services then it meant it’s over between them, unless it had been accentuated before that the clients wanted to stay friends. However what Tiffany had said to Taeyeon at the end of the consultation was totally the opposite. No wonder Taeyeon hadn’t contacted her, no?

“Whom should I share with about my date tonight then? My friends would only ask me how it went and pretend to care at the end; they would probably say it’s fine to date a woman and that they would always support me no matter what.” Tiffany sighed, already knew how their friends would react.

“It’s not my fault that Nicole is not really my type but then again, I don’t really know my type. The only true love I had betrayed me at the end. There’s no way I would want to experience that again.” Tiffany thought to herself; Gears inside her brain automatically turned to her bitter past which better be forgotten by her.

One of the reasons why she didn’t want to continue meeting Nicole was she didn’t want to be judged; she knew most of people might praise her right to her face but then again, she too realized how they were nothing but trashy flatterers when in fact they talked about bad things behind her, like how she gained gorgeous men’s attentions unconditionally and how she was called because she got their idols as her boyfriends while all they could do was drooling and wishing that Tiffany was them instead.

Judgmental was one of the common traits automatically installed inside people’s brains and that’s including her of course. She was used of being judged unfairly but she couldn’t say she didn’t hate it because in fact, she despised being judged. So far, only Taeyeon that was being fair and had some guts to confront her about what the older woman thought of her; that she could have fun being single was one of the examples that Taeyeon had bravely said directly to her face.

“And that damn Kim Taeyeon hasn’t even contacted me once! How dare her!” Tiffany was fuming in anger with that fact. No one in their right minds would defy Tiffany, not even Kim Taeyeon, supposedly though.

“Or should I really try meeting a new psychiatrist? Surely Seoul is a big city with lots of great psychiatrists, right? But I have to tell her / him my story from the beginning and there’s no assurance their methods would work with me or my preference.” Tiffany scrunched her face, wincing at the thoughts of same archaic methods to be experimented toward her which would only make her have more headache and problems more than she already had with her now.

“Why did I even choose her name in the first place, huh!? Pabo Tiffany!” Tiffany clasped her face with one of her hand. She resigned from the topic for now and decided to have along shower first then maybe she would have a clearer mind by then.

Tiffany had finished her shower and did the rituals she always did prior to sleeping; applying night cream, massaging her face for a minute to tighten her facial muscles, pouring some hair tonic and vitamins, etc. And yet, her mind hadn’t been clearer like she had planned before.

The week she had experienced wasn’t that exciting but having a date with a woman made it slightly fascinating; not that she loved it but at least there’s something different with her daily habits within the week. Her phone which was plugged before had a full battery now and her hand was itchy to type a message to Taeyeon, about how she went to a date with woman but her pride wouldn’t let her proceed with her plan.

“Taeyeon would be so damn proud and arrogant if I contacted her first and surely I wouldn’t want that.” Tiffany muttered to herself. She had worn her sleeping gown and more than ready for sleep and yet as usual, her eyes wouldn’t cooperate and thus she stayed awake until now.

“I don’t need her in my life. The consultations with her never ended up well and besides, it couldn’t resolve or at least reduce my problems too.” Tiffany said in her defensive mode; blaming Taeyeon for not doing a decent job during their time spent together before.

“But.. I never told personal things about me to her. What I said only trivial irrelevant things in my life. It’s not really my fault though. She didn’t try to ask further about me..” Tiffany couldn’t continue her statement since she too acknowledged how Taeyeon had actually tried asking further questions to her which she always replied with sassy and y remarks like how she strictly told Taeyeon to shut up until she herself felt the need to ask for Taeyeon’s advice.

“She asked me about things I am sensitive about. It’s a huge mistake she did which I responded terribly. I wished to have a better mood after the consultation but it always the opposite.” Tiffany remembered how she had browsed it beforehand how a patient normally would feel better and lightened after the consultation with psychiatrist and yet it didn’t happen to her.

“She often pressed the wrong buttons and for unknown reasons, I always got provoked badly by her supposedly simple question.” Tiffany massaged her temple, feeling dizzier than before.

