A one-shot about the sweetness and innocence of a crush, a heart-warming first date experience.

The radio plays an old country-western number while he keeps his hands gripped tightly around the wheel. You know that he is nervous, just by the way his knuckles are turning white and he avoids your gaze as he stares straight ahead at the countryside ditches. The thought of him--the guy you never thought could be afraid of anything--being embarrassed makes you smirk to yourself, the corners of your lips crinkling into an odd sort of smile.

Skies overhead are filled with hues of neon oranges, and for once your heart is beginning to settle calmly in your chest. You can feel the blood--moments ago pulsing through your veins at a million miles a minute--bubbling down to a slow simmer, withholding just enough electrical power to keep you in a positive mood for the night.

You have yourself convinced that this isn't a big deal to him, that he isn't in the least bit worried. You have yourself convinced of so many falseties in life that some days you have no idea what is wrong and what is right. You peek at him from your peripheral vision, a blush painting the apples of your cheeks as he catches you looking. You remind yourself that this is, obviously, not elementary school any more; being with someone of the opposite is no longer considered "icky" and confessing your love for someone isn't "gross."

"So, I, uh," he begins to stammer, but you are lost in your thoughts and only see the flawless perfection of what he is saying. That is how it has always been for you, whenever you are around him; when you see him, you see the spinning image of perfection. When you take a look in the mirror, however, you don't have enough fingers to count how many flaws you can see. Jonghyun clears his throat and grips the wheel tighter--if that is even possible. "A-are you...hungry?" He inquires in a half murmur, his eyes never leaving the road so he doesn't have to show you the embarrassment written clearly across his expression.

A little fire ignites in your chest as you round the bend. The familiar buildings near the outskirts of town pass you by, and as you glance back in the rear view mirror the flashing street lights can still be seen. A smile flickers at the edges of your lips; you bite your bottom lip, shaking your head soundlessly, for your stomach is growling as you stare at the winding landscape, but you are just too breathless for words. Besides, taking a break to eat would subtract from the amount of time you have with him.

* * * * * * 

Every year the town bordering yours holds a somewhat "festive" Fourth of July cookout, though, to be honest, it is filled with adults ushering toddler-aged children away from the lakes, old people whining about the long walk to the grill out front, and loud, deafening music blasting from an ancient stereo system that someone brings every year. The population of people between the ages of fourteen and twenty is very few, seeing as most spend their nights out at a different party...one lacking in children and unnecessary old granny fights.

And every year, you have ended up going with your parents and younger brother to the traditional "cookout," always having to sit around and "babysit" the younger children while they throw beanbags and toss a football back and forth amongst each other. All in all, it is always a very unpleasant evening.

This year, however, now that Jonghyun is in the picture, the rest of the night doesn't seem all that gloomy. You can see it in his eyes that he really cares about you, even though this is your first technical "date." Of course, the two of you are anything but strangers.

You reach the old country house in a matter of fifteen minutes, your foot tapping impatiently against the mat of the car. The sun is barely visible, and in a matter of an hour or so fireworks will spark in into the sky and crackle into a million shades of color. You feel your heart begin to thump quickly in your chest as you brush your hair back and glance in the mirror when you think Jonghyun is no longer looking.

Ten seconds later, your back is pressed against the seat and the two of you are seated in silence as cars begin to arrive, people piling out. By the dozens, crowds are situated around tables, couples have interlaced fingers, friends are skipping near the edge of the shoreline where the sand is beginning to erode away to nothing but a thin layer of muddy soil. A cacophony of laughter penetrated through the glass as a group of girls passed by the car, a few staring back to gaze in the windshield at the boy who is supposed to be your date.

You uneasily shudder, drawing in a breath.

"We should probably get out there," you hear yourself saying, your voice mechanical and almost surreal to your ears. You brush away a strand of hair that threatens to fall into your eyes, smiling half-heartedly at the boy who is now staring back at you. His eyes are like infinite spheres of color, as if they could go on forever and still never end.

"Yeah," he agrees slowly, removing the key from the ignition and locking the door behind him. You shut the door firmly behind you, turning around to see him stuffing the car keys into his back pocket. He looks at you as if scrutinizing your appearance; this causes you to blush even more. You stammer inaudibly, muttering incoherent syllables that do not form any words of the English language, before following Jonghyun to the sand pit.

