Hyun joong's mind split up into different emotions...happy yet nervous....happy that finally he can able to see his lover face to face,,unlike when te boy got treated overseas, he can just look from afar though he can do watch him closely, he decided not to show up yet,,,knowing that the boy doesn't remember him anymore as a lover but just a bestfriend,,he felt guilty everytime he sees his lover suffering from memoryless,,blame himself from being selfish that time,,he didn't plan it well that's why,,it's eagerness to get back the whole time with his lover ended up in this kind of failure,,,,He is happy to the point his tears escaped unexpectedly from his eyes..happy that he can able to touch his lover agin but no, can he?,,,can he hug him, can he kissed him? he misses him so much, he misses the soft touch, he misses those soft lips, those sweet kisses they had, but now,can he? happy yet sad,,mixed feelings,,,He is nervous,,how could he deal with his lover now? how could he tell him what memories they have? how could he tell the story behind their close relationship, how could a lover divert the being lovers into being just a bestfriend, how they met and how close they are?

"are you alright? Uee asked as he went to him when saw the boy fell on his knees on that rocky floor...

Hyun joong look up to the girl with fierce and hate in his eyes,,he was thinking, why his plan didn't work out for this girl? why his lover the one suffering from this things..how can this girl ruined everything? he loved her before but now all he feels for her is hate and blame,,he knows that he can't blame her, it's his fault in the first place, his obsession to his lover led the fate into this, but he can't blame himself, he needed an excuse to lessen his guiltiness,,,He shove the helping hand of the girl and pinned her on the floor when the girl fell,,gritted teeth shaking hands, eyes teary as he place his hand on th girl's neck, ready to cut the breath through is fingers..

"Yahh let go of me,,,uee muttered, choking from breathless...

Hyun joong snapped out from his senses and pulled out immediately from the girl....he stood holding his weak knees...he look at the girl once again and walk leaving her on the floor holding her neck with wide eyes...

"Yaaahhh!!! you're crazy? how could you~~~~ uee shouted,,,

Hyun joong as if didn't heard the girl's scream,,,he continuously walk, spacing out and just bumping to every person he passed by, as if no one in his world right now,,,he reach the parking lot and lean on his car,,,he sighed, breathing heavily before he opened his car and entered into it,,,he drove directionless,,,where is he heading? he doesn't know, he just drive the car and went to the direction where his steering wheel turned...until he remembers that saengie is heading to his place,,he step on the break and let his car parked at the side, elbow leaning the window while massaging his temple and the other hand holding tightly to the steering wheel...

His phone beeps, a message came from his phone,,he hesitantly opened the message but as soon as he hit the message box, it hits his head the same number who calls a while go,,,

~~yahhh where are you? i'm at your front gate now,,,fly to get home quickly,,,,quick, quick, quick,,,,the message says,,

He didnt replied back,, he starts to drive again and sped up to reach home quickly,,,he was kind of worried because all their memories, photos incuding their agreements as married couple is in his room,,,he was hoping the boy wouldn't dare to come up to his room while he is atill not at home,,,

........

........

Young saeng decided to meet his known bestfriend, kim hyun joong,, he calls him to inform that he is now heading to his place to meet,he put down the call and somehow felt excited that finally he'll gonna meet his bestfriend, and the owner of the only name he remember aside from his name...the savior that's why he is alive still,,humming a song while driving,,,,,he look at the address and carefully remembering the instruction he got from his halmeoni on how to get at the said address,,he made a wide grin on his face when he saw the right place and address that he has on his hand..he step out from the car to see the number of the house, making it sure that it is the right house,,,he smiled widely,,,he took out his phone and sent another messge to the other informing that he arrived the place already...he debated in his mind whether to ring the door bell or just wait for the guy to come,,but no what if he is inside already,,,"why he is not eplying anyway? he mumbled making a frown on his face a small pout,,

He breathed,,,blew air three times and fix his shirt to perm straight, he stretch his neck and exercise his mouth as if he will gonna sing or so....he cleared his throat three tmes to as if prepring for vacalization training and slowly press the doorbell with a greasy smile while dancing his feet side by side...

No response on the first attempt of ring so he ring it twice and an old ajjuma appeared on a monitor,,,"who? the old voice asked...