“She always has the wrong words to say at the worst timing and she dares to call herself a professional psychiatrist.” Tiffany mumbled. She locked her phone back, aborting the plan to contact Taeyeon just like she did for the past nights.

“I better go to sleep. The more I stay awake, the more my head aches. Now where is my sleeping pill?” Tiffany opened the drawer of the night side table beside her bed and swallowed the pill.

“It’s all Taeyeon’s fault and I think I got traumatic of psychiatrist now no thanks to her.” Tiffany said before the sleeping pill played its role and dragged her toward her unconscious state.

---

“Where are you going, Tiff?” Hyomin who had the same class with her just now asked as she was collecting her belongings and put it inside her purse.

“I am going for groceries, Hyo. I ran out of strawberries and you know how big my love is for that specific fruit.” Tiffany lied

“Don’t you have maids to do that for you?” Hyomin asked again, observing Tiffany who looked like she was in a hurry.

“Well, the last time she did that; the fruit quality is pathetic and even its colour was enough to make me puke. Anyway, tell the girls I will meet them tonight at usual bar, okay!” Tiffany dashed to the exit door before Hyomin got another chance to reply.

Honestly, Tiffany didn’t need to go anywhere urgently. She only needed to purchase the sleeping pills illegally in her usual medicine store which of course, she didn’t need to bluntly confess it to her friends that she needed sleeping pills often to help her sleep. She also didn’t feel like being around her friends much today. Besides, she would meet them again few hours from now so at the moment, she thought it’d be better to be alone.

She drove to the medicine store with her favourite expensive car and parked not far from the main entrance. The medicine store was located precisely beside another building allocated for a usual hangout place where the workers from nearby buildings would spend their time working outside or having casual meals there. Tiffany bought what she needed and threw it inside her purse. She was walking back to her car when a person called her name.

“Tiffany! Hey, what are you doing here?” It was the person she didn’t want to see and yet she needed to see her immediately; yes, Kim Taeyeon.

“None of your business.” Tiffany indifferently replied and continued walking forward.

“Wait! Are you still angry at me? I mean, I have said sorry before and I hope you would contact me when your anger has subsided down but it didn’t happen.” Taeyeon warmly smiled at the younger woman.

“Why didn’t you contact me first? Why must I do it every time?” Tiffany quipped, giving a flat expression to Taeyeon.

“I wanted to but I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t? Did you purposely erase my number and our chat history?” Tiffany said too loud that there were people staring at them now. Without question, they must have thought they currently had quarrel between lovers.

“Do you have time now? Can we go somewhere to talk and maybe have cakes or anything?” Taeyeon was being cautious and she surely didn’t want to be the centre of attention.

“The last time we sit together and talked, I left you because of how annoying you were.” Tiffany frowned, shaking her head as disagreement. She knew it’s a chance to brag about her dating experience with another woman but her pride wouldn’t bow down so she of course sided to her ego and told Taeyeon a firm no.

“This would be different, I promise. I want to talk as friends, not as a psychiatrist and her client.” Taeyeon returned the angry stare of Tiffany with her calm and warmed one.

“And since when we have become friends? I don’t remember I have a friend like you.” Tiffany had a stoic expression, undeterred about her decision not to talk with Taeyeon.

“Really? I thought we could talk like decent adults do but maybe not. Okay then, have a nice day for you!” Taeyeon sighed, turning her body around when suddenly Tiffany was already standing in front of her.

“What do you mean by that?”

“By what?”

“Did you just say I am not an adult for rejecting your request just now?!” Tiffany asked in disbelief. Her expression was anything but happy.

“I didn’t assume that way but-“

“Fine, let’s talk! And hopefully this would be the last time we talk.” Tiffany stomped her feet emotionally and walked in front of Taeyeon with the older woman tailing behind her. Tiffany didn’t think twice and just chose the hangout place beside the medicine store. Little did she know that Taeyeon did say that purposely; Taeyeon knew the way to make Tiffany agreed was by telling otherwise; passive aggressive mode.

Taeyeon made the orders by queueing while she let Tiffany chose the table she was interested on. Taeyeon walked back to where Tiffany was at with iced Americano for the younger woman and iced chocolate for her. She also had ordered blueberry cheesecake for Tiffany and vanilla one for her which would be delivered later by the waiter.

