With my keys tight in my hand I walked towards his room. His manager and sister were talking. Joon and Mir were sitting outside of his room. As I was going to approach them, their manager and Cheondung's sister were walking toward me. They were too into their conversation that they didn't notice me. I walked slowly and Mir saw me first, then Joon. 

"Noona," Mir acknowledged, while standing up. Joon stood up too giving me a half smile. He was obviously struggling to wake up. 

"He's inside if you want to see him," Joon told me. I nodded and walked to the room opposite from the seats. I pushed the door wider and made my way in. My heart was thumping vigorously and I did not know how I would react to the sight of him. My hands grew clammy and I held my breath.

There he was, paler than before. His head was wrapped and he laid there in a tense state. Guilt rushed over me. I wanted to cry but I had no right whatsoever. I was the culprit of the situation. I took a step forward and took a seat on the chair left beside him. 

"Cheondung-ah," I whispered, refraining myself from choking up.

"Cheondung-ah. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for letting you get into this mess in order to protect me. I'm even more sorry for saying 'no' to you. Even when you knew the answer yourself, I had so say it out loud. Mianhe, Perhaps you don't want to listen to my apology. Wake up Cheondung...I know you can hear me," I whispered, grabbing his hand. I shook his hand lightly, hoping he would wake up. 

"Park Sang Hyun wake up," I said a lot louder only to find myself tearing up. Seeing that he lay unconscious, I sighed to myself and hung my head down. I slowly let go of his hand as I wiped my tears away. I was such a terrific person. I caused too much trouble. After a while, the nurse came and she 'nicely' forced me out of the room and I had no choice but leave. I didn't bother saying anything to Mir and Joon as I walk towards the elevator defeated and thoroughly upset with myself. 

I pressed the ▼button and waited lifelessly. The moment the doors opened, it happened as if everything was filmed in slow motion. The eyes I dreaded the most were there looking at me. I hated the way he looked at me but I couldn't make myself look away. I was cringing inside myself, wishing that he would let me be but at the same time, tell me that it wasn't my fault when it obviously was. 

Instead, he walked out of the elevator looking straight ahead. He ignored my presence and carried on. My heart felt as if it shattered a thousand times. I was on the verge of tears. Dragging my feet to the elevator, I almost didn't make it in, but thanks to a kind couple, they held the door open for me. 

"She looks so in grief. Should we ask her if she's okay?" the woman asked the man in the lowest voice possible. 

"She does look unusually pale for her skin color doesn't she?" he whispered back. 

The ride to the lobby felt unending as I was trying my best to compress my emotions and expressions. The moment the doors opened, I rushed out, breaking into a run. I didn't stop running until I found my car. My hands were shaking as I tried to fit my car key into its hole. I was gasping for air. The tension and shame I felt was unbearing. Why was I such a despicable person? Was this bad fate I was stuck with?

Just as I tried to fit the car key one last time before throwing it away, I felt a hand over mine. Wishing that it was who I wanted it to be, it wasn't.

"It wasn't your fault Jikyung," Joon said to me, eyes sincere yet hurting, obviously because his team member was lying unconscious due to the person right here. 

"Aniyo," I laughed. I shook my head while laughing at how ridiculous I was. 

"Jikyung..." he started.

"IT WAS MY FAULT! I INSISTED ON BRINGING HIM HERE RIGHT AWAY BUT HE DIDN'T LET ME. I EVEN REJECTED HIM. THAT'S THE WORST PART. HE GOT INTO A CAB AFTER....after I said no," I shouted in one breath. I collapsed onto the ground slowly. 

"What do you mean reject? What do you mean about saying no?" Joon asked, crouching down to my eye-level. He looked confused and worried.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend. He told me he liked me and he asked if I felt the same. When I didn't answer, we both knew the answer. I'm a horrible person aren't I? I'm so pathetic," I cried. 

"It's not your fault you don't like him. I warned him about this before actually but he insisted on winning your heart," Joon told me. 

"I did. I promise. So it's not your fault that you were under that situation. I think he's just in his confused state. If you give him some space, I think he'll be fine. Don't worry. When the time is right, I'll help you get through to him," he smiled.

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course! For my personal stylist," he winked. That made me laugh. He gave me a quick hug before going to his next schedule. 

Recieving glances from a couple of people, I came to me that it was time for me to go home. Although Joon gave me encouraging words, I couldn't help but still feel horrible and guilty. If I never appeared in front of MBLAQ again, would that help things return to its normal state or would that be running away from reality? Could I afford running away?

I sighed as I got into my car, successfully this time. I started my engine and started my drive home. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right when I was examining the hospital room and realizing why I was here, I heard footsteps. They weren't just anyone's footsteps, they were hers. I immediately shut my eyes. How did I know? Well I knew her rhthym by heart. This, I would always keep to myself. 

What was she doing? Was she grabbing my hand? As much as I wanted to pull my hand away from her contact, I ended up choosing her warmth over everything. I wanted to hear what she had to say, but at the same time, I wanted to sleep in a different direction and not have any contact with her whatsoever. 

I listened closely at her speak. I knew she was on the verge of tears, hearing how her voice grew softer. I almost jumped out of my bed when she almost shouted. I felt guilty. She was blaming herself as to why I was in this state. I only wanted to protect her from that man. If she had said yes, I probably would have jumped for joy then collapsed onto the ground, so either way, I would still find myself on a hospital bed. 