"It's me,,,ahm,,heo yong saeng,,,,he answered and smiled brightly at the monitor too..and gave a sheepish wave to the old lady who seems in shock...

''eo~~~ de,,saengie-ya...the older uttered and the door sounds opened a minute later and showed the old lady who was on the monitor a while ago...

"Annyeong haseyo...i~~~is hyun joong inside?..he asked hesitantly,,due to that he doesn't know how to acknowledge the old lady,,,he doesn't know if she is the mother of his bestfriend or not,,,i am sorry,,,maybe hyun joong had informed you about my sickness,,i~~i can't even remember you,,,but i'm here to see~~ to know about my bestfriend and his side too,,,all i know is just him,, no, just his name,,,they said that i keep mentioning his name before,,,,,,he said aplologetically no idea to anything...

"Best friend?..the old lady made a bit confuse on his face....

"Yeah, my bestfriend, kim hyun joong..isn't this his house?,,he replied and asked checking the house number again...

"Yes,,de,,it is,,come in first,,he's coming home in a little while...you can wait him inside,,,im his eomma,,,you usually calls me eomma too since the both of you lived together,,,,the lady told, giving a bit information about her,,,

"we lived togehter? so it means we are really close? i mean,,where did we live? in an apartment?..he questioned and followed another questions,,,when all were cut when they reach the living room with an old man sitting on a rocking chair and another middle age man,,,he assessed them carefully,,,

"Is he hyun joong's father? do i call him appa also? and that was harabeoji maybe...he said with a wide smile while bowing to both while mentioning them...

"all nodded...the three look at each other while saengie roaming around and check every photos displayed on a small stand near the TV...he picked the frame which has a photo of a young boy age around 12,,,is this hyun joong?he questioned,,,

"de...and the one on the other side is his hyung,,,the lady pointed,,the boy pouted accasionally when he seems can't found any much photo of the man he was curious to see...

Saengie tilted his head as he put down his lover's photo and pick the photo of a young boy age around 14,, the photo that eomma pointed and introduce as hyun joong's brother,,,,he thought,,he squeezed his eyes and pat his forehead,,he felt dizzy again when he glance at the family picture on the other side, and suddenly remembers the time when he laugh happily with the hyung he had known  and his guardian in london,,the biological brother he had known for almost a year,,,he kept silent as he put back the frames..

"what is this? he mumbled...

"are you alright? saengie? the lady came to him asking...

"ahhh ye,,,i just felt dizzy.....he answered...

"alright..you can rest to hyun joong's room first while you are waiting for him...the lady suggested and held him up to the room....the lady tuck the blanket to the boy and left him when he closed his eyes and after saying thank you...

Saengie had been confuse with his hyung before because he can't remember anything about him, and now he is asking,,is the man in the photo and his hyung the same? they look so alike,,they really look so alike,,,he thought,,he opened his eyes...and saw a photo of him and hyun joong on the side table as he turn to that side..he took it, eagerly wanted to know everything about this man he had known with a name,,they look so happy in the picture,,saengie on the front, back hugging by hyun joong and with them a wide smile formed to their lips, with their lips connected to each other's cheeks..his heart beat too fast when he finally saw the picture,,is this you? he mumbled asking the photo while carressing the glass with his thumb..why i can't remember anything about you? are we that really close that we live together? and this photo..we look so happy,,,aren't you miss me? don't you miss this kind of happiness? why aren't you here yet? i want to see you? im curious at how you look like in person...even my heart is excited,,yes i am jut ecited that's why it beats faster...he sighed,,,

He turn to the other side, the computer flashes with the screen saver and it is a picture of them again hugging tightly and closer,,,he got up and went to it, he sat on the chair infront of the computer and the screen automatically turn to his picture when the difital mouse had moved,,a solo picture, a close up revealing a cute smile and his dimples,,,he stared unto it,,,KIM HYUN JOONG, he memorized again,,,he is curious why he keeps mentioning that names when the accident had happened,,,why his heart fluttered everytime he mention the name,,why is he curious about him, of course he is his bestfriend,,but he is much curious about that name much more compared to his family who just happened to pop in his mind one day and remembered everything about them,,but he never satisfied his self from it,,there was something he wants to find,,and maybe it is about hyun joong or hyun joong will be the key into it,,the puzzle that he can't even recognize or determined,,it was just his heart who makes him feel eager to know something,,a girlfriend? a love one? maybe hyun joong knows about his girlfriend or so and he can help him about it..

