I'm quite enjoying all the performance so far, it makes me remember several years ago when i performing and winning an award on this event.
My group is win an award before, not really a big award but yeah we receive it, and i'm so happy. And my dream is to receive the award in the end of the show.
EXO is perform in a minute, I choose to call Sehun. I'm not sure if he has his phone though.
" Hello?" I can hear his voice from the phone, this is my first time hearing her voice in a week.
" You still have your phone? you'll performing right?" I ask him, because this is odd.
" I'm holding my phone like all day, waiting for your call. I didn't think you'll come." He talk to me with some excitement.
" I promised you."
" Where are you? are you sure you'll be fine? there's no one who recognize you? "
" i'm in section D, on the corner. Yes for now, i'm fine. I don't know if people recognoze me or not." I talk to him with louder voice.
" If something bad happened, just scream and i'll come to you." He talk to me while laughing.
" impossible."
" Just wait."
" My seat is too far away, from the stage, i'll running away before you come." I talk to him while smiling.
" allright, see you later, watching me well, Suzy-ya."
" Sehun-a! can you look at me while you perform?" I ask him with a low voice so carefully.
" Section D? Ok." He cutting off the phone after talking like that.

10 minutes later, EXO is starting they performance. They first shown up on the big screen, look they have shoot for this VCR. There's an artist who together with them.
After shown the VCR, EXO members is on the stage right now. They come out with strong concept, dancing in a desk. I can find Sehun, with a gray suit and tie. He looks super handsome.
They performing their Growl song, Sehun is really looks good, and in the middle of the song, i can find his eyes is on section D, he gaze to my section for a while, i bet he can't find me.
But you must know section D people, that gaze is for me.
They performance is have quite a long duration 11 minute, my group never perform that long before.

After exo performance is ended, i stay on my seat and enjoy the rest of the show. I see other idol groups is receiving an award. I don't realize before that i want to receive it again with my members.
I have receive a lot of awards, but that barely from my acting career, and that's only for me not my members.
I find my self is looking sadly at the stage. watching this award is quite heartbreaking actually.

Finally, the show is come to an end. The last award is ready to present . Album of the year award.
This award is feel like the most pretigue awards, the most valuable and i really want this award with my members.
The award is presented so well, trolling so much fans of the artist, i'm excited as well.
" EXO " I can hear the winner name, and people looks so much happy, exo's fans.
and me? i'm really surprised, i know they're really popular but i don't know they will win this so fast.
I'm watching them give their speech one by one, i feel proud for Sehun really proud.
And when he start grabing the mic and give his speech, i don't know my heart sligthly feel hurt.

i'm jealous for him, for being on that stage, receive the award, with all s.
and i suddenly feel like, he's the one who became the next generation idol and i'm not.
I think i act like a bad people for being jealous with him, i feel proud and then i feel jealous for him. But you know, that article from a week ago still have strong impact for me.
about the word that said, i'm the one who doing well and my members is not
when i find Sehun there enjoying the award with all s, i'm jealous of him.