I can see Sehun is looking at me with surprised expression.
" i'm so bad, right? i don't even want to congratulate you because that award i want it so badly for miss A, but you receiving it first."
I feel ashamed after talking like that, i start to have a teary eyes.
" Suzy-ya.." Sehun start to talk but i cut it off.
" But don't worry, i finally realized that i'm wrong, i shouldn't be like that. so that day i want to meet you so badly and congratulate you and say sorry to you, but you refuse to see me."
I talk to him while crying right now, yeah i think my make up will ruined by now.
" I'm sorry." Sehun seems surprised for see me cry and start hugging me while rub my hair.
" i was really dissapointed too when see you acted so childish like that, so i just can't hold my anger and i don't want to meet you either." He talk to me.
" i feel bad and ashamed by my self, for being so annoying." I talk to him again with husky voice and wiping my tears.
" yeah, you're so annoying."
" I know." I pull my head from his arm.
" you know, when you talk to me about don't call me if you still annoying." I reenact that scene when he told me that before leave me.
" I feel so scared, i'm crying all night because of that."
" really?"
I give him a quick nod.
" you look so scary."
" But suzy-ya, about the award? do you really feel bad about that?" Sehun is back to the topic of MAMA.
" i don't know, i guess i just feel unfair because i'm debuting first than you and i don't know, i really like to enjoy my times with my members in the stage like you did."
He looks serious for hearing my story.
" And after that, i just becoming greedy and really want to disturb you with being annoying.
" Suzy-ya, i hope you don't feel that way anymore, you're good too, you're the best." Sehun talk to me while pat my head .

I'm enjoying my time with Sehun and playing online games with him.
He decide to go home at the midnight.
" Sehun-a there's one thing that i need to tell you." I talk to him in front of my door.
" what is it?"
" I'm afraid, i think i'm loving you too much right now, i don't have any courage to let you go, if i really need to."
I talk to him with a low and husky voice.
" you don't need to." He talk to me while smiling.
" you know, we will."
" well, not for now. don't worry, you know i love you too." He talk to me and pat my head.
" I don't know, you never said it."
" Really?"
i reply him with a quick nod.
" i'll say it later." he pat my hair once again and start to walking away from my door.