DARA’S POV

I looked outside and sighed for the umpteenth time. I tightened my hold on the SpongeBob doll on my arms, as if I’m seeking comfort from the inanimate thing. Tears are threatening to fall from my eyes once more as memories of seconds, minutes, days and weeks I spent in that secluded island with the man that made me feel so protected, so safe, yet the man that almost left me unfixable years ago.

I inwardly shook my head. I shouldn’t be entertaining thoughts about him. I should be erasing him for my thoughts, my memories, and my life permanently. That’s the reason why my sister and I are a thousands and thousands of miles above land, so we could go back to our once peaceful life. My once peaceful life. Where Kwon Jiyong doesn’t exist but just a mere ugly memory from the past.

“Are you okay?” I turned my head to the side and smiled reassuringly at my sister, Bom. Words cannot express how much thankful I am to have her. Because if not for Bom, I’m probably broken now, more broken than I was before, and my inner self will not have enough strength to fix herself and just stare at her broken heart from one corner, bleeding, unfixable.

“Yeah,” I replied silently then turned my head once more to the clouds that seems to be following me.

I wonder how people managed to get back up after breaking their heart twice. I was supposed to believe that after the rain comes the rainbow. But why haven’t I seen the rainbow yet? Two rains have passed by me yet I haven’t had any glimpse even one color of the rainbow peek from my life.

Am I destined to be always the one hurting? They said that everyone deserves to be happy. But why does my happiness is always temporary? Am I not deserving of a happiness that will last a lifetime? Is fate really that cruel to me?

Falling in love with a wrong guy. How can that be so painful? Why can’t it be all hearts and flowers? Why can’t we just bump into the right person for us, fall in love with the right person and be happy with the right person? Is pain really necessary for us to learn a lesson or two?

And why do I always have to be so stupid? Still loving the same man who caused me pain. I thought I moved on from him. I thought I’ve pushed pass by my stupid self and managed to let the strong me emerge and take control of my life. But then, with the just the mere sight of him, the walls I’ve put around myself came tumbling down without me noticing it. It melted to the ground and I became again the stupid girl who’s helplessly still loving the same man, hoping he could love me back the way I want him to.

I scolded my inner self. I shouldn’t be thinking like that. I should be planning what I should do once I get back to California again. Planning what I should do to completely wipe Kwon Jiyong out of my life. I know it wouldn’t be easy. But I promise myself that I’ll somehow get there, that someday, somehow I’ll completely forget about Kwon Jiyong and the feelings that came alongside him.

One day, I’ll be able to face him again feeling nothing.

“Hey, you seem to be in deep thought..” Bom interjected my train of thoughts. I looked at her and saw concern shine from her eyes.

“Just thinking of what our life will be like once again now that we’re going back to Cali. I’m gonna miss appa,” I smoothly lied. I don’t want Bommie worrying over me anymore. She had done so much for me. And I’m positive I can fight this with my own.

“Hmm,” Bom just hummed as she took a spoonful of corn from the can she was eating. She doesn’t look so convinced but she let it slip.

I sadly curved my lips into a smile and leaned my head onto the headrest. Then I closed my eyes and let sleep drift me away.

AUTHOR’S POV

“Yeobo…” Mrs. Kwon started as she lied beside her husband on their bed. She wrapped her arms around him and looked at a distant, her mind travelling to her only son, Kwon Jiyong.

“Hmmmm?” Mr. Kwon hummed as he put the book on his hand down on the bedside table and faced his face who has a faraway look on her face.

“I’m worried about our son..”

“What about him, honey? I don’t see anything wrong with Jiyong.”

“It’s not about his health or physical appearance I’m worrying about.. It’s about his future,” Mrs. Kwon sighed and sat up.

“Then what are you worried about, hmmm? You know you can always tell me everything that troubles you, yoebo,” Mr. Kwon affectionately touched his wife’s cheek as he sat in front of her.