“So, how are you? I haven’t heard anything from you for the past week.” Taeyeon started the conversation lightly.

“Nothing much. Just usual.” Tiffany shortly said. Taeyeon sighed, it’s just like what she predicted would happen when she met Tiffany again after that night. She decided to just come clean and throw the kind hospitality courtesy or whatever it was out the window.

“I will be totally honest with you, alright? We have several consultations before and it didn’t go well. If I can be earnest, I am not yet giving up on you and I still want to help you, Tiffany. And no, it’s not related with your abundant money or your social status.” Taeyeon sat up and gazed at Tiffany in her most serious expression.

“Oh come on, stop lying to my face Taeyeon.” Tiffany scoffed, mocking Taeyeon. A psychiatrist could live her life by generating money from her clients so there’s no way she would buy Taeyeon’s reason when she said she wasn’t interested with Tiffany’s money.

“It’s up to you whether you want to believe it or not, Tiffany. I just feel the need to say this. If you’re interested, we can continue where we left off or you can just walk away and pretend that you never had consultations with me.” Taeyeon’s expression remained the same despite of how her pride had been hurt a bit with the mockery made by the younger woman. She could be rich or whatever but it didn’t mean everyone’s attention and care could be converted into money.

“Good that we share same thoughts then because I don’t think I ever want to see your face again.” Tiffany replied almost immediately that she didn’t let Taeyeon’s words sunk in first before she could decide anything.

“I still think you need a person whom you can share your thoughts freely with and I’d be glad if I can be that person. Then again, it’s all up to you.” Taeyeon sliced her cake and slowly stabbed it with the fork, bringing it to .

“Which friends would talk about me needing a psychiatrist and consultation?” Tiffany ridiculed. She didn’t like how Taeyeon’s words had affected her in ways she couldn’t describe. She wanted to argue back but with what? Taeyeon was however right no matter how much she didn’t want to admit it.

“I don’t talk as your psychiatrist now, Tiffany. If I were, I wouldn’t dare to say those words to you. I advise you as a friend who cares about you.” Taeyeon chuckled. She was amused at herself for not getting the sassy hurtful remarks back as the reply from Tiffany.

“Care? You barely know me and we are not even friends from the beginning. Why the hell would you care about me and what I am doing?! Wait.. You feel attracted with my physical appearance, right? I should have known.” Tiffany underestimated Taeyeon’s good intentions and the older woman could only sigh; what had she expected from Tiffany anyway?

“I care about each and every patient I have and that includes you too. Appearance opinion is subjective and I never judge someone from their physical values. Like I have said, I would like to develop our connection to be friends, if you agree of course.” Taeyeon maintained her composure well. She had come prepared this time and if Tiffany was still stubborn by then, maybe.. just maybe it’s already time for Taeyeon to throw the white flag and give up for real.

“What will you gain in return?” Tiffany tried to use her logic more, putting her emotions aside for a while. She was being cautious and careful; she had trust issues and she hadn’t known Taeyeon enough to evaluate her and her hidden agendas.

“Befriending you is more than enough for me. I want to know you better and it’s obvious I cannot do that when you’re being my client before.” Taeyeon answered straight to the point; no additional unneeded remarks which made Tiffany wondered whether Taeyeon was being honest or not. The fact that Tiffany reconsidered the offer was already something.

“Why would I want to befriend someone who is way older than me and also is my ex-psychiatrist?” Tiffany kept asking why; trying to figure out the real reasons why Taeyeon was being too kind and at the same time, suspicious.

“Way older can also mean more matured in terms of thinking, making decisions, providing solutions, and much more. I can help you, as a friend this time. Nevertheless, like I have said; it’s up to you but if you accept my offer, I want to have a date with you.” Taeyeon smiled genuinely and yet each and every word mentioned was not a joke matter.

“A date?! Are you out of your mind or what?!” Tiffany was mortified; shocked was an understatement when hearing Taeyeon’s thoughtless and ridiculous request.

“What? Can’t friends have date together? It’s called friendly date.” Taeyeon reasoned out. She drank her drink which had been abandoned for some time now.

