8

HARD TO SAY I LOVE YOU

 

 

Amber had a restless sleep that night. Her dream still played in her head as she lay on her bed staring at the ceiling. The dream felt so real to her. She felt like it happened and it wasn’t long ago. In her dream she was pushed down the stairs, by an unknown shadow. The dark shadow loomed over her as her entire body hit each step as she fell. At the bottom of the step she laid. She looked back up at the shadow and a menacing smiled appeared in the shadow, as she lost herself to the darkness.

This wasn’t the first time she had this dream. Although it might be normal scary dream, but to Amber she felt that it threatens her entire life. Donghae had told her that it was because of the accident she had at Duke. According to what she was told; she had fallen down the stairs by accident. She hit her head so hard that she was actually in a coma for almost a week. After that a lot of things had been a blur for her – especially things about Kikwang.

That was when Donghae told her that Kikwang had betrayed her and their family. There was no other explanation, apart from the fact that Amber had to stay away from Kikwang. Deep down inside she felt that – what Donghae told her was true – it’s dangerous to be near Kikwang.

The buzzing sound of the door bell snapped Amber back to reality. She jumped up and off the bed, grabbed the closes sweater to her and pulled it over her head. She looked at herself in the mirror, as she tried to straighten out her messy hair. The door bell rang again as she open her bed room door and ran toward the intercom located next to the front door. She had her finger on the button – almost pressing down on it – but as she looked at the screen in the intercom, she stopped. The intercom had a camera on it, which allowed her to see who it was on the other side of the door and she thanks Donghae for putting the system in. Kikwang stood in front of the door – arms crossed across his chest.

Amber slowly stepped back. Donghae had moved their apartment before she returned to Korea from America. The reason was that so Kikwang can’t find her. How did he know where she lived?

Amber looked down at her hands and realized that they were shaking uncontrollably. She was frightened, but why? Why is she so frightened by Kikwang? She doesn’t understand.

She slowly turned around and quickly walked back to her room. The door bell went off again. She sat down on the bed and nervously bit her nails. That was one of her nervous habits. She hated doing it, but right now she needed something to help calm her down.

After sometime the door bell stopped, but then the sound of banging on the door came instead. How long have he been here? She thought to herself. It felt like an eternity for her. She finally decided that she needed to call someone over here to help her.

She reached for her phone on the bedside table and dialled the first number she could think of, Kyuhyun. The phone rang and rang, then a clicked, “Hello this is Kyuhyun ...”

“Kyuhyun, help me!”

“...please leave a message.”

The phone let out a beep sound, which notified her to leave a message. Amber bit down on her bottom lips and hung up the phone. She squeezed the phone in her hand. She didn’t know what to do and did what she thought was the last option. She tweeted.

||I’m at home. Need Help! – AJL||

It had been an act of desperation, but she didn’t know who else to call or contact. She felt like a weak child in that moment. She hated it, but what can she do? Her inside are fighting, one wanted to hate and stay away from Kikwang forever, the other wanted him next to him like before.

She kept looking at her phone – waiting for someone to reply, but none came. Then her phone rang. She looked down at the caller ID. It was Kikwang. She hit the ignore button and threw it on her bed. The phone continued to ring for over ten, maybe twenty minutes. He wasn’t leaving. The sound of her phone ringing alternated with the sound of the knock at the door. Her head started to ache.

All the emotions built up inside her. Tears started to form, but before it felt she heard voices outside her door. She slowly got up from her bed and walked back toward her front door. She looked through the intercom and was shocked at who Kikwang was fighting with. It was Jonghyun, Lee Jonghyun. He was the last person she expected to show up to rescued her.

“Who are you?” Kikwang adjusted himself and tried to look more intimidating.

Jonghyun smirked, “That’s none of your business, but she is not home.”

“How do you know that she is not home?” Kikwang stepped in closer to Jonghyun.

Jonghyun walked closer to Amber’s front door and leaned on it. He looked down at the floor and then glanced back up at Kikwang, “She stayed my house last night.”

Amber gasped, but quickly covered . She told herself that was Jonghyun tactic to get Kikwang away.

Kikwang punched his hand next to Jonghyun’s face. It was so closed that if Jonghyun moved his head to the left he would have gotten punched. If Jonghyun – the mild manner man Amber knew – was nervous he didn’t showed it. He smirked, “Now, now there’s no need to get physical.”

“Why would she stay over at your house?”

“That is none of your business,” Jonghyun looked down at his phone and typed something into it. Amber’s phone beeped as Jonghyun put his phone back in his pocket.

She read the message:Unlock the door when I turn toward it.

 Jonghyun turned around toward the door, put his hand into his pocket, pulled something out of it, and placed his hand on the door. It looked like he was trying to open the door. Amber understood then, why he asked her to unlock the door when he turned around. He wanted Kikwang to think that he had the Key to her apartment. Amber unlocked the door and stepped aside, so when Jonghyun opened the door she wouldn’t be seen.

Kikwang reached over, grabbed Jonghyun’s arm and spun him around, “What are you to Amber?!”

Amber couldn’t see Jonghyun’s reaction, but she heard his answer, “Put two and two together.” He pushed Kikwang back with his other hand and opened the door to Amber’s apartment, stepped in and slammed the door in Kikwang’s face. Once Jonghyun was inside he crouched down, placed his head between his knees, and let out a long sigh. Amber watched as Kikwang stood there with his mouth wide open with shock. Kikwang stood there for sometime before he walked away. For now she escaped, but comes tomorrow she will have to see him again. The team assigned him to her to make her better and if she wanted to remain with the team she had to deal with him.

