“Do you think I am a ?”

Onew almost tripped on the stairs outside the dorm, his bike falling a few steps.

“WHAT? No…why would I think something like that?”

“Because I’m easy!” Lillie cried from the other side of the line.

“Easy? I spent almost a year to ask you to date me because you ignored or tried to run away from me, and after that you tried to break up with me…”

He picked up his bike, holding his handphone with his shoulder against his ear.

“But we already had …” she mumbled and he smiled.

“Yes….and I’m super thankful for that! Please let’s not stop!”

“Aish….silly! I’m being serious! We held hands, hugged and kissed on our first date…”

Jinki walked by the security guard and bowed.

“We did and it was wonderful…” He heard her sigh on the other side “Why are you asking this now?”

“Rin and Jonghyun…”

“What about them?” He pulled his bike outside the gate. He couldn’t wait to ride his bicycle. It was his freedom in every way. He would be outside the dorm, alone and just wandering around the streets.

“They only held hands and hugged…still Rin thinks it was too fast!”

Jinki chuckled.

“They only hugged? Really?”  That explains why Jonghyun looks so frustrated lately.

“Why are you laughing like that?! Please don’t tease Jonghyun about that! They are right…we didn’t wait at all…”

“Wait? Why should I wait when I know how much I love you and want to kiss you or hold you?!”

“You don’t understand!” She cried and he grasped the bike handle.

Lillie was acting strange lately, ever since that day on the dorm. She didn’t say what was wrong and every day there was a new thing to complain about.

Jinki was tired and he didn’t know what he could say to help her change her negative view about her.  One day was her hair, other her cooking skills, other her Korean, other the fact she was a foreigner…he was getting crazy.

Jinki loved her for what she was right now. He didn’t care about her hair, Korean skills, and nationality or cooking…he just wanted her. Onew was losing his patient and was afraid to hurt her even more. One day he would explode and tell her everything.

“I don’t! You are right! You are not a and you are not easy. It happened because it was right and I don’t regret anything. Having you in my arms, kiss you and make love with you…” he lowered his voice noticing the security guard listening to his conversation “is something I value beyond words…please don’t make it look like it was all a wrong thing!”

She didn’t answer from the other side and he hold his breath worried, he didn’t want to hurt her…

“I love you…I’m sorry!” Lillie said weakly “I’m just so….afraid? Worried? I don’t know…”

“I do! You are being your insecure old self and you can’t…” He paused reconsidering what he was going to say “Lillie I wouldn’t love you if I didn’t see something good in you and the same goes to other people around you.”

“Really? I am good?”

“Yes! Of course, I’ll make a list of what I love in you, if you want!”

Lillie chuckled.

“A one second list!”

“No…more than a one year list. I’ll describe all the little things I love but I can also resume it to one second…You are the only one in my heart. Isn’t that enough?”

“It is! I’m sorry! I’ll let you go enjoy your freedom now!”

However she didn’t look that certain.

“You were talking with him just now and you are already looking at his pictures! Oh! He looks different!” Jules said grabbing her bag from the couch and looking at Lillie’s computer screen where she was looking at Onew’s pictures.

“He dyed his hair!” She answered back scrolling down the news on the SHINee fansite. “And I can look at my boyfriend’s pictures whenever I want to”

“Good for you! Why did he dye his hair?”

“I think he wanted to change! I’ll miss his blonde hair though!” She sighed looking at the screen. SHINee was back with a packed schedule but still she met him a few times for a walk on the park. Sometimes he would visit her too but would stay only for a few minutes.

They were back to talking on the phone again.

“Where are you going?” Lillie asked turning to Jules who was wearing one of her red dresses and high heels.

“I have a date with Minho!”

“NO!”

Jules looked at Lillie surprised.

“Don’t go!” She grabbed her hand. “It won’t work out between you two and also you have the other guy…”

“What other guy?”

Lillie flushed embarrassed while Jules frowned at her.

“I heard you with him a few weeks ago, in your room.”

“Oh Lillie! That was a mistake! It was Minjae!” Jules said blushing.

“You got back with him?”

“No! I’m not crazy! I just missed him so much…Being in love makes us do stupid things but it won’t happen again!” Lillie could see she meant it.

“Jules don’t go out with Minho! He likes another girl it will be like Jonghyun…”

“I know my dear!” she smiled “I’m doing this to catch someone else!”

“What?”

“I think I have a little crush on Key. Don’t tell anyone! Not even your boyfriend!”

