Not Over You-1

Kikwang thought that he was doing the right thing by breaking up with Eunji, turns out that he was wrong. Now she's with another guy and he's still crying over her. Even fans are starting to notice that he's not the same person he used to be but it dosesn't help that he can't get her out of his head even when he tries going out with another girl.

Finally tired of having to listen to his bitterness, Hyunseung and Yoseob send the one person Kikwang never thought he'd talk to again to make things right.

It never crossed my mind at all

That's what I tell myself

What we had has come and gone

You're better off with someone else

It is for the best

I know it is

But I see you

"Jung Eunji’s album is now entering its fifth week at the top of the charts, toping Beast’s Good Luck" Yoseob looked over at Kikwang and immediately shut the T.V. off, noticing his pained expression. Kikwang got up and walked up the stairs to his room. He didn't know why just hearing her name hurt so much. He was the one who broke up with her. He was the one who should've moved on first.

Unfortunately this wasn't the case. No matter how much he tries to convince himself that he doesn't really think about her and how happy he was with her it's no use. She's everywhere and he can't escape. "Its better this way....she'll be happier without me, with someone else. She'll be free." Kikwang muttered to himself. He grabbed his camera and started flipping through the pictures of them together and smiled, falling back onto his bed. His smile faltered as he thought about the last time he saw her. They were at Taemin's Rockin' New Years Eve. She looked so beautiful.

Sometimes I try to hide

What I feel inside

And I turn around

You're with him now

I just can't figure it out

He was hoping that maybe they could talk and at least become friends again after that if not something more. But then he saw her with him. She was hugging him so tightly and she looked so happy. It broke his heart seeing that, she looked just as happy as she had with him if not more. Then she sang that song, Forever and Always by Taylor Swift.

When it was time to watch the ball drop he couldn't help but to keep looking over at her. A few times she caught him looking and he forced a smile to try and hide the pain he was feeling. He guessed it worked because she just smiled back and turned away from him. He felt Bomi touch his arm in a comforting manner and he tried to smile but couldn't bring himself to give her a very convincing one. His brothers thought it would be a good idea to invite Bomi because she was one of his best friends and thought that he would need her to help him through being in the same place as Eunji.

It didn't work and as much as he appreciated her trying to help it was getting kind of annoying. Couldn't she see that he didn't want to deal with it now? He looked out to the crowd and spotted the guy that Eunji had been with before. He couldn't figure it out. How could she move on and find someone else when he was the one who broke up their relationship and he was still hoping for a chance of getting back together?

Tell me why

You're so hard to forget

Don't remind me

I'm not over it

Tell me why

I can't seem to face the truth

I'm just a little too not over you

A knock at the door brought Kikwang out of his thoughts and he got up to answer the door. Yoseob and Hyunseung stood there with worried faces. "Hey man, you okay?" Hyunseung asked. Kikwang rolled his eyes and spat back "Does it look like I'm ok? It's been months and I still can't even hear her name without feeling like I'm going to cry! How could one girl be this hard to forget?!" Yoseob put his hand on Kikwang's shoulder and sat on the bed next to him. "Just relax you'll get over her soon. You just have to stop torturing yourself with things like this" Yoseob said and nodded toward the picture of her on his nightstand. Kikwang glared and shrugged his brothers’ hand off of him. "If it was that easy to do don't you think I would've done it already? I've tried to stop thinking about her but even if I throw away all her pictures she'll still be everywhere! People as about her in interviews the fact that her album is amazing is always being mentioned," He got up and grabbed his laptop and went onto their YouTube page and scrolled down to the comments section. "People still leave comments on all of our YouTube pages and stuff about her and how I was an for breaking up with her over the phone! They don't even know the whole story and yet I'm getting hate. Have the even thought that maybe I did it for her so that she didn't always have to be so secretive and follow Disney's ing rules!" Yoseob sighed and got up. "Just try to move on. She's not everywhere, just in your mind and it's about time you open your eyes and realize that." With that Yoseob and Hyunseung left the room and left Kikwang to his thoughts.

Memories suppose to fade

What's wrong with my heart

Shake it off let it go

Didn't think it would be this hard

Should be strong, moving on

But I see you

Kikwang grabbed his camera and started looking through his pictures again. After a few minutes he came to one of Eunji and him at a party. Them and all of they're friends were squished on the couch smiling and making funny faces at the camera except them. They were looking at each other with their foreheads pressed together like they were about to kiss. Kikwang smiled when he thought about that day. That was the day they had their first kiss and the day they had gotten together. It had been during a game of Spin the Bottle and when he spun the bottle just happened to land on her. It defiantly wasn't like in the movies where their lips would meet and it was like they were the only two people in the world. They were very aware of everyone watching them, not to mention the fact that they were best friends and didn't think the liked each other that way.