Amber then turned her attention to Jonghyun. She walked over to him and knelt down in front of him. She placed her hand on his knee, “Are you okay? Thanks ...” but before she could finish her sentence Jonghyun had his arms around her. He held her tenderly in his arms.  Amber stiffen, her arms hung loosely at her sides. She didn’t stop him, but the situation is awkward for her. She knew how he felt toward her, but she doesn’t know how she felt toward him.

They remained like that, for how long she doesn’t know, “Lee Jonghyun, can you let go? My legs are asleep.”

He slowly let go of her, “I’m sorry. I thought I was going to get killed by that guy out there. I might have looked tough on the outside, but inside I was going crazy with fear.”

Amber smiled as she slowly got up from the floor, “You did well. Thanks for helping me.” She offered her hand to Jonghyun. He reached for it and pulled himself up.

“Who was he?”

Amber bit down on her lip as she turned and walked toward the kitchen. She opened up the fridge, pulled out a jug of cold water, grabbed two glasses from the dish drying rack, and poured the cold water into the glasses, “He used to be my best friend, that guy. I used to trust him with my whole life, but things happened and here we are.”

Jonghyun walked over to the kitchen and sat at the small kitchen table. Amber walked over, placed a glass of water in front of him, and sat down across from him. She brought the glass of water up to her lips and took a sip. Jonghyun glanced at her as he did the same, but finished all the water in the glass. He placed the emptied glass on the table and smiled weakly at her, “He acted like you belong to him.”

“That’s the key word – acted.”

“So there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

“That will never happen.”

“That’s good,” Jonghyun grinned. He looked at his wrist watch. “It’s almost five o’clock in the evening. Do you want to get something to eat?”

Amber didn’t feel hungry, but her stomach betrayed her as it grumbled. Laughter broke out between Jonghyun and her.

“I guess I’m hungry,” she said. “Where would you like to go? I’m buying, since you came over to help me.”

Jonghyun smiled, “We can decide on that after you get ready.”

Amber looked down at herself and realized that she was still in her sleep wear. She was embarrassed and blushed. She got up at ran toward her bathroom, “Give me ten minutes.”

“Take your time,” Jonghyun laughed.

[][][]

Kyuhyun stood outside Yuri’s house like a lifeless body. He saw something that he shouldn’t have – let alone wanted to witness. Yuri had called him last night and asked him to bring over her wedding ring that she had left at his apartment. He was happy that he get to see her again so soon, but he didn’t expected to see her hugging and kissing her husband happily. It seem like he returned home earlier than expected. He didn’t even realize that his phone was ringing as he wandered the street of Seoul – lost in his thoughts.  

Once he realized where he was he was in front of Amber’s apartment, but what he saw was Amber walking out of the building with Lee Jonghyun. He wanted to walk over to them but something inside made him stop. He turned around and walked back toward his apartment.

He reached into his pocket for his phone at the same time. Then he realized that he had a miss call from Amber, but she didn’t leave any message. He then checked his twitter and saw Amber’s tweeted earlier. He turned and ran after her and Jonghyun. 

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LadyBelKim
#1
Chapter 32: Oh my facking dear krisus! What a wonderful story. Please, if you publish your story, please, tell me. I'll buy it even if i have to pay the shipping to my country.
It's too damn real, even if i wanted that JongHyun or KyuHyun. God damn if i know! Life goes on! My ex had a baby a few months ago. We broke up two years ago. Now, a year ago, i found the real love, the person who i'm planning my future with and i'm engaged to. There is a ending, good in someways, bad in others, but one has to choose.
Thank you again for this amazing novel.
Isellina
#2
Chapter 33: Very nice story. It game me the feelings that this is a very realistic situation in real life, and seeing it as a story with my bias in it make it much better. Although there were times when it was too dramatic, and it's not you it's me, but I just personally avoid reading too dramatic story, however, your wording make me more curious about the story and I ended up enjoying it very much. It show me a very important lesson to look forward to the future and forget the past because no matter what had happened, it won't ever come back and you should just forgive it.
Great story.
zimmie9589
#3
This is awesome... Great plot and writing. My heart wrenched with every single chapter of this fic. I love how you put them into their right place at the end... At first, I expected Amber and Kyu to get back to each other because finally they confessed their love. Though, both of them missed their timing and I love how they got over the shadows of the latter and end up with their suitable partner ^^ lovely ending
KPOPfan619
#4
Chapter 2: WHHAOO first she like jonghyun then she staring and admiring kyu.. Wow. oooohhh jonghyun
KpopLuvinOtaku
#5
Chapter 33: Author-nim I was recently showed this story by a fellow Yongber shipper and seriously author-nim.
The feels in this story.
THE FEELS.
IN THIS STORY.
You're such a good writer and I question if mines is as good u.u
DetNaq
#6
Chapter 32: way to go for YongBer ! XD
doll_head #7
Chapter 32: You started this story in 2010 and it has finally ended. I want to applaud your superb storytelling and your grit to see this through. It's amazing. I am really impressed how you managed to turn this around and upside down and still turn out a brilliant ending. I only wish I could do the same with my own stories - complete them that is! Thank you for such a brilliant story. Especially the kyuber combination and now Yongguk and Amber. :)
joeriel18 #8
Chapter 32: Wow...! You never disappoint us author nim;) that was beautiful classy ending... They all have their beautiful ending...., I love it;)! Waiting for your another story;) tnx author nim^^
TheOddOneGiggles #9
Chapter 32: I love you and this fan fic!!! Even though i got a bit sad to see Amber and Kyuhyun together in the end I love Amber and Yongguk together! ^^
I ship them :3 (I wish in real life amber and Yongguk would end up in WGM, or just interaction at the most) XP
Lol I love how Amber burp, that's my girl xD
K-PopAddict72 #10
Chapter 32: It's such a great ending. I guess Jonghyun has his guitars as girlfriends. I'm glad Amber got a happy ending.