Jung Shinhye slumped on the bathroom floor. Slowly, tears began running down her beautiful face. She cried in silence. She closed her eyes, and deliberately let the tears streamed down her cheeks while her right hand was clutching a white object that displays a red line in the middle.

Test pack.

For her, there is nothing more painful other than have a red line appears on her test pack, again. That means negative, for the umpteenth time.

She got it, again

a red line instead of two, again

She cries in pain, again

Again

And again…

 Jung Shinhye didn’t know how many test pack that she had bought and used to check the pregnancy. But unfotunately it was never shows two red lines as she always expected for all time. The object eventually forced to accumulate in a large plastic bag containing hundreds of test packs which she ever used. Too bad...

Jung Yonghwa who already waiting for her outside decided to open the door and approached his wife. He couldn’t wait anymore to know about the result. He was so sure that this time they would have a happy news since she mentioned about she had late menstrual period last night.

He pushed the door with a big smile on his face and….that handsome smile suddenly dissapeared. He saw Shinhye was crying so hard on the floor. Yonghwa immediately approached Shinhye then pulled her into his warm embrace,

“How’s the result, dear?” he couldn’t hold his curiosity to know about the result from her ‘sacred’ thing.

Shinhye didn’t asnwer him, she instead handed the test pack to him without saying a word. She was TOO dissapoint. She was expecting too much. And again, she only could feel pain right in her heart, it feels like…empty.

“It’s okay dear, let’s try again” he tried to comfort her by hugged her and kissed the tip of her head lovingly when he saw that ‘thing’. He caressed her back to assure that everthing would be fine, and they still have a chance to make it happen. He was so sure that someday, they will see two red lines appear on the testpack. For sure…

Yonghwa helped her to stand and carrying her in a bridal style towards the bed.

“It still a red line, Yong. A red line..” she emphasized the ‘red line’ with a heartbreaking voice, she still cried in pain while Yonghwa kept caressing her back.

“It’s okay, dear. Hey, we still have plenty of time. Why so rush? Sshh”

“Rush?? you said rush?!! We have married for four years, Yong, FOUR YEARS!!”  Shinhye yelled desperately to her husband. Crap! Wrong move, Jung Yonghwa!!. For God’s sake, between the number of words, why you chose those words, silly? Don’t you know that it is the saddest part, the most sensitive point of every married woman??. Umh, correction: any woman who is married but had NO children. Yeah, any married woman would have wanted have a child, and Shinhye has been waiting for FOUR years, .. to have a child.

“Why am I not yet pregnant? What’s wrong with me? Why the result was always negative, Yong? WHY??” she said between her sobs. She leaned on his bare chest  as if she no longer has the energy while Yonghwa kept caressing her hair.

“I just wanted to get pregnant, Yong. I just wanted to be a mother for once in my life, for once…I promise for once..”

Yonghwa let the tears out when he heard that heartbreaking voice came from his beloved wife. He felt the pain, just like her. He craves to have a baby, just like her. He also wanted to scream to let out the dissapoinment, just like her. But all he can do is just calming down his wife. He couldn’t see her disappointed anymore. He couldn’t bear to hear the heartbreaking sobs. For God's sake he would do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g for the happiness of his wife, in order to make her smile happily. Not like this, where he hasn’t been able to fulfill his responsibilities as a husband to give a child, he felt worthless somehow.

Yonghwa let her cry in his arms without a word out of his mouth.

Five minutes

-

Fifteen minutes

-

Thirty minutes

He chose to be silent and listen to every word uttered his wife, so that the disappointment hopefully could slowly disappear. He kept caressing her back lovingly, wishing it could erase the pain at once.

“Gomawo, Soojungie” Yonghwa thanked to his sister who had brought a damp cloth to wipe Shinhye’s face that filled with tears that have dried up. Yes, finally she fell asleep because of too tired to cry. Yonghwa wiped her face slowly as if he was afraid to wake her up, then pulled the blanket up to chin to cover her body. He kissed her forehead before dimmed the table lamp and went out with Soojung.