As your toes touch the freshly-chopped lawn, you can feel eyes boring holes into your back. You are now aware of the many onlookers staring at the two of you, arriving together. It seems rather absurd to you, how this is such a big deal to them. It has nothing to do with them. It is none of their business whatsoever. This date is for you and Jonghyun, for your future relationship--if there will be one, and you pray that there will be.

A smile slides through your lips as you attempt to look nonchalant to the many staring--and in some cases, glaring girls--who are holding onto the arms of their own guys. The thought startles you, unsettling your stomach just a tiny bit. It makes you feel rather disgusted, for them to not be satisfied with a guy that loves them. Must people always want more? Must they always find the need to have whatever everyone else has? It all just sounds so ridiculous to you.

Yet you ignore it as best you can. You play the ignorant card, as if you are trapped in a world in which only yourself and Jonghyun exist; everyone else is simply invisible, nonexistent. This thought has always been in your mind, buried, lodged in there when you begin to grow hopeless with every other person in the world; but now, tonight, it seems so pointless. Perhaps it is because the night seems so real, being with Jonghyun, just you and him--and the rest of the town. Maybe, for that reason, it seems like you no longer need a dream where only you and he exist.

You stand idly by the table, half listening on a conversation Jonghyun has now struck up with one of his best friends regarding a basketball game of some sorts. Seeing as you are not in the least interested in sports of any kind, you zone out. His voice still penetrates like bullets to a sheet of glass, though, as you dip your finger into a cup of what looks like beer (you honestly aren't sure) and your index finger. The taste is rather disgusting, like an exotic poison on your tongue. All around you, though, girls and boys alike are downing the cups by the handful. You shrug to yourself, thinking that you have nothing to lose, and dip a little of the contents into your mouth.

As soon as the liquid passes your lips, you feel rather sick. It tastes so incredibly disgusting, that for a moment you are urged to put it down. You glance over at Jonghyun, less than five feet away from you, and wonder why exactly he would rather socialize with his friends than you. The thought irks you, and causes you to tilt the cup back to your lips yet again. They say alcohol--and beer alike--can help you forget, right?

You swallow painfully, a lump rising in your throat as Jonghyun turns his back to you. You narrow your eyes into slits and glare at him. He is motioning with his hands about something you could care less about, while you stand beside the wall and pretend that you do not care in the least that he is completely ignoring you.

* * * * * * 

The liquor feels sickly in your stomach as you traipse on down to the pier with Jonghyun at your side. He is helping you balance, his fingers gripping your wrist. A smile is on his face; maybe he thinks that you really are drunk and that he doesn't have to worry about embarrassing himself anymore. Are you drunk? You have no idea. Tonight was the first night any type of alcohol has ever made it into your bloodstream. The feeling, at first, had been one of disgust, then a little contentment, and now, about an hour and a half later, it has turned into a kind of numbing hilarity.

"Watch out," he holds you back, as you are right about to step off the edge of the plank, almost plummeting headfirst into the lake. He catches you, his arms sliding around your waist. You are only slightly aware of this as the fireworks blast through the sky. You stare up in astonishment, a goofy grin plastered across your face as if you have never witnessed fireworks before in your life. The beer is playing tricks on you again.

The loud cracking of the light displays are roaring in your ears as he coaxes you to a wooden bench on the pier. You sit, scooting awfully close to him. You are sure he can smell the beer on your breath, instead of the half a bottle of vanilla perfume you sprayed on your clothes. He doesn't seem to mind, though, as you rest your head on his shoulder. A hand slips around your shoulders, and the two of you sit there, wordlessly--this is partially because you are not exactly sober enough to speak intelligible words--while he squeezes your fingertips. The touch of his skin feels like a burning sensation, but it flutters through your body and helps you to relax. After a little while, the word begins to regain its balance and your head stops spinning long enough so that you can make out what exactly is going on.

You lean forward, extending your legs. An imaginary rush of wind caresses your skin, blowing your hair back and causing you to smile. The vivid detailing of the sky's fireworks urges you to reach your arms up and try to grab the lights right out of the midnight--

"," Jonghyun mutters under his breath, as something pulls you back down. You look around frantically, slightly discouraged that someone has taken away your fun. Your eyes lock on him, and even in the darkness you are aware at his beauty. So beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful--

"You're beautiful," you're drunken self slurrs to him, smiling. He looks at you as if you aren't from this planet, but you don't seem to notice. He smiles softly, ducking his head down. A blush paints his cheeks now--even in the darkness you can tell that it is there.

