To refresh your memories and to prevent you from clicking chapter 26 and re-reading it.
 

The phone conversation ended and I lay on the bed, my thoughts were running wild and this wasn’t the first time….. I sighed again. My head hurt from all the thinking and guilt slowly consumed my whole being, I just didn’t want to think about it anymore. I grabbed a pillow and pressed it to my face and I wish I didn’t.

The lavender scent, the addicting scent, her scent filled my senses and I loved it. I groaned, removing the pillow from my face and threw it away from me, it landed softy on the floor with a small thud. If only that was how my heart had landed years ago….maybe…just maybe…I would be able to open up and let her in.

I was afraid…because...I knew this wasn’t just a lustful game we shared though I did like this side of her, it was so rebellious and I was captivated. Yet this was not the first time I was lost in those pair of eyes filled with warmth, that sincere smile, that positive attitude and that husky voice.

”I may have fallen in love with you”

 

His eyes drooped closed as a tiny sparkle trickled down from his eyes. He was in love but he couldn’t settle with the rapid beating of his heart when he saw her.
Because he believed it was wrong.
Because he believed his heart only had space for that one special person.
Because he believed it was simply admiration he held for her.
And most importantly, because he was scared.
Scared to experience the painful feeling he once felt pierce through his body. The emotional pain he crossed path with, scarred him.
It hurt.
It hurt to know that the person he loved with all his heart had betrayed him. And he swore he would never allow himself to experience it again.

For the first month of their marriage, he had to slowly approach her since she had no thoughts of approaching him even though they were under the same roof and shared the same bed. They barely spoke. Until one day, he broke the barrier. He felt her hesitation in opening up to him as a friend but he slowly succeeded. From then on, for the next five months of their marriage, they conversed casually like a pair of awkward friends Laughter rang from the household from time to time and a mutual feeling exhibited from their stances. Yet that miraculously stopped one day when he returned with his puffy eyes enraged with anger. His fuming eyes pierced through her as he trudged angrily into their bedroom, slamming the door with a loud bang.

That moment began his change in his view of her and their relationship. Why? Because his long time sweetheart tore off their relationship with the reasoning of his marriage and her guiltiness of being the third party. Of course he had argued with her, retaliating with his planned out reasons yet he never once revealed one thing he knew all along about her; the fact that she cheated on him. The evidence presented by his parents showed him proof yet he never believed them until he saw it with his own two eyes. Her sweet whispers, kisses and giggles which were given to another male made him cringe. But not once did he think it was she who was at fault.

Putting the blame onto himself made him wearier by the day and he strived to prove to her that he was better than any of the guys she once had her eyes lay upon. He may have succeeded for a certain amount of time before everything was just not in his control. He never put the blame on his sweet innocent darling and so it inflicted on himself and his dear wife. She never knew the reasons for his sudden coldness; heck, she never even knew he was dating during their marriage, she was simply clueless and just a victim.

Furthermore, he didn’t want to admit one simple thing: that he actually, gradually began to fall for his mysterious yet innocent wife. She was charming to him indeed, excelling in different talents which he slowly discovered. She had not once boasted in front of him regarding her abilities in dancing, cooking and art. Not once and she was often really quiet. Her emotions were kept bottled within her and he was intrigued with this mystifying aura around her. She was definitely different from his high school sweetheart even though they both exhibited this pure and innocent aura. The comparisons he had of the two girls were often expressed at night, beginning in the first months of his marriage and he still found himself comparing them to this date. But what was there to compare?

Their appearances?
Personalities?
Talents?
Feelings for him?

If it was up to appearance then his wife would’ve lost, she wasn’t pretty or attractive and could probably be considered decent looking. Maybe it was her hair or eyes but she didn’t appeal to him and he remembered thinking of her as ugly and unappealing when he had first met her at the age of 17. Their meetings from then weren’t frequent, probably once or twice a year during the annual balls or what not. And even then, she didn’t catch his attention. Not until he was told he was getting married and that his wife was going to be her.

He found himself slowly observing her movements and of course her body along the process as they were forced to go together to organise their so-called weddings. She had definitely gotten prettier and grown some curves. And of course she was gifted, behind that is and he had always had a for them. Hence, his developing attraction towards her since his sweetheart was nowhere near gifted there but she was still his first girlfriend and it wasn’t easy to let go. Actually, he had thought he would never be able to let go of her.

She was sweet, pretty and charming, especially that eye smile. She always managed to make his day when things just weren’t turning out right and she was his first; first kiss, first love, first night. The memories they shared were so close to a bond that he had believed they were meant for each other forever and that they were soul mates.  But there is no forever or soul mates in reality and he had been simply living in his fantasy. His pure fantasy that their relationship would endure the rough tides.

And so, his blame of her for the conclusion of their relationship was absolutely absurd.  His sweetheart had obviously showed signs of tiredness during their relationship and he surprisingly expected the break up but didn’t know he would be this devastated. And in his fury of disbelief, shock and anger, she became the object of his hatred.

And he changed. He was said to be a playboy but that was an image created by the public and from the day of his break up, he really became one. He loved the pleasure he felt and found it stress-relieving, very stress-relieving because he was scared to face his own emotions, to face her, to open his heart and to love again.

However, from the day he approached her to be friends; she had slowly opened up herself to him and unconsciously fell in love with him. And that surprised her since she had often joked around with her oppas about falling in love with a pretty boy and her husband was definitely a pretty boy. Her oppas all exuded a strong and playful aura around them which her husband didn’t and that was something different.

She didn’t know what she found fascinating about him, maybe the fact that he looked like an angel who possessed powerful dancing skills? And not to mention he could play the piano. She didn’t know how or when but she fell deep and when she felt the sudden coldness from him, she couldn’t help but flinch. He approached her before but now, she tried to approach him yet all he did was push her away. His answers were short, his voice was monotone and his eyes were cold.

As she set to find the unanswered questions, her heart slowly fell apart. The fact that her husband was cheating and is cheating on her scarred her memory. The kisses she saw him share, the sounds he created with the women as they got intimate, the way he stared at his prey and the way he touched them. She remembered how broken she was as she found out about his doings. But what could she do?
This marriage was all because of a promise made by their grandparents.
This marriage was all because of a promise made by their parents.
This marriage was all because of the companies.
This marriage was all because of image.
And most importantly, this marriage meant nothing, absolutely nothing to him.
She meant nothing either, except for the wrecker of his life.

Yet when she had thoughts of giving up, she had thoughts of hope. She hoped that maybe he could change, that maybe he could slowly learn to love her like how she did but their life wasn’t some drama. It just won’t happen. And all she can do for now is hold onto that tiny piece of hope she has left for this marriage because she didn’t know how much longer she’ll be able to endure all his doings. Love is powerful but it isn’t everything.

Author's Note
Sorry for not updating for the a month and 6 days. Life's been hectic. I should really be studying for my upcoming exams but I felt guilty so I started to write again. This chapter's probably messily done but it provides background information, I hope to some of your unanswered questions regarding this story. 
Been really really into INFINITE lately. Myungsoo is HOT. HAHAHAHA. Check out a story from my friend about him if you have time (I have yet to read it so I apologise Trish): http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/135215/not-so-perfect-myungsoo-sungyeol-tragedy-ocs

Thank you to you all for being understanding and patient with me. I'm thinking to a sequel to my one shot "I Know" but I'm still uncertain about it

Anyways, THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN! & Enjoy!