I don't really enjoy the rest of my day. I feels stuffed and sad and dissapointed and curious and don't want to care but i care for it too much.
I know that this kind of things is always happening to someone like me, you being loved, you being hated. Yeah, i know it well, i see it so much in this industry.
I keep watching the TV, while it some snack. I'll dieting later.
I really want to talk to Sehun, but i know that he's really busy right now. You know they come up on tv oftenly, cfs, variety show, radio show, concert, music program, they come out almost everywhere.
I don't want to disturb him, and make him worried aboout me.

at 7 in the night, i hear a door bell ringing on my apartment. Who could that be, if that my manager, i'll just tell him that i'm sick and don't want to go out, well i don't have any schedule for tonight.
I came to the door and open it.
" Are you ok?" He talk fastly while looking at my face.
" Eh? " This is so shocking, when you find your famous boyfriend in front of your door.
Some people come out from the elevator, and i pull Sehun's hand quickly to my living room, his hand is cold.
" I'm sorry, i just read the article a while ago." He talk to me while standing, i feel confused and surprised.
He never really been here, inside my home. Because we know that can be a reason for this things going wrong, what if people find out.
" why are you here?" I just talk with a low voice to him.
" I'm asking you first, are you ok?"
I'm getting angry because i'm worried of his behaviour, so carelessly come here.
" ok with what? about the article or about you coming here?" I talk to him with higher tone.
He just standing in front of me, not talking.
" How could you come here? you come to my apartment, dressing like this? exposing your face and hair? you don't know there's a bunch of cctv in here? do you know that some people from our industry is living in the same building with me?"
I talk to him, quickly with a husky voice.
" And this is only 7pm, i bet a lot of people recognize you."
" so you're not ok with me coming here, and how abot the article?" He talk to me with low voice.
" I'm fine, totally fine! " i talk to him with loud voice, i really want to cry right now, you know i'm not fine about that.
" You must know, that kind of things and hate comments from people always there, for you to read. That's no a big deal, we're a celebrity, not every people loving you. I'm fine."
I talk to him with low voice, this is the first time i'm telling a lie to Sehun, i don't want him to worried and do stupid things because of me.

" Allright." He nod and walking to my kitchen.
" Where do you put ramen? i'm hungry." He start to cooking and searching my shelf on the kitchen.
Sehun is a man that i can't classified, he's really out of the box. The way he think, the way he acts. like right now.
I'm folowing him to the kitchen, and when he find the ramen. I take it away from him quickly.
" Just Leave ." I talk to him while looking down, i don't have any courage to looking him in the eye.
He turn off the stove and walk away behind me.
" do you want to watch a dvd? horror? comedy? where do you put them." He start to search the self around my tv.
I take a deep breath, and start to wipe my tears, i'm crying. The reason? i don't even know.