A Blaze of White Light
written by Miechan
reviewed by Julie_Cavi

Title: 10/10
The title was very interesting at first to me since it was like omg what’s this story gonna be about? But i like the way it is since the band went out in a blaze of glory~

Plot: 30/35

                5/5: Originality
                In the other reviews i did that had the whole Highschool AU, I said it was cliche. Yet, it was adorable that you added that whole ‘Dude, we should start a band!!’ ‘Yeah man I'm down :D!!’ I would say that it was clever, but I'm sure there's other stories like that around. But I read yours and I love the whole drama that came along with high school and all the relationships that have developed. Also, adding the POV from each character was interesting since we as the audience were able to see all parts of the ‘story’. 

                8/10: Believability
                Ah, I am not too familiar with too many people who are musically talented and garage bands. So, with that out of the way, I can say that with each of the character’s personalities and the ways things proceeded, I can say that I wouldn't believe it. Now I’m not saying you didn't give that vibe that “yeah these boys can do it and they will!!” ’cause you did, trust me, but I think that from my point of view I wouldn't support it. BUT, since you wrote so beautifully, I’ll say that you ‘convinced’ me. Also you did add the self-esteem issues and lack of confidence in these characters that it did seem like they were actual high school students :D.  

                7/10: Narration
                As I’ve stated above, it was nice that you incorporated all points of view from the main character to get all parts of the story. It's also cool that you did that because you wrote how the characters acted, interacted, and reacted to the situations they were placed in. And I’m not sure if I was the only one, but it felt like I could know exactly how they were going to be? Like, you had their personality down pat, and that’s alright, but it was almost a little too predictable? For instance, in your forward you already had it foreshadowing that Daesung and Seungri were going to end up, so maybe, lay off on the suggestions. Other than that yay, narration was well thought out. 

                10/10: Setting
                I’m usually known for being a stickler for grammar and spelling, but I do put emphasis on settings since everything ties in with each other. With your added indicators before each scene, it clearly gives place to the setting. Also, since you describe things so wonderfully, I wasn't lost. Yay~

Characterization: 33/35

                10/10: Development
                The development was slow and gradual but it got there and made the story feel so personal. With each character going this hardship not only by themselves but with each other gave this story a nice sense of victory. From Jiyong being so angry to a loving person that gives and receives. These little touches here and there for the characters is what made the development so strong. Good job on this~ 

                5/5: Presentation
                The presentation of each character was unique as they should be lol. I love how very different they were from each other and how they got along in the end. 

                10/10: Diversity
                From what I understand, you used all five members in this story. Alright, cool. And I love the use of mademoiselle and other little characters that made their appearance. It all fit into the story and made it what it is. Good job. 

                8/10: Purpose
                Its funny that they’re in a band in the story because without one part of the band and an instrument, then it just doesn't flow. So each character supplied their own part for the story and it made it whole. Sure there were some parts that felt too forced? It's not anything major although I couldn't help but feel that way. Please remember that it's only in my opinion so I'm sure there isn't anything wrong :D

Writing Style: 18/20

                8/10: Spelling/Grammar
                 I am so helplessly in love with your descriptions. I didn’t know where else to put this comment other than in the grammar section, since you have executed it so flawlessly. You’ve no idea what kind of a er I am for such detailed and beautifully put sentences. Also, at some points it was a bit hard? For me to read? I mean since we have different English sentence structures (since you’re from New Zealand, and I’m from America lol) so it was a bit hard for me to discern what to read and how to read it lol. You’re fine, good, it’s just me omg. Your grammar and punctuations were very good in this story, I was fascinated by it. There were a few small problems here and there like you typing out true instead of tune, but nothing too major, so its up to you to go back and fix them lol. Keep up the good work.   

                5/5: Consistency
                I read in the foreword that this story was originally one-shots and now it’s chaptered :D. Thank you for breaking it up with the little un, deux and onze, douze and the roman numerals before the next events unfolded. It kept the pace for the story and was a nice little addition. 

                4/5: Flow
                I like how in some parts of your story you have the short sentences followed by the longer paragraphs. It gives the story life and character. 

TOTAL: 91/100

Okay so, I cannot say enough how much I love your details and descriptions and how well you write. Like literally it is one of my guilty pleasures when I find a really well written story. And although Big Bang isn't my favorite band and I dont particularly like high schol au's, this was alright in my book. So keep up the good work and good luck writing~