Alex was a few steps away staring at Lillie and now that it was really happening she didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t only a dream anymore…

“Good morning. I’ve been waiting for you. Did you miss me?”

 

Lillie stared at Alex as if he was nothing more like a product of her imagination. She wished he was!

“L? Are you ok?” he smiled slightly, his lips curving in seconds, the same time she had to react and quickly run to the door of the building she lived in.

“L! Come on!” She heard him yell when she reached the door, inserting her code quickly, her fingers shaking. Lillie grabbed the handle of the door but it wasn’t opening even though she inserted the code right: 080525.

“Lillie…” he whispered near, too near, making her look at him, noticing for the first time, his hand blocking the door from opening. “Are you really going to run away like this?”

“Let me go!” she said desperately pushing the door.

“I’m not even touching you.”

“Let me go in or I will scream!” she threatened pushing the door with both her hands.

“Let’s stop acting like kids. You were always like this, over reacting. I only want to talk. I missed you.”

“I don’t want to talk. Go away.”

Alex grabbed her shoulders and turned her to him. Lillie lost all her strength right away, the eyes she feared for so long staring into her, seeing right through her soul.

“I’m changed. I only want to talk Lillie. Give me a chance or I won’t leave your door. You know I mean it…” it sounded like a threat.

“Release me...” she asked trying to act strong and he slowly released her shoulders.

“There is a nice coffee shop just around the corner. Maybe we could go there. Do you still love hot chocolate?”

Lillie nodded and he smiled signaling her to walk in front of him.

 

 

A couple was sitting at a coffee shop, a cup of hot chocolate in front of the girl, that seemed nervous, while the boy was clearly delighted to be in her company talking without catching his breathe.

It seemed perfect, but in reality the girl was too afraid to move, let alone drink the hot chocolate he ordered for her.

“…So I’m a very prestigious lawyer now. Husband material! Do you regret leaving me now? “He chuckled, the sound hurting her ears. “But where are my manners?! I’m only talking about me, what about you. What are you doing?”

“You know what I’m doing…” Her voice came out tense and there was a slight change in his expression.

“Yes… I know about the tutoring center, the French girl who lives with you, the friends who fangirl with you on the weekends. I know all that…Do you have anything else to tell me?”

He leaned on the table, staring at her, the smile leaving his face, the true Alex coming out to play.

Lillie avoided his stare and looked down at her fingers, the ring Onew gave her catching her attention. Alex may knew about him but she wasn’t sure yet. She hid her hand below the table just in case.

“No…there is nothing to tell.”

“Ok….drink your hot chocolate!”

He pushed it in her direction and waited, his eyes never leaving hers. He was testing Lillie, to see if he still could order her around.

The old Lillie would have obeyed, too scared to say anything, but this Lillie was different.

She raised her hand touching the hot mug and he smiled for a while thinking she was going to drink, instead she pushed it away to the center of the table again.

“I don’t want it!”

She stared at him, defying his authority.

“Where did that ring come from?” he asked, her strength failing her. Alex knew exactly what to do or say to break all her defenses. “Who are you dating?”

“No one!”

“Then you have a couple ring because…?”

“It’s none of your business!” she said, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks.

“Really? I think have the right to know who is ing my girlfriend…”

The nice guy mask fell off and Lillie grasped the table.

“I’m not…”

“He got what I couldn’t…so I think I have the right to know who he is….I need to thank him too…guess you are no longer frigid.”

“You are not hurting me. Your words don’t affect me anymore and you don’t have the right to know anything about my life!”

Lillie got up with her legs trembling. The look of surprise on his face gave her the courage she needed. He wasn’t expecting that she would fight him back.

“…and I’m NOT your girlfriend!” She grabbed her bag and walked quickly away from the coffee shop. Lillie looked behind her and noticed him get up to pay. She took the opportunity and the few minutes she had to sprint to her apartment building, her heart beating so much she couldn’t hear anything around her.

She bumped against a man and apologized; her mistake was enough for him too caught up with her. Alex grabbed her arm making her stop.

“I really changed Lillie. I don’t want to make the same mistakes from the past.”

“I don’t want to talk with you.” She couldn’t count all the times he said that to her. She didn’t want him to change anymore; she didn’t want anything to do with him.

“I’m not going to give up on you, you know that! I’ll be here, waiting until you accept me back. You know you will….you can never leave me…”

“I CAN! I DID IT ALREADY!” she released her arm and opened the door of her building closing it.

Alex was outside staring at her expressionless and for a few minutes she thought she won.

Then he smiled slightly and walked away.

He would never give up and she didn’t know what to do to get rid of him.

The only way was to kill him or die and Lillie didn’t want to do any of it.

Maybe Alex was right. Maybe she would have to get back to him in the end. However, that was the closest thing to die.

 

I indifferently look outside the window today, no

I feel languid and my heart is cloudy, I can’t see you

I’m only fiddling with my cooled teacup baby

 

 

Jules walked around the living room in circles, probably carving a circle on the floor of her apartment. Kibum just called her and he was going up on the elevator on this precise moment. He was going to visit her again. They were going to see each other again after that night she screwed everything. She looked around and fixed all the pillows of the couch.

He knocked on the door and Jules sprinted to it, only stopping to look at her reflection in the mirror one more time before opening the door.

Jules took a deep breath and opened it. Kibum, the perfect man, was smiling at her, his hair perfectly combed, wearing a big white shirt and denim shorts.

“Hi!”

She greeted him as if she opened the door to let the sun enter her house.

Kibum walked inside and she closed the door quickly following him.

“I was surprised when I got your call.”

“I was near so I thought about seeing you. Maybe we can go out to eat something.”

“Together?” she asked quickly, too quickly.

She was so eager and didn’t look like her at all. At least the Jules everyone seemed to know. It made Kibum feel special. She was different with him. She was the real Jules, the one who can’t hide behind the makeup and the branded clothes. She was just like him.

“Yes together. If you want...”

“I do. I like to go out with you.”

“I like it too….a lot. This last days talking with you on the phone, it brightened my days.”

He sat on the couch and she sat by his side, still feeling a little awkward around him.

“Last time you were here…”

“Let’s not talk about it. Friends right?”

He asked not very certain of it.

Jules moved closer to him and Kibum sensed her perfume. Memories of the night he almost kissed her came back to him.