"So are you," he replies honestly, his eyes twinkling. The lights in his eyes sparkle like the ones in the sky, causing your heart to leap higher up in your chest. Your breath catches in your throat.

Drunk or not, that is a compliment that you can identify.

You turn your head the other way as a blush now covers your cheeks, causing you to grin silently through the blackness. The gentle lapping of the waves below fills the silence that has now settled between the two of you. By now, though, you can hear the music as it blasts from the speakers, a slow song begin to protrude through the darkness.

"Dance with me?" He asks, unsure as to whether you two should or not. You nodded enthusiastically, jumping to your feet as you lose your balance. He curses under his breath and pulls you back to dry land, where you cannot fall over a pier. He rests his hands on your hips, his touch creating a warmth beneath his fingertips. You reach your arms up and place your hands onto his shoulders, hearing your heart flutter up once more in your chest.

Your hips sway gently to the music as you are slightly unaware of where you are. The information slowly drifts away, until you no longer feel like anything anymore. Your body feels as if it has become a speck of dust, a tuft of cloud, floating along in the breeze with a rhythmic beating of music to keep you afloat. The thought should chill you to the bone, but instead it comforts you, the alcohol in your being continuing to take effect.

"Your mom is going to pissed at me for getting you home drunk," he mutters under his breath. Jonghyun's eyes are closed part way, and you stare at him as if you have never seen him before in your entire life.

You laugh. It is funny. Really, it is. Drunk? You? You have never tasted beer in your life, but you'll never convince him of that. The thought causes your lips to tug upwards in amusement.

"Then don't take me home," you slur seductively, stepping closer so your chest is pressed to his. He stares at you, a little frightened at the look on your face. He pushes you away, moving his hands to your shoulders. He bends down so his eyes are in level with yours.

"Eunji," he gently shakes your frame so you focus in on him once more. You smile. He smiles back. "I think I should take you home now." The words are slowly traveling through your eardrums, mixing with the fireworks and the music. You shake your head and in a sing-song voice declare that the night isn't over yet.

He stares at you for a moment, perhaps inspecting your judgment. He sighs, defeated, grabbing your hand in his and pulling you back towards a place in the dark, away from people. Your legs carry you there, behind him, and the noise of a car beeper goes off. Before you know it, he is pushing you up into the passengers seat and closing the door. You press your face to the glass and watch the others, having the time of their lives, while you are stuck in a vehicle and are about to be driven home. He gets in after you, starting up the engine and pulling out of the gravel driveway.

"Here," he hands you a bottle of water. You stare at it, perplexed. "Drink it," he urges, rounding the bend. Turning your head back, you can still see trails of fireworks in the sky. "You'll feel better." He fumbles around in the glove compartment, slowing the car down. "And take this," he hands you a tiny pill and tells you to swallow it. You stare at it longingly. "It'll help with the headache." You are about to protest, but no longer feel the energy that you had before. The pill makes its way down your throat as you down the rest of the water.

Jonghyun pulls into your driveway. "Listen, Eunji." He draws in a breath. "I know that...this wasn't really what you had in mind or anything. And I-I'm sorry about that. But...I-I still hope that we can...you know. Go out again sometime...?" It sounds more like a question, and your drunken self nods enthusiastically, as if the idea had never crossed your mind. But oh, it had. Oh, how it had. "Really?" He asks, more so to himself than to you, yet you answer anyways with a laugh.

"Well, yeah, ," you smile through your bloodshot eyes. Exactly what time is it, anyways? "Of course I would." He knows you meant to be funny, and after a moment he smiles in return. You rub your eyes sleepily and he helps you out of the car. The porch steps seem so far away at the moment, but he leads you up them. As soon as your foot hits the porch you collapse, falling onto his chest. You freeze there, your mind rolling through fifty million scenarios all at one time. (Some of them not exactly applicable to this period of time). A vision of you seated in his car, hours earlier; a scene of you laughing hysterically at nothing in particular; an image of just your hands, intertwined with his. It all rushes through your head, and before you now it your lips feel something against them. You look in front of you, at the beautiful boy standing before you on the porch steps. His lips are pressing to yours, and no matter how drunk you are you will never forget this moment in time. Your first kiss...

His breath tastes good--not at all like beer, you don't think--and you can only imagine how horrific yours tastes on his lips. Yet you let him pull you closer, holding your body to his chest. Your parents are somewhere inside, expecting you to be home. Your feet are planted in this very spot, though, and in this spot they will stay.