Lillie giggled and nodded. Jules and Key would be perfect, a match made in heaven.

Jules left the apartment and Lillie got back to her SHINee stalking. She had another post to read.

She stared at it and reread it a few times. Apparently her boyfriend was going to record a show in the jungle and strangely forgot to tell her.

Lillie fumed and got up from her spot walking around on the living room until she grabbed her handphone and called him.

Jinki felt his handphone on his back pocket vibrate and he stopped his bike and grabbed it just to see that it was Lillie calling again.

“Hey!” he answered, cleaning the sweat of his forehead with his hand.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m riding my bike! I told you!”

“You did?” she asked “Are you sure you are not doing something else like bungee jumping or something?”

The tone Lillie used was a little aggressive and he knew right away something was wrong.

“What happened?”

“Are you going to the middle of the jungle record a show?”

“Ah…yes!” Jinki decided to go a few weeks ago and forgot to tell her. The news was probably out already. “I think it’s going to be so much fun!”

“I bet it will and you were going without telling me anything…” So that was the problem!

“I forgot!”

“We don’t forget when our lives could be in risk….damn Jinki!” He smiled and bit his lip. She was so cute acting worried. Lillie truly cared about him.

“I’ll be fine!” Jinki tried to reassure her.

“That’s not the point…we were together yesterday! You could have told me and just a few minutes ago we talked on the phone…”

“I was busy kissing you yesterday and today I forgot!” He giggled.

“Don’t joke!”

“Oh come on Lillie…it’s not a big deal!” He answered upset. She was over reacting again.

“It is to me! I’m sorry if I’m a nagging girlfriend who wants to know about your life! I’m sorry if it’s tiring for you to share things of your life with me!” she cried turning the call off.

Onew stared at his handphone frustrated. Now she even hangs up on him?! He was getting tired of this angry, insecure Lillie. He needed to do something.

I keep falling because of a stupid thing called self-esteem Everyday

When my sharp words cut deep inside your mind

Jinki stopped to catch his breath and looked at his handphone. Probably it was best if he went by her house and talked with her. A real talk where he would make her tell him what was worrying her lately. It wasn’t only the Jungle issue. Something was definitely wrong.

“Onew!” A sweet voice said from behind him and he turned around.

“No! Without make up its Lee Jinki!” My-young was in front of him looking as beautiful as he remembered her. Her black hair caught up on a ponytail and wearing sport clothes. “You changed! Riding a bike in the middle of the morning!”

“You didn’t!” He answered back and she smiled pleased, that smile that was capable of melting him and he felt his heart jump on his chest.

My-Young was his first love. They were high school friends and both loved music. He decided to be a singer first and she followed him later.

“You said you would call but never did!” She complained with a cute voice.

Jinki was going to answer but she interrupted him.

“I know you have a girlfriend! I can understand that…but I had a boyfriend too back then! “

“It was different! You were on a break and not sure about your feelings!”

“I guess we can say that!” She smiled again playing with her hair.

“How are things going?” He asked trying to make small talk.

“I’m still singing and dancing. I’m going to release an album soon! Finally!”

“I’m happy for you!”  He was. Jinki knew how much she worked for that. She was serious about music and he always admired her. 

“I want you back Jinki!” She said without any shame and he felt his ears get red.

“Ah….” He stuttered looking at her. He always had a crush on her and for a long time he tried to have a relationship with her but things didn’t work out because she loved another. “Our opportunity ended! I’m sorry!”

His phone vibrated in his hand and he saw that the caller was Lillie. She was probably trying to apologize to him but he couldn’t answer it now.

Jinki canceled the call and My-Young grabbed his arm.

“But don’t you wonder what could have happened if things had worked out back then?”

“But they didn’t…” he released his arm softly “I’m really sorry! I have another person right now!”

My-young stepped aside to let him ride the bike.

He left her and made his way back home trying to erase My-young voice from his head.Now, she was someone from the past.

Taemin turned off the TV and walked quickly to the entrance of the dorm when he heard the door open.

His hyung looked at him, his hair sweaty since he went for a bike ride.

“What happened?” Taemin asked. Something was wrong. Onew looked strange.

“Nothing….everything…” he answered taking his sneakers off and walking to the couch where he collapsed.

Taemin walked after him and stared at his hyung who looked like he lost all his energy.

“Tell me. I’m not good at giving advices but I can hear it hyung. Is it Lillie?”

Onew just groaned at the mention of her name, his voice muffled by the couch pillow.

He raised his head slowly.

“Why is everything so complicated when it’s about her?”