He looked at her and their eyes met. She didn’t move hers and he didn’t move his. It was like time stopped for both and they couldn’t get away from that daze they fell in.

“Jules…” Kibum whispered not sure what to say.

“Mon Dieu!” Jules suddenly cried in French. “I don’t want to be only your friend! I hate the idea!” She blurted out surprising him. “I want to kiss you so damn hard…I’m not even going to say what I want you to do to me because I know it would make you blush…”

She looked away suddenly hiding her face from him and Key couldn’t help but blush knowing what she meant. He also had those thoughts about her, he was human after all.

He his lips and touched her arm gently making her look back at him.

“Then…lets end this!”

“End?”

She did it again. She screwed everything!

“I see!” Jules understood looking away from him again; her cheeks tinged with pink making him lose his mind.

“No…I mean…this friendship-only thing. Let’s try being more than friends.”

She sighed of relief and he laughed, his laughter slowly dying, his fingers touching her upper arm when he moved closer to her.

Jules smiled knowing what he was going to do and swiftly met him halfway both finishing what they started months ago.

They kissed for a while, not eagerly or demanding but also not softly; just a normal yet accomplishing kiss.

He was the first to move away and they looked at each other waiting for the others reaction.

“I don’t think your wife will like this…”

Kibum frowned until he realized what she meant.

“Well…I can kiss her too.”

Jules hit his head making him stare at her.

“What was that?”

“THAT IS FOR YOU TO NOT TEST ME AGAIN!”

Slowly a smile appeared on his face. Jules was fun…he couldn’t wait to explore that More Than Friends moment a little more.

 

 

How many items does your list have?

He asked on skype.

Lillie looked down at the paper in front of her. She wrote on top of it with beautiful letters “Romantic moments with Jinki”.

“36 for now…”

Jinki widened his eyes making her chuckle.

How can you even find 36 different ideas for dates?

“It’s not only dates. Number 25 is Learn how to swim with Jinki; and number 10 is riding a bike together….”

She played with the paper and he almost melted. His cute girlfriend was a romantic.

What about number 36?

She blushed right away covering her face and he knew he choose the right one.

“Sit on your lap…”

She hid her face from the screen and he smirked.

But you already sat on my lap…you ert…

“YA, you said I could write whatever I want. I’m not asking what you wrote on your ert list.”

It’s called y Time with Lillie list and you will know soon…when we start to fulfill my wishes…

She wrinkled her nose pouting and he sent her another message.

You will enjoy it too. I promise.

She couldn’t help but stare at his white shirt clinging to his body.

“STOP THAT!” she blushed touching her cheeks.

He smiled before typing again.

What about number one?

She looked at her list. Number one was the one she wanted the most and probably would never happen.

“Dream with you…” she lied. She couldn’t tell him, at least not for now.

When she decided to make the list she brainstormed searching for what she really wanted to do with Jinki. There was something that came immediately to her mind: Build a family with Jinki.

That was her number one wish. The one she was so afraid that would never happen.

That’s easy; you just need to think about me before going to bed.

She nodded absentmindedly.

Come visit me tomorrow. It’s Saturday and I know you are free.

She wanted it so badly. Since the day of the cake she didn’t see him anymore. She couldn’t. Alex would know if she met Jinki. She wasn’t sure he knew who she was dating, so it was safer this way. She was doomed to not see him anymore and probably sooner or later she would have to break up with him. Break up…only thinking about it was killing her inside.

 

Like a child going after a fantasy, yeah

I loved you so I said that I was happy

But in my growing heart, you are getting more distant, it’s getting harder

 

 “I better not. I’m always there at the dorm. The others are probably tired to see me there.”

No. They don’t mind. They like you, besides it’s my home too. Or we could go on a date. I want to get out of this house…

“You can’t. You have to rest!”

IM TIRED OF RESTING! Is that even possible?

He pretended to faint on top of the keyboard, a bunch of random letters appearing on her screen.

She couldn’t help but laugh.

“WAKE UP!” she screamed making him jump and stare up at the screen, making a deadly face. “You look tired!” she chuckled and he sighed.

Please go out with me. I ask you this every day. I miss you terrible. I miss your smell, holding your hands, kissing you, hugging you, staring at your s and ….pleeeease?

He stared at the screen acting cute and Lillie almost gave in.

“I really can’t…I’m so sorry…”

WHY?

He seemed upset now. She was acting so weird lately.

“Can’t you ask a friend to go with you? I can’t leave the house…I’m really sorry. I need to go! I love you!”

She turned off the call but not before seeing his frustrated yet worried expression.

Jinki tried to call her back and she had to use all her self-control to not accept the call.

He gave up after a while and a message appeared on her screen.

 

Tell me what is wrong. I know something is and you don’t want to tell me.

I’m worried Lillie. Please trust me.

 

She wrote something back, she couldn’t help it.

 

I trust you!

 

Then tell me.

 

I will…

 

However she wasn’t sure when.

 

Leave me and go, leave me and go, put away all of our memories

Leave me and go, leave me and go, stained with your tears

Leave me and go, leave me and go, the exhausted love

Leave me and go, leave me and go so we can both peacefully rest

 

 

“Lillie come here!” Jules called from the living room and Lillie got up from her bed yawning. She slept all Saturday since she was too afraid to leave her house. Every day she would leave for work with Jules and tried to come back with her. When Jules stayed until later Lillie would literally run back home, staring everywhere searching for her “shadow”.

She didn’t see Alex anymore, yet she knew he was close. His text messages always reminded her that he was close, watching her. He would comment on her clothes and the things she did and she was scared. That was the reason she was hiding at home.

Lillie got up wearing her pink pajamas with cute little white bears and walked to the living room with no makeup and with her hair in a mess. She stopped frozen when she saw Kibum staring at her.

“Wow…so this is what Jinki sees in the morning….” He chuckled making fun of Lillie and Jules chuckled too.

Lillie stared at her friend feeling betrayed.

Why did she call her without telling her they had visits?! And it was Kibum, her idol.

Lillie tried to fix her hair quickly making Kibum laugh even more.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She said covering her chest with her arms, her voice still coming out sleepy.

“Because it’s a surprise!” Key answered signaling to someone who was behind Jules watching her.

The silent, yet shining smile Onew gave Lillie disarmed her. He came to see her! He didn’t seem to mind that she looked horrible because he was looking at her as if she was wearing beautiful clothes and was stunning.

