I came out of the car and right away, two guards came to my sides. They accompanied me up the slope to the school gate which was when I saw Youngjae, JB, Jackson and Yugyeom. They looked up and stared at me as I approached them nervously. I stood in front of them and bit my lip anxiously.

"Hi..." I said, my voice sounding husky.

All of a sudden, Youngjae came forward and hugged me. I was taken aback but I missed him so much and I hugged him back.

"I'm sorry for abandoning you... I just needed some time to breathe to get ready for when you're not here anymore..." he said as he started to sniffle.

"I know... I understand..." I said and we let go of one another.

"We're sorry too, Sowon... We'll be here for you from now on," JB said and Jackson nodded.

I looked past their shoulders and saw JR staring at me. I had forgotten that he was in the same school since I hadn't met him in school yet due to our different class timings. He was a few feet away but I could see that his eyes were red and teary. Before I had the chance to approach him, he quickly turned around and headed into the school's main building.

It was during English lesson when I was back on my way to class and I realised JR was walking towards my direction from the other end of the hallway. We looked at one another for a few seconds and then he continued walking, avoiding eye contact with me. Once he was just an arm away from me, I stepped to the side and blocked his way.

"JR..." I sighed.

He tried stepping to the side but I blocked him again.

"Step aside, Sowon..." he said, sounding like a warning.

"The JR I know is kind... and forgiving and understanding. I know you're a good person, JR... Tell me why you're like this, please..." I said but he pressed his lips together, forming a straight line.

"I'm not going through this again..." he said before taking off quickly.

I turned around and stared at JR, walking away unitl he disappeared into a corner.

"Again?" I thought to myself.

LATER ON... DURING RECESS...

Yugyeom, JB, Youngjae, Jackson and me were sitting together at a table eating. Jackson and JB were practically wolving down 2 bowls of ramyun each while Youngjae was eating a few mini pizzas that the school sold at the Snacks stall. Yugyeom had some food packed in a small bento box since he didn't want to place a larger burden on Mark and his mother to earn more for his recess money. I, on the other hand, was eating instant ramyun, my new favourite dish. Just then, I remembered what JR had said and turned to look at Yugyeom.

"JR... seemed really shocked when I told him about my illness..." I said.

Yugyeom raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well, people don't usually have a terminal illness," Yugyeom said.

"I mean, come on, JR is probably one of the nicest guys we both know," i said.

"He is the nicest actually," Yugyeom said.

"Then why has he been so cold to me ever since he knew?" I asked.

Yugyeom looked at me, as if he recalled something important and he sighed.

"God... I think I know..." he said, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"What? What?" I asked.

Yugyeom turned his chair and faced me.

"There was this girl that JR grew up with, her name was Yeona... Seriously, they knew each other their whole lives," Yugyeom said.

"Then, did something happened?" I asked.

"JR always had a crush on her and so did she. They grew up, dreaming about their future and what they were going to do together and all that. Then, when the both of them were 14... she just left. No texts, no calls, no emails, no letters, just nothing left but memories. She erased every photo JR had of the both of them in his computer and mobile phone. Her family didn't live in the same house anymore... she just... vanished. The worst part for JR was that it was like she never even existed in his life," Yugyeom explained.

"Gosh... Poor JR..." I sighed.

"JR never stopped looking for Yeona... after school he'd ask everyone around Seoul whether they'd seen her. Then a year later, her parents came to JR's house to talk to his parents and he wasn't supposed to come back home early but he did. Her parents told him that she passed away... cancer... It turned out thats he had it since she was 12 and it became more serious later on," Yugyeom continued on.

I covered my eyes with my hands, trying to control my tears.

"JR hated himself for a long time for hating her... and he started to hate her too..." Yugyeom said.

A tear trickled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away before anyone saw it.

"So I guess he hates me too..." I sighed.

Yugyeom sighed and shrugged.

"JR's a reasonable guy, he isn't like me. You can talk to him and get through to him. That's kind of your specialty, Kang Sowon," he said with a smile and I smiled back at him.

LATER ON...

"Welc---" JR said halfway until he saw me and he went inside the kitchen.

I followed him in and I saw that he was about to leave through the backdoor.

"I know I can't run but I will do it if you run away," I said loudly and he stopped in his steps.

"Yugyeom told me about Yeona..." I said and I heard JR chuckle coldly as he turned around.

"And I'm sorry that you had to go through all that," I conitnued saying and he nodded.

"I'm sorry for myself too..." he sighed as he started shedding tears.

"Yeona never stopped loving you," I said.

"How would you know?" he asked rudely.

"... Because I know what it feels like... to want to live forever with the one you love eventhough you know your days are numbered," I said and his expression changed.

"Every second I breathe, there's always this fear in my mind that I was going to collapse and die. Another fear, is when that happens the people I love would be there with me. Every time I see Yugyeom's face, I keep on imagining him crying and yelling when one day my heart slowly comes to a stop and I'm sure Yeona had that same fear too," I explained.

"But why leave without saying goodbye?" JR asked, as more tears started to flow.

"... In the hope that you'd hate her. She wouldn't want you to live every single day missing her... she would rather have you hate her and hopefully move on," I explained.

JR started crying harder. I walked towards him and hugged him tightly. He leaned his forehead on my shoulder and cried into my shirt.

"I ...really miss... her..." JR said in between sobs.

A tear escaped from my left eye and I nodded.

"I know..."  I whispered.