He sat up on the couch and Taemin sat by his side in silence.

“She loves you hyung…and women are complicated! At least that’s what men always say.”

Jinki chuckled and stared at Taemin.

“What do you want to ask me?”

“How do you know I have something to ask you?” Taemin asked surprised.

“You are obvious and you are at the dorm at this hour.”

“Sorry Hyung, this is going to sound strange, but can you lend me a picture of Lillie?”

“Why?”

“I’m going to pretend she is my girlfriend to make Yun jealous.”

“Are you sure that is a good idea?” Onew asked, his stare making Taemin uncomfortable. He always tried so hard to be seen by the others like an adult, but most of the time he felt so lost.

“You think it’s childish?” he asked unsure.

“No. I also like to make Lillie jealous. The way she acts after it makes me see how much she loves me and that makes me happy but…at the same time it pains to see I’m hurting her with my actions. Do you want to hurt Yun?”

“There are moments I want to hurt her. She broke my heart but…I love her!”

“Then don’t do this Tae. Give her another chance. Be happy.” Onew advised him.

“What if…what if she does it again and leaves me?” Taemin was scared. He wasn’t sure he could survive all the pain again.

“That’s something that can happen but don’t let your fears of getting hurt get in the way of your happiness….oh!”

“What?” Taemin asked when he saw Onew get up from the coach.

“I know! I know what I have to do with Lillie!”

Taemin smirked his eyes shining.

“Oh you do?”

“Ya! Nothing ert! I just had one idea.” Onew told him before striding to his room.

“You look down today!”

Rin commented while she washed the vegetables. Lately Lillie was coming by her apartment almost every day and she would teach her how to cook. It was fun since Rin loved to cook and this way they would chat about SHINee and their boys.

“I had a fight with Jinki.” Lillie said with a weak voice. “We fought once, before, but never like this…And it was my fault!”

“Oh. Why? What happened?”

As I open my eyes my mind aches as i remember what happened yesterday, what to do, what to do, Oh My…

Even though I know it’s my fault

Lillie cut the carrots slowly like Rin taught her.

“He didn’t tell me about going to the jungle and I yelled with him. I’m acting like a crazy girlfriend and he is probably getting tired of me…”

“No he won’t Lillie, he loves you…” Rin assured her smiling.

“I yelled at him, Rin, and I hang up on him. I even called after a few minutes trying to apology but he canceled my call!”

“He was just busy…”

“No he wasn’t! He didn’t have any schedules this morning.” Lillie stopped cutting the carrots and Rin turned off the water. “He didn’t try to call me too…maybe it’s over!”

“No! Don’t say that! Maybe he is just thinking about what to say…”

“I’m tired Rin. I won’t ever be perfect for him. Im trying really hard to be someone he isn’t ashamed of, someone he can introduce to his family and friends but… I really appreciate what you are doing, teaching me how to make Korean food but I don’t think I’ll be able to cook for him someday…” Lillie’s voice failed and Rin knew she was crying.

Rin didn’t know what to do and she cleaned her hands on the dishcloth and hugged Lillie who sobbed in her arms.

“You don’t have to be perfect Lillie. No one is and I don’t think Onew wants a perfect girl. You have to start believing in his love and stop feeling that you don’t deserve him. You must love yourself first if you want others to love you.”

Suddenly the room was filled with the melody from Colorful, Lillie’s phone was ringing.

They both looked at the handphone vibrate over the table with the name Tokki Prince blinking and Rin smiled.

“See? He is calling you.”

Lillie just stared at it and Rin pushed her toward the table.

“Why aren’t you picking it up?” Rin asked confused.

“I don’t know what to say and I’m crying!” she answered sobbing.

“Give me the phone. I’ll answer it for you while you clean your tears!” Rin said steadfastly and Lillie gave it to her on the exact moment the call stopped.

“You looked a lot like Jules right now…” Lillie said looking at Rin serious and resolute expression.

“Please don’t say that!” Rin gave the phone, now silent, back to Lillie and opened the tap again.

Lillie said something wrong.

Key sat on the floor and looked at Taemin practicing.

“I think you are doing that wrong.” Key observed and was going to get up when the door of the practice room closed with a loud noise.

Onew stormed inside looking frustrated.

Waiting for your call, thinking ’bout U What can I do

“I think he fought with Lillie.” Taemin informed Key who was surprised with Onew’s action.

Jinki was upset. She didn’t pick up the call and he didn’t know what to do anymore.