“Jinki said he wanted to leave the house…so I brought him!” Kibum said smiling slightly as if he brought a puppy home with him.

Lillie shrieked and pouted.

WHAT WAS HE DOING THERE?! Alex was probably outside…

“What are you doing here?” she asked running to him and pushing her boyfriend to the door. He didn’t make any effort to hold back, too surprised with her reaction, the smile leaving his face. Jinki was expecting a hug, a kiss or at least a smile, not that.

“LILLIE!” Jules yelled surprised. Was her roommate crazy?!

“You have to go back home!”

Jinki regained his conscious and stick his feet to the floor grabbing her arms; his eyes questioning her.

“Go back home please…” she pleaded trying to hold her emotions. He needed to be safe, away from her.

He shook his head.

“No…” he said with a tiny voice.

“Old man, don’t use your voice…you can’t force it…” Key advised him.

The doctor said that even though is voice was coming back Jinki shouldn’t use it.

“JINKI GO HOME! I don’t want to see you!”

Lillie released herself from his hold and ran back to her room hitting with the door.

All three stared at the door with eyes wide open. That was weird.

“Did something happen?” Kibum asked to a clueless Jinki.

He shook his head slowly, something was wrong and he was going to find out what.

“I’m sorry…I don’t know what is wrong with her lately. I really thought she would be happy…” Jules explained confused.  “I’m going to talk with her…”

Jinki made her stop, signaling that he would do that instead.

 

 

Jinki opened the door and peeked inside.

She wasn’t in her bed, which was a total mess; instead she was hiding on the other side of it, covering her face with her knees.

He looked around for something to write until he remembered his phone.

He silently sat by her side but she didn’t move.

Jinki typed on his phone quickly and showed it to her.

She didn’t look at it and he elbowed her slightly. Still Lillie ignored him.

“Li…” he tried to call her and she looked back at him, her eyes red.

“DON’T USE YOUR VOICE!”

He nodded and put the phone in front of her nose.

I’m sorry…but I really wanted to see you. I miss you so much. Why are you angry with me?

She panted in pain. Lillie wasn’t angry with him and he was so cute staring at her with his desirable pouting lips…damn…she wanted to kiss him so badly.

He typed something again and she couldn’t help but stare at his lips while he was doing it.

Talk with me. What’s wrong?

She read what he wrote quickly, her eyes returning to his eyes and then his lips.

She couldn’t restrain herself any longer and Lillie attacked him.

She circled his neck with her arms and almost sat on his lap, her lips attacking his. He answered back, a little surprised with her reaction; holding her by the waist, pulling her to his arms, his lips moving from Lillie's lips to her neck; her scent making him happy, while he kissed her skin.

“You shouldn’t have come...” she said with her eyes closed caressing his back.

Even though she was saying it, her actions showed him the opposite. He was going to solve that case. Jinki would find out what she was hiding.

He moved away staring at her and mouthing a silent why.

“Don’t ask me…it’s complicated!”

He sighed tired of all the mysteries before grabbing his phone again that fell to the floor when she hugged him.

I came. I’m here. Nothing you can do. Let’s enjoy the time we have together!

She nodded kissing him again, drowning herself in his embrace. Even dying in his arms seemed better than leaving him.

 

Like fools, you always only looked at me

And I only looked at you so we didn’t look ahead

In front of us are different roads but we just found out that we can’t turn things around

 

 

That was too familiar.

Jules, Lillie and Onew were sitting in the living room in front of a board game, playing the same drinking game they played before. The only difference was that they were playing has a team and instead of Jonghyun, Key was there.

It was more of a battle between Jinki and Key. Lillie didn’t want her boyfriend to drink because he was still taking his meds but he said he missed drinking and she had to give up. He seemed really happy, drinking for him and her. He said he wanted to win and she at drinking.

Key watched Jinki while he drank another cup of soju.

“Do you give up old man?” he asked already a little tipsy.

Jinki shook his head, his hand never releasing Lillie’s hand. It was a small gesture yet it was so sweet how he held her hand through all the game. She couldn’t help but stare at their fingers joined. Jules giggled when she noticed it but Lillie didn’t take her hand away from his. She wanted to hold that cute and warm hand forever. He made her feel secure and absolutely happy. For a few hours she forgot all about Alex and she could smile and laugh by his side. He was her happiness, her safe haven from all pain.

Jules was drunk by now, only speaking in French, none of them understanding most of what she was saying and the game would end very soon. It was only Jinki versus Kibum.

“Maybe we should go to sleep. You are all too drunk to leave…” Lillie said staring at Kibum who giggled.

“Aigo! What to do?” Key asked making a cute voice.

Deadly aegyo activated. Jinki giggled staring at the bottle in front of him.

“You should sleep here!” Jules said quickly, almost falling on top of the board game.

Lillie helped her sit back and Onew tried to grab the bottle failing a few times.

Lillie sighed grabbing the bottle for him and when she was going to give it to him he fell on his back, lying on the floor.

“Are you giving up?” Key asked with a cute voice.

Lillie put the bottle down and stood on her knees staring down at her boyfriend.

“Are you ok?” she asked worried noticing his pink cheeks and his foggy drunk eyes.

He smiled at her like a kid, his fingers touching her hair and his lips pouting.

“We should end the game!” Lillie said grabbing his arm and trying to pull him up.

He didn’t move an inch and instead pulled her down on top of him. His hands moved to her right away, groping her.

“Jinki…stop that!” She placed her hands on his chest and used it to push herself away from him.

Key stood up victorious and helped Lillie stand up. With Kibum aid, Lillie pulled Jinki up.

“Let’s take him to my bedroom…”

Taking him was the easiest part. The hardest part was when Key left them alone, saying something to Jules, both laughing at something Lillie couldn’t understand.

Now that she was alone Lillie needed to undress Jinki that was lying on her bed.

He stood motionless for a while, his eyes staring at her, his mouth open in a huge smile, while she sat on top of him and pulled his shirt and tank top over his head.

Then his hands moved to her hips caressing her over her pajama, poking the cute white bears on her shirt.

“Are you ok? I’m worried. You drank so much….”

Jinki nodded, his hair falling on his eyes while his fingers started poking the bears up her tummy to her s, his smile opening to a huge smirk.

His finger started searching for her to poke on and she grabbed his hand moving it away.

