HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY APPLERS!

I SARANG YOU ALL SO MUCH! 

/kiss/

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DARA

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt the rays of the sun softly touching my cheek. I wanted to stand up from my bed but my body, my heart, my soul feels so tired. It’s like I don’t have the energy to even lift on finger.

A groan came out of my lips as I feel frustrated at what was happening to me. I was usually not this weak. I am not weak. I refuse to be weak. But………….why do I feel weak?

Unconsciously, a tear fell from my left eye. I wiped it away. It’s a surprise that I can still shed tears when I thought that my tear ducts have dried already because of too much crying I made last night before I go to sleep.

I stared at the ceiling, hoping to find the strength within me to face all this pain I’m feeling inside. It was my fault after all. I should’ve never believed everything he said. I should’ve never believed those things he did that made my heart flutter. I should the only one to be blamed why I’m feeling like this. If I was not that gullible, I wouldn’t be hurt.

At first, while I was in the cafeteria walking away from them, I feel hatred. Hatred towards Kwon Jiyong for hurting me like that. Hatred towards his friends who laughed at me when Jiyong was breaking my heart. And hatred towards everyone who keeps on stepping on me. Revenge seems like a really good idea then, it even crossed my mind. What if I’ll start dressing like a woman and make Jiyong drool over me. And when I succeed, I’ll drop him like he’s one nasty trash.

But when I had time to think things through, my mind cleared. I was hurt, yes. But never in a lifetime could I ever seek for revenge. That’s just not my thing. I was never the girl who seek for vengeance. Even if my …………….

I halted where my train of thought is going. I don’t like where it’s leading me. So with that, I slightly shook my head and slowly stood up from the bed. Then I roamed my eyes around my dorm room, it was dark and cold. Like I was feeling inside.

And when I glanced at my right, a tear fell again when I caught a glimpse of the picture of the very person that gives me strength. That only person that I continue to live and the reason why I kept on struggling every day. 

“Omma,” I said as I grabbed the picture frame and brushed my fingers on it, hoping I could get the warmth I badly needed for my cold heart and broken heart. “Will I get through this?” I asked then bowed my head and held the picture tight to my chest. “Please help me get through this, omma…” And soon, tears were streaming down my face. I tried to control it but I can’t. All the pent up feelings came bursting out of me.

Missing my omma so much. Seeing that guy on the café that made the feelings from the past be resurrected in my heart. And most especially, Jiyong breaking my heart and dumping me like a useless garbage. All have their limits. And I guess my heart being broke is my limit.

“Omma… I need you right now..”

______________________________________________________________

JIYONG

“Yo. Yo. Yo,” I greeted my friends as soon as I got to their table in the cafeteria. I high-fived Seungri and Daesung and sat beside my best friend, Taeyang.

“So, what’s new?” TOP hyung asked as he sipped on his juice.

“Nothing much..” I said, then roamed my eyes and smiled seeing Kiko looking back at me with a seductive smile on her lips. I smiled back at her then winked before I returned my attention towards my friends.

“I see you’ve got another target, hyung..” Seungri said, smirking while wiggling his eyebrows maniacally at me. I can only chuckle at his antics.

“Hey,” I elbowed Youngbae as he seems so silent today. He just keeps on looking at the gate as if he’s waiting for someone to come. “Why are you so gloomy today, bro?”

“Nothing,” he simply replied then shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes at him before I turned my attention towards Kiko again and maybe I could flirt with her through my eyes.

But what I saw made my smile on my face faltered and my gaze be locked on her. I saw the nerd walking with her head bowed down and her hands tightly clutching her books. Gone was the girl who wore dress on our “date” and returned the girl with an eyesore clothing. I crunched my nose in disgust as I followed her with my gaze. With the way she was walking with her head bowed down, I’m sure she will bu--.

“Omo,” I heard her exclaim softly when a male student bumped her. I knew it. She’s so stupid. Gah! “Mianhe,” she softly said.

