Warning! Heavy dramas ahead~ Please prepare your tissues and any tears prevention gear / equipment you currently possess :D

Additional advice:

Indonesia readers please listen to Glenn Fredly (Sekali ini saja); Afgan (Bawalah cintaku); Chrisye (Andai aku bisa) International readers please listen whatever sad songs you have in mind :D

Enjoy the story!!

--------------

 

“She is still unconscious but it’s safe to say she’s not in danger state. We detected acute gastritis which must be handled immediately and properly. It’s not deadly but add stress to that and it’d be more deadly than cancer. Meanwhile, please keep on praying for her.” The doctor bowed and excused himself.

 

“What the hell did you do?!” Taeyeon lifelessly sat down on the empty chair in front of the ICU room. She buried her head inside her palms and cried.

 

“ YOU TAEYEON! You don’t have any idea what she has been going through and you suddenly came home to hurt her further, pushing her to the deepest cliff and her; your own wife!!” Jessica almost screamed if she didn’t forget that they were in the hospital. Yes, Taeyeon had told her the truth before, while waiting for doctor to conduct examination and helped her wife inside that scary room.

 

“I am sorry. I am so sorry… I am sorry.” Taeyeon sobbed. Her shoulder was trembling and her voice was shaken.

 

“She never once cheated on you. Heck, I have many times told her to just leave you and propose a divorce paper but she is just too stubbornly in love with you that she always rejected my idea, saying that she wanted to wait until miracle happens and you come back to her embrace. Look where her belief has led her to?!” Jessica was close to yelling but she knew she just couldn’t, not for as long as they were still in the hospital.

 

“She.. she couldn’t say she didn’t cheat on me so I thought..” Taeyeon gulped, face already full of tears.

 

“So you thought she has indeed cheated on you because she couldn’t deny the accusation?! How stupid can you be, Taeyeon?!” Jessica clenched her fist. She had landed a fist on Taeyeon’s fist when the latter informed her what had happened until Tiffany had to be brought to hospital, resulted Taeyeon’s left cheek to become slightly purplish and swollen.

 

“Has it ever crossed her mind that she only wanted to play with your feelings since you have so many times played with hers too? She wanted you to feel one per eight of what she had felt for the past months! And yet you.. you became heartless and her; your own wife, Taeyeon.” Jessica’s voice became weakened. She covered , trying to suppress her tears.

 

“I.. I know and I regretted it a lot, Jessi. I let emotion possessed me and ended up hurting her, not only physically but also mentally. I am a monster. I wanna kill myself if I am allowed to.” Taeyeon hung her head low, too ashamed to even set eyes upon her crying friend.

 

“Come here, Taeyeon-ah. Yes, you were a monster but it’s not the real you. You’re just unable to control your possessiveness and jealousy which show that you’re still very much in love with Tiffany.” Jessica sighed and pulled Taeyeon to her embrace.

 

“I do love her, Jessi. I love her and will continue loving her until the day I die.” Taeyeon followed the pull and buried her head on Jessica’s chest.

 

“I am the worst husband alive. I don’t think I cannot even do anything should she ask for a divorce. I would even give myself up to the police if she wanted to report me for assaulting her and being abusive.” Taeyeon continued crying, wetting Jessica’s blouse.

 

“Tiffany has a heart as white as taintless paper, as soft as snow, as pure as crystal so there’s no way she would do all that. She will forgive you. Maybe it will take a long time but I know she will. She loves you as much you know.” Jessica rubbed Taeyeon’s back.

 

Not long after, the light of the room was off and Taeyeon was allowed to enter Tiffany’s room. However, the smaller woman wasn’t brave enough so she asked Jessica to come in first. After half an hour, the blonde came out, saying that Tiffany had woken up and that she asked Taeyeon to meet her. Taeyeon was hesitated but Jessica encouraged her to enter, saying that Tiffany was okay and ready to talk with her. Jessica understood Taeyeon needed time so she excused herself, promising she would come again first thing in the morning the day after.

 

“Hey you.” Tiffany was sitting up and greeted first.

 

“H-hey.” Taeyeon stuttered.

 

“Come here.” Tiffany tried to smile widely but she couldn’t due to the impact of Taeyeon’s slap earlier. Both of her cheeks were still red and Taeyeon didn’t miss the wound on the corner of Tiffany’s lips.

 

“I.. I am sorry.” Taeyeon stood beside the bed and looked down, wasn’t brave to look at Tiffany in the eyes.

 

“Sit here, Taeyeon-ah.” Tiffany scooted over and tapped the space beside her.

 

“Am I allowed to? Are you sure? You are not afraid?” Taeyeon reluctantly stepped forward, waiting for Tiffany’s answer.

 

“It’s okay. You are my husband. Why should I feel afraid?” Tiffany chuckled a bit. Taeyeon smiled a little and slowly sat beside Tiffany.

 

“I.. I am so- *SLAP*” Taeyeon was shocked when she felt a hard hit landing on her hand when she was about to touch Tiffany’s hand.

 

“I.. I am sorry. I didn’t know why I would do that.” Tiffany’s expression showed that she was also in a shocked state. She gasped with her eyes opened up widely.

