http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEyzTIP4tjE

listen to this, it might help create the mood for this chapter(:

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My parents passed away three months ago and ever since then i still couldn't really accept the reality that i am currently living in. I still felt that it was all so surreal or maybe i was just dreaming about it but of course, even dreams ends and the reality resurfaces. I've lost my parents. Both of them in ablink of an eye.

They were on their way home from the airport when a big truck hit the taxi they were in. The driver of the truck was drunk. He wasn't in his right mental state but he wanted to drive his stupid truck. Drunk people shouldn't drive, didn't they learn about that before? I guess he doesn't care about that.

Because of him, i could no longer have anyone to call "omma" and "appa". I no longer have a family. I'm an only child so i only have myself and that's it. No siblings. No relatives because mom and dad was an only child too. My grandparents died long ago too.

So if i don't hate or despised the drunk driver, i must have lost my mind or gone completely insane.

So what if he was sentenced to death? Am i suppose to feel relieved that he was gone too? Was i suppose to feel much happier? Of course not, it didn't make a difference to me. His sentenced to death didn't made any changes that will make me feel at all happy.

Will his death bring back my parents? Will everything return back to the way it was before? It won't even bring back the life i once had. He destroyed my life. He destroyed everything and it was all just because he had to get drunk that very day and drive his truck the same area as my parent's.

I wasn't alone though, i still have him. Ever since the day i was being told of my parents' death, he hadn't left my side once. He has always been here beside me. His name is Park Chanyeol, we have been together for 3 years now. He always make me feel like i'm the most precious thing in the world and i wouldn't know how my life will be like right now if he isn't here with me. I guess i'll probably maybe just maybe have the thought of killing myself.

So after my parent's funeral, Chanyeol brought me along to live with him. He lives alone in his apartment because his parents brought him that before flying off abroad for their business which i guess they will only be back in afew years, living their 21 year old son by himself.

I don't even remember when was the last time i called out his name. I haven't really talked ever since the day of the funeral. It was always him coming to me and talking to me even though he knows the only response he is going to get was a slight nod or maybe a slight mumble from me but he never once get irritated by my actions or complained the way i'm behaving lately instead he tries hard to make me talk again or just to make me feel better.
 

That is why my life will fall into a million pieces if he was to leave me one day.

"hey, i'm home" i heard him called out from the living room.

I didn't know if i should rush out the door to greet him back or just continue sitting down by the window in the room. I let my body decide on what it wants and i ended up just leaning my head against the window glass and wrapping my arms around my legs that i had brought against my chest.

"I've brought some food for us to eat tonight, i'm a little too tired to cook today so i brought your favourite food" i could see his reflection on the glass, that smile on his face.

"Mmhmm" i mumbled.

"I'll go set up the table and then we could eat together alright?" he told me while showing the paperbag in his hand.

It was then i turned around slowly and looked at him, he still had that smile on, never once had i caught him not even smiling. "Give me 5 minutes!" and then he left.

Its not that i don't wish to talk but ever since that incident, i find it hard to even open my mouth to say any words out.

I slowly let myself out from the room and walked towards the kitchen, Chanyeol was busy setting up the table. I realized he was still carrying his backpack on his bag. Silly Chanyeol. As soon as he saw me standing by the table, a grin appeared on his face. "let's eat!" and i just nodded my head.

I took a seat infront of him and picked up my chopsticks before placing the small piece of chicken inside my mouth. "It's nice right?" he asked me and i just gave him a small nod. " i quickly rush home when i gotten it, i was afraid it will get too cold"

I didn't reply and continued on eating. I know i'm being rude but i can't help it.

"~~~~~~, have you ever wanted to go college?" the moment he asked me that, i stopped munching on my rice and looked up to him. "I mean, i was just asking, you graduated almost four months ago and well maybe you could-" before he could finish what he wanted to say to me, i already left the table and went inside the room.

"I shouldn't have asked her that..." Chanyeol cursed to himself.

Chanyeol got up from his seat and walked towards the room. "~~~~~?" he called.

I was sitting by the balcony, leaning against the wall behind me. I heard him calling my name but i didnt even make a single sound or respond to it. I looked out at the view infront of me. Even though it was already dark, the lights around the neighbourhood makes the whole view lively. I could see little kids playing with each other by the pool, a few couples seating by the bench, just holding each other hands and laughing at each other.

When was the last time i did that with Chanyeol? I asked myself.

"i'm sorry" He was already standing next to me. "I shouldn't have asked you that" he took a seat next to me before gently grabbing my hand and intertwining my fingers in his.

I shouldn't have acted the way i acted, it wa