He found  paper a long plain white paper under the laptop, curiously he took it,,it was just a paper with so much lists written with the use of hand only and its kind of messy,,,he read one by one,,he smiled thinking how crazy the one who written it,,no falling in love,,he read loudly and laughed but suddenly his heart beaten rather too fast,,,he stopped and put back the paper massaging his chest to calm it down,,,"why my heart beats too fast lately,,,am i nervous or what? he muttered under his breath and grimaced,,,

The door swung open and a man with a face looks like the face on the photo appeared behind that door,,,his heart beats more faster and a shiered came to his spine as if he saw a ghost unexpectedly,,,,

......

......

Hyun joong run as soon as he reach the gate of their house,,,where is  he? he asked immediately when he saw his parents on the living room,,,

"Hyun joong ah,,,his eomma talked, felt pity to his son because his lover never recognize him as a lover but just a bestfriend...

"Hyun joong made a sheepish smile and a look of an assurance that he is alright,,but it was obvious,,mothers knows best his son,,he knows when his son is not alright and when his son his alright,,,

"where is he,,,,he asked again,,eomma, appa,,,harabeoji,,you didn't told him anything right? he questioned with a smile, biting his lower lip, the elders know that their son is in pain,,eomma where is he? i want to see him,,he said but the truth is, he is nervous and as much as possible he doesn't want to meet him in this kind of situation...

"He is in your room,,his harabeoji answered when the parents can't answer him,,,

"I'll prepare the food for dinner,,just come out after,,,his eomma informed and turn around without looking at his son...

"thank you harabeoji,,seems eomma is not in the mood today,,,he commented and left the living room, leaving with a smile but it faded and turn into worry and nervous as soon as he took the steps on the stairs...

He stopped at the front door,,it is quiet,,he gathered all his couage and strenght to face his lover,  bestfriend rather,,he opened the door,, and finally it confirmed himself that this is it,,,the journey of so called trials and hindrances he needed to face in a relationship,,this is the start,the start to struggle to save his love to the boy...

Saengie faced him,, it seems a slow motion that it took a while before he finally see the face fully with both of his eyes,,the boy smiled,,

Hyun joong lowered his head after giving a small smile,,,he bit his lower lip as the tear came out from his wide eyes,dropping to the floor, he can't able to stop his tears,,he doesn't want to show the boy his tears but he can't pull back his tears..

"Hy~~~hyun joong? saengie spoke with a question in tone..nearing to the man who just froze in his spot,,,is it you? he asked,,,

"hyun joong nodded,,,,im sorry,,,,im sorry,,,he said suddeny kneeling down infront of the guy...

"Why you feel sorry,,i'm the one supposedly feels sorry because i can't remember my bestfriend...saengie said lifting the man up...agaping down to see the other's face and wiped the falling tears....

Hyun joong cup the boy's face,,,he lean closer his face....saengie~~~ i missed you...i really miss you..he uttered cautiously on wht h wanted to do at the moment, kissing the boy with his own lips, fels the kisses he had yearn for a long time he brushed his nose instead to the boy's cheek ans planted a soft peck...

Saengie froze,,what is he doing,, he thought, he is confused, two boys nearly kissing on lips but it was good that those lips landed on the cheek only, but he felt something strange,,he didn't back out, didn't even moved his feet when the man lean closer to him,,Hyun joong~ he said with a confusing tone,,,

"I'm sorry, i just missed you that much,,i missed my bestfriend,,that's how we tease each other,,making the other blush by pretending to kiss the other on lips...i forgot that you don't remember it,,,hyun joong excused and pulled out, though he wanted to touch those lips again, kiss them longer and make them his at the moment but it can't be, remembering the boy will not acknowledge him as a boyfriend especially a lover, that is what his hyung warned him...he just let his lips touch the cheek,

Hyun joong look around and saw everything was moved, from the frame to the computer,,he went to the computer and saw the paper under it was repositioned,,,he is aware with the things at how he placed them since saengie had gone,,he never wanted anyone to touch anything connecting to the boy, he assume the boy did it,,he did read it, he did saw those pictures,,,an he is sure, he doesnt remember anything yet,,if he does,, he maybe confronted by him already,,,

"You seems not happy to see me,,saengie spoke making a sad expression to his face,,

"Of course i am happy to see you...it's just that it' too sudden,,you should have informed me,,hyun joong said not looking to the boy's eyes...

