The next morning-

I asked Baekhyun to bought me juice for my breakfast.

Because Kai bought me juice when I was here. I decided to faced this as positively as I can. Thats why I want to remind myself how it feels like when I was here with Kai. 

I the tv and watched the news. Hoping news about Kai would appeared, I wanted to know about him so damn badly. Where did he go ? Is he alright ? Its still early in the morning- is he perhaps still sleeping ?

Then where did he sleep ? His parent's house ? Our house ? No ?

I sighed deeply when there are no news about him at all. But then again, how in the world can they released Kai from the jail ? I though he was sentenced to lived behind those bars for the rest of his life ?

What happen ?

I bit my lips as I frowned, my head hurts for thinking too much. I grab my phone and see a message from Suho on my phone screen. He is asking for my health- saying my mum is alright with him.

I smile by myself. But then I remember how Suho told me and Baekhyun about Kai, making me thinking of him might know something more about his condition right now.

He is my neighbour afterall. Maybe he has seen Kai coming home before ?

Without waiting any longer, I hit the green button next to his name and wait for him to answer. The phone ring twice, thrice before he finally answer from the other line.

"Suho?"

"Uhm~" I hear he groaned "Are you still sleeping ?" I asked and he groaned again. "Wake up ! I want to ask something important"

"Im awake" he said lazily "What is it ?"

"How did you know that Kai has gone out from the jail ?"

"Psh, its all over the news" he stop for awhile "Im sure people around him get scared of him though.. because they show a clear picture of Kai in the news"

My heart clenched in worried. How terrible is that ? To have people around him getting afraid of him. Seeing people looking at him in fear- looking at people trying to run away from him. 

God, where is he ?

"Are you home ?" I asked "And leaves mum alone ? No" he answer and I ruffles my hair in frustation. "Ouh- when you go home ! Have you seen him ?"

"I dont think so"

"Even once ?"

"Uhm"

Damn.

"Are you done ?" he said lazily. "Hey wake up and do me a favor, can you please cook something for mum ? Its her birthday.. remember ?" I said.

"I know but.." "Dont tell me you dont know how to cook" "How did you know ?" I facepalm myself and laugh- I dont know why but I find its funny.

"But I know how to make seaweed soup !"

"Thank god" I sighed.

"Better get ready know though" he said and groaned. "Do it, uhm ? For me ?" I said cutely and he smirked, "I do it for mum, you silly"

"Fine" I chuckled "Is Baekhyun there ?" he asked and I shook my head no eventhough Suho is not here. "Nope, he go out to find breakfast"

"This early ?!"

"Yea, he is not like a lazy-bum like you" "Yah !" I laughed at him, "Get ready now, Suho. I will call you later- ouh one more thing"

"Whattt" he whined 

"Tell me if you heard anything about Kai"

"Ofcourse I will, Im going to hang up now"

"Im sorry that you need to listen to my rant right in the morning" I grinned. "Nahh, I will need to get used to it"

"I know right"

"Bye now"

"Okay, eat well with my mum ! Bye" I said and hit the red button. I stare at my phone while smiling to myself like an idiot.

"You look happy"

I grinned "Ofcourse Im-" I looked up and my whole body turned numb in less than a second- is that even possible. I turned speechless once I see him infront of me. 

Mix feelings.

Longing.

Love.

Fear.

Happy.

Anxious.

Excited.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

I have all of the above wander around in my whole body. I cant even explained how it feels like. "Im glad.. that you're happy" he said as he break into a smile.

"Jongin" I stuttered. My hands unconciously grabbing tightly onto the blanket on me. "You was not like this when the first time you heard that you has diagnosed with heart cancer" he continued and my eyes started to trembled.

"Y-Yah.. Kim Jongin" I said and he tilted his head to the right as he leaned his body on the door frame, crossing his hand on his chest.

"What ?"

What are you doing right there ? Why.. wont you come closer ? Just why.. dont you-

"Im waiting" he said and I feels my eyes already fill with tears.

"I.. I cant go go to you" I said and bit my lips. I feels my eye and mouth trembled. My hands too.

This overwhelming feelings fill in me and make me turned to be like this. Seeing him infront of me like this, making it feels like a dream.

A dream that has come true.

What if this is a dream ? How hurt am I going to be when I wake up ?

"I cant go to you so-.." I stopped as I feels the tears running down on my cheeks. "Can't you come to me ?" my voice broken as I said it.

He smirked and smiled to me, making the feelings in me worsened. It feels like Im going to die with this feeling in me. This is just