Mianhe yeobo… I could only make you cry. I couldn’t fulfill what you want, what we want the most.

***

“Annyeong Shinhye-ya” Yoona slowly opened the door of Jung’s master bedroom and found her best friend sat facing the window. Shinhye turned and felt surprise when she saw Im Yoona was coming alone. She came? How come? Ah it must be Yongie who told her to come – she said in her mind. She stood and ran towards Yoona to hug her tightly.

“Yya, Yong told me that you’re sick, but look at you, your energy probably could make me die now” Yoona when she broke their hug and walked towards the private living room with her.

“Yya! I bet Yong told you to come to comfort me, but you even tease me instead. So annoying!” Shinhye pouted while her best friend giggled in amusement.

“Aigoo Jung Shinhye, baby, what’s wrong with you dear?” Im Yoona chuckled as she ruffled Shinhye’s hair playfuly, made her pouted even more. “Is it about...umh that thing?” she asked carefully as if she was afraid to offend her.

“...” Shinhye nodded in silence. Suddenly her eyes turned teary.

Yoona inhaled a deep breath, “I know this must be so heavy for you, my dear”. Shinhye suddenly hugged her and let out her tears. her tears turned into sobs. “I know how you feel, Shin. Please be patient” Yoona comforted her by caressing her back slowly.

“I wanna be a mother. I want it so bad, Yoongie-ya” She said between her sobs. “Why so hard for me to get pregnant? Why? Is there something wrong with me??” She kept crying while Yoona patted her back to comfort her. She felt her eyes becoming teary. Dear best friend, I could even feel your pain...

 “Have you checked it out into the hospital? I mean let the doctor examine your womb?” Yoona asked bluntly, and succeed to make Shinhye broke their hug and staring at her face in amazement. “Wae?” and suddenly Yoona felt uneasy with her intense sight.

She shook her head slowly, “I haven’t check it yet” She whispered as she lowered her face to hid her unreadable expression, yeah sadness and confusion came over her face, but she didn’t let her best friend to see it.

“MWO? Shinhye-ya u’re already married for four years! For goodness...” Yoona lost her words as she shook her head in disbelief. "How come you didn't check it to the doctor for all this time, huh?? You always told me that you had dying to have a baby but look at you, you didn't even check it yet,oh Jung Shinhye you daebak!!"

“Umh..because...because I..I was too afraid to hear the results” She turn down the volume of her voice at the end of a sentence as if hoping Yoona didn’t hear what she said just now. But she did, she obviously heard her answer and frowned in confusion.

“Wae? whether you're afraid to have a bad result? I mean do you even already know that.. umh sorry, one of you infertile?” Yoona asked carefully as she bit her lower lip. Again, she was afraid to offend her.

“Ani” Shinhye sighed heavily, “Yong already asked me to check it out, but I refused him. I was afraid Yoongie-ya. what if I was the one who infertile? Sooner or later Yong must be leaving me” Yoona could hear sadness in her weak voice. For God’s sake she doesn’t have a heart to see her misery. Shinhye is her best friend. They were been best friend for almost six years, and she knew her very well. Her happiness was her happiness as well and vice versa. So she could feel what Shinhye feel right now.

Yoona hugged her and caressed her hair gently, “Why do you think so badly, huh? You already knew that Yongie really loves you. He definetely wont ever leave you, I promise.” She paused to see her response, but she just kept silent. “After all, this isn’t entirely the responsibility of you, shin. Your husband also has a role in this process. you have to work together with him, not to bear all the burden alone”

“So what should I do, yoongie-ya?” she pursed her lips as she broke their hug.

“Aigoo this jerk must be trained first before you got married!” Yoona chuckled when she teasing her. “Go ask your husband to accompany you to the hospital, immediately!” She emphasized the last word to assure he