falling Down and Hurt again
DO YOU KNOW.. MY WISHLIST..??
HYOSUNG POV
I Walked into my class, without bother to replied all greets by my classmates, I slammed down my body on my chair and sighed, I am so damn tired.
“you’re here” greeted Yoseob, I just nod and looked at infront class, Yoseob sighed and looked at where I was staring.
We were fall silent again, I was busy with my thought, remember about our convertation last night, he say he do love me.. and he want me to wait for him.. but.. can I..??, I really love him too, I was happy when he said those words.. but still I should forget about him.. at least from now on.
“baby..!!”I turned my eyes at Gikwang who was standing in the door and waved his hand at me while smiling widely, I smiled back and stood up about to walked toward him, but suddenly Yoseob’s grabbed my wrist, I looked at him startled, yoseob looked back at me and shook his head, I glanced at Gikwang nervously who was staring at our hands.
“yoseub-ssi let go..”I hissed, Yoseob just silent still being a stubborn he is don’t want to let go off me, Gikwang quickly walked toward us and grabbed my hand before pushed Yoseob’s hand away, he send a glare at Yoseob and quickly dragged me out of the class.
He kept dragging me until we stopped in corridor, I looked at him while he glaring at me.
“what was that about..???” he asked, I can clearly hear the anger in his somehow calm voice, I narrowed my eyes and shook my head.
“what is your mean…?? There is nothing” I answered, Gikwang hissed before pushed me against the wall and trapped me between his arms, I frown.. what happen to him just now..
“are you really that stupid or what..? there is nothing.. you said” he said in low tone, I was stunned at his behavior “why are you let him holding your hand like that…you said you want to forget everything about him.. do you even remember your promise ??” I looked at his angry eyes and pushed his hands away.
“its nothing Gikwang-ah.. I’ll back at class” I answered and about to walked but once again he grabbed my wrist and forcing me to looked at him, I sighed irritated.
“What is your problem..??” I asked annoyance, Gikwang looked at me sharply.
“I am not finish yet.. you’re promise you’ll forget about him, are you forgotten about that..?? why did you let him touched you again” I gritted my teeth in angry, I don’t know what into him right now.
“mind your own business Lee Gikwang..!!!, don’t even try to lecturing me.. you’re know I love Yoseob, beside You’re in love with Jieun right…??, so why are you being like this..” I shouted at him, Gikwang was shock, suddenly he ruffled his hair frustrated, and then glared at me
“me…?? angry..?? WHY..??” he asked while pointed his finger at himself “are you really do not understand Why am I like this..?? my care toward you never make you realized..are you never understand me.…??” he yelled at me, I was stunned, this is second time he get angry with me and I don’t really want it.
“Gikwang…..wae..??..I’m sorry okay.. don’t be like this..” I said softly try to calm him down, but Gikwang just glared at me then push my hand away before went away, I was dumbfounded, why is he looks so angry like this.
“just one person could make him angry like that..”I said to myself “is he already know about Jieun’s..??” maybe it was true.. after all just Jieun who could make him angry like this, I sighed.
“I am sorry Gikwang-ah” I whispered and went back to my class.
*************
“noona..where is yoseub hyung..??” Asked Myungsoo lazily sat next to me.
“Hospital..” I respond without bother to looked at him, but I can felt this Myungsoo kid was staring at me like there is no tomorrow, I sighed uncomfortably.
“are you always this stupid noona” he asked with mocked smiled,I just shrugged lazily.
“aren’t you jealous..??” I felt silent and slowly turn around facing Myungsoo.
“jealous..??’ for what..??” I answered bitterly, Myungsoo chuckled.
“noona you’re such an Idiot..” I sighed, Myungsoo continued.
“of course you should be jealous, hyung is your Husband after all.. but looks what he did.. he left you for another girl.. how poor you” I looked at Myungsoo, My heart hurt again.
“mind your own business..you’re just a kid Myungsoo” I said try to suppress my emotion, Myungsoo laughed and reached out his hand, touching my hair with sarcasm smiles plestered on his lips.
“kid..?? me..?? how funny” he said cynically “you’re the kid in here Noona.. without realizing you’re hurting many hearts..just give up Noona, Yoseob Hyung is Jieun’s noona, can’t you understand that..” I gritted my teeth and slap his hand away.
“why..?? do you like her too...??” I asked, Myungsoo looks taken aback with my sudden question.
“pity you.. You can’t have her too..why always her.. everybody choose to loves her..everybody all over her..to be honest I feel so jealous, and you.. just get lost.. because Jieun’s never will be yours..” I added and walked away leaving Dumbfound Myungsoo behind.
