KAI

Another night filled up with dreams about my mother. When I was seventeen my mother lost her job. After months of looking for a new job I saw her hanging out with weird people. As time passed we had less and less money. During weekends I worked at the nearest petrol station, trying to help her…

One time when I came back from school I found her unconscious on the sofa. Firstly I thought she was sleeping but I noticed white  powder on the table. I got furious and rinsed everything in the toilet. When she woke up she yelled at me telling that I was her biggest mistake, that she never wanted me.

I know she was high and out of her mind but her words hurt like nothing else. I escaped from home thinking that this will make her regret those words. Few days later I heard about her overdosing. Thankfully she didn’t die but her condition was still bad. I told myself that it was my fault that she almost lost her life. That if I was home I could’ve stop her…

When she got better the court sentenced her to take a rehab. I visited her every Sunday and hoped for her recovery. However whenever she saw me her eyes didn’t show any signs of happiness but stayed cold and absent. After few two months of seeing her I stopped going there.

Soon I also stopped going to school cuz everyone kept on murmuring about me and I couldn’t take it. Police started coming to my home, trying to put me in an orphanage until I reach maturity. I escaped again and loitered around Soul for hours… days… months… until I’ve met him.

I remember that it was raining that day. People were walking with their umbrellas around me while I’ve been sitting on a bench totally drenched. Suddenly a black van stopped in front of me. The doors opened and three guys came out.

“We’ve been looking for you Kai-sshi.” One of them said to dazed me. The other two grabbed my hands and I pulled me inside the car. I was so shocked I couldn’t even scream.

The put an adhesive tape on my lips, blindfolded me and tied my hands. Abandoned production hall was the next thing I saw. I could’ve get scared but my life was a misery at that time and… I stopped caring about what was going to happen to me a long time ago.

“We’ve been looking for your mother Kai-sshi.” They said. “She’ve ordered our goods and didn’t pay for them. So my question is where is she?”

What they said made me laugh “You found me but still you don’t know where she is? I don’t think she’s not gonna pay you anything.” I said calmly while looking at his leader’s eyes and one of them hit my head.

“You’ve got some guts boy.” The leader laughed. “I like it.”

Those were the guys who caused my family’s despair. I couldn’t hate them more but they were the only ones who helped me to turn a corner.

“You’ll work off your mother’s debt or… we’ll change your life in hell.” The leader said with a smirk on his lips.

If I said no to them who knows where I would be today.  I’ve became one of them. I disagreed to sell drugs and since our leader liked me a lot, he let me to do other things, like chasing after money borrowers.

It wasn’t right… but living with them made me feel as if I got back the control over my life.

I took a shower and my laptop. Then I’ve checked ‘Mrs. Lee’ current location. Seeing where she was right now made me sure where I’ll beable to find her.

How are you going to look at me today? Will you be scared? annoyed? Or will I see a glimpse of happiness in your eyes?

CL

I woke up at dawn and didn’t find Minseok next to me. My whole body felt sore. I got up and automatically started searching for him. I peeked inside one of the rooms and saw Tao sleeping on his tummy. He was mumbling something in Chinese. I smiled wholeheartedly and closed the door.

Then I continued looking for Minseok… but what I was going to say to him? Why did I want to find him so desperately?

One of the doors where slightly open. I gently opened them and glanced in. Here he was… My heart skipped a beat when I saw his figure thanks to first sun beams coming through the window. He stood there with his suit pants on and was picking a fresh shirt out of his closet. Firstly I could only see his shadow against the window but when my eyes adjusted I saw his upper body.

I gasped to loud and he looked my way frowning. His porcelain white skin made him look perfect and almost unreal. He literally took my breath away but that wasn’t what made me gasp.

His back and chest were filled with different length and sizes of scars. After seeing me stare at him like that he quickly wore a new shirt on.

“Did you sleep well?” Minseok asked and started buttoning up. His voice was cold as ice. I took few steps closer to him and looked at him with an aching heart. He stopped buttoning up his shirt after seeing my concerned face. “Don’t look at me that way.” he said and I could hear his voice breaking.

“Who did this to you?” I asked and gently caressed a scar on his stomach. He said nothing and simply looked down on me.

I desperately hugged him after seeing him clamming up before me again. I felt mine and his heart beat speeding up. “Tell me…” I cried. He grabbed my wrists and tried to untie them behind his back. I felt his hot breath on my neck below ear.

“I’ll  tell Tao to drive you home.” He said coldly again. I felt his grip around my wrist tightening. I couldn’t oppose his strength. When he let go of me, my arms fell loose on both sides of my body.

“I’m sorry… I went overboard.” I sniffled and tried to hold back my tears.

“Get ready and I’ll send Tao to you.” he said and walked away.

XIUMIN

I run away from her and hid in one of the bathrooms.  What is that pain in my chest? I thought while staring at my reflection in the mirror. Why did she have to see me looking like that? I touched one of the scars and hung my head down.

“I’m disgusting…”

CL

I was sitting on the couch in the living room feeling torn apart inside. Why were you so desperate Lee Chaerin? I thought but still wrote my number on a piece of paper form my notebook and left it on the coffee table.

I laughed at my own hopelessness. You’re nothing else but a nuisance to him. What were you even expecting? I managed to dry my tears when Tao appeared.

He drove me back to my block in complete silence. “He’s not a bad person” Tao said and tried to smile at me when the car stopped. I nodded and got off saying bye.

The sight of my block made me came back to reality. I looked around and took a deep breath. I wanted to pack some of my clothes and rush to Dara’s place. I texted her that I’ll be coming and she even proposed to help me but I said no… I knew it could’ve been too dangerous.

I searched for my key and was about to open the doors but my hands began to shake uncontrollably. I couldn’t even put the key i