Jieun was staring at my face in confused, maybe she can see the dry tears in my eyes, of course.. because before I heading to here I already crying my heart out, even I am so tired because the tears can’t just stop.

“just tell me what you want to say.. hurry” I said flatly, Jieun quickly snapped out her thought and looked at me in sadness.

“I...I am sorry HyoSung-ah” I looked at her coldly, Jieun bites his lips before sayin’ what in her mind.

“please divorced with Yoseob..”my eyes widened as I heard it, Jieun looked at me sadly.

“forget about Yoseob.. please I couldn’t stand this again.. I don’t want to see you and him again..please let him go.. For me.. Please Hyosung-ah.. I love him so much.. he is mine from the first..” Jieun started to cried again, I looked at him flatly.

“why.. why should I divorced him for you..” I answer without showing my emotion, Jieun looked at me in shock.

“we’re married couple, his dad and my dad wanted this, and beside I love him too.. so why should I let him go for you and make my heart hurt even more.. why should I..” I continued, I shook my head and sighed before get up and about to leave, but Jieun grabbed my wrist and kneeled down infront me, My eyes widened, I quickly looked around me, all eyes in this café were on us.

“Jieun-ah.. please get up, what are you doing..” I asked in panic while pulled her to stand up, but she is so stubborn, don’t want to get up.

“I don’t want to release you, before you agreed to leave him for me..” she said, I looked at her hesistedly and turned my eyes at the people who still staring at us.

“can.. can we just talked outside”  I said, and pulled her again, this time she has to agree and followed me out.

I release her hand as we already outside the café, I glared at her who just looked down at her feet.

“have you gone crazy..?! why did you even do that..!!”I snapped her, she just crying in silent, that make my heart shuttered, where the old Song Jieun who always looks so strong and always smiled..?? where is her..??

“yes.. I am crazy..,I’m hurt to see you with him.. my boyfriend, first I was okay with everything.. his fiancée, his married thing.. I am okay.. at leats he still love me and care with me.. but slowly.. day by day.. he always bring your name.. every single time.. just your name slipped on his lips, when you angry.. when you get fought with him.. when you crying because of him.. when you smiled.. and That always about You..sometimes he was laugh everytime your name appear between us..what should I do then..??” I looked at the crying Jieun infront me, speechless.. is that even true..?? Yoseob always sayin’ my name..?? so he is really care with me..?? so…

“I used to learn how to forget about him, because he is your husband.. he is a married guy now.. But still I can’t, I love him so much, I always afraid that I will lose him someday, I.. I can’t, please Hyosung-ah.. don’t take him away from me.. I love him first..he is mine before you appear between us.. please..” my heart was sick and I feel dizzy again.. its hurt really hurt, she was broke down because of me.. she is hurt because of me.. and I never thought that Yoseob will love me back.. and I never thought about how much she hurt because of me, I take away the one she love.. she is the first.

“I.. I was suffering a disease Hyosung-ah..I don’t want to tell you about this.. but..still.. this is  my last chance” I want to cry when I heard that, so.. its really true.. she is not okay…

 “some doctors said..my ages was not longer again..I will never survive from this disease..and.. and I don’t think..” she stopped crying hard, I looked at her weakly and I can feel I can’t breath so suddenly, I sat down on the bench and staring blankly at random space.

“just 4 months, doctor said I can survive for 4 months.. so please for this 4 months.. let me be with him.. please let me always with Yoseob..please. I begged you” I looked at her in disbelief, seeing she is cry and begged me make me realized something, I love her so much as my friend.. as someone who always beside me before, and remember about that make the tears fall down my cheeks.

“Jieun-ah..” I whispers huskily.

“please.. Let me love him.. just once.. please.. Hyosung-ah..” she looked at me with sadness, Jieun wiped her tears and smiled sadly “just once...please let him always beside me..this is my last wish” my heart broke into pieces and the knife stabbed my chest more deeply, its hurt to see her like this, she looks so fragile.

“until my last breath.. I promise.. he’ll be with you again after this” I cried my heart out again, after all the tears seems don’t want to stop.. what so important right now, Jieun.. who am I hurting her like this.

“mianhae Hyosung-ah.. for everything I am really sorry.. but please this is my last dream.. to be someone who can feel what the mean of Love…” suddenly she was stop talking and broke down infront me, I gaped and quickly rushed toward her, her eyes closed and her breaths felt so weak, I shook my head and crying hard while shaking her body.

“Jieun…Please..Jieun.. not now.. please.. open your eyes.. Jieun..!!”

******************

I stared at Jieun’s fragile body on the bed, she still not wake up yet, I bites my lips and praying in my heart for her

“Hyosung-ah gamsahamnida.. if you not with her.. I don’t want to think what will happen” I just smiled weakly at Jieun’s mom and nod.

“Jieun is a stubborn kid.. really she always knows that she can’t be so tired like this.. honestly she knows her disease long time ago.. but still.., her doctor judge her life will over years ago.. but that’s not true.. she still survive until now.. she always smile and laugh.. her life looks so happy, no one would guess she is suffer this disease..” she added and looked at Jieun with a smile.

“maybe that because ‘love’, when she knows Yoseob, she never cry because the pain anymore , always feel happy,  maybe because Yoseob she is still in here with us, but somehow..the pain appear again..even more strong, but this kid still stubborn and don’t want to go to the hospital” now she started to sob, I just watched her silently.