“I never have a date with a woman friend.” Tiffany knitted her eyebrows, expressing her disagreement with Taeyeon’s reason just now. Yes, she might have a date with woman but Nicole wasn’t her friend, Uee was.

“Maybe it’s time for you to have one? I promise it’s only a casual date between friends.” Taeyeon wanted to continue when her phone rang.

“I am sorry but I have to go now. You have my number. Let me know if you change your mind.” Taeyeon apologized and excused herself properly. She grabbed her drink with her and left the remaining cake on its small plate placed on the table.

“And she even had the guts to leave first now.” Tiffany clicked her tongue, disliking that she was at the receiving end place now. No one walked away from Tiffany Hwang, yet the woman didn’t intentionally do it and this much, Tiffany knew it. Tiffany finished her cake before leaving since she didn’t really have urgency to meet anyone or do anything now.

---

It took Tiffany exactly three full days and sleepless nights until Tiffany had come to a decision that maybe it’d be okay to say yes to Taeyeon’s offer. First, it wouldn’t cost her anything since it’s a date between friends and secondly, she had a distraction from her casual boring life she always had and lastly which she actually didn’t want to admit was, she’s kind of curious to have a date with Taeyeon. It’s only friendly date yes, she had made a note inside her brain but she just wanted to compare it with a date with Nicole she had. Which one would be better? Tiffany thought to herself.

Tiffany texted Taeyeon within the fourth day, saying that she maybe would have time that evening which was replied by the older woman that she could either pick her up or meet at the meeting point. Tiffany of course said she would just be driven by her loyal chauffeur and Taeyeon sent the address of the meeting point.

“Where is that restaurant?” Tiffany groaned frustratingly. She never heard about the name of ramen restaurant before and she wasn’t even sure she had visited this place; maybe she had passed it but there’s no way she had spent time here; walking aimlessly under the bridge where she couldn’t spend her money on.

“Mam, I think this is the place.” The chauffeur informed her and she gagged in response, of course couldn’t see by him since she was inside her limo where the dark window played as the partition between her and him.

“Are you sure?” Tiffany spoke through the connecting microphone.

“Yes, Mam. But if you aren’t so sure, please contact your friend to ask her the name of the restaurant again.” Of course her driver wasn’t certain too since she never was brought to a humble place like this. And so she did as she was advised; calling Taeyeon to ascertain that it was indeed the place. When the woman confirmed, she sighed loudly; regretting her action to say yes to Taeyeon’s offer.

“I think it’s indeed here. I will call you when I am done.” Tiffany got out from the car and walked to the restaurant. Good thing she wore a beige long-sleeves shirt and tight dark jeans or she would be overdressed should she wear her expensive dresses kept inside her walk-in cupboard.

Tiffany entered the small yet almost packed restaurant and her eyes explored automatically to find the culprit that had forced her, well figuratively to come here. A hand waved on the air, drawing her attention and there she was; Kim ing Taeyeon with a black coat and white top underneath. When she was not in her business attire, she looked much younger; but of course Taeyeon didn’t need to know that.

“Why do you bring me here?! Are you for real?” Tiffany gritted her teeth, trying to keep her voice down. It’d be shameful to gain attentions from mere humble common humans like them.

“Why not? The ramen here is beyond good and I have to be here early to save the table. Come and sit with me before anyone thinks your seat is vacant.” Taeyeon cheerfully replied. She called the waiter and told the woman to serve what she had ordered earlier.

“I am sorry I have made an order for you but I assure, it’s the best-selling menu.” Taeyeon chuckled when Tiffany was still having an annoyed mood. She was rich and her family was anything but impoverished but here she was, sitting with commoners much to her liking.

“I know you what you may think about this place but the food is amazing, Tiffany! Yes, the place is pretty small and it’s very crowded almost all the time but it only means two things, right? That it’s affordable and it tastes great.” Taeyeon explained, already understood the judgemental stare coming from Tiffany.

“I will be out of here immediately if what you said is proven to be wrong.” Tiffany could sense the subtle innuendo from Taeyeon whether the woman did it deliberately or not but she would ignore it for now. Her stomach asked to be filled so she had no better choice but to stay and hope the food was indeed decent.

