Maze Walker
written by That-One-Writer
reviewed by Yeoniebb42

Title: 10/10
I can’t think of a title that would better suit this story than what you already have here. What I like the most about it was that it was very easy to remember and since I often forget the titles of the stories I review, I must praise you for your title choice. Well done!

Plot: 34/35

                5/5: Originality
                “The story is in no way connected, inspired, or even based on ‘Maze Runner’. I’ve never even seen the movie…”

I’ve actually watched the Maze Runner movie before and when I read that statement, I admit that I was slightly sceptical and I did think that your story would probably end up sharing similarities with the movie but well, you proved me wrong. I have never come across a story like this before and the fact that Chanyeol was the only idol in the story was pretty foreign to me, as well. Nevertheless, you did wonders with this plot and although it may have been simple, it certainly left quite an impression on me.

                10/10: Believability
                One would think that without any supernatural experience, it would be difficult to relate at all to a story written in that genre however, once again, you excelled with another aspect of your plot. Chanyeol’s reactions to different situations, the growth of his character and pretty much everything in this story were all very believable. It amazes me that a story with elements of fantasy could be so…real.

I understand that some may disapprove of the fact that Chanyeol once again followed what appeared to be the Lady of Deceit in the real world and although I agree with them to a certain extent, I think that that only adds to the believability of the plot. Chanyeol had been a rebellious boy all this time and he wasn’t going to learn his lesson that easily now, was he? Physically and mentally tiring the experience was, yes, but defiance is a part of his nature, isn’t it?

                9/10: Narration
                I, too, have had experience writing a story that relies heavily on actions with minimal dialogue and I know exactly how tricky it can be so for that, I am very proud of you. I’ll admit that the overall tone felt a little uncomfortable and stuffy at times but you narrated the story exactly how a narrator should.

                10/10: Setting
                The setting of the story is basically a barren maze. Impossibly difficult to provide descriptive details of yet you managed to do it! You vividly painted in my mind a perfect mental image of the maze that Chanyeol was trapped in.

Characterization: 32/35

                9/10: Development
                Over the course of a mere three chapters and one setting, Chanyeol underwent a numerous amount of changes. He was stubborn and rebellious but he learnt, albeit abruptly, to be trusting and understanding. I did mention that defiance still remained a trait of his but a complete change can’t be completely possible with one experience, can it? Regardless, you did very well with developing Chanyeol’s character.

                4/5: Presentation
                I didn’t know exactly how you were going to portray Chanyeol here but then I read through the story and all of a sudden, it was as though I had known him forever, as if he was a close friend of mine. This was only possible because you indirectly presented his traits through his behaviour, thoughts and responses in various situations that were sprung at him.

Another point though, you described the appearance of the creepy, old man but not of Chanyeol! How did he usually style his hair? How did he wear his uniform? Although the readers do know what Chanyeol looks like, it would still be useful to describe what he looked like or carried himself because with that, we’d be able to make more inferences about his personality. Other than that though, I really think you’re splendid at characterising.

                9/10: Diversity
                All right, I admittedly struggled here since the only real character here is Chanyeol. His character serves a different purpose in the story from the creepy, old man and the Lady of Deceit so obviously, you were able to give everyone a very different personality.

However, if I am to compare Chanyeol with any other high school boy thrown into a maze, what would set Chanyeol apart from them? It is here that the relatability of Chanyeol slightly backfires. He is easy to relate to but he doesn’t easily shine. There aren’t any particular qualities about him that makes him different from any other high school boy character I’ve read about.

                10/10: Purpose
                Oh, Chanyeol certainly served his purpose as a fictional character. He reminded us of the hardships of life, the need for perseverance and the importance of understanding our parents. I’m not entirely sure if you intended to have any of those themes but that was what I was able to deduce and I think that coming from your story, that’s quite impressive.

Writing Style: 18/20

                8/10: Spelling/Grammar
                Would you care to hear something quite amusing? When I first read your story’s description, my initial thought was “clearly a native English speaker” so you can imagine how surprised not to mention impressed I was when I found out that you weren’t! You didn’t have a single spelling mistake and your grammar was almost completely on point! The few grammatical errors you did have were negligible and with a quick proofread, I’m certain that you’ll be able to identify and correct them.

The few mistakes that I recall and can point out for you are as follows:

• Most of his decisions on where to go were made based of wimps on whims.
• He was confided confident once again.
• It wasn’t the maze anymore; he was on in the real world again.
• The Lady of Deceit is a very powerful sorcerer sorceress. (The female version of a sorcerer is a sorceress.)
• His legs would wouldn’t move. It was like something was stopping him from going to the man.
• In the first chapter, you often wrote “kidnaped” instead of “kidnapped”. (Both are technically correct in English but “kidnapped” is used a lot more often than its counterpart; in fact, I have seldom seen “kidnaped” used in any text.)
• Most of the grammatical mistakes you had shown thus far were more typos than anything but I did notice that there was one particular part of grammar that you seemed to have quite a lot of trouble with and that was tense. Stories are usually written in past tense although it is also acceptable to write in present tense. Most of your story was written in past tense yet you would sometimes end up writing with present tense. It seemed unintentional to me but since I’ve noticed, I think you should work on this. I’ll show you a few examples where you mixed the tenses so do try to stick with one tense – either past or present.

For instance: “The boy can’t help but ask, suddenly feeling every bad feeling going away. Everything he felt in the maze, and all the he felt when returning, it was all fading.” Or “He just grabbed Chanyeol wrist, taking the bracelet, which was no longer one with the boy, and walking away.”

                5/5: Consistency
                I found no problems here. Once again, well done!

                5/5: Flow
                Your story flow was highly satisfactory; it was gentle and amidst my tiny bouts of fear, the flow was one of the main things that served as comfort.

TOTAL: 94/100

Thank you for sharing this story with me! It was actually my first time reading a character centric story and I’m definitely not used to reading something without romance in it but this was certainly very interesting. I hope you keep writing and I wish you the best of luck!