“I’m serious Jinki…I’m worried…”

She touched his forehead caressing his face and that’s when he grabbed her, throwing Lillie to the bed. She didn’t have time to react because he pinned her down, his legs in the middle of hers, his face inches from her, his eyes set on her as if she was his possession.

“What are you doing?” she asked surprised, her heart jumping on her chest, her body desperate for him.

He leaned down kissing her hard while his hand left her pulse to sneak inside her pajama.

She grabbed his arms while his hand d her and pushed him away breaking the kiss.

“Jinki?” she asked breathless staring at his red tasty lips. He smiled before leaning down to kiss her neck, his fingers drawing circle motions on her s while he bit her neck softly.

“Oh god…” she moaned.

He was a y beast when he was drunk…she was screwed.

Lillie remembered how he told her she was y when she was drunk. But he should see him now.

She made an effort to push him away and moved from under him, pulling her pajama shirt down covering her s again.

“Oh my god…you are a very tokki!”

He smiled cutely at her, grinning like a ert and clearly agreeing with her and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You need to sleep. Let’s take your pants off and sleep…”

Jinki nodded happily and she frowned. He was probably too happy to take his pants off.

He didn’t move so she started unfastening his pants. He watched her curiously, blinking his eyes while she pulled his jeans down his legs.

She took his socks off and she stared at him only in his green boxers. A vision from heaven doing things to her body she couldn’t even explain. Sadly he needed to sleep. jinki grinned watching her drooling over his body and she hit his leg .

“Done! Time to sleep!”

She grabbed the covers to pull them over him, and hide that Greek God from her eyes, but she couldn’t since he grabbed her again pulling her down on the bed as if she weighs nothing.

“Ya!” she screamed trying to release herself. But he laid on top of her again, between her legs kissing her face and lips, anywhere he could reach. His skin against hers was too much and she almost gave in. Damn an almost Jinki was on top of her, what can she do?! She is human!

When he started pulling her pajama pants down she pushed his face away and cupped it making him stop.

“Listen to me Lee Jinki! I’m not going to have with you right now! You need to sleep! Ok?”

He stared at her nodding his head before smiling and she couldn’t help but kiss him.

“No …ok?” Lillie said once again, while his hand moved from her waist, up to her s to her neck caressing her.

“I said no ! I’m in charge tonight!”

He frowned, his cute eyebrows moving down while he stared at her lips.

“Only one kiss goodnight…” she warned him letting him kiss her.

He kissed her for a while and she let him satisfy himself until she pushed him away again making him lay down by her side with his tummy up.

She sighed and rose up on the bed staring down at him.

He looked back at her not saying anything.

“What?” she asked shyly. He was looking at her as if she was a piece of chicken. Did she really deserve all that love?!

He searched for his phone on the bedside table. He took a while to grab it and she chuckled. When he grabbed it he frowned trying to write something, hitting the wrong buttons several times.

You ar eso beutiful. I lve you! I wantto hug yo u to sleep!

It had some typos and she giggled reading it. Jinki touched her arm making her look at him.

He was staring at her with serious eyes and Lillie knew he didn’t want to play anymore. Perfect time to !

“You can’t I have tokki the plushie!”

She told him with a crooked smile making Jinki upset.

He stood up, surprising her with a sudden rush of energy. Jinki stared around the room for the plushie who was sitting on the chair in front of her desk and stood up stumbling against the bed, grabbing the bedside table for support. He reached the plushie and seized it strangling it.

“What are you doing?” Lillie asked laughing, jumping after him and pulling the plushie from his grip. “He is my companion.”

Jinki shook his head gesturing that he was her companion.

She smiled hugging the plushie against her chest.

“I love him! Look how cute he is!”

Jinki pulled the bunny from her arms and throw it to the floor. It was funny to see a grown up, almost man fighting for her attention with a plushie.

“Don’t do that!” she said trying to grab the plushie. Why did he gave her the plushie in the first place if he was going to be so jealous of it?!

He grabbed her in one motion, his arm going behind her knees and putting her on top of his shoulder.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” she said astonished and afraid to fall and or hurt him. Was he crazy? She was so heavy… “PUT ME DOWN!”

He stumbled with her and she scared hold on to his back, seeing the floor in front of her. He stopped in front of the bed and she felt his hand on her thighs going up to her .

“Jinki! What the…”

He caressed her , groping her and she blushed.

“You are going to regret this!” she warned him.

He was probably taking his revenge cos she did the same thing for him when she was drunk.

He softly threw her in the bed and climbed on top of her. For a second she thought he was going to have rough with her and the thought made her a little scared yet very wet. Instead he brushed his nose against her neck and rested his head on the crook of her neck just like a kid hugging her.

“Oh my god Jinki….” She complained with a smile. Lillie was expecting more from a very possessive drunken man like him. She really wanted him to be rough with her…

However Jinki was taking her warning of no seriously.  He didn’t move an inch, his arm over her chest, all his body on top of her so she couldn’t move.

He nuzzled closer to her like a little kid searching for warmth and she caressed his head.

“It’s ok…I’m going to let this pass because you are drunk and because you are sick…” she said softly, finding his behavior very amusing.

As an answer he raised his leg and put it over her legs making her laugh.

She was his and she didn’t have a way out. He was very clear about it. She would forever be his…

 

Leave me and go, leave me and go, put away all of our memories

Leave me and go, leave me and go, stained with your tears

Leave me and go, leave me and go, the exhausted love

Leave me and go, leave me and go so we can both peacefully rest

 

 

Key came off from Lilies room and closed the door leaning against it.

“I need a drink!” He mumbled making Jules laugh out loud from the living room.

He walked in her direction and saw her lying down on the floor the bottles of soju still around her.

He kneeled down and lied down by her side.

They both giggled not knowing well why until they stopped, their heads close.

“Oh…I didn’t have so much fun in a looooong looooong time!” she said breathing deeply.

“Yeah….double dates are awesome…” Kibum said making her roll to her side to face him.

“Date? This was a date?”

He looked at her. She was using her arm as a pillow and her nose was red.

“You are really beautiful…and scary!” He said making her laugh.

“Thank you!” Jules smiled like a cat and closed her eyes. “I’m really sleepy…we should go to bed..”

“Together?” he asked giggling “Bummie likes that!”

“Juju likes it too!”

“Juju?” he looked at her once again.

Jules sat up disoriented and stood up.