Later that night though they got to talking and decided that they would try dating and see where it went. They were like Noah and Allie from the Notebook; they disagreed about everything and they fought all the time but when it came down to it they wouldn't want it any other way. The next picture was of them at the beach. It looked like it was going to rain so they were still fully dressed and prepared to leave should it actually start to rain but despite the weather they were all smiles. She was had been wearing a scarf that day and she was holding it up in the air so that it flew behind her like a cape. It looked like wings and Kikwang couldn't help but think that hadn't been white she would've looked like an angel. "No" he whispered, "She looks like an angel anyway."

Kikwang stopped flipping through the pictures for a second and looked up at the ceiling. "Yoseob is right. I have to stop this. I'm just torturing myself and that's not going to help me forget." He whispered and forced himself to put the camera down. Picking up his phone he looked through his contacts looking for someone who might be able to help hi get over Eunji. Kikwang stopped at Chorong Song's name. He figured that if Eunji can move on by finding someone new to be with so should he. He pressed call and waited for her to pick up the phone.

Sometimes I try to hide

What I feel inside

And I turn around

You're with him now

I just can't figure it out

After it rang for the third time Kikwang was about to hang up and try someone else but just as he was pulling the phone from his ear he heard her voice on the other line. "Hello?" She said although it sounded more like a question and she couldn't believe someone was actually calling her. "Hey, it's Kikwang. You know, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime this week. I'm free and got nothing to do." He said. Suddenly he felt embarrassed like it was his first time asking a girl out.

"Sure. Where do you want to go?" Came her reply. About half an hour later they were at Pinkberry laughing and having a good time. For the first time in a while Kikwang was actually having fun and not torturing himself.

"Thanks for agreeing to meet me here. I've been having a pretty awful time lately with the breakup and all." Kikwang told Chorong with a smile. He assumed she knew what he was talking about considering everyone knew about him and Eunji. Chorong said something in reply but he didn't hear because no sooner than he said that did Eunji walk through the door with the guy she was with on New Years.

"Kikwang? Kikwang? KIKWANG?!" Chorong asked in a worried tone. Kikwang tore his eyes away from them to look at her. "Yeah?" Kikwang asked suddenly feeling like he just wanted to curl up in his bed and never come out. Chorong didn't answer. Instead she frowned and looked at where he was looking just a second ago. formed and O shape and said

"Why don't we just go home. Obviously this wasn't a good day to come here." Kikwang just nodded suddenly not having the energy to do much else. He stood up and nearly ran towards the door in hopes of getting out of there without being seen. Eunji looked over and just as Kikwang was about to get the other half of his body out the door she whispered his name just loudly enough for him to hear.

"Kikwang?" He looked over at her and tried to smile but it came out looking like a lopsided frown.

"Hey Eunji" Kikwang said just as quietly as she said his name and ran out the door before he broke down right there.

Tell me why

You're so hard to forget

Don't remind me

I'm not over it

Tell me why

I can't seem to face the truth

I'm just a little too not over you

Kikwang sat in his car and grabbed the wheel so tight that his knuckles started to turn white. Tears were streaming down his face and he couldn’t seem to stop them. Kikwang sat back and tried to wipe his face so that he didn’t seem like such a wreck when he said goodbye to Chorong but failed miserably. Right before he got out she tapped his window so he just rolled it down so that he didn’t have to get out of the car for fear that he’d end up falling onto the floor and crying like a little kid whose parents would by them a toy they really wanted.

“Sorry for just running out like that but I couldn’t be in there and see her with some other guy. I guess I’m just not ready for another relationship yet. Even though it’s been like three months.” He mumbled to her. She smiled down at him understandingly and said, “It’s fine. I understand. Maybe you should talk to her though. I don’t know why you guys broke up but it must not have been worth it if your still crying like this and you’re the one who ended the relationship.

Maybe I regret

Everything I said

No way to take it all back

Yeah

Now I'm on my own

How I let you go

I'll never understand

Yeah, ohhh

Once again Kikwang was lying on his bed camera in hand, Hyunseung and Yoseob sitting with him and trying to comfort him. The difference between this time and the others; he was crying and he hadn’t stopped since he had gotten into his car after running out of Pinkberry.

“This is never going to stop is it? I’m going to be forced to live with the regret of breaking up with the best thing that’s ever happened to me for the rest of my life and she’s just going to forget about me and never look back isn’t she?” Kikwang asked his brothers wishing he could turn back time and take back every bad thing he’d ever done to her and stop himself from making the biggest mistake of his life. Unfortunately, there was no way he could do that. The worst part of it was, not only did he break up with her over the phone but the last few weeks of their relationship he treated her horribly. He talked about other girls like all he wanted was , he avoided her calls, and he ignored her even when they were face to face. He thought maybe if she thought of him as an she wouldn’t feel so bad about him breaking up with her and it would keep him from feeling bad about breaking up with her because he’d be doing her a favor. He also thought that it’d be a good way to get a head start on moving on.

