Amber rested her arms on the railing of the fence that marked the end of the hotel’s property and where the beach began. She closed her eyes and let the sound of the crashing waves washed over her, letting it washed away the sound of the party that was going on in the distance.

It was a balmy summer night, but the cool ocean breeze kept the heat at bay. The hot summer night of South Korea - especially Jeju – doesn’t bother her anymore, now that she spent majority of her time doing volunteer work in various countries in Africa.

It was Yongguk who had introduced her to the world of volunteering. He had invited her to help him built a school for one of the small village in Kenya. She went and she enjoyed it so much that she jumped on every opportunity she had to volunteer. Those children and families that she helped along the way had given her so much joy in life, joy that could not be expressed with words alone.

 She had only been back to South Korea for a month, and already she couldn’t wait to get back to Kenya where she was doing her volunteer work last and where Yongguk waited for her.

He has such a big heart, a compassion that is infinite and that side of him had rubbed off onto her. She had told him once that he reminded her of Angelina Jolie with the things he had been doing within Africa. He had gotten a job working with one of the non-profit organization in Africa. The pay was minimal, but he said he didn’t need money, because the reward of what he was doing worth more than all the money in the world.

Amber had been thinking about Yongguk a lot lately since she left him at the airport in Kenya. The emotion that Amber hasn’t felt in a long would bubble up to the surface every time she thought of Yongguk.

“You don’t think you deserved to be love again, do you?” Yongguk had asked her the night before she left for Korea, as they sat side by side watching the stars filled night sky of Kenya. “It’s because you felt that you hurt him – Kyuhyun, I mean. You felt the need to reprimand yourself for the action and choice that you made back then.”

Amber had tried to argue his statement then, but he just shook his head and continued, “I can see it you know, because I felt the same way. It wasn’t until recently did I started to change my mind. You coming into my life made me feel like Jieun would have wanted me to be happy too. She’s not on this earth anymore, but I still love her. However, I finally understand that I would not betray that love for her even if I find someone that I love just as much as her, even if my heart starts to beat for another like how it used to beat for her.”

Amber still remembered the look in his eyes. It was full of passion and love that she wanted to cry. He didn’t say anything more after that. He just wrapped his one arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. She remembered how her body had stiffened, due to shock, but then she relaxed against him and rested her head on his shoulder. His eyes said everything and Amber felt her heart accepting it. They sat like that, looking at the stars all night.

Amber never wished to replace Song Jieun – Yongguk first love. Jieun was special and no one in the world could replace her.

Yongguk and Jieun had dated since high school. Their bond was special, an epitome of soul mates. It was during the last year of university when tragedy struck. Jieun was diagnosed with the later stage of lung cancer – a disease that few survive from.

Yongguk watched as the love of his life wasted away. He watched as Jieun life slowly trickled out of her.

Before they found out that Jieun was sick Yongguk had planned to propose to her. He loves her so much that he went along with the original plan. He wanted to spend whatever left of Jieun’s life as husband and wife. However, Jieun refused. She loved him just as much as he did, but she was dying and she didn’t want Yongguk’s first marriage to be with a dying girl.

Yongguk didn’t care and he persisted. Finally, Jieun gave into him, but as if fate was playing trick on them Jieun had passed away in her sleep the night before their wedding day.

Yongguk left Korea soon after Jieun’s funeral and haven’t been back since. He told Amber that it was too painful. Everything he looked at reminded him of Jieun.

Amber and Yongguk met a year after that.

Maybe it was because they were a like in that way, shutting out the world from their heart, that they became close. Just like Amber, Yongguk felt guilty to open up his heart and love someone again. He felt that he was betraying Jieun and Amber felt that she don’t deserve the love because she hurt someone she cared for.

In that moment Amber wanted to reach him, but the village that Yongguk was at now had no power and he would have to drive over two hours to get to another town to be able to use any type of phone.  She wrote to him when he first got to Korea. A small postcard which said, I understand because just like you I feel the same. It was a message that Yongguk would understand. Amber planned to have a long talk with him once she gets back to Kenya.

Right now she was at Seohyun and Ryeowook’s rehearsal dinner. Tomorrow would be the day they finally get married. Amber had flown back to South Korea only for that reason. She was the maid of honour for her best friend’s wedding.

She loves Seohyun and Ryeowook to death, but Amber couldn’t stand the guests that were invited to the event. The clothes and accessories that one of them wore could feed the people in Amber’s village for a year or even more. They were superficial and it made Amber sick. That was why she escaped the party and was now standing by herself.

With her eyes still closed Amber heard footsteps coming up behind her. Then the wind carried his voice to her ears, “Amber?”

Amber slowly opened her eyes. She somehow knew that he would come to her sooner or later. He was after all the best man. She turned around to face him, “Long time no see, Kyuhyun.”