“While waiting for the food, let me introduce myself more properly. My name is Kim Taeyeon and I am 31 years old this year, international age I mean. I have been working as a psychiatrist for over 6 years and basically it’s not my passion but I have learnt to love my job as years gone by. I have a pet in my apartment and I named him Zero. My hobbies are gaming and watching when I have spared time. I am allergic to nuts and I love eating bananas.” Taeyeon told general information to Tiffany, didn’t forget to end the statements with a smile.

“What are you doing?” Tiffany eyed her suspiciously. What the hell was this woman just did? Did she even ask her about her info?! No! And did she think that Tiffany was an HRD Supervisor that was currently interviewing her for a vacancy? Absolutely no!

“It’s normal that friends know each other’s general information. I have told you a bit about myself so now it’s your turn. Tell me the basic information about yourself.” Taeyeon beckoned the younger woman to do what she did, gently of course.

“NO WAY! That is stupid and I don’t want to do it!” Tiffany strongly declined the instructions. No one could order her around, well except her family though.

“It may sound stupid but do your friends know your general information, Tiffany? Do they know about your real hobbies and what food you dislike? I am sure they do, right and since I want to be your friend too; can’t I learn more about you?” Taeyeon’s question was supposedly to be harmless but somehow, it succeeded caused turmoil inside Tiffany’s heart.

‘How far do my friends know about me? Do they know that I hate fish because its eyes are scary? Or how I really love having a glass of coffee every morning? I don’t think they do.’ Tiffany said mentally. How sad the situation she was in; hanging around with friends who would be willing to kiss her shoes if she asked to just because they regarded Tiffany as their leader and nothing more. And so reluctantly, the younger woman finally responded.

“My name is Tiffany Hwang. I am 21 years old this year, international age as well. I study economy management third year and I hate eating fish. I have fun when I have spared time, mostly doing things where I can spend my money on.” Tiffany informed more shortly compared to what Taeyeon had told her.

“Now, isn’t that easy to do that? We have acknowledged general information about each other and we will know more as time goes by.” Taeyeon smiled in relief when Tiffany decided to spare a bit of info about herself. Not long after, the food came along with cold ocha as their drinks.

“Uhmm.. Try this! Ramen always tastes the best after the rain! I love how the cook makes the broth very savoury and full of flavours!” Taeyeon commented as she was drinking the ramen soup with the spoon.

Tiffany was cynical since she had tasted the most expensive ramen that had ever been made so how could this cheap ramen taste better, right? Tiffany hesitantly grabbed her own spoon and scoped only little broth onto her spoon. She tried tasting it using the tip or her tongue and when she smacked her lips, her eyes lit up because she just found out that Taeyeon didn’t lie. Damn, it was indeed tasty!

“It’s good, isn’t it? Cheap doesn’t always mean horrible taste.” Taeyeon grinned. Tiffany’s expression was more than enough to describe how Tiffany’s judgement about the ramen.

“I am just hungry. I haven’t eaten since lunch.” Tiffany mumbled, didn’t want to admit the truth.

“I was brought here once by my friend, Sunny and I cannot move on since then. Sunny is a fellow friend of mine that is also works as a psychiatrist. We have been best friends since we’re still studying together back in college. There are also Hyoyeon and Yoona but they study international relations. Whenever I have time, I shall meet them to hang out and just update each other about how we’ve been doing.” Taeyeon did the most talk right now. She had tried this method before, where she would be the one to tell the story first and eventually, when Tiffany’s mood was pretty decent, then the younger woman would tell things about herself too.

“We also often hang out to watch movie together in my apartment or Sunny’s or if not, we would casually sit down in a café with good vibes talking about everything to nothing. I share the same hobbies with Sunny; we both love games, especially mobile gaming but Sunny is crazier than me. She doesn’t hesitate to spend money just so her name could be on the top rank list.” Taeyeon observed Tiffany while talking. Her ability sensed that Tiffany paid attention to her story although she acted nonchalant about it. At least, she kept her phone inside her purse so far.

“Hyoyeon loves dancing that she even has a mini dancing studio back in her apartment while Yoona loves cooking, especially sweet things like cookies, cakes, and such. That’s why her kitchen is the most extravagant area in her apartment.” Taeyeon chuckled remembering her friends.