“Who’s going to look out for him in the near future? I’m afraid that Jiyong’s too occupied with work that he won’t be able to think about his future. I want to see him go and marry a woman who’ll take care of him for the rest of his life, love him like how I love you. I want Jiyong to have a family of his own,” Mrs. Kwon finished as her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes shone with worry as she think about her oldest.

“You worry too much, my dear..”

“Yah,” Mrs. Kwon swat his hand away and her eyes turned into slits, thinking that her husband doesn’t take this matter seriously. “Of course I’ll worry about him, about Chaerin. They’re my children and I love them with my all. And I want what’s best for them. And I think Jiyong marrying the company isn’t the best I want for him,” Mrs. Kwon rolled her eyes and pouted her lips.

“Aigoooo, I know you meant well, dear. And I want what’s best for my children too. But I don’t want meddling into their business. If they’ll settle down, I want them to be the one who’ll find their spouses.”

“But…… But……,” Mrs. Kwon wanted to reason out to her husband, tell him that she’s worried that Jiyong’s too busy to think about marriage and children. And much to the older woman’s horror, she remembered that Jiyong haven’t introduced a single girl to them.

“Don’t worry.. I’ll talk to our son. I’ll tell him that you’re worried about him and that he should go loosen up and find a date for himself.. Happy?” Mr. Kwon suggested and it somewhat alleviated her stress. All she wanted is to see her son happy with the arms of a woman.

Mrs. Kwon nodded her head and smiled a little.

JIYONG’S POV

“Can I disturb you for a minute, son?” I looked up from the pile of papers on my desk and smiled wildly seeing my mom standing just behind the closed doors of my office. I stood up from where I was sitting and made my way towards her and kissed her on the cheeks.

“Omma, what made you come to the only place you loathe?” I as I assisted my mom towards the expensive couch situated on the right corner of the vast office.

“You know I only step foot in this company whenever I feel the need to rescue you or your father from being buried in work,” omma said as she handed me the packed luch she must have prepared for me before she went here.  

“You know I don’t need rescuing, omma. I love working. But thanks for coming and spoiling me like I’m a kid again,” I grinned at her then placed the packed lunch on the table nearby and sat beside omma on the couch.

“But I rarely see you nowadays! Whenever I will ask your father about your whereabouts, he would always tell me that you’re here, finishing some paper! You’ve been drowning yourself with work ever since you got back from that business trip with your sister,” Omma said as she pointed an accusing finger at me and I can only bow my head so she won’t see the emotions that must have been swirling my eyes at the moment.

Everything changed after that business trip in Jeju. Everything changed ever since I realized what my true feelings are. Everything changed ever since I realized that there’s no way Dara could ever love me back that way I want her to. Everything changed since then because I have come to accept the fact that Dara and me could never happen.

“I just need to finish some reports, omma,” I said in a low voice, avoiding omma’s watchful gaze.

“If you’re stuck here in this four corners every day, how will you ever find a wife? You’re not getting any younger, Jiyong-ah. You need to find someone who’ll take care of you, someone who’ll love you. I am just worrying about your future.”

I remained quiet, a picture of a woman kept on flashing inside my mind.

“Your father told me he’s going to talk to you and will try to convince you to go out and date, but as much as I can see it, he’s done nothing to convince you to leave your work for a while and find yourself a date,” omma said as she squinted her eyes on me then pouted her lips in disagreement when I only chucked in response.

“You know, omma.. You’re the only mother out there who’s so eager to get her son tied. Other moms would cling to their son like a life support and will even frighten the poor woman their son has married.”

“I’m not some other mom, I am your mother. And I will be more than happy to see you tie the knot with the woman who’ll make you happy.”

Suddenly, my thought drifted to that one particular brunette. To that one particular memory I tried so hard to bury in the depths of my mind but failed to do so. And for the first time since I promised myself, since I promised her that I’ll leave her alone, I let myself remember those moments we shared in that island. And my heart ached for something I would never have.. Happiness with the woman I truly love.