**************
I walked silently toward my class, but immediately stopped as soon my eyes meets Jieun’s..she was looked at me with a smile on her lips, her face looks so pale.
“how are you..??” she greeted me, I still silent staring at her, suddenly she approach me and hugged me, I can felt her burning skin around me.
“J-Jieun-ah..?? are you okay..” I stammered, Jieun just shook her head but still smile like usual.
“gwaenchana.. two months again we’ll left this school, I should be together with you guys.. at least until those two months, even though I’ll never insert the college with you all..I will still happy because these two months” she said softly, I looked at her sadly, yeah.. still four months more her’s ages..… I still can’t believe this happen, In my mind Jieun’s is a strong girl, she will never be like this.
“hyo-ah, can we tried to forget everything, including our problem in these two months.. ehm..I mean these four months.. honestly I still can’t believe this.. I still want to live more than just four months.. get married and having two childs..,but this fate sayin’ something else..” she said calmly, but I knew she was sad.. and its make my heart hurt too.
“of course.., I will always with you Jieun-ah, Gikwang too and yoseub too..he will always with you” I said, and give her a smile, Jieun’s smile vanished immediately as Yoseob’s name appear.
“Thank You Hyosung..and.. I am sorry” she said weakly, I smiled and hugged her gently.
“its okay..” I heard her sobs and caress her hair.
“don’t cry okay.. I am fine..”
**************
Two months pass and nothing bad happen, Jieun looked fine although she always back to the Hospital sometimes, but until now we’ve nothing to worry about.
But even she always smiling, I knew this girl is not strong like what all people thought, she always cry when no one around her, but still she act like she was okay.
And about Yoseob.. like usual always acting like we’re fine and our married life was okay.. showing to other that we were fine and happy, sometimes I feel sad and jealous but everytime I almost fall Jieun’s smiles rescue me, I want to hold this pain just to myself... about Gikwang, we’re still a couple or looks like that, he always there for me, make me felt happy and comfortable, but.. still in deep of my heart Yoseob’s name always appear, and I knew I can’t forget him or removed his presence in my life, my heart still for him, that just make me feel so hurt and sorry for Gikwang.
MyungSo..what else I can says.. he always try to make me sad, I dunno why is he hating me this much, but I try to hid the painfull feeling just in my heart, because nobody would cares about my pain anyway.
“hyo ..” I turned around and smiled at Yoseob, he hand me a bottle an orange juice, I grabbed it and mouthed ‘thank you’ at him.
“geez.. I really don’t understand about this....my poor brain” grumbled Gikwang who was sitting beside me, Yoseob and Jieun just chuckled, Gikwang pouted and hands me his book.
“don’t know this symbol..” he whined, I giggled and helped him, Gikwang actually smart, he always good in other lessons except chemistry, he hate it, he said that really unless lesson
“I’ll teach you.. don’t disturb Hyosung “ said Yoseob suddenly and pulled Gikwang away from me, I just smile while Gikwang whined and started sulking but still followed Yoseob, these days they looks so close and never fight over little things again, and that made me really happy, I turned around at Jieun who was reading her book.
“want to drink something..??” I asked, Jieun looked at me and smiled.
“no, thank you..” she shook her head, I nodded, we back to studied but that before I noticed how pale her face, I touched her hand and gasped as I felt how burning her’s skin.
“are you okay, want to take rest..??..” Jieun shaking her head stubbornly.
“I am fine”she replied, I looked at her worriedly, but I can’t force her because that just make her sad.
“o-okay..” answered me, suddenly my phone rang, I looked at the screen and frown as I know who was calling me.
“yeobeoseyo” I answered it.
“noona…where Yoseob Hyung, why is he didn’t answered my call” I wrinkled my forehead, his voice sounds so weird, Is he crying..??
“Myungsoo, are you okay.??.” I asked.
“n-noona… please tell Yoseob hyung, Uncle is in the hospital now, he got heart attack just now” I was shock and quickly hung up the phone while rushed toward Yoseob.
“yoseub y-your dad in Hospital right now” I said in panic, Yoseob’s eyes widened, he looks so shock, without words he already went away.
I looked at Gikwang and Jieun and telling them about Yoseob’s dad condution, we’re decided to chasing after Yoseob, I was worry about him.
But..when we’re arrived in the hospital, it was too late, I felt weakness immediately, I sat on one of waiting chair and looked at Yoseob who was looked down, sobbing in silent beside his dad’s lifeless body.
I took a deep breath and stood up, walked slowly at him, I sat next to him and touched his shoulder, my eyes glanced at his dad and I couldn’t help but cry, his dad is a nice man, he always help me, but now he is gone but in peace, I can see it.
I looked at Yoseob again and stunned this is the second time I see his tears.