“Sunny likes drinking alcohol that she has built a custom cabinet to store her liquor. I like drinking too occasionally, when I am with them or when I am involved in events that require me to drink. Compared to them, I am a homebody that they often call me as a home-fairy as my nickname.” Taeyeon’s giggle was amusing and fresh for Tiffany. Of course the younger woman denied it and tried to just maintain her uninterested expressions.

“Enough about me. How about your friends? What do you usually do with them? Yes, I still remember you told me you have 4 girls that you usually hang out with until midnight, going to the club and drinking alcohol. But, do you do that in daily basis? When you’re not in a club, what do you do with them?” Taeyeon was very careful. She glanced up, watching Tiffany closely just in case she burst out suddenly again.

“We do what we want. We go to karaoke, sometimes booking a president suit hotel room so we can have girls’ night out.” Tiffany paused, trying to rack her brain. What else did she usually do besides drinking and dancing? She remembered they didn’t watch movies together and she didn’t know what her friends like or hate since she never considered it as important for her to know anyway.

“I see..” Taeyeon reacted shortly. She had read the gestures; the averting eyes with frowned eyebrows meant Tiffany was thinking hard about what else she often did with her friends. Fingers strumming on the table meant she was anxious and impatient that she couldn’t find the answer of what she was looking for. Those two were enough to make Taeyeon stop chasing further.

“When I am home, especially during weekend, time surely feels like it flies too fast. I have my colouring books so if I got totally bored, I will put colours on it. It takes me more than an hour to complete a section. I also have Zero whom I can play with to spend my time. But mostly, my phone will take most of my free time. Random browsing, watching Youtube and Netflix will surely make my day change into night so fast.” Taeyeon decided to be the main speaker again for the evening.

“What do you do at home, Tiffany? I bet you have a much bigger house than mine and exploring it alone might take an hour if not more, right?” Taeyeon tried to lighten the atmosphere by throwing simple jokes which hopefully wouldn’t be taken as offensive by the latter.

“I rather stay in my room but I like spending my time outside of home better than being at home. It’s boring to stay at home.” Tiffany again only provided a short version of answer which Taeyeon would take gladly. It could be considered as positive progress because they both now could communicate much better. Maybe being friends indeed would suit them better than just being a patient with her psychiatrist.

“I am done here. Can we go home now?” Tiffany put down her chopstick along with the spoon she used before. Taeyeon just realized how she spent time talking while Tiffany was busy eating with half-hearted remarks she received. The ramen once Tiffany insulted was now left as an empty bowl. Yes, Tiffany had finished her meal that she left nothing but the bowl itself.

“Do you need to be somewhere right now? How about if we have a casual walking under the bridge? The lights are beautiful and relaxing.” Taeyeon decided for tonight only, it was alright for her not to finish her ramen no matter how devastated it actually was for her. Heck, she needed to queue only to get a bowl of ramen and now because Tiffany had done eating; it meant Taeyeon had to abandon her remaining ramen. The older woman sighed in defeated manner.

“And why do you think I would want to prolong our useless meeting? First, you gave me a cheap bowl of ramen which hygiene is uncertain-“

“Which you have completely finished and considered as the tastiest ramen you have ever eaten, judging from the empty bowl.” Taeyeon chuckled and interjected before Tiffany could finish talking.

“I have told you that’s because I am hungry! I never said it tastes good.” Tiffany argued, raising her tone a bit. Admission was never an option so no way Tiffany would be honest to say yes, it tasted amazing, precisely just like what Taeyeon said to her beforehand.

“There are many things in life that you haven’t discovered, Tiffany. Not everything can be afforded with money; real friends and rare experiences are ones of those. What we had now is also an example of it. Tasty food doesn’t always have to be expensive.” Taeyeon smiled. Deep down, she was preparing herself if Tiffany again erupted and ran off like she did a couple of times before.

“Did you just mock me, Taeyeon? Because I swear it exactly sounded like a mockery.” Tiffany glared at the older woman, clenching her jaw. Money was a sensitive issue for her. Why? Because only through money she had friends, fans, and anything she wanted to could be resolved with money.