In the end, the stupid nurse decided to "shoo" Jikyung out of the room in order to change my IVs. She set my right hand down, sighed, and exited the room slowly. 

Should I go back to normal and act like nothing has ever happened and be her friend or should I keep my distance away from her because I was still so bitter? Only time would tell. Yes, only time can tell. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I leaned against the wall in an empty waiting room for visitors. What was this I felt?

I waited for her yet she never came. I dissed her over the phone. I ignored her presence in the elevator. 

Oh yes, I was definately angry. How did I know Jikyung was with Cheondung? Well I had some reliable sources that were present at the restaurant. He brought Jikyung to my favorite restaurant. What a little cheater.

Didn't he say we would battle it out and see who won her heart? How dare this punk lay on a hospital bed. As a hyung, I felt responsible for his status. Should I give up on Jikyung since Cheondung likes her or would I be hurting my dongsaeng by continuing my ways to get Jikyung's attention?

I sighed, stuffed my hands in my pocket and headed to Cheondung's room. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right when I was about to enter, I heard happy voices. It couldn't be. Cheondung was awake?

I hurried in and nearly skidded to a stop. Cheondung was sitting up in bed and being pampered by his hyungs, Mir, and of course, his sister and her bandmate. I bowed toward them

"Annyeonghasaeyo noonas," I greeted.

"Annyeong Seungho-sshi! Look, Cheondung is awake now," Bom clapped. I smiled and nodded, taking a look at him. 

His expression was unreadable. He whispered something to G.O. and he looked at me. 

"Hey Mir, go get us some drinks and snacks," G.O. said to Mir suddenly.

"Do I have to go alone?" Mir whined.

"Yah, take this then," G.O. said while handing him money. Problem solved. Mir skipped out of the room and now the five of us, including Cheondung were left.

"Dara noona, I have a few questions about...can I ask you about them outside? Of course Bom noona can come along. It's important," he stressed.

"Oh, no problem," Dara replied. Bom looked confused for a second but she went along with it. With that, the three of them exited the room. 

Here I was, standing, facing Cheondung. We were staring at each other. 

"Hyung,"

"Cheondung," we said at the same time. 

I walked closer to him and took a seat in the chair next to him. 

"Cheondung-ah. I know what happened before you came here so you don't have to explain yourself. I'll let you and Jikyung be, since you two seem to getting along just fine. I'm officially out of-"

"No you don't hyung," Cheondung said, interrupting me.

"Mwoh? What did you say?" I asked, confused. Was this not what he was going to tell me?

"I confessed to her but she turned me down. In a way, I think she didn't want to tell me she liked you," he said.

"How so?" I asked, still confused.

"Well...I asked her if it was me or HIM. She wouldn't look at me or answer me so I'm pretty sure the guy she likes is you. I'm sorry hyung. I'm sorry for cheating in this battle. I guess this is my consequence," he said, looking down.

"Don't say so. Even if that's the truth, I don't think I can like Jikyung anymore. I feel horrible for why you're here. I failed to protect my dongsaeng when I vowed to do so-to everyone," I said, clearly disappointed in myself. 

"HYUNG!" Cheondung exclaimed, getting worked up.

"What are you getting worked up about?" I asked, startled.

"Why are you being like this? Can't you tell? HYUNG and Jikyung should be the ones together. I know being a hopeless romantic is unuseful and thanks to this situation, I am being honest to myself now. I can't lie to myself saying that she likes me. I know that you two had something going on but I had to get in the picture. I'm the one sorry. Honestly speaking, I'm glad I'm here right now, because we can all clear things up. So stop blaming yourself for not protecting me. I was the stubborn guy when Jikyung begged to bring me to the hospital. Instead, I forced her for an answer, startling her. I still have to apologize for scaring her but it's different for you. When she came to see me, I heard her speak. She is really guilty right now and if you don't chase after her, I'm really afraid. Afraid that she'll never want to appear in front of us just so we don't have to see her face and be reminded of everything that has happened. SO GO. Go chase after her hyung!" Cheondung said, pushing me out of my seat. I was dumbfounded, trying to absorb everything he was saying. 

I nodded and without a second thought, I broke into a run, charged passed the nurses and went to find Park Jikyung.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sighed as I looked into the mirror. I knew what I had to do. I had to think about what I was going to do. 

I changed into leggings and a large t-shirt, grabbed my duffle bag and other things, and headed out to my car. I drove off in silence, deep in thought. 

When I was at the stoplight, I recieved a phone call. It was Yang Seungho. 

Should I pick it up? I wanted to, but I was afraid. I didn't want to hear his voice right now.

Don't call me ever again.

That meant he didn't want to talk to me. Then why was he calling me? Thinking about whether or not to answer the call, I sighed and stuffed it back into my duffle bag, muffling the ringtone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yah, Park Jikyung, answer my call," I said to myself while calling her for the twelfth time. I left messages and texts. She was avoiding my phonecall. I knew it. She was avoiding me. I had hurt her too much. I was such a bastard. I hope I will be able to apologize for my actions before it's too late. 

Wait for me pabo. If I could exchange my glares with eye smiles, I promise, I will make you the luckiest girl on Earth. Just one thing left. I have to find you first Park Jikyung.