“d-dad..” he whispered hoarsely, I closed my eyes holding back the tears where seems don’t want to stop. Jieun and Gikwang looked at Yoseob in silent, Jieun slowly walked toward Yoseob and embraced him, gently patting his back, Yoseob hugged her back and crying onto her shoulder, I feel this painfull feeling again, but I ignored it.
“noona..” I turned around and facing the crying Myungsoo who was standing beside me, I smiled weakly at him.
I glanced at Yoseob’s dad closed eyes again and bites my lips, after this what else would happen.
****************
I sat on the couch and sighed heavily, my eyes so hurt, I looked at Yoseob who was sat next to me without sayin’ anything, we’re just back from his dad’s cemetery.
I looked at some random place again and closed my eyes.
“HyoSung-ah..” I opened my eyes immediately and looked at Yoseob, he was looked at His dad photo frame on the wall.
“ne…” I replied hesitedly.
“I-Im sorry but.. I will divorced you.” When Those words slipped from his lips I can felt my world has been over… I was shock staring at him with widened eyes, felt thousand knives stabbed my heart repeatly, and it was hurt, painfull, and makes me want to vomit.
“Y-yoseob..”
“.. I will call our lawyers..” I shook my head, the tears falling down my cheeks again.
“w-why..??” I asked, he just silent not even looked back at me.
“y-you said.. you..love me.. you want me..to w-wait for you... b-but..now why..?? I love you Yoseob, you know that, right..?? and I really want to wait for you…. please”I said weakly, I sob as I looked at him pleadingly, Yoseob just silent still didn’t looked at me, I cupped his face in annoyance, forcing him to looked at me, he try to turned away his eyes as Our eyes meets.
“look at me.. do you love me..?? do you still want me..??” I asked, crying hard, Yoseob’s eyes slowly meets mine, his eyes looks empty.
“I Love you Yang Yoseob.. can you see it..??, I will wait for you no matter what..My heart still belong to you.. but please don’t divorced me..I don’t want to..please” Yoseob looked at me, his eyes showing that he was hurt too.
“I-I am sorry.. but I choose Jieun, I want to always beside her, I don’t want to regret again, I don’t want to cry because losing someone important again, I want always beside her..I am really sorry HyoSung-ah” Yoseob said flatly and pulled me away gently, I broke down and crying as he left me again.
“am I not Important for you..??” I whimpers painfully.
“noona..” I turned around and glaring at MyungSoo who was looking at me not so far from me, maybe he saw everything.
“is that enough..?” I asked bitterly “this is what you want right..?! he divorced me… are you satisfied… you happy right..” I shouted at him, clenched my fist angrily.
MyungSoo looked at me then hesistedly approach me, he reached out his hand and touched me but I push him away.
“DON’T TOUCH ME.. you’re two are same…are you happy seeing people crying” I sob and stood up, pointed my finger at him “I really hate both of you..”
“noona…” again His voice just causing the hatred in my heart bigger than before.
“why..??? don’t you love Jieun too.... Go to her, and bring Yoseob back to me..all people love her.. you, Gikwang and Yoseob.. so what left for me.. Why only me.. Maybe if that not Jieun..If I the one who suffering that disease you’re all will never care with me just like you are all care about her.. why not me the one who dying in the first place.. So I could Die without being Hurt again” I screamed, Myungsoo grabbed my hand harshly, I glared at him, but he looks so angry.
“Don’t looked at me like that.. who you think you are..” I gasped as Myungsoo pulled me into his embarced, Hugging me tightly, I struggled but he just tightened his arms around me
“don’t.. don’t say like that..I don’t like her..its not true.. I-I… I like you Noona.. I like you so much…I care with you” he whispered, I was stunned as I heard those words, he like me..??, is that even possible..??.
“I really like you, everytime Yoseob’s hyung tell me about you, I was Jealous, I do hate you before.. but slowly I falling with you, I hate Yoseob’s hyung because you’re his, I hate that Gikwang guy, because he can touch you…” I was cry silently, Myungsoo buried his face on my neck and hugging me tightly.
“please let him go..noona.. and.. and Be mine..I will take care of you.. and loving you.. I will never make you cry” I gasped as I realized what happen and quickly pushed him away, I glared at him angrily.
“you don’t understand MyungSoo..” I whispered and run away as fast as I could, don’t care his voice calling me to back , I don’t care about everything again, I hate Yoseob, I hate Jieun.. I hate all of them.. I really hate them.
TBC
sorry for late update.. I tried to make this longer.. but I still think this is so short.. sorry I can't replied all comments.. coz I being so busy these days.. hohoho.. I will update when I am not busy.. Love you all.. please still comments
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