Jonghyun came into the room and looked around; ignoring the fact that Onew was fuming at the corner.

“Where is Minho? We have a meeting.”

“He had a date today, maybe he is late.” Key said looking at the clock on the wall.

He was feeling uneasy since Minho left the dorm in the morning. He wondered what Minho and Jules decided to do together, what they talked, if something happened between the two…He wasn’t jealous…He wasn’t, he said to himself.

“Well let’s go then. He will join us later!” Jonghyun said grabbing his bag from the floor “Hyung let’s go!” He yelled to Onew who hastily followed him forgetting his phone on the bench.

Taemin cleaned his temple with a towel and Onew’s phone started vibrating. He grabbed it and smiled reading the name of the caller “ChickenTokki Princess”.

“Thanks for today, it was fun.” Jules said grabbing her coat from the back seat of Minho’s car.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home?”

“I’m positive. I have to meet Lillie, she sent me a text and she looked stressed out.”

“Ok, if you say so…”

“Minho, as much as I liked this, I don’t think we should do it again. I’m sorry, you are nice and everything but…”

“I spent all the time talking about another girl…” He finished.

“And I spent all the time asking things about your fellow member.”

Minho nodded smiling. Jules was interested on Kibum. It was pretty obvious.

“We are pathetic. Dating other people to forget the ones we really want by our side.”

“True, but I’m not going to give up on Key. I’m going to make him fall for me.”

“I can help you if you want.” Minho offered.

“Really? Well then, I can help you too. I can’t believe two people who love each other can’t be together. I just can’t accept it. Love is so much more important than everything else. It’s the main reason we live.”

“Well, Eun Ha, the girl I like, she doesn’t like me back.”

“Are you sure? I mean, Key was really worried and he gave me the impression she liked you.”

“No. She pushed me away!”

Jules stared at Minho’s sad face and her shawols feelings came out. They deserved all the best.

“Don’t give up.” She grabbed his arm softly “Ask her one more time. You have to keep trying until there is not a chance anymore…”

Minho nodded and smiled weakly before he left the car and opened the door for Jules to come out.

Jules bowed to him and they said their goodbyes. Minho closed his car and decided to walk the rest of the way back to the company. They had a meeting and he still had 20 minutes, besides it was a short walk.

He dodged a group of fangirls outside the company and walked behind the building intending to enter through the staffs entrance.

At that moment he saw Eun Ha come off with another cordi, both laughing.

She froze when she saw him and both bowed to Minho, before she could walk away Minho placed himself in front of her blocking her way.

“Can we talk? It’s important.”

Eun Ha looked nervously at her coworker; thankfully she was one of the few that talked with her.

“Can’t be at another time? I have to go buy fabrics now.”

“It’s really important so it must be now!” He said firmly.

“I’ll go ahead and wait for you ok?” The other cordi said and Minho dragged Eun Ha to the back of the building.

“What are you doing? Are you crazy?”

“I am!” I’m absolutely crazy!”

He cried and Eun Ha looked at him surprised, she never saw him lose his temper.

“Do you want to know why? I just had a date with a beautiful woman…”

“Oh good for you!” Eun Ha said trying to look happy but clearly upset.

“Let me finish!” she just stared at Minho “She was great but I spent all the time talking about you. Isn’t it crazy? Talking about a woman who doesn’t care about me?!”

“I didn’t say I didn’t care…” she answered weakly avoiding his gaze.

“Then you care?”

“You are a nice person…” She stuttered clearly trying to avoid the question.

“Damn Eun Ha! I love you! I even fought with the others because of you!”

“I didn’t ask you anything!” she complained raising her voice “Why do you make me feel guilty?

“I don’t want that! I want to know what you truly feel about me. Tell me! If you don’t feel a little of affection for me I’ll give up and not bother you anymore. Just tell me, please and end with my misery.”

Eun Ha looked at the floor, tears coming to her eyes. She loved him so much, a man she was only allowed to look at from afar.

“Eun Ha, please…” Minho cried and she looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“We can’t!” she said painfully.

“Yes we can! We can do all we want, we just have to face the consequences, but if you are by my side, I know we can do it…together!”

He was so sweet, and his big eyes looked at her lovingly, his fingers cleaning the tears on her eyes.

“We will have to be careful, for you and me.” She added, near to giving in to his crazy offer.

“Does that mean you love me?” Minho asked, a boyish smile illuminating his features.

“I think I do.”

“Just think?” He asked unsure, the smile never leaving his face.

