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Flickering Lights in the Night Sky by SkyBluePlains
Review by coolgirlaamy
The Title (5/5)
I love it. This is such a great title for your story. It’s relevant to the story, extremely relevant actually, and looking back at it after having read the one-shot brings tears to my eyes, knowing the meaning behind it. It’s just so beautiful and the words just flow together so well, sounding quite poetic actually. When I first saw the title, I became really interested to see what the story was going to be like. The title stands out from other ones, it can’t be compared to other titles and I’m so glad you haven’t gone with a title that relates to love because it wouldn’t have made such an impact that this one does. Seriously, well done.
Description and Foreword (8.5/10)
There isn’t really much of a description so there isn’t much to judge you on in this section. However, I do understand that it you would struggle to write a description for a one shot as one-shots themselves are short stories that doesn’t have an extremely elaborated plot line. I do feel that you did manage to write a good description though which was successful in attaining your reader’s attention. I mean, you had me from the first sentence. I suppose the simplicity of it, the fact that it was just a short sentence, made me interested, made me want to read more and keep reading.
Then you ended the description as good as you started it. That one line, ‘But who knew it would hurt so much when stars flickered and died.’ it’s so… I suppose it’s just so full of emotion, mystery, something we won’t find out until we keep reading. I just love this description.
I don’t really like how you have done the whole ‘Title: , Characters: etc’ thing. Won’t the person reading it already know these details before they have even reached that point? I don’t feel that it is necessary to have those things there but you’re the author so you can do what you want.
Plot and Originality (30/30)
I’ve never really read a story like this before so its fair to say that this is an original story so I can’t mark you off for originality. I love original type stories, love reading stories with plots that I haven’t seen before. It’s nice to try out something new. I suppose that is the reason why I tend to like oneshots or shorter stories more than the longer ones. The storylines always seem to be more original and they use fresh ideas. I love one-shots.
Now onto the plot. Loved it. I don’t really know what else to say I mean, I just loved this to pieces. You caught so much emotion in this that by the time I had actually reached the end, I had tears streaming down my face. The tragedy made this story, it brought out so many emotions. I thought for a moment that all you were going to focus on was the love developing between the two main characters but I was certainly wrong. Yes, there was love, but not all love can last. Love doesn’t cross barriers and it isn’t always good. (Wow, I became quite dramatic there.)
Another thing I just loved and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to mention it here is that, is the references to those two stars and I like how you chose to title the story in reference to them. When he looked back at those two stars at the end, it broke my heart. (This was probably the point where I was in tears.) It was beautiful yet extremely tragic at the same time. Seriously, good job.
Characterisation (20/20)
These characters were really well developed and I like how I got to know them, especially Woohyun. It’s hard having to develop characters in a one-shot since you have to write a whole story in one chapter but I thing you did it very well.
I loved Woohyun in this story. He was extremely cute, which is what I expect since he looks and seems to be really cute in real life. I liked the cheesy aspects to his character, the way he teased Sunggyu but sometimes I thought it was too much and you kind of went overboard. There was too much sweetness sometimes that I just cringed. I love cute guys but that was way too much and I’m pretty sure that there aren’t actually guys out there that would act like that. I did grow to love him though. I wanted to hug him when Sunggyu didn’t turn up on that night, when he found out the truth. It just pained me to see that love had hurt him as much as it had and that things really had to end up the way that it had.
I wonder why Sunggyu never said anything, why he never wanted to tell Woohyun what was going on. At one point, I got quite mad at him because it was like he was leading Woohyun on and accepting all of this love without really treating Woohyun the same way. Why couldn’t he have just left Myungsoo? Why did he wait until the end to tell Woohyun how he felt about him? I have so many unanswered questions, don’t I?
I just wish that things could have ended up differently, that the good people could have the chance.
Writing Style and Language (24/25)
Your writing style is fine. I don’t see anything wrong with it and I quite enjoy reading your writing. It’s really good and I feel as though you manage to capture a lot of emotions within your words, which is sometimes hard to do. I somehow feel that I enjoy this story better than the other story that I had reviewed for you since last time I felt as though you were lacking in the amount of emotion but this time you have definitely improved and I like it. Good job.
The spelling was fine - I think I may have noticed one slight error but it wasn’t a huge issue. Grammar was okay aswell, there was a few times where I felt that there was something strange about the way the words flowed together but it didn’t affect how I read the story so no problems there either.
There was one issue that I did have though and it was to do with tenses. When it was in Woohyun’s POV and he was talking about what was actually happening like when he said things such as ‘I said’ or ‘I heard’ for example, it was in the past tense, however, whenever he was talking about how he was feeling, it was in the present tense. It’s something you may want to think about looking over and I’m not sure if I’m actually correct by saying this but I felt that it was strange and I have therefore taken a mark off for it.
Flow (8/10)
There’s nothing wrong in this section. The flow was fine and I feel that the story went at quite a good pace for you to get all of the details in. However, there were a few points where I felt things might have been going a bit quickly. I think the introduction to Sunggyu happened too fast, I mean, we have only just been introduced to Woohyun and now there’s suddenly Sunggyu. I also think that Woohyun falling in love with Sunggyu also happened a bit quickly. They had only met like twice before Woohyun had feelings for him. I have chosen to take two marks off you because of this.
Total (95.5/100)
Well done! You're featured. I loved the story so please come back whenever you need another review and I will be glad to do it for you :). Thanks for choosing Read Read Read Review Shop for a review.
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