BoA - Only One

Jonghyun stepped out of the company’s van. He strapped his faithful guitar on his back as he made his way to the back for van to grab his luggage. He still couldn’t fathom how his life could fit into one medium size luggage. As he rolled into the airport with his band mates and their families, he felt alone, even thought the airport was filled with people and he was surrounded by them.

They went checked in their luggage before they went through security. He mindlessly moved along with the crowd that he was with, following the instruction of his manager. They weren’t famous yet, but the company still required them to be managed by one of their staff. The manager is there to make sure that the rules are being followed and the members of the band are kept in check. Of course, he was there to take care of their needs as well.

Once his luggage was checked Jonghyun followed behind his band mates and their families toward the security area. He stopped in his track when he saw the petite figure, in a black sweater, black jeans and black shoes, standing by the security area.

She smiled weakly at him and walked in his direction, “Hey.”

“Hey …”

He saw the nervousness in her eyes. Her hands grasped together behind her back, “Can you spare me a minute?”

Jonghyun knew that he couldn’t avoid Amber forever. He couldn’t ignore that their relationship had slowly came to an end. The truth in the reason that he avoided her this entire time was not because he was angry at her, but it because he knew that when he faced Amber this dream relationship would finally come to an end and deep down he wished that it would never happen.

He saw his manager turning around to look at him, then at Amber and then at this wristwatch, “You have twenty minutes.”  He said, matter-of-factly and then turned his attention back to the others and their families.

Jonghyun nodded at Amber and led her toward a bench a few paces from the security check in area. He sat down and Amber took the seat next to him. They sat there in silence for a minute, neither of them looked at each other, but out into the sea of people walking passed them.

Finally Amber turned toward him, “I don’t expect you to forgive or forget what I had done when you proposed to me. I was wrong in the way I reacted and I want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sincerely sorry. Sorry for everything that had transpired.”

“Amber …”

“Let me finished, please,” Amber laid a hand on his forearm. Her touched brought back memories that he wished he could erased. “I just want you to know that I’m not sorry for being with you. The good times we shared. I thought that we can be happy, that I can be happy with you and for a time that was how I felt. I was happy with you Jonghyun, but there were times when you pushed too hard. There were times when I felt like you never considered how I felt and just did things your way. I should have told you about the way I felt and maybe things might be different now, but I didn’t because I was a coward. I didn’t want to hurt you, but here I am hurting you more.”

He looked into her eyes and saw that they were watery. He knew that Amber was trying hard not to breakdown in front of him. She was trying hard not to cry. Within that moment of looking into her eyes he knew that no matter how disappointed he was with her and with the situation he could not bring himself to hold a grudge against this girl that he loved so dearly.

He pulled her into his embraced. She didn’t resist and brought her arms up to and clutched onto his sweater as she sobbed into his chest. Whatever resolved she had against herself crying in front of him faded away when Jonghyun wrapped his arms around her.

“I …” He paused. “I need time, Amber. I need time to forget about us. I need time to heal from all of this. I can’t say I forgive you one hundred percent, but know this, it takes two to tango and both of us are at fault in this relationship. I knew that I pushed my feeling onto you most of the time. I was insecure. I was afraid that you would realize that your heart was still with Kyuhyun. I was jealous of him. Kyuhyun’s presence in your life threatens me and that insecurity propelled me to do what I did. I was afraid that if I didn’t move fast and erase him from your heart he would always remain there. In that respect I never took you into consideration and I’m sorry for that.”

Amber pulled away, streaked of tears apparent upon her face. She used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe the tears away, “We are such a mess aren’t we?”

Jonghyun nodded as he took her face in his hand and used his thumb to wipe the remaining tears from her face, “We are.”

Amber glanced over at the security check-in area, “I think they’re look for you. I’m sorry Jonghyun. I really wished that things could have turned out differently. I don’t know what I was thinking, but when I saw this I had to get it for you. I hope you forgive me one day. Also … know that you are very important to me … a very important friend.”

Friend, that word stung him a bit, but it was better than he thought. If he was to be honest he didn’t want her out of his life forever. He just need time to heal and move on with his life.

She handed a bright red guitar pick to him. He tiny smiled escaped his lips and he took it from her. He stood up from the bench and she followed. He pulled her into a final hug. He knew that as much as this hurt him it hurt her just as much, “You’re the only one. I know it hurts right now, but one day we will erase the bad moments and remember the good one.” He let her go, kissed her on the forehead and turned around to walk away. He didn’t dare looked back at her, but he knew that just like him she was crying right now.