“Bed…in my room…let’s go!” she grabbed Key hand and pulled him up and in the direction of her room.

They stumbled a little walking around in circles, both giggling like two kids.

“It’s far!” Kibum commented making her laugh.

When they finally reached her room Jules pushed the door open closing it after they entered.

Kibum let himself fall into her bed, with his arms open and his head on her pillow.

Jules watched him smiling.

“You look so good in my bed! You should stay there forever!”

Kibum didn’t answer, smiling amused and Jules climbed on the bed siting on his lap.

“Woman you have no shame!” he said smiling.

“When I was born I left all shame in my mother tummy.”

She leaned down, her nose rubbing against his.

“We are not going to have ...”

Kibum shook his head agreeing with her.

They weren’t…but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have some fun.

He caressed her cheek, his hand sneaking to the back of her neck pulling her closer to him, his lips crushing against hers.

They kissed passionately releasing all the frustration they held inside for so long.

Jules hands caressed his chest, rubbing his muscles, feeling the outlines of his body.

Kibum cupped her face and pushed her away.

“I also want to touch you…” he said with desire in his eyes.

Jules nodded, brushing her hair away so he could stare at her chest.

Kibum slide his hands down her body stopping on her chest, his hand cupping her s.

He rubbed them over the thin fabric of her black shirt and she moaned closing her eyes.

“Touch all you want!” she said making him giggle.

Who was that woman?! He loved her so much; sometimes so brave others so fragile.

Kibum moved his hands down her s to her tummy touching it.

“You are so beautiful Jules….and I don’t mean only your body…”

Jules placed a hand on his lips making him shut up.

“No mushy stuff now…we are groping each other!”

Kibum laughed out loud.

“My love for you multiplied right now…”

“Love? Do you love me?”

Jules asked, her hand going between her legs to his bulge groping him.

“!” Kibum moaned rising up and pushing Jules down into the bed, changing their positions.

“What?” she asked sulking “it was groping time!”

Kibum laid down by her side and touched her s, his hand moving down to her pants.

“I don’t think I will be able to control myself if we keep going…”

“Then don’t…” Jules said caressing his chest.

Kibum kissed her cheek and then moved to her lips, hungrily kissing her.

Jules took the opportunity to him again and this time he didn’t stop her.

He moved over her, fighting with the button of her pants opening them, his hands caressing her tummy above her .

“I want you…” he said against her lips making her rise her head and at his lip.

The ual frustration between them was serious.

“…but I want to remember this tomorrow…”

Jules knew what he meant. Her mind was fuzzy and she didn’t know half of what she was doing.

Kibum rolled from above her and stared at the ceiling…his mind in daze, his breathing unstable. He was so and confused…

Jules pulled his arm down and used it as a pillow, rolling on her side facing him.

“Let’s sleep Kibumie…ill meet Kibum the y beast later…”

Key giggled closing his eyes.

“He is dying to meet you…”

Key mumbled feeling Jules getting closer to his body searching for his warmth before closing her eyes. 

 

 

Lillie rolled in the bed and stopped staring at Jinki. He still had an arm around her and he was sleeping so peacefully, his head covered under the blankets. Lillie stared at him, under the covers fighting an urge to giggle. He was perfect in every way and he was her boyfriend. She sighed not able to fall asleep and decided to get up to drink a glass of water.

She slowly grabbed Jinki arm and moved from under it; grabbed her phone and moved outside to the kitchen.

Lillie checked her messages. Alex sent her another one.

 

Are you having fun? Who is sleeping in your bed?

 

She almost let the glass of water fall when she read the message. He knew someone was inside her bedroom, sleeping on her bed right now.

Maybe he was outside still keeping an eye in her apartment and the window of her room.

Lillie placed the glass on the counter and stared outside not seeing anyone.

She was so distracted thinking about what to do the next morning to take Key and Onew out of their apartment without him knowing that she didn’t notice Jinki entering the kitchen and back hugging her. She jumped turning around and he stared at her with sleepy eyes.

He was wearing his jeans but his chest and feet were bare and he smiled sweetly at her before kissing her neck lazily, his arms pulling her against his body.

He was still a little drunk, she could tell but she melted in his arms, caressing his biceps and kissing his shoulder.

She needed to be in his arms. No one could make her forget Alex and feel safe like he did. If only she could tell him…no…that would be selfish. He needed to recover, he was still sick.

Jinki moved from her neck to her lips kissing her demandingly, the kissing becoming more and more fierce, his tongue entering and she hummed against his lips, letting him push her slowly back until she bumped against the counter. His body stuck to hers, while his hands moved from her thighs to her waist pulling her up to the counter and opening her legs so he could position himself in the middle of them.

She placed her hands on the cold counter and let him her s under the shirt, while he hungrily kissed her lips.

He was still and she could tell, she could feel on his kissing, on the way he grabbed her, the way his skin burned against her body, the bulge in his pants that he couldn’t hide anymore. He wanted her and she wanted him too. Desperately! So desperately, that they were in the middle of the kitchen almost having not worrying that someone would catch them.

Jinki at her lower lip, tasting her and kissed down her chin and neck to her collarbone, his hand sneaking inside her pajama pants and touching her. She moved her hands quickly grabbing his shoulder for support, so she could raise her body and let him touch her better.

“Oh god…” she moaned almost falling on top of him. Luckily he was supporting her, his eyes staring at her, burning and his forehead next to her.

He couldn’t talk, but if he could she knew what he would say.

I want you…

Lillie closed her eyes, searching for his lips once again, kissing him deeply while he caressed her. When his finger entered her she bit his lip not controlling herself. Jinki smiled cockily knowing the effect he was having on her and she run her hands on his chest, caressing his s. He moved his finger faster, another finger entering her making her moan and bit his shoulder. He on her neck, inhaling her scent, feeling her wetness on his fingers, eager to take her, his own body burning with desire, hardening with the thought of entering her.

Lillie was close; she knew she was going to come soon if he didn’t stop. She didn’t want to come on his hands, there in the middle of the apartment. She wanted more than that, she wanted him to take her to her bed and take her roughly…NOW.

Her bed…

Who is sleeping in your bed?

She opened her eyes as if she heard Alex say it and pushed Jinki away abruptly.

He took his fingers from inside her, confused and stepped back staring at her startled.