“Ohhh..” I heard the guy started in a sing-song voice that made me predict that he’s going to humiliate the nerd. I know this guy.. I think his name goes with Jay Park or something. “Are you already done with Kwon Jiyong? Can I have a night with you?  Cuz I think you’re good in bed that’s why Kwon Jiyong endured your existence,” he said…. And without me knowing, my fist curled into a tight ball.

“Excuse me.. I still need to attend my class,” Dara whispered but I heard it. That Jay dude’s friend started laughing loudly that got every student’s attention, including mine.

“How much do you cost eh? I’m willing to pay..” Jay dude said that made his friend roared in laughter.

I gritted my teeth as I stare at Dara’s expression. There was nothing on her face. Not even a glimpse of embarrassment. Her face were void of any emotion. I wanted her to talk back to that guy and punch him hard across his face. And I don’t even know why I’m feeling and acting this way.. Like I cared for her.

With that in my mind, I rolled my eyes at them and then turned my back so that I couldn’t see the commotion anymore.

But after a little while, I heard the girls gasp in surprise. Maybe something happened. I don’t know. I turned around and look what was happening but my eyebrows furrowed in confusion when I saw an unfamiliar tall guy standing in front of Jay Park, who’s currently on the ground and nursing the side of his lips. The guy’s hands are curled into a tight ball that I can see the veins wanting to erupt. And judging with the way it looks, I think the guy punched Jay Park really good.

“What the is wrong with you, man?!” Jay Park shouted as he struggled to stand up. “And who the hell are you punching someone without any reason?!”

“I think your mother didn’t taught you well how to respect girls,” the tall guy said calmly as he turned his back on Jay and faced Dara who has her back on me.

Wait.. Does this guy knows Dara? How come? I mean, I never saw her talk to people. She’s literally an outcast in this school. No one dared to talk to her because she’s an eyesore to everybody.

“Come, Dara. I need to talk to you…” I heard the guy said with a softer voice, like he was luring Dara to come with him.

“No. Get away. You’re not from this school, so why are you here, anyway?” Dara said in a voice that I didn’t recognize. It was so cold. It was so empty..

“Please. Dara.. I really want to talk to you..” the guy pleaded.

Wait.. What is going on here? I furrowed my eyebrows as I stare at the two figures talking silently not so far from me.  Seungri was nudging me on the side but I shrugged him away. I am really curious on who this guy might be and why the hell did he punch Jay in the face? Is he somehow related to Dara? Well, judging on their conversation that I heard, they know each other.

Dara started her tracks away from the crowd with that guy following her like a puppy. I snickered. I never thought that I would see the day someone will follow Dara like a servant to his king. Is the end  of the world near already? I laughed at my inside joke as I turned around once more and reached for TOP hyun’s juice.

“Owww. That freaking hurts.” I heared Jay Park whimpered.

“You deserve it, you bastard..”

Wait, who said that? And why is Seungri looking at me like I have said something wrong? Oh, ! I said that?! What the is wrong with me?

________________________________________________________________

AUTHOR’S POV

Dara quickened her steps when she felt someone is following her. She can’t believe that he’s back. Just when she thought that she made it clear when she saw him at the café not so long ago that she doesn’t want to see him again, here he is.. playing the role of her knight in shining armor once more.

“Stop following me.” She hissed under breath without looking back at the guy.

“I just need to talk to you, Dara..” the gut said pleadingly, attempting to hold her arms but she shrugged it away.

“What more do you need from me, huh?” Dara turned abruptly making the guy to almost collide with her. She gritted her teeth as she glared at the man in front of her.

“I just want to apologize, Dara..” the guy said, bowing his head while fiddling with his fingers.

Dara drew out a dry laugh as she looked at the man incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Sorry doesn’t cut it. You’ve hurt me, Jae. And nothing you do will make me forgive you. So please, stop showing yourself to me because seeing you just brings back the pain you’ve caused me. And seeing you made me hate you more.”

With that, Dara turned around and left Jaejoong, her childhood friend and first love, looking at her retreating back with sadness filling up his eyes.

