Rationalization
HARD TO SAY I LOVE YOU
Stunned, Amber’s body moved on its own. She stumbled out of the shadow. She vaguely remembered the shock on Ryeowook’s face when he saw her. He gasped, maybe, Amber couldn’t remember, but whatever he did it caused Seohyun to turn around.
Seohyun paled, the colour drained from her face. She slowly pulled away from Ryeowook, reaching for Amber.
Amber reacted, flinching away from the older girl. The pain on Seohyun’s face was evident and Amber regretted her action right away.
Amber mind was racing, trying so hard to grasp the rational side of it. She knew Seohyun, the girl that pretended to be tough as nail on the outside, but so fragile within. When Amber flinched away from her, Seohyun was properly breaking into million pieces inside.
Amber’s rational side understood that this was matter of the heart. This was a matter that couldn’t be controlled. Looking back at herself, she couldn’t control who her heart beats for. She tried with all her might, but in the end her heart lead her back to the one person it called for.
Amber knew that to resolve their dilemma they had to talk. No matter how confusing the situation had placed her, especial one that involved Seohyun.
Amber’s plan of resolving things with Jonghyun will have to wait.
Seohyun stood there with Ryewook’s arm around her shoulders. Her face was stained with fresh tears. Amber heart was breaking. Amber had always hated the men that came and went in Seohyun’s life, causing her to cry. Now it was Amber that was making Seohyun cried. She hated herself.
“Seohyun,” Amber stepped toward the older girl. Ryeowook wrapped his arm protectively around Seohyun. “Can we talk?”
Silence hung in the air between them until finally Ryeowook broke it, “You heard everything?” Amber nodded. Ryeowook glanced at Seohyun. “You want to talk to Amber, Seohyun?”
Seohyun sobbing almost became hysteric. Amber walked up to the couple. She placed her hand gently on Seohyun’s forearm, “I don’t hate you Seohyun.” Amber knew without Seohyun saying that was what she thought. “I can never hate you. You’re my best friend, an older sister that I never had.”
Seohyun slowly looked up at Amber. He bloodshot eyes were full of shocked, “You … don’t … hate … me?”
Amber smiled weakly, “Why would I hate you silly.”
Ryeowook looked between the two girls, “Do you guys want to go somewhere private to talk?” The two girls nodded. “Okay, I will drive you then.”
Seohyun looked up at Ryewook and smiled lovingly at him and Amber was grateful for the fact that when everything is done Ryeowook will be there to help Seohyun through this. Amber loved Seohyun, but it was not that type of love.
To Amber her bond with Seohyun was beyond that. It was similar to a blood bond that can never be broken. However, in this life time Amber would never be able returned Seohyun’s feeling.
(-)(-)(-)
They spend the night at Ryeowook’s luxurious apartment. They talked and talked all night. Seohyun spilled out her guts for Amber to hear, emptying out the skeletons in her closet that involved Amber. They cried. They laughed. Finally when the first ray of sunlight slipped through the crevices of the curtain in the room, lighting it up did Amber knew that it was time for her to go. She had other matter to attend to.
Amber had helped finalized the unrequited love that Seohyun had toward her. It was easier than expected. Seohyun’s heart had belonged to someone else already. She was just unable to detach herself from the thought of loving Amber because she never conveyed that feeling toward Amber. Now that it was conveyed that feeling of love was easier to sever.
Seohyun loved Amber, but the love was purely out of the fact that Amber was the only person in her life, until Ryeowook, that allowed her to be herself, to feel free and opened her eyes to the good in the world.
Amber hugged the older girl. Then she turned to Ryeowook, “You better take care of her. There will be hell to pay if I find out that you hurt her.”
“Roger that,” Ryeowook brought his right hand up and did a salute.
Seohyun just shook her head and nudge the man in his side. A bright smile played on her lips, “What are you going to do now?”
Amber sighed and looked at her watch, “Get a taxi and hurry to the airport. I need to resolve things with Jonghyun before he leaves for Japan.” Amber waved as she ran toward the elevator.
Ryeowook wrapped his arm around Seohyun shoulders and pulled her closed to him, “Are you okay?”
Seohyun nodded, “It feels like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.”
“What do you think will happen with those three?” Ryeowook asked. He used his free hand to close the door and led Seohyun toward the living room.
“I don’t know,” Seohyun sighed. “All I know is Amber’s heart calls for Kyuhyun. As for Kyuhyun, whether or not he will admit this, but the man he fallen for our Amber as well. As for Jonghyun, I feel sorry for him, but he knew what he was doing.”
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