Lives At the Roulette Table
written by KangminBread
reviewed by -Tigress-

Title: 10/10
I actually really enjoyed your title and I loved how it plays into the fact that detective work is much like playing Roulette. It's also a really unique title that I have not seen the likes of before and so yes, I love this.

Plot: 17/25

                7/10: Setting
                The setting is described nicely though of course I would like to see more; the placement of furniture in a room, etc. It just helps things to be easier visualized by the reader. Also, having the setting in a police department is nicely done, though it was kind of a given for the job description.

                5/5: Originality
                 As a fanfic, this is very original. There aren't many detective stories out there that don't involve the detective falling for the suspect and eventually proving them innocent, so I felt like this was a breath of fresh air. You've really focused on the story of a detective's cases and that is really nice. 

                5/10: Believability
                 This is where your story does struggle the most for me. In a real life situation, a Forensic Agent (aka Forensic Detective) does not spend their time chasing the bad guys across the city. Forensics are about the science of how and where and when, most of the work is done at the crime scene and in the lab at the station. Shows like CSI don''t accurately portray this, though, and so I can see where you have gotten the idea of being more crime-fighters than crime-solvers. For the sake of your story, it sets Ryeowook up nicely to be in the position of solving everything, but I can't help that think that it would serve the believability of your story more to remove the Forensic title and make him a regular Detective.
The other part of your story that I struggled with believing was the hesitatnce that the chief seemed to want to do his job. He always seemed so reluctant and unwilling to work and that just struck me as wrong.

Characterization: 31/35

                5/5: Presentation
                 I love how you have presented Ryeowook. Not as the weakling that many people seem to write him as, but as a clever and capable individual. Very nice. I also appreciate the physical descriptions that you give to each and every character, it really helps them to be pictured by the reader (now just do that for your surroundings! lol).

                6/10: Development
                There hasn't been a lot of developement throughout the story as to Ryeowook's character, but I think that the main issue there does not stem from your writing but the fact that the story is a collection of separate episodes, if you will. Because of that there isn't so much of an underlying theme or somethign to draw them all together. The biggest thing that drives character developement is when the characters must grow to face a continuous threat (could be an issue, a fear, a person, whatever) that is present throughout all episodes. For instance, in the TV series "Monk", he is a detective who solves cases unrelated to one another. But throughout the entire series is the fact that he is also searching for his wife's killer. Something like that can really make your character come to life, really connect the dots between episode to episode, and deepen your character's growth as each case leads them one step closer to the final truth. So if you do continue it, I would suggest finding something to place as the intertwining thread.

                20/20: Diversity/Purpose
                Your characters all have a lot of diversity and purpose to them, I didn't feel as if any were simple name drops nor as if any were copies of each other. Very well done there.

Writing Style: 28/30

                10/10: Narration
                 I admit that your narration actually had me a bit confused, but once I got used to it I realized that you tell the story(s) quite effectively in that. what was so jolting to me was that you tell the story in like a black and white scenario. There aren't a lot of words used, there isn't much description, it feel almost like a bare bones, stripped down version of a story. But it works! This actually let the crime idea set off and as I finished it I had to wonder if you did it on purpose, because I have read your things before and none read quite like this. Very interesting and you taught me something here!

                8/10: Consistency/Flow
                Again, the series would flow better if you had an underlying theme connecting them all. Other than that, I enjoy how this has been going.

                10/10: Spelling/Grammar
                I did not notice any errors here at all.

TOTAL: 86/100

Well, I know your original request was made so as to help you decide if you ought to continue this or not. My vote would be yes, it's so unique and you have such a great opportunity here for the chance to expand. I hope that this review (late as it is, I am so sorry!!) helps you out in your decision! I look forward to hearing from you!