________________________________________________________

Dara sighed relief as she roamed her eyes around the café she usually went to and found that Jaejoong’s not around. She immediately went to her usual spot and drew in a deep breath. What happened a while ago made her want to bawl her eyes out. She was just so hurt and it pains her more keeping it inside her. But realizing that she only had two days left until graduation day, she willed her herself to endure it some more then she’ll be gone to a place where no one could possibly hurt her.

She just looked ahead of her and think. So many things are inside her head now, and she don’t know what she will entertain first. Her head is just in chaos right now, even her feelings.

Dara furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head a little to the side when she saw a man, older than her, entering the café. He looks out of place in the simple café. His presence just screams luxury and money. She wondered what his business here was.

“I found you, at long last...” the man standing in front of her said as he smiled affectionately at Dara.

“Uhm... I'm sorry to be rude, but I don't know what you're talking about,” Dara said, looking at the man in front of her wearing luxury clothes and accessories. She shook her head. No, she don't know this man and she's sure as hell that she doesn't know a rich man.

“You won't believe me if I tell you who I am without any evidences... So, why don't you come with me and let me explain everything to you,” the older man said, still smiling at her as he held his hand out, offering it for her to take.

“No..” she shook her head, looking disbelievingly at the man.. Does he think I'm fooled that easily? She was fooled once, she had learned her lessons. She stood up and started gathering her things. “I'm really sorry, mister.. But I still got tons to do. I have to submit my requirements in an hour. Why don't you bother someone else,” Dara finishes as she turned her back to him and started her tracks towards the door. But what he said next made her stop. 

“I'm your father.”

Dara stood rooted on her spot, eyes wide and mouth agape. Then memories of her childhood flashed before her very eyes that she clenched her fist tight. She, then, took her time in turning around to face the man again. And when she is already face to face with him again, a bitter smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

“What did you just say?” she hissed through her teeth.

“I'm your father, Sandara..”

“Bull!” she exclaimed that made the man to be startled. Then, Dara let out a sarcastic laugh. “I don't have a father. You know why? Because you left me and my mother alone. You chose wealth over my mother. You chose money over your own daughter. You were not there when I needed you the most. You weren't there to comfort me when my mom died. So don't you dare go saying that you're my father because I don't even have one..” she, then, looked at him from head to toe, eyes showing the pain she had endured for so many years, the pain she had kept up inside of her.

“And, you don't even have the rights to call me on my own name,” she finished as she abruptly turned around and left the man standing there, watching her retreating back.

“I’m sorry,” the man whispered even if Dara won’t hear him anymore. The look on her eyes sapped his energy away. She looked hurt that it made his knees weak and his heart beat painfully. His little girl, the little girl he adored so much hated him now. Just because he chose what he thinks is the best for both Dara and her mother. He should’ve searched for them. But now it’s too late. Dara doesn’t look up to him as her father anymore. The love she once felt for the man was replaced by hatred.

“I promise to make things right, princess. I hope you could forgive me for abandoning you and your mother,” he whispered once more, eyes shining with unshed tears as he turned around and walked away.

___________________________________________________________

DARA

I looked up and sighed.

PARK HOTELS. One of the most powerful hotel industry in the whole word.

I don’t know what I’m doing here in front of this intimidating building. I’m even wondering what came to me that I suddenly went in this building. I’m supposed to be in our school grounds right now, accepting my diploma but here I am, standing in front of this tall building. I sighed once more before I started my tracks towards the reception area.

“Anneyeonghasseyo..” the pretty lady behind the desk greeted me nicely as she bowed down and smiled.

“Hello,”  I greeted back and forced a smile.  I just wish she didn’t notice it. “I would like to meet Mr. Park Jin Young.”

“Do you have any appointment with Park Sajangnim, agashii?”

“I don’t have one,” I said softly while fiddling with my thumb.

“Oh. I’m really sorry, miss.  But I can’t grant your wish to see Park Sajangnim if you don’t have any appointment with him..”

