Everyone has a secret, a secret that they would take to their grave and keep it hidden forever. Seohyun has a secret, a secret that could destroy everything that she held dear to her heart. Maybe it’s an excused, but the pain of keeping the secret to herself caused her to do the things that she do in her life, the reason why she tried to find love with men that are already committed. It was a self preservation system that she had created to protect herself from her true feelings.

She looked out the small oval window of the airplane. It was a beautiful day. The sky above the soft, fluffy white clouds was bright blue. She couldn’t help but remembered the first time she met Amber. The sky was the same colour then too.

It was right after Donghae and Amber’s parents past away from that tragic car accident. Seohyun’s parents were a close friend of their parents. They didn’t have any other relatives; therefore Seohyun’s parents who were their godparent became their guardian and took the two of them in.

At first Seohyun pitied them. Not because of their lost, but because they don’t really know how her parents really are. The family that they are entering into was a broken family. The parents that Seohyun see and the outside world see are two different people. They always acted like they are in love and they have a perfect family, but in actually they hated each other and the two of them cheated on each other. They never paid attention to her. They were always distant and cold. She learned to survive with it, but that also made her cold and she doesn’t trust people at all. She couldn’t understand what love and warmth felt like.

It was Amber who cracked her cold world opened. Amber cheerful attitude was infectious for everyone that met her, but somehow it affected Seohyun the most. It might have been because Seohyun wanted to be loved and longed for it from someone. Amber was the first person in her life to show the other side of love.

The three of them were closed. Donghae – who was older than the two of them by five and six years – always protected them. Time pasted and Donghae was in his senior of high school. Seohyun was in grade eight and Amber was in grade seven. That was when Seohyun realized that her feeling toward Amber was different, it was more than friendship. She would get jealous every time Amber would spend time with other people, especially Kikwang. The way he looked at her made Seohyun raged inside.

She was so conflicted with her feeling back then and it still consumed her now. However, that was also the same time she found out the truth about Amber’s family.

She overheard her parents talked about Amber with Donghae. They told him that Amber wasn’t his real sister. The revelation was shocking for her, but what came out of Donghae’s mouth was even more shocking. He told them that he knew. He remembered his parents brought a baby home when they went to visit the United States. They told him that she was a daughter of a friend that had passed away. He told them that no matter what he loved her more than anything else in the world. She kept her knowledge to herself.

That one unfortunate day caused her world with Amber to collapse. She couldn’t help herself. Amber’s sleeping face was irresistible. She decided against her better judgement and kissed her on the lips. The next thing Seohyun knew, a hand wrenched her away from Amber. When he looked up at the figure that stood over her, fear ran through her body. Donghae looked down at her with eyes full of rage. If looked could kill she would have died right then and there.

He pulled her out of the room. Amber was a heavy sleeper and he never stirred from her sweet dreams. Donghae gripped her wrist so tightly that it started to hurt. She remembered that it had left a large bruising ban around her wrist for weeks. He told her to stay away from Amber. The next day Donghae and Amber moved out. They moved to Seoul. Donghae said that it was because of his university, but Seohyun knew better.

At first she couldn’t understand why Donghae acted the way he did, but later she would find out the reason. Again, something that she loves was taken away from her and she spiralled out of controlled. She dated every guy that asked her to go out with them. No one paid her any mind, especially not her parents. She used to say to herself, if Amber was here Amber would stopped her.

Once she was done high school she followed them to Seoul. That was when she understood the reason why Donghae behaved the way he did. He – Donghae – loved Amber more than just a sister. She never realized it before, but the way he looked at Amber was the same way she herself looked at Amber. The way Donghae would look at Kikwang was the same way she would look at him. How could she have not noticed that before? It was there all along.

When she found them, Donghae was adamant about her not meeting up with Amber, but Seohyun used her knowledge of the truth. He gave in because he didn’t want Amber to know that she wasn’t his sister and that he loves her, loves her in the way a man would love a woman. She felt bad about blackmailing him, but it was necessary for her to have Amber back in her life again.

“Seohyun,” Ryeowook gently shook her out of her reverie. “The plane is landing in a minute. Are you okay?”

She turned, smiled and nodded, “I’m fine. I was just thinking about stuffs.” She buckled up her seatbelt, preparing for the landing.

“I’m sorry my parents dragged us all the way to Jeju.”

She shook her head, “That’s not a problem. I don’t remember the last time I was here so it would be fun.”

A grateful smiled danced across his face, “Thanks for doing this for me, this thing with my parents.”

“Parents can be troublesome. I understand you,” she did understand him, but more than anything else she needed something to take her mind of Amber and Jonghyun.

Author's Note ~ I think I rewrote this chapter a million times. I just can't seem to get the feeling right, but this is how it turned out and I hope you guys are okay with it. Please comment. I think I will end this fic soon.