Obviously he was dead wrong about that. Now she thinks of him as an , moved on with some other guy, and he’s still crying over her. He didn’t understand how he could’ve possibly thought it was a good idea to let her go like he did. She was his life and he just pushed her away. Suddenly their mom’s voice came from downstairs calling up to him.

“Kikwang, someone is here to see you!” He buried his face into his pillow and yelled back a muffled, “I don’t want to see anybody right now!” He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and figured his mom ignored him and sent whoever it was up anyway. “Could you go and tell whoever it is to go away and come back some other time when I don’t feel like killing myself for making worst choice possible?” Kikwang growled to his brothers.

Hyunseung and Yoseob shared a look and sighed. “Sure thing bro.” Hyunseung told his brother. Kikwang closed his eyes but reopened them when he heard his brothers say that he was in his room rather than sending the person away like they said they would. He got up to go tell the person to leave himself but froze when he saw Eunji standing at his door.

Tell me why

You're so hard to forget

Don't remind me

I'm not over it

Tell me why

I can't seem to face the truth

I'm just a little too not over you

‘Oh god, what is she doing here?’ Kikwang thought to himself. He opened his mouth to say something but no words would come out of his mouth so he closed it again. He did this several times before he decided he probably looked like an idiot and just closed his mouth altogether. “I’m honestly not sure why I came here. When I saw you earlier you ran out so fast and I just felt like I needed to see how you were and Yoseob and Hyunseung thought it would be a good idea if I talked to you.” She spoke quietly and looked at the floor while she was talking.

He glared at her suddenly feeling angry that she would come here to rub it in his face that she moved on and came up here even when she knew he hadn’t. “You act like you really care how I feel about this whole thing,” Kikwang spat. She looked up her eyes wide with shock “Of course I care. Why wouldn’t I care if your unhappy? I still care about you even though were not together anymore. You’re lucky I still care I could be with my boyfriend right now rather. I didn’t have to come over to see if your ok, especially since you treated me so badly.” She said.

“Yeah right. If you cared then you would’ve answered the phone when I wanted to apologize, if you cared you wouldn’t have made that video, and if you cared you wouldn’t have bashed me like you did on reality show! You’re just here to rub it in my face that you’ve moved on and I’m still crying over you alone.” Kikwang turned around and started to walk back to his bed when something registered in his head.

“Wait, boyfriend?” He whispered afraid to hear the answer. He had been clinging to the hope that whatever she had with that guy wasn’t serious enough for them to really be considered boyfriend and girlfriend. “Yeah. We’ve been together for a while now.” She answered slowly.

Kikwang felt sick again. That was it. There was no chance for them to get back together anymore. He collapsed on his bed and started crying again. “Kikwang? Are you ok?” Eunji asked worriedly. She came over and sat on the edge of the bed and started to rub his back in a soothing manner.

“How could I be ok when I made the biggest mistake of my life and broke up with the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and she’s already moved on leaving me in the dust?” He paused to take a deep breath, “Eunji I still love you. I know you probably don’t believe me but I do. Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of my life and if there was any way I could take it back I would because I don’t know what to do without you. I’ve tried and tried to forget about you but it doesn’t work. Why are you so damn hard to forget about?!” Kikwang cried, getting louder and louder until he was practically shouting.

Tell me why

You're so hard to forget

Don't remind me

I'm not over it

Tell me why

I can't seem to face the truth

And I really don't know what to do

I'm just a little too not over you

Eunji put her arms around him and just held him. “I don’t know how to help you. The only thing I can think of that could make you feel better is us getting back together but I’m not sure if I can do that.” She said.

Kikwang calmed down and sat up. He wiped his face dry and grabbed her hand. “Please Eunji. One more chance and I promise you won’t regret it. One more chance and I’ll make you happier than any other guy ever could. I just need one chance.” Eunji looked down at their hands and was silent for a minute. She close her hand tighter around Kikwang’s and looked up at him smiling,

“Ok. I’ll end things with Key as soon as I get home.” She whispered. Kikwang’s head shot up and he smiled bigger than Eunji thought possible for a person. He was sure that her silence meant no but thankfully he was wrong. He leaned in towards her and rested his forehead against hers and took her other hand in his. Finally he didn’t feel like there was a whole where his heart should’ve been. Finally it was ok that he couldn’t bring himself to get over Eunji because now she was his again.

Not over you, ooh oh…