She was looking at him as if he hurt her and he couldn’t ask her. Jinki stared around searching for a way to ask her but found nothing, so he mouthed it silently.

Are you ok? Did I hurt you?

That’s when Lillie came back to her senses. Jinki was in front of her, seeming worried, asking her if he hurt her. His lips red from her kisses and bites seconds before and her body still burning form his ministrations.

“I’m fine…” she breathed out making him breath out of relief. “You didn’t hurt me…far from it!”

He smiled, his hand going back to the elastic of her pants, while he moved closer, ready to finish what he started. Jinki kissed her neck slowly, his hand caressing her over her pants.

But she couldn’t now, even though she was wet and so ready to take him. She couldn’t stop hearing Alex voice inside her head.  She didn’t want to make with Jinki thinking about other man. It wasn’t fair to Jinki…and she would never have pleasure that way.

 “We shouldn’t do this here!” she said blushing, panting, and trying to think clearly. “And you are drunk and confused. We should wait for you to sober up…I also don’t feel well…I’m so sorry.”

He looked into her eyes and she made an effort to not stare away. He seemed sad and she noticed that he knew something was wrong.

After a while he kissed the tip of her nose gently and pulled her down softly. She felt weak and hugged his chest. Lillie had to fight an urge to scream for him to protect her, and to take her away from there, somewhere Alex wouldn’t find them. Somewhere they could be together forever.

Jinki hugged her too and caressed her back before grabbing her hands on his, playing with her fingers.

Lillie stared down trying to hold in all those feelings and he kissed her cheek pulling her back to the room.

She pulled him back slightly and he looked back closing his eyes and using his hands to make a sleeping pose.

She smiled. He was telling her they would only sleep. He was the sweetest… and she wanted to run away with him but she couldn’t.

 

For many days, I will look at your picture

And you will look at my gifts and we will shed tears on them

What will remain of a love that has ended? Let’s make it so at least our memories stay

 

 

Jinho was having one very surprising day. First he got a free coffee because the lady from the coffee shop decided to be nice for once; then he arrived on time for work and found the perfect parking spot, then the most surprising thing happened, Lillie was waiting for him.

The first time he saw her he didn’t think she was beautiful. She was normal with her brown hair and brown eyes, there wasn’t anything special about her and she wasn’t like Jules who looked like a blonde angel. Yet, Lillie won his heart. He didn’t know if it was her shy smile, the way she hummed a song while she typed on her computer or how she would skip some of the steps while she went down the stairs. She was cute, like a little bunny waiting for someone to protect her and give her affection. He wanted to be that man so desperately that even though he was surrounded by beautiful women willing to date him he wanted Lillie. He could only see her. He could understand that idol. She was special and Onew probably wouldn’t find a girl like her on his world, but Jinho couldn’t understand her. Why would she give up on having a normal dating life with a man, for someone who would probably never admit he dated her?

When Jinho saw Lillie standing near his desk, nervously staring at him, biting the interior of her cheek and wearing a big gray sweater with a yellow bee over her blue jeans he couldn’t help but smile. It was his lucky day definitely. Maybe she broke up with Onew and was there to ask him to comfort her.

“Good morning!” He said putting his briefcase down on his desk and pretending to ignore her, when he was eager to hold Lillie.

“Good morning…” she said with a weak voice making him look at her. He didn’t notice her dead eyes and the way her fingers moved nervously on top of his desk. She seemed…afraid.

“What’s wrong?”

“I really need to ask you something. It’s really important.”

“Are you ok?” he asked touching her arm, she didn’t move like she always used too and he knew something was definitely wrong. “Did he hurt you?”

“Who?” Lillie looked around lowering her voice.

Jinho stared at her confused. Who? Onew of course…

“Jin…my boyfriend?” She asked blinking her eyes as if the idea was impossible. “Never…no…it’s something else. Can you please talk with me somewhere private?”

“Private?” she wanted to be on a room alone with him?! Was she crazy? There would be even more rumors of them dating.

She bit her finger and he realized she was too scared to even care about rumors right now.

“Ok. We can use the meetings room.”

Lillie followed after him and both entered the room closing the door. Jinho signaled for her to seat on one of the blue chairs and she pulled it so she would face his chair. Lillie sat down rubbing her hands on her knees.

“I don’t know how to start…I’m sorry.”

“Take your time…” He felt that she was going to tell him something very important. Something she only shared with special people in her life and he wasn’t wrong.

“I’m not going to lie anymore. I’m dating Onew and I really love him.”

Jinho swallowed, her words opening the wound on his heart.

“Love? Are you sure, I mean it’s a strong word…”

“I’ve never loved anyone in my life…I know it’s a strong word.” Tears started to build in her eyes and Jinho felt uncomfortable. “There is no one else who can make me feel like he does. There will never be…I just know…There is only him.”

“Lillie…I’m sorry but why are you telling me this…you know how I feel and…”

“I know…and that’s why this is so hard to ask but I really don’t know much people in Korea. I need your help.”

“My help? For what?”

“Someone from my past came back. He might hurt Onew and I need to prevent it.”

“Well can’t he hire a bodyguard?”

“You don’t understand!” She yelled in pain and Jinho watched her not knowing what to do. He never saw her so desperate. “He is my life and this person can hurt him in different ways…ruin his reputation or his career…”

“I really don’t understand what you want for me!”

“The man from my past is my ex. I ran away from him and came here to Korea.” The was she said it made everything clear in Jinho’s head. Now everything made sense, how she didn’t like when he touched her, how she seemed so nervous lately. “He find out I was here. He used to…” She looked away as if she was embarrassed and he guessed what she was going to say even before the words left .

“He used to hit me and abuse me. He isn’t a good person and he would do anything to have me back. “

“Lillie…” Jinho looked at her just like Onew did when she told him, sadness and love in his eyes. Lillie couldn’t do that to Jinho, she couldn’t hurt him even if she was trying to protect someone she loved.

“I’m so sorry Jinho…I can’t do this after all…”

“No! Tell me…ill help you. I’ll do anything to help you!” he grabbed her hand and she didn’t move it away, she was giving him that moment. For once he was the one comforting her and holding her hand.

“I know. That’s why I can’t do it!”

“Yes you can. Let me help you this once. Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Alex, my ex is stalking me. Sooner or later he will find out about Jinki and he can’t. I don’t know what he would do. I mean…I don’t think he will hurt him physically but he will try something else. I need to convince Alex that I’m dating someone else…”

She looked down at her knees and he realized what she meant.