“Kwon Jiyong, are you even listening to me?”

Omma’s somewhat irritated voice pushed me out of my reverie and revived me to the real world. I blinked at her and was afraid that my eyes would let my mother see how miserable I am right now. I forced up a smile at my mother and bent down to kiss her forehead.

“All right, omma. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll find a date this weekened,” I said then sighed.

“Oh.. You don’t need to do that this weekend. I have my friend coming here to Korea with her daughter.. They’re from Japan and they’re from respected family. I’ve already seen the girl and she’s lovely. I think you’ll like her,” omma said with her eyes sparkling and all. And I forced myself to push back the groan that threatened to come out of my mouth. I know what my mother is doing. And I don’t have time for blind dates or arrange marriages.

I just smiled at my mother in response, but my mind is drifting to somewhere else.

AUTHOR’S POV

“Ms. Park, Sajangnim Park is on line one. He said he wanted to speak to you. And it sounded urgent.”

Dara looked up from her computer screen and smiled seeing her efficient secretary peeking through the glass doors of her office.

“Thank you, Jenny. I’ll take the call now,” she said as she reached for the telephone on her right and took the phone from its cradle and placed it near her ear.

“Appa, missed me already?” Dara said as she greeted her father who is on the other line, the smile on her face never fading.

“You know I’ll always miss you and your sister when you’re there in California,” Dara can hear the slight sadness in her father’s voice and it made her frown a little. She never wanted to hear her father sad. She always wanted to hear his happy voice, the voice that gives her strength. The strength she so much needed at the moment.

“Aigoooooo, appa. No need to let me hear that sad voice of yours. You know that’s my weakness,” she teased and her father chuckled on the other line. “Now tell me what made you call, appa. My secretary told me you sounded urgent. Is something wrong there?”

“No need to worry, Dara. All is well here. I just wanted to inform you that Jaejoong and Donghae are going there in California to settle some unfinished business for that hotel. Jiyong should have been flying over there too but he said he had to finish an important work so he just appointed someone to oversee the work there,” Mr. Park explained.

Dara sighed. If it’s a sigh of disappointment or a sigh of relief, she’s not quite sure. But then, she inwardly scolded herself for thinking about things like that. Of course, it’s a sigh of relief. Why would she be disappointed in hearing that Jiyong is not going to California himself and finish the work they had together. In fact, she was the one who told him to never show his face to her again.

“Dara, are you still there?” her father’s voice broke through her thoughts and she shook her head for the train of thoughts she was having.

“Oh, appa. Yeah I’m still here.. So…uhm,” she cleared and asked, “when is Jaejoong and Donghae arriving here, appa?”

“So, what do you think about Kiko?” Jiyong shook his head in disbelief. His mother had been asking him what he think about the daughter of her friend, which happened to be a past acquaintance and past flame, since the moment they went out of the restaurant. 

“She’s okay,” Jiyong replied simply as he combed his hair using his hands.

“So, are you going to ask her out for dinner this coming days?”

This time, Jiyong groaned aloud.

“What? Kiko’s a lovely girl and I don’t see any reason why you won’t ask her out for some date,” Mrs. Kwon said when Jiyong looked at her like she was talking in a language her son don’t understand.

Jiyong stayed silent for a moment, his mind going haywire for the things his mother is suggesting. He loves his mother so much, but he doesn’t want to oblige to her for the first time this time. But what can he do? How can he say no to the mother he so loved the most?

“Okay, omma. I’ll ask her for a date tomorrow,” without thinking about it first, those phrase escaped his mouth even not meaning it.

“Maybe this is a great distraction. To take your mind off of Dara because working your off is not working anymore,” a small voice in his head and thinking about it thoroughly, maybe that little voice is right. Maybe going out with Kiko would take his mind off of the woman who he wants to be his very much but can never be.

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IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED..

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