 

“It.. it’s fine.” Taeyeon lied and tried to smile just to end up failing. She held her hand closed to her chest.

 

“M-maybe it’s better if I just wait outside.” Taeyeon tried to again smile and now she did it even though her lips were trembling while doing so. Taeyeon felt a tug on her shirt.

 

“Don’t go.” Tiffany said eyes were pleading with Taeyeon not to leave the room.

 

“A-alright. I will just pull a chair over here.” Taeyeon brushed a single tear that appeared on her eyes and walked a bit, drawing the chair near the bed.

 

“How long was I being unconscious?” Tiffany fixed her position. Taeyeon was about to help when she remembered she wasn’t allowed to touch Tiffany, not now at least. She halted and let her hand hanging in the air when she realized that painful fact. She withdrew back her hand and put it on her side.

 

“Uhm.. almost 12 hours I think.” Taeyeon smiled a little, trying to be contented seeing Tiffany from afar. She did this to herself anyway.

 

“I am sorry for making you worried. Have you had dinner? Your clothes look untidy, Taeyeon-ah. You haven’t come home, have you? ” Tiffany smiled, her eyes wandering from Taeyeon’s head to toe. That words alone were enough to make Taeyeon’s pretense and defense crumbled. Her lips were trembling with her shoulder shaking. Tears soon made their way out from her eyes.

 

“Wh-why? Why you didn’t angry at me? Scold me! Scream at my face! Punch me if you could. Wh-why are you like this? You’re worried about my well-being when I am the one who hurt you! I.. I am the one who sent you to hospital and.. and..” Taeyeon buried her head in between her knees. She continued crying and her body was wavering.

 

“Hey~” Taeyeon felt a tap, even only just once. She reluctantly looked up and all she could see is a smiling Tiffany. She felt much guiltier. If only her wife didn’t have a heart as pure as an angel, she wouldn’t feel this guilty.

 

“It’s alright, Taeyeon-ah. You are my husband so what you did was normal. It’s just me who was exaggerated. I am sorry I slapped you.” Tiffany was already pulling her hand back when Taeyeon looked at her.

 

“It’s not your-“

 

“Can we not talk about it? I.. I don’t want to remember the event.” Tiffany looked away, hiding her wet eyes. She closed her eyes, trying to erase the images. Instead, the images became clearer and it made her head ached. She held her head and grimaced.

 

“Fany-ah? Are you okay? Should I call the doctor?!” Taeyeon grew to panic. She stood up and almost reached the emergency button when Tiffany hesitatingly pulled Taeyeon’s sleeve.

 

“No. It’s fine. I just don’t want to be reminded about that bad thing. Can we just move on and pretended nothing happened?” Tiffany asked.

 

“Su-sure.” Taeyeon nodded and went back to her seat.

 

“How are you feeling right now?” Taeyeon diverted to another topic, complying with Tiffany’s request.

 

“My head feels heavy and I slightly feel nauseous but it’s nothing I cannot handle. Aside from that, I think I am okay.” Tiffany answered.

 

Taeyeon was quiet. She didn’t even catch what Tiffany just said to her. Waking up in a hospital gown with her bare face, Taeyeon then realized how her wife had changed drastically. She looked much slimmer. Her face was tapering, her nose looked pointer, her neck bone was smaller that the collarbone was too distinct to Taeyeon’s liking. Taeyeon’s eyes automatically produced more tears while staring at her wife’s condition. She’s the one who did this to Tiffany; she had tortured Tiffany too much that the woman she loved looked much older than her original age.

 

“Tae.”

 

“TAEYEON-AH!” Tiffany called louder after receiving no response from her husband.

 

“Huh?”

 

“What are you thinking of? I was talking to you!” Tiffany pouted and instead of thinking that she was cute, Taeyeon cried even more.

 

“Why are you crying?” Tiffany asked anxiously; being oblivious to her sudden actions.

 

“I am sorry, Fany-ah. What have I done? You are the only person I have loved for real and still love until the day I die. But instead of making you happy, I made you suffer that you.. you’re like this; being hospitalized and abused.” Taeyeon shook her head and hid her head on the bed, shoulder shaking.

 

“Tae.. Taeyeon-ah. Please look at me.” Tiffany called since she couldn’t touch her.

 

“No.. I am too ashamed to do that. I am the worst husband alive. I am so pathetic. I am obsessive. I am sick, Fany-ah. I am-“

 

“I am so in love with you.” Tiffany continued the sentence.

 

“Huh?” Taeyeon wrinkled her eyebrows and stared at Tiffany weirdly.

 

“Maybe all of the traits you mentioned before are right but then again, why would it matter to me? I am still so in love with you despite anything that you’re lack; despite anything that you have done to me. Tiffany explained more clearly.

 

“I swear I never cheated on you, Fany-ah. Yes, I admit I spent my time with Sunmi but never once thought to betray our love crossed my mind. Believe it or not, never once I touched any other woman improperly. The only woman or man I ever slept with after I am married is you.” Taeyeon elaborated, eyes deeply stared right into Tiffany’s eyes.