“I did not. I am just saying that maybe if you spend more time with me, you can experience things you haven’t known before. It’s not expensive and the only thing I need is your time.” Taeyeon calmly exclaimed although her heart was already beating rapidly, waiting for the unexpected moments to occur.

“An hour at max.” Tiffany said which caused Taeyeon could finally breathe normally with her heartbeat gradually returned to its’ normal pace.

“Of course.” Taeyeon nodded her head. She paid the bills since as expected, Tiffany only had cards; platinum, black, gold, you named it but like most of wealthy people, she didn’t keep enough cash inside her wallet. Taeyeon stifled a smile when her prediction was right. There’s no way a small resto like this could be paid with card s. Only cash was accepted.

---

“Cheonggyecheon is an 11 km long modern stream that runs through downtown Seoul. Created as part of an urban renewal project, Cheonggyecheon is a restoration of the stream that was once there before during the Joseon Dynasty.” Taeyeon explained as she was walking side by side with Tiffany.

“Personally for me, this area is picturesque and admirable for a stroll. At night, lights are switched on and very colourful, as you can see it yourself. There are many people hanging out here just to enjoy the night and feel relaxed. Couples are walking together hand in hand to have a wonderful date with cheap cost.” Taeyeon continued. She stopped her movements and turned to her side, smiling at the person beside her.

“Many people sit down and have their meals while absorbing the beauty of nights, accentuated by the glimmering and colourful lights, the vast sky decorated with stars above, lights reflections from nearby buildings.” Taeyeon took a deep breath, admiring the view surrounded her. She turned her head to Tiffany who had said nothing so far and yet, her eyes spoke louder than her actions.

“It’s mesmerizing, isn’t it? During Christmas season, the view will look even better. If you have time, we can go here again to see the lanterns and the tall Christmas tree here.” Taeyeon added.

Meanwhile, Tiffany hated to admit it even to herself that by so far, every word coming out from Taeyeon’s mouth was proven to be true. Yes, the ramen gave her splendid sensation to her taste bud despite the price that was considered as insanely cheap for Tiffany and no, she didn’t finish it because she was hungry but because it tasted too good to be true. And now? Well, she loathed herself when her heart agreed that this place was adorable. She didn’t even have to spend a dime to feel relaxed and amazed by the view of lights and many people around. Damn, why must she agree with Kim Taeyeon’s offer in the first place? Then again, she couldn’t say she regretted to come here.

“Shall we sit here? There are no people nearby.” Taeyeon sat down first before Tiffany could respond.

“It’s dirty.” Tiffany commented, still standing.

“It’s fine. Now it’s cleaner.” Taeyeon swept the surface to remove the dust and other tiny dirt her eyes failed to see. Tiffany scoffed but slowly lowered down her body and sat beside Taeyeon. They both were facing the water body by now. The sound of stream was soothing and relaxing for both of women; only one of them didn’t want to say it out loud.

“Do you see the young man standing there? He is throwing coins to the pond. It’s called the wishing well at Palseokdam Pond. It’s quite famous here and I even did that once before.” Taeyeon appointed the standing man not far from where they were sitting.

“It’s stupid to even think that you can have your wish granted just by spending a coin or two. Even rich people sometimes cannot get what they want no matter how much money we have spent.” Tiffany laughed in an insulting manner; degrading the person whom she didn’t know of for the stupidity he had. How could he even think that fate could be reversed by unknown luck when his coin was thrown into the small hole?

“It’s called hope, Tiffany. The only reason why people keep on fighting and try to survive no matter how hard the situations we are in is hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better than today or today is better than yesterday. Hope is what pushes us forward.” Taeyeon stared at the swayed water in front of her.

“So you may call him stupid for believing things can get better just by throwing coins but maybe for him, it’s him proving himself if the coins could enter the hole he could sleep better later but if not, maybe he has to try harder to get what he wanted in life.” Taeyeon craned her neck, smiling at the Tiffany who was emptily staring the man who had withdrew himself from where he was standing and gave another person to try throwing the coins.

“People without hope tend to be susceptible of being suicidal. Of course hope has to walk align with effort.” Taeyeon ended her speech, thinking that she had rambled too much and it might cause the younger woman to feel bored.