“I’m sure!” she smiled a little, her heart filling with worries about what would be their future from now on, but at the same beating for relief since now she could be true to her feelings.

Minho cupped her face with his hands caressing her cheeks and kissed her forehead.

“I will protect you. I promise!”

She nodded and he pulled her into his arms.

Eun Ha hugged him back and for a few minutes there was nothing else beside them.

He moved away slowly and grabbed her hand.

“I have to go, I’m already late for a meeting. Can I see you later?”

“Call me!”

“I don’t have your phone number!” He chuckled, taking his handphone from his pants pocket.

“Where is it? I can’t believe it!” Jinki cried from his room.

Kibum stopped at the entrance ad looked inside, too surprised.

“What are you doing?” his room was complete chaos. Onew wasn’t one of the tidiest members but he wasn’t a messy person too.

His bed covers on a pile in the floor, his bedside table drawers open, his travel bags all opened.

“I lost it!” Jinki said with a painful voice.

“What? Your mind?” Key chuckled.

“No! The ring! My couple ring!”

“Oh….that’s bad!”

“I know!” He sat on the bed, rubbing his head, messing all his hair. “Why is everything getting worsen and worsen. She is angry with me, I missed her calls and now I even lost the ring!”

“Keep calm. It must be here somewhere. When was the last time you saw it?” Key asked looking around the room.

“Japan!” Onew mumbled.

“!”

“I know! I ruined everything!”

“It’s just a ring. Talk with her. She will understand.” Key patted his shoulder.

“She is already so angry with me. I have to buy another one.”

“Just talk with her before. Meanwhile ill help you search for it and Jonghyun too. He is in his room. He can help.”

“Thanks! I should call her now. I haven’t talked with her all day.”

Key nodded.

“I’ll get Jjong and we will start searching on the living room.”

Onew thanked him and grabbed his phone just to see he had a message from Lillie.

I’m sorry. I was a total this last days and I understand if you want to break up with me.

He groaned in pain and called her. She picked up a few seconds later and he knew she was waiting for his call, probably crying and agonizing alone, just so like her, making movies on her head.

“Hi.”

“Hi…are you still mad?” He asked afraid.

“No. It was all my fault. I understand if…”

“No don’t do that. I’m not going to break up with you just because we had a little fight.”

“Little? I’ve been crying all day.” Lillie complained.

“I told you can’t cry without my permission! Now I’ll have to punish you…”

She giggled and he smiled relieved.

“Meet me. I have something to tell you, and no I’m not going to break up with you, and don’t deny that wasn’t what you thought right away.”

She sighed and he knew he was right.

“Where?”

“The park in 15 minutes, at the same place.” Onew said getting up from his bed to get ready for her surprise.

“Ok. See you soon…”

Lillie changed clothes quickly, exchanging her worn out tracking pants and old sweater for a new sweater and jeans.

Jules was watching Key old shows in the living room and just smiled when she saw Lillie storming out.

She run all the way to the park and only stopped at the entrance fixing her hair and walked slowly trying not to catch attention to herself.

Jinki was already siting at the bench, wearing jeans and a black jacket, a cap on his head and no makeup. When he saw her he rose up and took something that he was hiding.

Flowers, a bouquet of purple and white lilies.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you about the show!” He said earnestly and she forgot everything she planned to tell him.

“Are they for me?” she asked blinking her eyes.

“Of course. I wanted to give them to the guy who always runs around here, but I think he didn’t come today…”

She giggled and grabbed the bouquet carefully.

“I love them, thank you!”

“They are you….you know…lilies, pure, enchanting and beautiful just like you.” Onew told her, a sweet smile on his lips.

“That’s so beautiful… I don’t know what to say.”

“Forgive me please!” he pleaded looking cutely at her.

Just hit me rather than being mad

I hope you can at least feel better that way

Love is like that, it grows while arguing

Hit me however much I hurt your feelings, just hit me rather.

“Yes, but I should be the one to ask you to forgive me. This last days and today also…”

“It’s ok. We can talk about it, but before that I have something to confess.”

“Confess?”

“I lost it….I lost the ring.”

Lillie stared at him without understanding what he meant until she raised her own hand showing him the ring on her hand.

“I never took mine off since you put it on my finger.” She said, the smile disappearing from her face.

“I know, I’m sorry but you know how I couldn’t wear it and then it disappeared.”

“Disappeared? How? You said you would find a way to have it with you even if it wasn’t on your finger.” She accused him. How could he lose something he said he would cherish?!

“I know but somehow I lost it.”