 

“I believe in you, Taetae. I know you won’t cheat on me although it didn’t change the fact that you often made me feeling lonely on nights when you came home very late. It isn’t only for a week or a month, Tae. Even Seohyun has come back to work and yet you didn’t replace Min Kyung’s position. Isn’t it normal if I think differently? If think that you have stopped loving me..” Tiffany said the last statement softly.

 

“I never once stopped loving you, Fany-ah. Not then, not now, and definitely not until the day I stop breathing. I am sorry for making you think like that. It’s all my fault. I am too selfish and put myself over your needs. I know the only one to blame is me and that I don’t even deserve your love or even forgiveness.” Taeyeon sobbed. She could care less about her pride by now.

 

“I too never once stopped loving you. I am happy that you have realized your mistakes, Taeyeon-ah. There’s nothing to be forgiven, Tae. Let’s leave the past behind us, okay?” Tiffany teared up as well, but the tears she spilled now weren’t the sad tears. Instead, it’s happy tear, knowing that there’s a possibility that her husband would be back to the person she used to know.

 

“C-can I have another chance?” Taeyeon reluctantly asked.

 

“Of course. I will never give you chances, Tae. As long as you still love me, then take all the chances you may need. One time, second time, the umpteenth time. Even if you did cheat on me, I too would still forgive you. I would only let you go when you have stopped loving me. But you haven’t, right?” Tiffany chuckled.

 

“No! Of course not! I never even kissed anyone’s cheek during my marriage with you. You are the only one for me, Fany-ah. And sorry too for accusing that you have cheated on me with Jessica.” Taeyeon expressed albeit embarrassingly.

 

“I understand. You just saw us in the most inappropriate time.” Tiffany smiled, pulling the blanket closer to her chest.

 

“Are you cold?” Tiffany nodded.

 

“Wait, let me set the temperature.” Taeyeon stood up, walking away.

 

“I am glad you have come back to me, Taeyeon-ah. Thank you, God for giving me a second chance to have her in mu embrace.” Tiffany looked to the ceiling above her, mumbling words that could only be heard by herself.

 

“Have you had dinner, Taeyeon-ah? You haven’t answered me earlier.” Tiffany asked again, eyeing her husband.

 

“I am not hungry.”

 

“Doesn’t mean your stomach hasn’t growled, right? You look so messy. You are lacking of sleep. I am sure if I give you bamboo, you would immediately on it.” Tiffany made a joke.

 

“Yaah! I am not a panda!” Taeyeon protested playfully.

 

“You will be one soon. Just go and find something to eat, Tae. I am sure the canteen here is open 24 hours.” Tiffany persuaded.

 

“But-“

 

“Just go. Please? I will be alright. Just buy and have it wrapped. Eat it here while we talk. Okay?” Tiffany cooed.

 

“Okay then.” Taeyeon gave up.

 

“I will be back soon.” Tiffany nodded and waved Taeyeon goodbye.

 

Taeyeon walked through the empty hallway. Her mind was wandering back to her wife. She didn’t know what kindness she had done in her past life that God gave her a wife as perfect as Tiffany. She could even list a million things of goodness that Tiffany had. With a positive determination, she clenched her fist and walked forward. The more step she made, the faster her speed would be. She just couldn’t wait to see her wife back.

 

Taeyeon bought a simple tuna sandwich with milk for her. She didn’t know whether there were certain foods that the doctor forbade Tiffany to consume or not, knowing that her wife has stomach problems. Thus she decided not to buy anything for her wife. She fastened her belt and ran a little toward Tiffany’s room.

 

“Fany-ah I am..” Taeyeon stopped when she laid her eyes on a sleeping Tiffany.

 

“Back.” Taeyeon whispered and walked closer.

 

“I guess you are tired. Sleep well, my wife.” Taeyeon leaned closer and only an inch left from Tiffany’s forehead. She was reluctant, unsure if Tiffany would wake up the moment her lips landed. She frowned and composed herself, finally kissed Tiffany’s forehead very softly.

 

“I love you.” Taeyeon breathed.

---

 

Taeyeon grunted, feeling annoyed for she couldn’t go back to her tempting sleep thanks’ to the noises coming from whoever was inside the room. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She stretched her body, lifting her hands upward, and yawned.

 

“That’s very unattractive.” Taeyeon raised one of her eyebrows and sat up, eyes still closed.

 

“Don’t be rude, Unnie.” Taeyeon frowned deeper. She finally fluttered her eyes open.

 

“Good afternoon, Taeyeon unnie.” It’s Seohyun, her used to be secretary and now has become a supervisor in the procurement division.

 

“Oh. Hey, Seo.” Taeyeon tried to smile. Sleepiness still held her consciousness back.

 

“Wake up already, sleepyhead. It’s almost ten. Your wife has finished her breakfast and even has swallowed her medicine obediently.” It’s Jessica’s voice.

 

“Hey Jess.” Taeyeon yawned one last time and got up.

 

“Morning, Tae.” Tiffany greeted her with a sincerer and brighter smile compared to the night before.

 

“Morning baby.” Taeyeon dragged her body to her wife and leaned down, wanting to kiss Tiffany when she saw Tiffany scooting away, leaning away from Taeyeon.