“You want us to pretend to date?”

“Yes…I’m sorry I just…I shouldn’t…”

“It’s ok. We can do that!”

“it’s only for a while until I find a solution!”

“Solution? Lillie you need to tell Onew. This is dangerous, your ex can try to hurt you or Onew may find out about this and…”

“I can’t. I’ll find a way before telling him.”

“A way? What do you mean?”

She didn’t answer but Jinho knew what she meant. Run away again…she was thinking of leaving Korea.

“I just need more time…I can’t leave him yet. Not while he is sick…please?” She wanted to see him on a stage before leaving, she wanted to say goodbye properly.

Jinho watched her cry in front of him, her hand still in his and he weighed the dangerous of doing what they were going to do. That crazy man she called her ex could also be dangerous for him and God knew what he would do to her too. And soon…soon she would be away from Onew life and his, leaving two heartbroken man behind.

“I’ll help you! Let’s do it!”

She nodded grateful and hugged him. It was a sincere hug and he awkwardly hugged her back knowing that she had other man on her mind and heart. He didn’t care. He would help her and stay by her side as long as she needed.

 

Leave me and go, leave me and go, you turn around first
Leave me and go, leave me and go, throw away this bad love
Leave me and go, leave me and go, someday, I hope you can softly smile at our memories

 

 

Lillie drank another sip of water and watched Jinho from the other side of the room looking at her. He smiled slightly and she tried to smile back. They were pretending to date now but Lillie asked him to be careful around Jules. She couldn’t know. As soon as she find out she would tell Jinki right away. Lillie knew her friend.

Soon even Jules would be left behind and would be someone from her past. It hurt so much and Lillie grabbed her mug again. She needed to take that mug with her and stare at Jinki face on it to comfort her wherever she worked next. Lillie wasn’t sure where to go but Japan seemed like a good idea. For the last few days she sent a lot of cv’s trying to find a job there and some answered back actually interested. So Japan would be her new home.

She was selfish because she thought about Japan for a reason. She still could see Onew singing and dancing there. She would go to SHINee concerts and act as a fan, as if she wasn’t once SHINee leader girlfriend.

Lillie sighed and stared at the clock in the wall. The minutes where passing and it was closer and closer to the time she needed to leave.

Jinho wasn’t looking at her anymore, trying to finish his paperwork on time so they could start their plan.

She asked him to take her home. That’s what boyfriends do, no? They made a deal, they could hold hands, and he could kiss her cheek, nothing else beside that. Kissing her on the lips was off limits. Her heart already hurt because she felt she was cheating on Jinki. He would be so mad if he found out.

Sometimes she would think about it, telling Jinki she didn’t love him anymore and was dating Jinho now. That would break his heart but would also make him move away from her.

Breaking Onew heart…she couldn’t do it. She would die…

Lillie wanted to be remembered as someone who loved him, not someone who cheated on him and broke his heart.  She wanted him to smile when he thought about her in the future, to replay the good memories they shared not to cry because of the bad ones.

Her phone vibrated and she grabbed it.

Tokki prince was written on the screen and she made a mental note to change the name for my one and only.

Hello! I woke up just now. I was dreaming with dumplings and I’m so hungry right now…

 

She answered back.

 

What do you want me to do? =P

 

Feed me….come feed me. Or can I come and eat at your place? You can sit on my lap…

 

Lillie looked away from her phone, her heart hurting. His lap…this idiot she called boyfriend. He was the man of her life and here she was preparing herself to “cheat” on him.

She noticed Jinho looking at her again. He knew she was talking with Jinki. How did everything turned out to be like this?! Wouldn’t she ever be able to just be happy?! Maybe it was destiny, maybe she was only given a few moments of happiness and now she had to pay for it.

I can’t. I’m going to work more hours today. I’m sorry. I’ll skype with you later.

It was for the best, she told herself once again. Lillie was protecting him.

Leave me and go, leave me and go
Leave me and go, leave me and go
Leave me and go, leave me and go
The exhausted love
So we can both peacefully rest
 

 

All her body cells were telling her it was wrong but she kept her hand on Jinho’s hand and they left the bus and walked on the direction of her apartment building. After leaving her, Jinho would get back and pick up his car. They decided to take public transportation so they would be sure Alex would see them.

“I hope Jules don’t see us.” Lillie said lowering her voice and trying to relax.

“Well we can always lie and tell her it was a bet or something…”

Lillie chuckled.

“As if she would believe that…”

“Do you think he is watching us now?”

“For sure…He sends me texts everyday describing what I’ve done…it freaks me out.”

“I want to kill him, beat him to a pulp…and I bet Onew wants too.”

Lillie didn’t say anything and looked at the floor.

“Does he know about your past?” Jinho asked while they walked.

“Yes…he knows and he also said he would beat him if I wanted…” she giggled remembering the day she told Jinki and how he said he would ttakbam Alex.

“Then tell him Lillie. I was joking about the killing part but Onew knows a lot of people with power and maybe he can find a way to protect you. We can also go to the police and…”

“You don’t understand. Alex is a powerful lawyer; he is seen as a very good and respectful person by everyone. I’m a poor teacher. Who do you think they will believe? I don’t have any proof…”

“The messages he sent you and…”

“If he hit me then maybe I could…”

“Don’t even say that. He won’t touch you.”

Even if he did she didn’t have any way to prove he was the one to do it.

“Thank you for this Jinho. I’ll stay here. It’s too dangerous to get near the door of my apartment. Someone can see us…”

They stopped near the subway station and she looked at him waiting. This was the moment Jinho waited for a long time. He could kiss her. It was only her cheek, since she belonged to another man who probably kissed her thousands of times, yet he wanted it so much. Sadly it was going to be for the wrong reasons. She tried to act normal but Jinho knew Lillie didn’t feel good about that.

“Tell Onew. He loves you; he will protect you better than me.” It hurt him so much to say that but Jinho knew it was true.

“I can’t. He would never let me leave and he would get in the middle of a problem that it’s not his…”

“It is, since you are his girlfriend…you are his, all…even the problems…”

“Well how lucky he is then!” she chuckled bitterly.

“He is! So lucky! I hope he knows that!” Jinho caressed her cheek leaning down and she closed her eyes trying to imagine Jinki kissing her instead so that if Alex was watching he would think she was a woman in love.