“When?”

“I don’t know…maybe when I was in Japan…” he said with a weak voice noticing how her expression changed. She was disappointed with him. Japan was weeks ago and he noticed it only now…

“You don’t even know when?” she asked angry.

“It’s just a ring, I can buy a new one!” he knew he said the wrong words because she started to cry.

“It’s not just a ring. It meant something; it was a promise to be together, that you loved me. Buying another one is not the same thing!” she cried remembering their date and how he was so romantic. Now all that he said were lies.

He stepped forward, intending to hug her but she moved away from him.

“I didn’t mean it like that, and a ring is a ring Lillie, my feelings don’t change because I lost it.”

“But they will, they are already changing.” She yelled at him, hugging her flowers, hiding behind them.

“What do you mean?”

“You lose rings, you forget to tell me things, you don’t spend time with me, you are ashamed to introduce me to your friends and family….it’s all the signs already. I knew this was going to happen, you are getting tired of me because I’m not what you expect.” She said a trail of tears on her cheeks.

“What?! What are you talking about? And yes I’m tired, tired of not knowing what to say anymore to prove you that I love you. What do you want me to do? Tell me and I’ll do it!” He raised his voice and she cried even more.

“I don’t know. I just feel so unhappy lately, I can’t stop thinking about us, and what I can change to make you like me more.”

“If I like you more I’ll explode!” he said frustrated “Damn Lillie if you are so unhappy then there is no reason to be together! That’s the opposite of want I want. I just want you to be happy…”

She stared at him and he bit his lip.

I hope it’s not, I hope breakup isn’t in our path (No) it’s just my own thought, right? (right?)

I’m a coward who cannot even ask, a greedy person who only knows for myself

“Ok. Let’s do it!” she took the ring off tossing it to the ground “Now is lost too! It’s just a ring anyway, right?! And this way you won’t have to be tired anymore! Its over!” she said in a low voice, staring at the ring she just tossed.

Lillie hesitated, her heart telling her to run to his arms and ask him to forget everything she said, but her body moved and she walked away from him.

Onew just stared at her back until she disappeared in the middle of the trees.

He bent down and pick up the ring rotating it in his hand. “J heart L” was still engraved on the inside of it. If that ring was so important how couldn’t she believe what was written inside it?!

Did she really break up with him? Again?

He placed the ring on his pocket. She was right, that ring was too valuable. He would do anything to put it on her finger again.

Onew didn’t regret anything of what he said, and for him that talk wasn’t over. He would clear everything once and for all even if that meant hurting her.

They were meant to be together and he would never give up on her.

I want to hug you (oh yeah)

I want you (yeah)

Saying stuff that weren’t planned to be said

Forgive me for hurting you

Her tears didn’t stop falling even though she was cleaning them with her hand. She was already regretting it; she was crazy for breaking up with him. He was everything to her and she didn’t know what to do anymore. How would she survive a day without hearing his voice, a week without kissing him?!

Lillie didn’t think, she only said what she felt at the moment and now it was too late to go back and ask him to forgive her.

She hardly could see the street in front of her and moved like a zombie on her way home.

She knew that sooner or later that would happen. She always ruins everything. Maybe Alex was right. Maybe she didn’t deserve to be happy.

Jinki’s words hurt her more than a physical wound. She couldn’t blame him, no one could love someone like her. She was selfish, mean and boring. He deserves someone who could love him and accept his love, someone who made him proud, someone he could show off to everyone and not hide.

Lillie hugged the bouquet of flowers she still had on her arms. The first bouquet she received from him and the last one.

The stupid self-esteem keeps telling me to wait Everyday

If you came to me first, I would have apologized

She sobbed and crossed the road just to stop and look back.

For a moment she thought maybe he was going to follow her and insist with her to not break up with him.

But Jinki wasn’t following her.

In dramas and movies they always follow and there is a happy ending.

Not in real life though. Not in her life.

Talk to me Talk to me until you smile

Hi!

I dont even know what to say...now you know why I was avoiding DI. Its over! *sobs*

We all knew Lillie would explode someday and ruin everything....it didnt help that Onew is an idiot....Joking! XD

Oh Im sad...My babies cant fight...>//<

Who wrote this? Who?

Oh It was me...Im mean!

I'll end the story here! mwahahah! No I cant....I want a happy ending...T___T 

Song fits perfectly that it scares me! 

Subscribe (please. Bookmarking doesnt count. I cant even know who bookmarks my stories), and comment!

Love u! 

Dont kill me!