 

“Uhm.. yeah.. sorry.” Taeyeon backed away embarrassingly. Both of her friends watched curiously, totally oblivious of what’s happening.

 

“And hey to you too. When did the two of you come? I am sorry I woke up late.” Taeyeon awkwardly greeted Jessica and Seohyun.

 

“About an hour ago. Tiff just finished eating when we came.” Jessica answered.

 

“I will go home to take a bath and go back right after. Are you two planning to spend some more hours here? I will bring lunch if you do.” Taeyeon stood beside Tiffany while Jessica and Sunny were standing across Taeyeon.

 

“Please bring us some Chinese food if you don’t mind.” Jessica said.

 

“Of course. I will be back in one and half an hour.”

 

“Baby, do you want me to bring you anything?” Taeyeon turned to Tiffany.

 

“I just need you to be here safely. Drive carefully, babe.” Taeyeon smiled, nodding her head, and finally excused herself and went out of the room.

 

“What’s wrong, Unnie?” Seohyun asked.

 

“Yeah. Why didn’t you let Taeyeon touch you?” Jessica added. Tiffany looked to both of her friends alternately and sighed. She then started to tell the truth behind her behavior toward Taeyeon.

 

“I see.. I can understand your point of view. And yet you’re okay when we’re the one who’s touching you.” Seohyun rubbed Tiffany‘s arm and the latter didn’t even flinch a bit. She was okay with Seohyun touching her. Earlier, Jessica came and hugged her as soon as the blonde landed her eyes on her, and again, she was alright.

 

“It’s normal to be afraid to be touched by the person who you.” Jessica bluntly blurted out.

 

“Hey. Don’t say that.” Seohyun nudged Jessica immediately.

 

“What? She might be her husband and had legal right to make love with Tiffany but it didn’t mean she could force her unbearable lust onto her, right? She wouldn’t even end up being hospitalized and had that severe sickness if that stupid midget didn’t prioritize that unknown kid.” Jessica rolled her eyes, continued talking negatively about Taeyeon.

 

“It’s fine, Seo. Jessi is right in some ways. But it’s not totally her fault. I am partially blamed too. I could always propose a divorce and spared myself from the pain if I wanted to.” Tiffany smiled reassuringly.

 

“Well, then two stupid persons in love with each other. Wow, that’s rare.” Jessica's sarcasm stayed still. Seohyun could only shake her head in disagreement while Tiffany chuckled a bit.

 

“I even lost count how many times I advised her to just leave Taeyeon. Sighed. You have no idea how worried I was, Tiff. Pardon me for punching your husband though. She deserved way more than just a punch right to her face.” Jessica shrugged.

 

“You are ruthless,” Seohyun commented.

 

“I am kind, okay? If not, I would have reported her to the police. I thought how more miserable Tiffany would be if she knew her husband is in jail plus Taeyeon is my friend despite the truth that she’s a jerk.” Jessica replied nonchalantly.

 

“How can you be okay and pretend that everything is alright when she had done these to you? Well, exclude the fact that you cannot be touched by her for the meantime.” Jessica turned to Tiffany.

 

“She is my husband, Jessi. Besides, you have said to yourself that she has every right to make love to me. She wasn’t her real self when she did that to me. She was angry and worse, I made her angrier by saying things that triggered her emotion and well.. You know the rest.” Tiffany pulled the blanket to cover her thighs as she leaned back rested her back on the wall behind her.

 

“To make it easier, Tiffany Unnie loves Taeyeon. That is the most reasonable answer even though it’s still not logical for me. Honestly, if I were in your place, I don’t think I could be as strong as you, Unnie. I would have probably proposed a divorce as soon as I gained my consciousness back.” Seohyun said.

 

“See?? Even our saint Seohyunnie couldn’t take it.” Jessica added.

 

“Thank you for the concerns but I am okay. Somehow, I knew with this event, Taeyeon would change for the better. My Taeyeon would be back and I couldn’t wait longer for that to happen. Too bad I am not healthy enough and not to mention my trauma…” Tiffany sighed.

 

“No need to worry, Tiff. I am sure if Taeyeon indeed is serious to change for the better, she would wait patiently until you have fully recovered, physically and mentally.” Jessica cheered and patted Tiffany’s head.

 

“I hope so.” Tiffany smiled a little.

 

“Good afternoon, ladies. Did I bother you?” The door opened and a man wearing glasses and a white coat came in.

 

“Of course not, Doc.” Tiffany tilted her head and smiled.

 

“Well, then I drop by to check on your condition and update you on the result of our examination conducted last night. Uhmm.. Your partner is not here. Should we wait for her first?” The man’s eyes wandered around and couldn’t find the particular woman she saw last night.

 

“Yeah, my husband is out to get new clothes and lunch for my friends. No need to wait for her, Doc. You can tell me the result and I will inform her when she has arrived later.” Tiffany said.

 

“Are you sure? Because knowing that she is your uhmm.. husband, I need to tell her few important things to be paid attention to regarding your health.” The man asked again to reconfirm.