Jinho kissed her cheek softly taking his time and moved away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Be safe!”

She nodded before walking away and Jinho waited until she disappeared in the end of the street.

However he wasn’t the only one watching her walk away, someone with a black beanie also witnessed the scene.

 

 

Lillie didn’t have time to reach the door of her apartment because someone grabbed her arm and pulled her to a parallel street.

She didn’t have to look to know who it was. That grip on her arm was too familiar. He pushed her to the wall of the building and she bumped against it.

“DO YOU THINK IM AN IDIOT?” Alex screamed making her close her eyes. It was involuntary. Her body would react without her consent.

She didn’t have to ask why he was upset because he walked from one side of the sidewalk to the other as if he was trying to control himself. That was the first sign. He didn’t want to hurt her but he was going to. Soon he would hit her. She moved slowly away from the wall getting ready to protect herself. This time she would fight back. The weak Lillie died a long time ago.

Lillie looked to the end of the street and saw an old grandma carrying a bag coming in their direction. She was still far away but maybe she could use her to get away from that situation.

“There is grandma coming in our direction!”

She said looking at him. He stopped immediately, his eyes burning with fury and looked at her. She wasn’t the Lillie he used to know and that was making him even angrier. Why was she being so hard to get now? She was his…couldn’t she see it?!

“I know what you are doing!”

Alex said dangerously stepping closer to her.

“What?” she asked feeling braver; he wouldn’t hit her in front of a witness. She glanced at the old lady slowly, too slowly, walking in their direction.

“Pretending to date the idiot of your coworker! It must be great to have a puppy like man like him doing whatever you like. He almost pooped his pants from pleasure when he kissed your cheek…” he laughed “When he could kiss your lips…the idiot!”

“He is my boyfriend!”

Alex leaned closer to her surprising her.

“STOP lying! I know who is your boyfriend. I’m not stupid…”

She bit her lip looking away from him. The old lady wasn’t there anymore. She probably entered one of the houses. She was alone with him now.

He smiled knowing what she was thinking and grabbed her face making her look at him.

“DON’T EVER LIE TO ME AGAIN!”

He released her again.

“How is it? Leaving your country being a no one and landing in Korea to meet your idol? Are you happy now? His that idiot everything you dreamed of? Onew, right?”

“Don’t even say his name!” She pushed him trying to move away from his arms but he grabbed her wrist hurting her.

“Is he good to you? Does he buy you branded clothes? Does he take you to fancy restaurants? Or maybe…no…You probably like dating in secret! Having in cars and meeting in the middle of the trees…”

She paled. Alex was there on the night they almost had in Jinki's car. He was following them for so long. He knew all along about Onew. He probably bought the flowers on the same flower shop on purpose too.

“Please…” Lillie pleaded “Leave him out of this…” She swallowed knowing there was only one way to get out from that situation “I can break up with him and get back to you. Please don’t hurt him…” She would do anything.

“No.” He released her arm and stepped back. “It’s more fun this way. I can teach you a few lessons. Keep dating him. Make him take you out and buy you nice clothes…maybe teach you some tricks in bed…”

He caressed her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear.

She grabbed his hand instinctively taking it away from her face and he raised his hand to hit her. She didn’t close her eyes and stared at him but he never touched her, instead he stepped away again. A girl and a woman walked behind them and she understood why he stopped.

“I like this Lillie. It’s exciting!” Alex said after a while “I’ll see you soon. I have a business to take care of. You know I’m important now. Everyone wants me to work with them. But I’ll tell you when I’m ready to see you again. Don’t miss me much…”

He leaned over to kiss her lips and she put a hand in front of them.

Alex smiled before kissing her forehead and walked away.

Lillie stayed, leaning against the wall still processing what just happened.

Her trip to Japan needed to be faster than she was planning. She needed to say goodbye to Jinki sooner than she expected; she felt like dying.

 

(Why won’t the long stretched time catch me

I wait as I prepare for a future with only worries

I leave your name in my notebook called Life

As I write down a memory, I turn a long page

Putting the words I Love You far away, mixed with sighs

I’ll think about it as I hide my sadness

I’ll bury it inside my memories so we can both rest peacefully)

 

 

“You took a long time!” Key said playing with the penguin plushie on top of the couch.

Jinki didn’t answer and sat on the couch near him. His hair was all wet from the shower and he was wearing the t-shirt he choose for Lillie pajama and the same pants. It made him feel closer to her. It was stupid and maybe romantic…so not like him, but lately he just felt weird like that. As if she was moving away from him and he needed something to always remind him she was there, closer…besides it still smelled like her.

“I’m so bored…I think I’m going to cut my hair again!”

Jinki smiled and grabbed the penguin from his hands.

“Is that really for you girlfriend? It’s so cute…I want one too!”

Jinki hugged the penguin hiding it from Kibum.

“YA! I’m not going to steal it!”

Taemin entered the apartment then. He looked around the room and his eyes stopped on Jinki.

“What’s wrong?” Key asked noticing how the younger man seemed lost.

Taemin took his black beanie from his head, his hair a total mess but he didn’t try to fix it.

“Didn’t you went to search for your girlfriend?” Key asked again but Taemin was looking at Jinki.

He bit his lip nervous and Jinki curiously frowned.

“What would you do if you find out about someone cheating on your friend?” he blurted out in one go.

Kibum chuckled confused with the question, trying to ignore Taemin messed hair.

“I don’t know. I think I would tell him if I was certain…he should know!”

“What about you hyung?”

Jinki pointed at himself, wondering why Taemin wanted to know his opinion so urgently, before grabbing his phone typing.

Taemin sat by his side and read it while Jinki wrote.

I think it depends…maybe your friend should find out for himself. Who is being cheated on?

Taemin stared at his hyung face. He didn’t want to hurt him more. He was so depressed lately…He couldn’t tell him he was the one being cheated on.

 

Leave me and go, leave me and go

Who wants Jinki to kick Alex ? 

ME ME ! ahahahah

Cant wait...*evil plans* 

I'm sorry CEL readers....Im working on it...half through next chapter but DI was complete and I'm so excited about this.

It's ending you know? I have this planned since the begining...aigo....its very sad and exciting to write it...XD

Im starting to think about the sequel....XD I have to...I cant say goodbye to them...

Anyway, song: