The next day is the first live broadcast for gayo daejun, in SBS. I'll meet Sehun in there for sure.
after my manager leave yesterday, i cried all night long, i don't know what to do, my heart is super hurt, i can't even sleep.
So here i am, rehearsing with my members while using a giant sunglasses, because my eyes is swolen.
Thankfully, i'm doing my rehearsal smoothly, i still don't see Sehun, i really wish that i'm not seeing him tonight.
I start my preparation for tonight with my staff, stage costume, make up, everythings.
I'll need to sing in the opening stage, with other idols.
At first i was really surprised when realized that EXO members, Baekhyun oppa and D.O oppa is standing beside me.
I feel awkward, i'm wondering if they know about me and Sehun or no. That awkward and nervous feeling is making me forget my part to sing.
And the worst thing is they're the one who give me a sign for sing.

This show is having three hours duration, we take turn to perform on stage, and as you know like you saw on TV, all the artist is sitting in one area of the stage, together.
Sehun? he definitely there with s. at the beggining of the show, he wear a black suit and sit in the edge of the spot, quiet far away from mine.
we're really good for not showing any sign in front of other people about our relationship. In here he just like my hoobae EXO's Sehun.

Sehun will be performing in the second part of the show, the very begining, and when we take a resest time. He calling me and ask me if i want to meet him.
" Marry me?" He start the conversation with that sentence again.
" no." i just answer him shortly.
" meet me, then."
" I can't, i have something going on with my performance we really need to prepare for it." I talk to him, and make up some excuse.
" really?" he sound suspicious while talking to me.
" your performance is coming in no time though, good luck." I just hang up the phone after talking like that.

when the second part of the show starting, EXO is perform in the very begining, i can't take my eyes off of Sehun.
He looks really good, over all, their performance is good, but Sehun, i can see something shining in his eyes.
He looks enjoying his stage, his dance is powerful, i can see years of his hard work on that movement.
and i realized, there's nothing that can we use for an exchange of this dream. nothing, even love.

I perform with my members after that, i told Sehun there's something going on with my performance when is not.
So after my performance is end, later at night, after the show is end. Sehun text me a message.

There's no such as special performance right? are you avoiding me, right now?