 

“Yes, I am sure. Even if I forgot to tell her, I am sure my friends here would remember. Right, girls?” Jessica and Seohyun nodded their heads. The man sighed but complied with the requests.

 

“Actually I have told your husband too last night that you have acute gastritis. You need to pay extra attention to the type of foods you will consume. No sour and spicy foods for you for sure. Eat on time without further delay. Most importantly. You must take your medicines properly and avoid stress at all cost.’ The doctor paused, eyeing Tiffany closely to ensure she heard what he said. Then his eyes roamed to her friends and saw the girls too listened carefully.

 

“Your sickness is not deadly but it can be dangerous if you’re not taking it seriously. It can be worse and become gastritis erosive. What does it mean? Stop eating or eat bad foods and perforation would be formed on your gastric organ. You will vomit blood and people could be dead due to blood deficiency. In most cases, the patients wouldn’t be dead simply because they wanted to be cured.”

 

“Add depression to that that it could become the deadliest sickness in the world. I am sure you all know that stress and depression are the main reasons of deadly sickness; cancer, tumor, are triggered by stress and depressions. Therefore, I remind you again; avoid stress. Talk to someone you entrust to reduce the stress and burdens.”

 

“Again, eat healthy food and drink your medicine on time. You will be recovered soon if you do those I advise and avoid those I order.” The man ended his explanation with a smile.

 

“Doc, you’re scaring me.” Jessica huffed.

 

“I am not scaring you. I am just stating what the worst thing that could happen should Ms. Tiffany.. Well, I shouldn’t continue the statement. You want to recover and be healthy again, right?” The man turned to Tiffany.

 

“Of course I want to, Doc. I now have gained my reason back to keep on living.” Tiffany exclaimed confidently.

 

“See? Then you don’t need to worry because the worst thing wouldn’t happen.” The man laughed a bit.

 

“Anyway, how are you feeling today Ms. Tiffany?” The man set the stethoscope and started to conduct a general examination to Tiffany.

 

“You seem fine. Still weak for sure so I am afraid you need to spend few more nights here until your condition is more stable.” The man announced.

 

“It’s okay, Doc. I will tell my husband about it.”

 

“Good. Should there is a further question, you can ask your husband to visit me in my room. Well then, I shall get going. Nice meeting you girls.” The man bowed and went out of the room.

 

“You have heard him, right Unnie? Please take a good care of yourself. Listen to what doctor advised you. He has said that in most cases, the patients weren’t dead, but still it doesn’t mean that your sickness is not severe enough.” Seohyun looked like she was about to cry.

 

“I heard him loud and clear, Seohyun-ah. I will be alright. Trust me.” Tiffany grinned and tapped Seohyun’s cheek tenderly.

 

“You know you can always count me and tell anything to me should you feel stress or questionable about things around you or even involving Taeyeon. Just.. Don’t do anything stupid, okay? You are more than friend for us, Tiff. You are more like sister already.” Seohyun nodded at Jessica’s statement.

 

“I know that. Thank you to both of you; for continuously supporting me and always be there for me. You both are the place I can collide in whenever I am down. I can’t ever thank you enough.” Tiffany teared up.

 

“No more tears, please? I am quite tired of crying since the news you’re hospitalized sank into my head and up until now.” Jessica blurted.

 

“Alright alright. No more crying then. Can you please call Taeyeon Unnie? I am starting to feel hungry.” Seohyun shyly admitted.

 

“Hahaha.. Okay, dongsaeng.” Tiffany took her phone and started dialing Taeyeon’s number.

---

 

“Seo, I am going home now. Do I have meeting this afternoon?” Taeyeon stopped at Seohyun’s working desk.

 

“Nope. You have no more meeting today. But you have 3 tomorrow; one at 9 AM with external auditors for ISO OHSAS Certification, one at 2 PM with vendor for manpower procurement and one at 4 PM with BOD.” Seohyun informed.

 

“Right. I don’t care about tomorrow. Well then, I won’t go back to work after lunch. If there is emergency situation, just call me okay?” Taeyeon grinned happily, couldn’t wait longer to meet her wife.

 

“Sure. Say hi to Tiffany Unnie from me.” Seohyun politely said.

 

“Of course. See you tomorrow then, Hyunnie~” Taeyeon waved her hand excitedly and quickly walked to the elevator.

 

Taeyeon summoned Seohyun back as her executive personal assistant; being said executive because she was given privileges to make decisions if Taeyeon was out of reach / couldn’t be contacted. Meanwhile, Min Kyung was moved to the branch office as commercial admin and cut all contact with her and her daughter unless when it’s related to work which by the way almost never occurred.

 

One day when Tiffany was still in hospital, she asked Min Kyung to meet her. There she explained that she could no longer drop by to meet Sunmi; that she needed to be a good husband for her wife. She also told her that she wasn’t being herself when she often went to her home just to meet Sunmi when the kid wasn’t even hers. Therefore, she apologized and asked for her understanding. She too added that whenever Min Kyung needed her help, the woman could always contact her secretary Seohyun, and she would continue the message to Taeyeon which meant, no direct conversation would be held between Taeyeon and Min Kyung. Surely, Min Kyung was shocked but couldn’t say anything to refute. She could only nod her head while pretending she’s alright when she’s far from being alright.

