I leaned my head on Baekhyun's shoulder when he lead me to.

It takes about half of an hour to reached Seoul by flight, and we will be there around 20 minutes from now. I feel exhausted right after I take my seat on the plane. But I didnt do anything that is making me tired, all I did was walking around the place that I loved and used to go.

I sits properly and put the earphone in my ear, turning the music on before leaning my head on Baekhyun's shoulder. I feel he gently leaned his head on mine as he held my hand. I stared at our intertwined hand and I raised my eyebrows.

It feels so different this time, his touch didnt makes my heart flutters like it used to. I sighed when this things happened to me again. I cant get what I really wanted. My heart keep confusing me, it cant be predicted. I tighten the grip and closed my eyes to find that feelings back. One song have passed, and two.

But nothing. I feels nothing.

I sighed once again and let his hand go, grabbing a small pillow that is provided and slightly turned to the window. I hug it and stared at the blue sky. 

It looks so beautiful. 

"Is it cold ? Do you want a blanket perhaps ?" I hear Baekhyun's voice but I decided to ignored it and closed my eyes, acting like Im already sleeping. I feels he wrapped me with a blanket and patted my hair.

"Sleep tight" he whisper and I opened my eyes. I increased the volume and feels the ballad song booming in my ear. I squinted my eyes and lower it a bit, I just wanted to prevent myself from listening to his voice.

They makes me feel.. guilt. 

I think I am traumatized after what happened between me and Kai. It feel so much like this. I dont want to experienced this feeling again.. Im afraid everything will be repeat from the start. Just the difference is now I didnt have feeling toward Baekhyun.

And all I want is Kai, right now.

I bit my lips and snuggled into the pillow before forcing myself to sleep.  

Just to find Kim Jongin in my dream.

After going to Jeju, I finally realized that Kai is not just a someone to me. He is everything to me. He is my bestfriend, my family, my air. To make it short, he is the reason in my life. 

He was there from the start. Since the first time I started to remember things. I cant even think of any memory where he is not there. He is there for me and always will be. How can I let him go after what we have gone through together ? I started to realized all this things after reminiscing our moments at the Jeju Island.

We have gone there many times. During preschool, middle school and even high school. We have gone there with our families too, and its not just once. It hold our memories. So much memories of us are treasured on that island. That is the reason on why I decided to go there. 

To find my old self.. and I succeed.

On finding myself.

But it feels like everything comes to an end when they are together with me. Especially when Kai decided to end everything between us, for real. When at the moment, I still didnt find myself back.. when everything is still pieces of puzzles to me.

I didnt able to put the pieces together before the wave hit it and bring the pieces along to the wide sea. 

Right now, I cant see the path that I wanted to go. Everything have been blocked by my own selfishness. My heartless decision. How I wish.. how I wish I can turned back the time..

Right now, I feels so heartless.. toward Kai, toward Baekhyun.. toward me myself.

There is literally nothing I could do right now. Because Kai have ended everything between us..

"Baekhyun, this is not the way to go home"

"I know" is all he said. He is heading to the other way and I didnt even know where are we heading to. I just crossed my arms and keep looking at the view. I pout when he didnt tell me our destination.

But minutes after.. I started to recognize the road and the building around here. My eyes widened and I look over to Baekhyun, what is in his mind right now ? Why is he heading to Kai's house ?

"Dont look at me that way, pretty" he said, smiling. But as seconds ticked by, he put on his serious face on. Making me turned bewildered by his sudden change, I could feel the tensed when he started to grip the steering wheel tightly.

I quickly changed my gaze to the road, because his sudden changes scared me.

"Jung Haeree, listen" I slightly flinched when his voice turned sterned. I grab my hand into a fist and put all my courage to look at him. But I cant, my eyes locked on his hands as I listen to him.

"Im giving you one chance.. ri