I was about to give up and thought to myself that being here is really a bad idea. I shouldn’t even be here in the first place. Gah! What am I doing with myself? With that in mind, I smiled politely at the lady behind the desk and turned around and was about to walk away when someone called my name.

“Dara?”

By the looks of him, I can clearly say he was surprised seeing me here in his building.

He went towards the reception with a furrowed eyebrows as he slammed his hands on the marbled desk that made the lady be startled.

“What are you doing? Why didn’t you led her up in my office?! Haven’t you noticed her?” I heard his roaring voice. Wait, his workers knew me?  Why? Is he somewhat hoping for this day to come that I’ll be looking for him?

The lady behind the desk looked at me and her eyes widens.

“Joesonghapnida,  Ms. Park. I didn’t recognize you,” the lady said as she continuously bowed her head.

“Aniyo. It’s not your fault. You’re just doing your job,” I said then I slowly went towards Park Jin Young.

“I need to talk to you,” I said. He nodded his head and led me towards the elevator.

“Sandara, I want to apologi—,“

“I’m not here to listen to your nonsense apology. I came here because I’m asking you a favor,” I said as I looked at the ground. Knowing that I’ve already decided about this two days ago, I still feel nervous.

“What is it? Tell me… I’ll do everything I can to make things right,” he said, desperation lacing his voice and made me look at him and stare straight in his eyes.

“You know what?” I started, my voice shaking with so much emotions. Seeing him look like a desperate fool, the sadness emitting from his eyes made my heart throb painfully. Even if I hated him now, he was still the father I once had. He was the man I looked up to and loved with all my little heart. “There’s a little part of me that still love you.. But I guess that part was outgrew with another part of me that loathed you for leaving mother and I,” tears started streaming down my face that I had to wipe them away so that I could see him clearly.

“I’m really sorry, Sandara.. I’m really sorry..” he said, then I saw him walking towards me slowly. “Forgive me, princess. Forgive appa..” he said softly, making my knees buckle because of the intensity of the love I feel for this man. How can my heart be this weak? I shouldn’t even feel love towards him after what he’s done yet here I am, still loving him like a daughter should love her father.

 Why did God made me this weak? Why did he made me such a loving person that even if I wanted to hate someone, I would still end up loving him? Why?

I drop down to my knees, with my tears falling down on my cheeks as well. Hearing him call me princess just like what he used to call me when I was a little girl made me break down. I thought I can go through this pain alone, but I was wrong. I needed someone. I need someone who will be there to help me heal this broken heart of mine. I need my father.

“A….. A-Appa,” I said softly, my heart swelling with forgiveness as I buried my head on my palms.

And soon after, I feel warmth enveloping me. The same warmth I missed when mother had felt me and went to a much happier place-heaven. The same warmth I missed that used to be there when I was being a coward and afraid of the storm. The same warmth that envelops me whenever I would fall down during my childhood days because I was so clumsy and unsteady to balance myself.

I wrapped my arms around the arms that is surrounding me and I sobbed harder.

“I’m really sorry, princess. Appa’s really sorry..” he continually whisper in my ears as he kissed the top of my head.

“I-It h-hurts,appa…” I said, pertaining to what had happened to me while he was gone. Pertaining to what had happened that made my heart be broken like a fragile glass. Pertaining to what Kwon Jiyong had done to me.

“Don’t worry, princess. Appa’s here now.. And I’m going to protect you no matter what,” he said. And I believed him. I believed him because he is my father.

“Please take me away from here, appa. Please,” I begged as I held onto him tighter, seeking for that strength I badly needed when all this happened.

I badly need to be away from here. Away from Korea. Away from Seoul. And away from Kwon Jiyong. I realized that I can’t risk that chance of meeting him along the streets of Seoul. And being here in this place brings back the feelings I thought I had forgotten but has not. I just want to be away and let time heal the wounds Jiyong created. I just want to be away and move on from all the hurtful things that happened.

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/sobs/