 

Back to the story, Taeyeon drove her car directly to her home. The event that night was more than enough to teach Taeyeon a previous lesson about family, mostly regarding the person she loved the most. She didn’t know what possessed her in the past that she could even prioritize someone who wasn’t her own wife. She didn’t know what reasons were there that she could sacrifice her spared time for somebody else and made her wife suffer in the process. Good thing that God still loved her that she was slapped by that event which made her sanity returned to its original place.

 

Tiffany was released after being hospitalized for almost a week. Ever since that unwanted night occurred, Taeyeon had indeed change and for the better if Tiffany might add. Two weeks passed smoothly since then with Taeyeon often came home much earlier than normal working time. Further, she even spent two hours during lunch. She would be home at 11 AM, helping Tiffany preparing lunch and ate together with her at 12 PM. Right after, she would accompany Tiffany to watch news before finally going back to work at 1 PM.

 

“Fany-ah~” Taeyeon called her wife as she removed her shoes.

 

“Hey! You are early than usual. I haven’t done cooking. Are you possibly hungry already?” Tiffany approached her husband, didn’t forget to give some space between her and Taeyeon. She reached out her hand, indirectly asking for Taeyeon to give away her bag and jacket.

 

“Thanks’” Taeyeon expressed and stared at Tiffany with eyes full of love as her wife was busy hanging the jacket in the gallows and put the bag above the coffee table.

 

“I will help you cooking after I change my clothes.” Taeyeon followed Tiffany passed the living room.

 

“Why changing clothes?” Tiffany halted and turned her body.

 

“I have confirmed to Seohyun and she said I have no more meeting today so I decided to spend a day at home with you.” Taeyeon smiled.

 

“Are you sure? What if-“

 

“No ifs’, baby~ I am the owner, remember? Besides, I hire Seohyun not for nothing. I give her rights to make decisions as my replacement. Who knows if she can prove herself, I would promote her to a higher position like corporate strategic manager?” Taeyeon ed her shirt, aborting her plan to go inside the bedroom to get change.

 

“I am more than sure she is capable to hold such position but then again, it’s up to you. I believe you need more assessment before able to make such decision.” Tiffany went back to her stove, continuing her cooking.

 

“I thought you wanted to get change.” Tiffany felt eyes watching her from behind so as a reflex, she tilter her head and her eyes caught Taeyeon standing, leaning on the kitchen island with a glass of orange juice near her lips.

 

“I wanted to watch you cooking. Do you mind?” Taeyeon sipped her juice and smiled.

 

“O-of course not.” Tiffany blushed. She quickly hid her face and pretended to stir her soup. Taeyeon chuckled and finished her juice.

 

“How’s work?” Tiffany tried to avert the topic. She knew Taeyeon was still staring at her intensely that it made the hairs on her body stood up in shyly.

 

“Work is slow that’s why I could come home early today. I want to spend the rest of the day with you. Is there anything I can help with? I can clean the chicken, cut the meat or at least wash the vegetables.” Taeyeon stepped forward, putting the empty glass on the sink.

 

“I am alright. Just change your clothes and the food shall be served in 10 minutes.” Tiffany tilted her head, offering her best smile to Taeyeon.

 

Taeyeon’s eyes turned sad. At one point, she was happy that she was able to see Tiffany smile as bright as she used to. The eyes of her wife explained everything but lies; she knew Tiffany slowly but sure would gradually back to her own-self; the person who was excited almost at everything and had endless forgiveness to offer to those who had sinned her. In normal state, she would already pull Tiffany and place her lips on her wife. The bitter fact hit her hard that she could do nothing but blaming herself. After all, she was the one who changed her wife; the marriage condition to worse state.

 

“Tae?” Tiffany called again.

 

“Oh? Ah yes, I will go change then. I will be back soon.” Taeyeon quickly masked a smile and turned around, going to her separate bedroom.

 

“I am sorry, Tae. Give me more time and I will be back to my old-self. I still love you.” Tiffany smiled sadly. She sighed and returned to her cooking task.

 

They ate together in the dining room, located just beside the kitchen. They chatted common things occurred in their surroundings; about the worsen economy situation of Europe, the president of Korea to trivial things such as how Seohyun loved white too much that no matter what color her blazer was, the shirt underneath would always be white. Tiffany then washed the dishes while Taeyeon helped her to dry the plates and glasses. After, Taeyeon and Tiffany decided to spend the rest of the day being lazy watching random Korean drama on the TV.

 

“I thought this drama has ended.” Taeyeon commented. She sat on the corner of the long 3 seaters couch across the TV.

 

“It has. This is just the reruns.” Tiffany answered. Meanwhile, Tiffany sat on another corner of the couch, making one seat vacant. There’s an immense gap between the marriage couple which was only occupied by the dark blue cushion.

 

“Do you like the main actor?” Taeyeon randomly asked, head turned to her wife.

 

“Who wouldn’t. I mean it’s Ji Chang Wook! Handsome, tall, well-shaped body, sharp eyes, and kissable lips.” Tiffany replied too excitedly.