“the doctor judged her again.. her life just 4 months longer, I don’t want to believe it… I still believe in the miracle that she will okay. Just like when she knows Yoseob, I just want her to passed her school.. I just want her to be happy.. with someone he love” I quickly hugged Jieun’s mom, I never know about this, I never realized Jieun was suffering like this and I never know How important Yoseob’s in her life.

Suddenly I heard a loud noise from outside, Yoseob was rushed inside this room and run at Jieun in panic, he weakly stad down next to her and grabbed her hand before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, I can see he was panthing and his hands was trembling.

“Jieun..please.. Jieun.. I am here.. please wake up.. don’t be like this.. I am sorry.. I’m sorry.. please..” he said pleadingly, I can see how panic he is, Yoseob caress her cheeks softly, I wanted to cry again after seeing it, looks like he not realized that I am here yet.

I quickly pulled away off Jieun’s eomma, apologize that I should leave to her and walked out before Yoseob know I am here too.

I run away and stopped as no one can see me again, I leaned my body against the wall and started to crying again.

“mom what should I do..??, why all be like this..”I whimpered. “Jieun I am sorry.. please wake up..”

“God.. please don’t take her away.. please don’t let her go.. if I should let my love go.. for her.. I will do it.. I will let him go.. just.. just let her be happy....” I wiped my tears “please...”

What happen right now....???, why all be so sad like this, whose fault..??,is this my fault who always try to separated them.. is this my fault appear between them.. and take away her love..?? or her fault because love someone like this.. or.. his fault who can’t decided between two girls..??

I always asked this..?? should I let him go.. or should I make him stay..?? 4 months..is that will makes different..?? I don’t know.. and then.. what about Gikwang..?? he always beside me these days, is he know about Jieun’s disease..?? is he wll give up and stay near with his love… he still love jieun after all, Gikwang will be so sad.. and about me.. should I giving him up too..??

I was in my deep thought when I feel someone tapped my shoulder gently, I turned around and found Yoseob’s was looked at me, his eyes showed he was tired but still he manage to smile at me.

“you are home..??” I said and smiled back, try to holding back my tears as I showed his sadness, Yoseob nodded and sat next to me, I watched his face, he looks so pale and tired, after Jieun’s accident yesterday, he always beside her.

“do you want to take a nap, I will prepare the dinner for you.. you should eat Yoseob-ssi.. I am afraid you’ll sick..” I said worried, I want to get up, but Yoseob hold my wrist, I looked at her confused.

“I am okay, just stay here Hyo-ah… “he said softly, I nod and sit down again.

“I think.. I am stupid.. and a jerk..” I frowned and looked at Yoseob, he was staring at me.

“before I realized.. I already falling in love with you..”I stunned and observed his face, Yoseob took my hand and put his head on my shouder, I just froze and didn’t want to move.

“saw you with Gikwang make me suffocate, I feel I could die.. when he touched you,..I want to said that I don’t like it.. but instead I hurting you again, make you always cry because of me..…” he looks so weak, he put his arms around me and snuggled closer.

“I want you.. I really want you..but I can’t be with you.. now.. Jieun.. she needs me more.. Jieun really need me now, I wanted to take care of her..” I feel he was kissing my hair.

“from now on.. I will... protect her.. but.. first let me be with you tonight..because tomorrow I can’t..” I felt the tears again fall down my cheeks, why am I always cry like this.. why always cry so easily.

“You know..…??, I don’t know what should I named the feeling in my heart for her..its feel so different when I think about you…about you make me want more and never get enough.. with you my heart beating so fast.. I can’t breath.. I get jealous so easy.. with you I feel the right feeling.. with you I feel what is love for real.. and I know.. what actually I feel toward her.. Its not love.. not like what I feel when I’m with you.. You are my first love Hyosung-ah..” I sobbed and nodded, try to understand.. should I be happy because he love me too.. but.. what about Jieun.. she the one who always want to feel love.. although me too but she need him more.. at least for now on.

“I really love you.. Hyosung-ah.. and I make sure for it..” Yoseob looked at me deeply, my eyes blured with tears, he was smiled bitterly and wiped the tears away off my cheeks.

“but can you.. can you wait for me.. can you wait until I can sayin’ I love you without this guilty feeling..until I can tell everyone the girl I love.. when I can tell to those people.. you’re my wife.. you’re the one I love....can you wait for me..??” I just silent still crying, I should happy but still this heart feel so hurt.

He want me too.. he want me to wait for him.. But.. can I wait.. can I wait for him.. to tell everyone.. about his love for me..can I..??

TBC

Huff.. now.. are you understand why is Yoseobie always be like that..  surprise everyone..?? Yapz.. I don’t thik Jieun is a selffis person.. because honestly this is because Hyo.. but once again.. happy for Hyoseob moments.. stilllll… next will be more angst.. and drama.. everywhere……

aidil23 : let me guess my dear.. are you now in Hyoseob’s side.. hahahaha.. yapz… Hyoseob moments will appear more but still.. this will be more angst than before..

SORRY everyone.. I promise I will update yesterday but my laptop kinda error Just like me and for your forgiveness I update two chapter hehehehehehe…

And please comments all my lovely readers.. Your comments always make me happy and spirit for me to write more..

Btw.. still sorry for my error grammar.. feel free to gave me comments about my stupidness.. heheheheheheheehehehehehe..