I can't slow down.

I have to get away.

This can't be happening

I have to keep running.

---

Earlier that night...

 

"I can't believe we've been together for so long!" I said to my boyfriend of three years. We are currently sitting in his car on our way to our favorite restaurant to celebrate our three year anniversary.

He looked over at me and smiled. His smile made my knees weak. Literally, made me weak. He has the best smile.

 

"Sheesh, Eunji, What do you mean by that? Did you think we wouldn't be able to last through anything?" he joked. I giggled and playfully hit his arm. Eunji is his nick name for me, but most call me Eunji.

 

"Nope Henry, I didn't" I joked back.

He just shook his head and kept driving.

A silence fell between us, but it was a comfortable silence.

I was watching out the window while he held my hand.

I was thinking about everything we had been through together. We had been through so much.

Even break-ups.

But, he always knew what to say and what to do to fix everything. He always knew how to make everything better.

I thought back to our first fight.

 

"I can't believe you're not coming with me!" I shouted at Henry. We were standing outside my house after he came over for dinner. He was there to comfort me because my grandma had just died. It was getting late, and we were arguing about him leaving on vacation.

I could see him getting angrier, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe he was leaving me at a time like this.

 

"Eunji, I can't be there. I'm leaving tonight to go on vacation with my family." He said for the fifth time, I could see that he was trying to remain calm, but he wasn't going to be able to hold himself back for much longer.

 

"Well, that's great! You have fun on your vacation, while I go to my grandma's funeral!" I shouted back at him.

 

He let out a breath that he was holding, and sighed.

"I'm sorry that I can't be here to help you through this. I wish I could be, but I just can't stay behind. My parents have been planning this vacation for over a year, and even if I begged them to let me stay, they would never let me. I'm so sorry." He said pleading with me to understand. I was still too upset to accept an answer like that.

 

"No, you're not sorry. If you were, you wouldn't care what your parents say and you would stay behind to be there for me, but I guess you don't actually care about me!" I yelled and turned away from him and ran. I didn't even look back at him, I just ran. I ran as fast as I could. I could hear him calling out for me to stop. But, I didn't care. I wasn't going to stop. I wanted to run away from him, from my pain, from everything.

I ran for what seemed like forever, but found myself at the park in the center of town.

It was completely empty. I guess it was because it was getting late. I made my way over to the tube slide. I wanted to hide myself from the world. I climbed my way half up the slide so that I was laying in the tube and no one could see me. I was alone.

 

As I laid there, I couldn't help but let my emotions take over. I began to sob. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I was so upset about my grandma dying. I already missed her so much. I was so close with her and now she is gone, forever. And my boyfriend was leaving me when I needed him the most. I couldn't feel anymore alone. I had no one. My parents were there, but I never really got along with them. They just don't understand me. And I'm an only child, so there is no one else at home except me. Im so alone. I had never felt so stranded and desperate. My eyes were burning from all the tears, but I continued to cry.

I was crying so hard, that I didn't hear someone walking over to me. I only realized someone else was in the park when I heard someone call my name up from the bottom of the slide.

"Eunji, is that you?" It was Henry.

 

I tried to wipe my eyes and control myself so he wouldn't know I was crying.

 

"Go away!" I managed to get out. But, he didn't listen. I felt vibrations in the slide, which meant he was climbing up. I tried to move up the slide to the top. As I reached the top, I climbed unto ledge of the slide, to the platform of the playground. But, I didn't see that Henry was right behind me. As soon as I stood up, he climbed out of the top of the slide too. As he stood up, I saw how close he was and tried to run away, but I couldn't. He grabbed my arm begging me to wait. I tried to get out of his grasp, but I couldn't. I was too exhausted and he was just too strong. He pulled me into him. I tried to get away, but he wouldn't let me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. I squirmed and wiggled trying to break free.

 

"No, let me go! I don't want to be near you!" I begged him to let me go. But he wouldn't. He just held me tighter.

 

"Shhh. Calm down, Eunji." He whispered in my ear.