 

“Right. And you are married with a short woman with mournful eyes, ordinary shaped body, and not too y lips.” Taeyeon sulked, hands folded on her chest.

 

“Now someone is being childish~” Tiffany teased.

 

“You’re the one who asked me. It’s not my fault that I answered your question honestly. Yes, the man is admirable but the person whom I love is a sort woman with mournful eyes, ordinary shaped body and not too y lips instead of him. Happy now?” Tiffany added when she heard no response from Taeyeon.

 

“Very! Thank you~” Taeyeon grinned from ear to ear.

 

“And I love you too.” Taeyeon unconsciously reached out her hand and touched Tiffany’s hand.

 

“NO!” Tiffany in reflex pulled her hand from Taeyeon and screamed in panic.

 

“I-I am sorry. I forgot.” Taeyeon stammered, still shocked from the abrupt response.

 

“N-no. I am sorry for overreacting.” Tiffany still held the hand that was just touched closed to her chest.

 

“I…”

 

“I am gonna check the laundry on the clothesline.” Tiffany stood up, leaving Taeyeon with the TV still on.

 

“It hurts.” Taeyeon smiled bitterly to no one. formed a smile and yet her eyes produced tears. She bent her knees close to her chest, burying her head in between it. She cried and cried. Little did she know, Tiffany was watching her with the same wet face and reddened eyes.

 

---

 

“Taeyeon-ah.” Taeyeon scrutinized, feeling her body being poked.

 

“Tae, wake up. It’s already time for dinner.” Taeyeon groaned before opening her eyes. Eventually, her vision came back and she saw Tiffany’s face not far from her. She turned her head and saw that Tiffany woke her up using the TV remote.

 

“Oh yeah. I am sorry I fell asleep. What time is it?” Taeyeon sat up and yawned.

 

“It’s 7.15 PM. I have prepared warm water for you to have a bath. The dinner will be ready when you’re done.” Tiffany sat on the single couch.

 

“Alright. Have you taken a bath?” Tiffany nodded.

 

“What did you have for dinner?” Taeyeon asked again.

 

“Chinese food. Hongkong fried rice, dumplings, and shrimps soup.” Tiffany said.

 

“Wow it sounds delicious. Wait for me, I won’t be long.” Taeyeon informed and got up. She was still kind of sleepy that she forgot she was supposed to go to the other bedroom.

 

“Tae, you’re going to-“ Tiffany hadn’t finished talking when Taeyeon was already had the door opened.

 

Taeyeon finally realized when she saw the bed she used to sleep in, with her wife; the same bed where she used to make love with her wife and ended up cuddling until sleepiness took over, the nightstand where their framed picture of their wedding photo in small version was located; the very picture she used to always stare before she bid her wife goodnight, the small lamp that she always turned off when she or her wife had done reading and was ready for bed, the cabinet, the dressing table, and other furniture that were still placed similarly like how she remembered. Everything was the same. The only difference was the sad fact that she no longer occupied the bedroom; the painful truth that she slept in another bedroom.

 

“I am sorry. I went to the wrong room.” Taeyeon hurriedly went to opposite direction, accidentally closed the door too harshly.

                                                                                                                                   

“Taeyeon-ah.” Tiffany sighed. She wanted to come into the room and hug Taeyeon, putting the dramas to end. The hurtful realization slapped her; that she still couldn’t let Taeyeon touch her. She halted her step right before the door and turned around, walking to her own bedroom.

 

“I know it’s my own fault that Tiffany and I ended up like this. But how long more do I need to wait? How long, God?” Taeyeon didn’t come out immediately. She spent around more hours crying and blaming herself inside the guest room which had become her bedroom since weeks ago.

 

The announcement that her wife was allowed to go home made Taeyeon jump in happiness. She picked up her wife right after work, couldn’t wait longer for her to have a proper reunion with her wife and at the same time restart everything; hoping everything would eventually to return to its original place; them being lovey dovey yuckey that her friends couldn’t even bear with their intimateness.

 

Taeyeon understood very well that Tiffany was still unable to be touched by her. She too had learnt that her wife was okay being touched by others. As long as the person touched Tiffany wasn’t her, everything would be alright. She of course had hardships to accept that fact and yet she also realized she couldn’t do anything but making Tiffany accept her again as a husband in time. How long? Taeyeon too had no idea about it.

 

Taeyeon thought she could sleep with Tiffany in the same room even when it meant she had to place bolsters, pillows, and other things to give her sleeping space and Tiffany’s one adequate gap. It turned out that her wish again couldn’t be granted. Tiffany couldn’t sleep that night. She tossed and turned in the bed numerously that sweats appeared on her forehead. When she managed to sleep; only an hour after, she screamed; yelling for Taeyeon to stay away and that she was afraid of Taeyeon. She too kicked Taeyeon and hit Taeyeon repetitively.

 

Tiffany was totally lost control when she did that. Taeyeon had to call Tiffany’s name loudly until the woman fully regained her consciousness. The woman said sorry many times and Taeyeon could only smile, saying that it’s alright. Knowing how having her nearby during sleep had caused such impact, Taeyeon got up and started to pack her clothes and moved to the guest room. Instead of saying no and rejected the idea, Tiffany could only say sorry while watching Taeyeon gather her belongings.

