For me live as an idol for this past 3 years, is exciting yet heartbreaking. I'm lucky that i never have a huge scandal or incident that happened to me.
Some people is barely survive in this industry, but one fact that you must know about idol life is, the internet feels like a torture for me, wether i do a good joob or a poor job.
There's always be someone who hates everything what you do.  
Actually, i have an active SNS account that i used to communicate with my fans. I use it quite wisely.
But yes, there's always be some people who hates you, that's a fact.
I'm usually avoiding the internet, because i don't really like what happened in there.
But one time, i'm at home and looking to my laptop, i just start to online shopping, and i find my name in number one ranking search.
This is rare, well i have my name in number one ranking search countless times, but if i just sit at my home doing nothing but my name is in there, that's rare.
I click my name with so much curiousity. And when i did that, there's one article that pop out, it's sort of like a poll.
The title is " K-pop idol who do you think is being left out by his/her group"
I click that article and find some comments from people.

Suzy, because she's the most popular.

Suzy, because she's more succesfull, and the others hating her

You're right, i think other members is hating her

Suzy, she looks awkward with other members

She always full by herself

The beggining of this forums is a poll, but now it turn to be a forum that bashing me.

She's annoying, she keeps showed up everywhere.

At first, i like her but now i'm getting bored with her

I don't know why people looking at her, and said that everybody loves her

Actually i can find some of the good comments from my fans who depending me, but that's not matter, we always see the worst first right.
I start to think, if this comments is true, people can see it even i can feel that i have so much work to do than my  members.
Is it true that they hating me?
But in the last page of that forums, there's one comment who really drive me into a heartbreaking mode.

I feel sorry for other MissA members for having Suzy, she just like a wall that holding up other members for doing well.

That comment was short, but strong enough for having me cry. There's a reason for everythings because most of time, when an offer come to us, people will talk to my management that they want me.
There's one time that Jia onnie wanted to do it badly, but she can't because they want me instead of her.
Yeah, that happened a lot to me. And yeah i'm suffering because things like this.