I tried to get away, but he was too strong. I just gave up and gave into him. He felt me stop resisting and held me even closer. I began to sob again. He felt me collapse into him and he sat down on the platform with me in his arms. He just held me while I broke down in front of him. He rubbed calming circles on my back letting me cry everything out.

As he held me and whispered soothing things in my ear, I began to calm down. I soon stopped crying and just laid in his embrace. He sat there in silence as he combed my hair with his hand. I looked up at him and saw a sadness in his eyes. "Why are you upset?" I asked as he looked down at me.

 

He sighed and looked into my eyes. I could see every color in his eyes.

"Eunji, I can't describe to you how sorry I am about everything, I hate seeing you so upset, and I wish I could be here to help you through it. I care about you so much. I want to stay behind. I just can't. I want you to understand, that even though I can't be here with you, I will be thinking about you every minute that I am gone." I can see the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn't lying, he wasn't telling me a story. He really cared.

 

"I believe you." I said as I looked up to him and gave him a small smile.

He smiled down at me with a much bigger smile. He knew that I wasn't angry at him anymore. I was upset, but there was no reason for taking it out on him.

"I'm sorry that I took it out on you. It's not your fault. I want you to go on your vacation, and have a wonderful time!' I said to him, trying to smile bigger.

 

"Thank you for understanding. I will try to have a good time, but know that I will be thinking about you all the time, and that you can call me anytime if you wanna talk. I will miss you so much!"

 

"I will miss you too." I said as I sat up so we were face to face. His hands found the sides of my face and he gently pulled me towards him. His lips met with mine. As soon as they touched, I forgot about the pain I was feeling. It was like he could melt it all away with one kiss. It was amazing. Our lips parted and he looked at me with another on of his smiles. I couldn't help but give him a real smile back. We sat there for a few minutes before we had to get up and get back to our houses. After all, he was leaving for vacation in just a couple of hours. We got up and he walked me home, before making his way back to his house to get ready to leave.

 

I smiled as I remember our fight. From that day on, I knew he was one of the most amazing people on this planet.

I was pulled away from my flashback when I saw that we were pulling into the restaurant.

Henry found a parking spot and climbed out of the car. He made his way around the car and over to my door and opened it for me. He is such a gentleman. He escorted me into the restaurant and we got in right away, because, of course he called ahead and made reservations.

 

We had a wonderful dinner reminiscing on the different times in our relationship. After we shared our dessert, he paid for the meals and we made our way back out to the car. He lead me to my door and helped me in. Then made his way to his side and climbed in. As he started the car, he looked over at me and smiled. He grabbed my hand to hold while he drove us back.

 

As we drove back to my house, we were sitting again without talking, but comfortably listening to the soft music of the radio. As we passed that old park of our first fight, a song came on the radio. It was a song that was the cause of yet, another one of our fights that happened about a year after we had been dating.

 

I was standing at the food table at our homecoming dance. I was waiting for Henry to come back. He said he had to use the bathroom and that he'd be right back. It's been like ten minutes, and he's not back yet. I started to walk around and look for him. I saw one of his friends talking with a group of a few other students. I made my way over to him to ask if he knew were Henry was. I approached him and tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around.

 

"Oh, hey Eunji. What's happening?" Koby asked.

"Hey, Koby, not much. I was just wondering if you had seen Henry. He said he needed to use the bathroom a while ago and now I can't find him." I said. Just as I said that, they announced that the last slow song of the night was being played, so we should find a partner and get on the dance floor.

 

"Sorry, I haven't seen him since he first walked in, but if I do see him, I'll tell him you're looking for him." He responded.

"Ok, thanks!" I said as I became anxious. We haven't slow danced all night and he promised me he would dance with me. I started to walk away from Koby to continue my search, but Koby stopped me before I got too far.

 

"Wait, I can see him over there." He pointed to the dance floor. I looked over in the direction he was pointing and saw Henry slow dancing. He was slow dancing with one of the ty cheerleaders. I didn't know what to do. I was hurt and angry all at once.

 

I went over to the punch table and got myself full glass of whatever flavor punch they had. Then, I made my way through the crowd of couples over to where Henry and the cheerleader was dancing.