 

It would be a huge lie if Taeyeon said that she’s okay with that; that she could live well even when she had to spend her nights alone without her wife by her side. She had to bear the pain that she could only hug a soulless bolster instead of her wife; that she had no one to kiss goodnight since her wife couldn’t be touched; that she had to sleep with coldness accompanied her because she could no longer feel the warmth emanating from her wife’s body.

 

That night Tiffany had to eat alone because Taeyeon didn’t come out from her room. She placed the food inside the refrigerator and didn’t forget to leave the notes that the food was already stored inside the cooler and that Taeyeon could warm it later when she felt hungry. Both women sleep with tears in their eyes. They longed for each other’s presence but one couldn’t do much about her trauma while the other didn’t know what more attempts she had to do in order to return their marriage condition to normal. Besides, it takes two to tango, right?

---

 

Almost a year passed after that and nothing much changed. Tiffany was still under medication and regularly accompanied by Taeyeon to do check up to ensure that her condition gradually got better. Taeyeon almost never witnessed her wife crooned due to her stomachache anymore and it hinted a good thing, no?

 

Regarding their marriage life; nothing much changed as well. Taeyeon was still unable to lay her hands on Tiffany’s body. The woman sadly still felt the fear of being touched by her own husband. They still slept in the separate rooms and they always gave immense gap between each other, be it during watching TV or when they ate together in the dining room. The worst of all, they still cried for each other, hoping things would change for the better.

 

Tiffany was always known as a sensitive woman, especially to those whom she cherished, including Taeyeon. She loved Taeyeon more than her own life and almost every single day, she reminded Taeyeon about that fact by confessing and declaring her love for the latter through words before she went to bed. Again, sadly, she could only elaborate her love through words for she failed to express it through body gestures. Taeyeon too always replied the confession with similar statement followed by a smile, not a wide one though.

 

If only Taeyeon knew that Tiffany’s nightmares weren’t triggered by Taeyeon’s presence. If only she acknowledged that even when Taeyeon had moved to another bedroom, Tiffany still had those nightmares. Yet, Tiffany purposely didn’t tell. Not because she didn’t want Taeyeon to sleep with her but rather because she didn’t want Taeyeon know that she still experienced nightmares; she wanted Taeyeon not to feel worried or even guilty for the nightmares that kept on haunting her for the past months.

 

Tiffany was more than ready to take all the blame; she knew somehow Taeyeon must have felt hurt; her pride was stained because her own wife rejected the idea of sleeping in the same bed. Oh how she wished Taeyeon knew that whatever she did was for Taeyeon’s own goods. How she wanted Taeyeon to just stop blaming herself for whatever happened to her because Tiffany had long forgotten about it despite the sad fact that her body still couldn’t erase every little thing that Taeyeon had done to her.

 

Tiffany was a sensitive woman. She paid attention to Taeyeon’s well-being no matter how trivial it may seem. She knew how Taeyeon would never finish her dinner if she didn’t accompany her or how Taeyeon always tried to find a reason to ensure Tiffany wouldn’t watch dramas where the actors were considered as handsome with mouthwatering body. Thus, Tiffany also knew how she wasn’t able to do her responsibility as a wife; how she couldn’t fulfill Taeyeon’s needs in bed.

 

Around few months ago, Tiffany was awakening due to another nightmare. Within her dream, Taeyeon was a good husband and yet she was failed to help Taeyeon because in her dream, Tiffany was hurt by strangers and Taeyeon didn’t come on time to prevent Tiffany from dying. Again, it’s none but an unreliable dream but enough to wake Tiffany up. She then felt thirsty and forgot that she hadn’t prepared water. Therefore, she needed to go out from her room to grab a glass of water.

 

Tiffany got out from her bedroom, wanting to go to the kitchen when she heard sounds coming from the room opposite her; Taeyeon’s room. She came closer and composed herself; attaching her ear to the door, close enough until she could finally determine what kind of voices it was. Instead of feeling aroused, she felt shattered when she heard how desperate Taeyeon called her name while trying to reach her peak of . Yes, she found out that Taeyeon had to relieve herself because Tiffany wasn’t there to help her.

 

Tiffany clenched her fist, telling herself mentally that she was strong enough to hear the excruciated moans made by her own husband until the very end. She used one hand to cover and hide her sobbing. Taeyeon was inside, indirectly crying for help from Tiffany through her groans and whimpers. Tiffany was outside the room, crying as well because she was helpless and couldn’t help her husband. It was totally normal for marriage couple to being intimate and make love to each other and yet they couldn’t do it.

 

Some minutes passed and finally no more sound could be heard. Tiffany took a deep breath, trying to calm down. She had cried too much and she was curious how come her tears hadn’t run dry even after more than a year; the past when Taeyeon rarely came home due to the kid and the meantime when her marriage with Taeyeon was on the verge of destruction.

 

Tiffany just knew if she continued standing outside of the room, eventually Taeyeon could hear her crying. That’s why she preceded to the k