“People conduct suicide attempt because they feel useless to continue living and maybe being reincarnated as different person would have a better fate than their current life.” Tiffany let out a long sigh, suddenly being reminded of herself and the kind of life she was living now.

“There is no guarantee that death is better than life. The wheel of life is continuously spinning. Sometimes we are in the upper area but there will come times when we have to stay under but still, nothing is constant about life. The only constant thing in our life is aging; people eventually will get older no matter what but life itself? It keeps changing.” Taeyeon shared her own version about hope and fate.

“Hoping is futile if you don’t have enough room to breathe. People keep on hoping things will be different, will be better in time but it’s not always happening to some people too. At the end of the day, they can only rely on nothing but themselves because fate is not changing and destiny stays constant. The wheel stops spinning while we keep on being pressed beneath on the ground.” Tiffany talked more about herself but she masked it. Being pitied was the last thing Tiffany wanted from Taeyeon after all.

“Then keep on hoping while trying to change the fate differently. You know, the results will stay similar if the efforts aren’t changed. It applies in life too. I have told you how I became a psychiatrist, right? Actually I wanted to be an architect at first. Things happened and by becoming a psychiatrist, I hope I can help people so they won’t end up like my auntie. It was started as hope and it ends as the reality I am living on now.” Taeyeon felt the woman beside her was shivering. The wind blew harder indeed and as a gentlewoman, Taeyeon removed her coat and carefully draped it on Tiffany’s shoulder.

“I don’t need it.”

“Your ego doesn’t but your body does. Wear it for now and I will take it back from you later.” Taeyeon had now realized that there would be times she must not back down and just have a simple debate with Tiffany until the younger woman stopped being stubborn and accepted her advice; just like now for instance.

“Fine but it’s not me who asked for this.” Tiffany had to be the person who had the last words and Taeyeon only nodded her head, agreeing just so they didn’t need to argue further.

“Has fate been kind to you?” The younger woman stayed quiet, refused to answer.

“It hasn’t always been for me too. There are times where I wished things were different but at the end, I accepted my destiny nevertheless; thinking that maybe I could have done better next time and I shall have a better stage of life in the future.” Taeyeon heaved a sigh, remembering her past bitter love story.

“I believed in fate and I hoped a lot when I was younger. My life has been constant so far and eventually, I have lost hope.”      Tiffany slowly muttered. Taeyeon had to bring her face closer so she could hear what the younger woman said.

“And you just stop hoping since then?”

“You can say that.”

“Is your life bearable when you have stopped hoping?” Taeyeon hoped Tiffany’s mood was pretty intact because she was about to go deeper into the conversation. The vibes and surroundings were supporting enough for Taeyeon to do that. Now it depended on Tiffany, whether the woman could reveal more about herself or not.

“I think at some point yes. I have learnt to accept whatever is thrown at me after I have stopped hoping. In the past, it’s hard to swallow down the unexpected things; like you hope today will be sunny and you have planned things you wanted to do with your friends but suddenly the sky went dark and it started raining. Your whatever plan had to be rescheduled or even cancelled.” Tiffany didn’t realize she had started talking longer. Taeyeon had talked much about various things that Tiffany got tempted to say things from her point of views too.

“To have hope is to want an outcome that makes your life better in some way. Envisioning a better future will motivate you to do better in life and want it or not, hope is a part of everyone’s life. By throwing out hopes from life means people will feel dull, unmotivated, and at some points depressed. Acceptance itself is not a weakness but doesn’t mean we surrender ourselves to life filled with no hope.” Taeyeon elaborated from her own experiences during rough times of handling difficult patients who kept trying to attempt suicide in the past.

“Maybe for you but different people share different thoughts and you cannot force me to accept your thoughts and replace my original opinion.” Tiffany dropped the topics as she felt that it linked more to her own life. She didn’t need Taeyeon to know every detail happened in her life because a person did and that person hurt her in the most hideous ways. History repeated after itself was a big NO for her.

“I am sorry.  I don’t mean to offend you.” Taeyeon knew she had touched the sensitive button but where exactly? Taeyeon had a guess it was directly related with Tiffany hoping for things and yet the reality was harsh and far from what she had expected.

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