I tapped him on the shoulder and waited for him to turn around. When he turned around and saw it was me, I could see the pain in his eyes.

 

"Eunji, I can explai..." I cut him off.

'HOW COULD YOU!" I exclaimed as I poured the punch over his head. I threw the cup on the ground and made my way back through the crowd and ran out of the gymnasium and out to the street.

 

I can't believe him. Why would he do that to me? I thought he really cared about me.

I didn't want to think about it anymore, so I began to run. I ran as fast as I could in my high heels and dress. Whenever I felt sad or upset, I just wanted to run away from everything. So, that's what I did. I ran a few blocks away and found a small cafe. I decided to go inside and get something and maybe I would calm down. Plus cafe's usually have a calming atmosphere. I ordered a drink and found a booth in the back where I could be alone and try and sort through all of my thoughts. I sipped on my drink as I tried to piece everything together.

 

I can't believe he would do something like this.

This is not like him. Or maybe it is, and I just never noticed before. I can't be with a guy like that. I don't want to be with a guy like that.

Then, I decided it was over. There was no excuse he could come up with that would make me understand and want him back. I made up my mind. We were over. As I was finishing my drink I looked out the window and saw that it was beginning to rain. I watched as the water droplets began to soak the window and it began to blur my vision. I couldn't really see what was going on outside. All I could see was shadows rushing by trying to get out of the rain. The bell on the cafe door went off many times while some people came in to get out of the rain. I didn't even bother to look over because I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. I just wanted to be left alone. I heard the bell ring again and heard a lot of people talking.

 

"Oh no, you got your suit all wet." I heard a woman say.

"Yea son, you look like you're drenched to the bone." A man said.

"Daddy he looks like a wet dog!" I heard a little boy exclaim.

I decided to look over and see what was causing all of this commotion.

I looked around and saw a very soaking wet boy dressed in a suit that looked a lot like the one Henry was wearing.

 

Oh great. Now I'm seeing Henry when he's not really there. I thought to myself.

 

But then the boy looked up at me and our eyes met.

It was, in fact, Henry.

He looked horrible. His suit was ruined, His hair was dripping wet and his eyes were all red, it looked like he had been crying.

 

He slowly made his way over to the booth I was in. I was speechless from the sight in front of me. He looked so weak and vulnerable. He's always been so strong, I was literally shocked to see him like this. He made it all the way to my booth and just stood there for a minute. He was looking down at the floor. The whole cafe had their eyes on us. Henry very quietly whispered,"'Can I sit down?" It was barely audible, but I still heard him. I didn't know how to react to all of this. I decided to see how things played out. I simply nodded.

He slowly made his way into the seat across from me.

He didn't speak for a while. He was just fidgeting with his fingers on the table. He seemed nervous, and scared. It was like he was afraid of me.

I had never seen him act this way before. I didn't know what to do or say.

 

He finally looked up at me.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't happen the way you think it did." He was still speaking softly and slowly. All the anger in me rose up again when he said this.

 

"Are you serious? You were dancing with another girl to the last slow song. You promised me a dance and then you left telling me you were going to the bathroom and you didn't come back. I was starting to get worried and then I find you dancing with another girl. I wouldn't have cared if we had missed the slow dance, but it was the fact that you were dancing with another girl without even telling me or anything, That was just so low." I said back letting my anger show. I didn't care how desperate he looked right now. It didn't matter, this was his fault.

 

He scrunched his face as I began to raise my voice. It looked like the words I was saying was actually afflicting pain upon him.

He sighed and looked down at his lap.

He mumbled, "I'm sorry." It made me even more angry.

 

"Sorry? You're sorry? Is that all you can come up with?" I said waiting for him to even try to say something better.

He sighed again and paused. He looked like he was trying to compose himself and organize his words carefully. He took a deep breath and then looked up at me again.

 

"Listen, I'm going to explain the whole thing right now, but I want you to promise to listen to the whole thing and not comment or anything until I am completely finished." He begged.

I thought for a moment and decided to give him a chance.

"Ok, fine. Explain." I responded. He sighed a sigh of relief and then began....

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