"i'll just go home,,let' just meet some other time,,saengie suddenly said and walk out from the room,,he dispperared from the room in just one blink,,,,

Hyun joong felt pain again seeing how his lover turn his back to him,,now he knows the feeling on how they turn their backs to their ex girlfriends.....he ran trying to chase after the boy and with that he catch the boy nearly stepping out the door with his mom and others bid their goodbyes already to the boy who just came not more than an hour...

Hyun joong grab the boy on wrist and pulled him into a hug,,don't go,,please stay,,im sorry,,,he whispered..

"Hyun joong i can't breath,,,saengie complained choking with the tight hug,,,but the man never listened to that, he just hug him more tightly,,,he soften and smiled and hug the boy in response, hugging him by holding the both shoulders,,,maybe i miss you too,,if i am just im my right mind, i think i missing you to death too,,,but i know i miss you,,my heart felt it,,,the only bestfriend i have and a savior who saved my life, how could i not miss that person,,,thank you and im sorry,,someday i will remember everything and i'm sure everything will be back as what we are before,,just help me find my memories...he added...

Hun joong pulled  out and faced the boy, seeing him with a tear,, he knows how hard for his lover to torture his mind to remember the memories he had lost....

"can i stay for the night? it's a bit dark already and i am not familir with the road....saengie said in his pout,,,

''Hyun joong chuckled, so you didn't mean it,,,,he said...

"What? saengie asked making face on what hyun joong is telling him...

"That you will just go home and meet some other time...hyun joong reminded him,,,

"You caught me? saengi said with a greasy smirk,,

"Let's eat,,eomma intrrupted the two...

They all went to the dining room and ate dinner..Proceeded to their room as soon as they finished their food,,,

"can you lend me your clothes...saengie asked...

"you have your clothes here....i kept them,,,hyun joong said and see what the other will say in response, is he will question why he have the clothes in there? or what?..

"Eo!! really,,seems i sleep here often before? right? if not, i wont have clothes in here...saengie said,,his smile is too bright that hyun joong makes himself not to worry much,,,

"Yes you were..almost all the time,,,hyun joong answered still observing the boy...

"Hyun joong,,one more thing i am curious..i keep dreaming someone in the dark kissing me,,do i have a girlfriend?,,,saengie suddenly brought up..

"Girlfriend? A boyfriend baby not a girlfriend,,,he thought after asking..you have but you broke up long time ago...he answered...

"ahhh maybe just one of my past,,,saengie said felt a little disappointed to that answer..,,how about you? do you have one? he asked shifting the question to the man....

"I have someone i love,,,someone i have waited for a long time, someone but it seems cant accept my feelings again after such a horrible thing that i cause to hi~~ to her,,,hyun joong sid alost slipping his tongue but it was saved...

"owhhh,,,what did you do to her? that she can't accept you now,,,saengi asked again...questions after questions...

"just don't mind it,,change your clothes now,,someday you'll understand everything,,when your memory is back,, because you know all of it,,,,and when that time has come,,when you were at your right mind, i will tell her everthing and say how sorry i am,,tell her my never ending sorry, i just need you beside me to comfort, so yo have to know your memories to help me,,,,hyun joong told...

"Aigoo,,arasseo,,hope that girl won't make you hurt and will reacknowledge your love..don't worry i'll stay with you when that time comes....saengi gave an assuring promise to the man....

They layed their back on the bed,,totally awkward, they both faced the ceiling and the blanket tuck on both of them....

"Hyun joong,,,is this how we sleep before? it's freakin awkward..it feels horrifying,,saengie comented,,,when i was in london,,hyung told me i aways sleep talk asking for a hug, thats when  teddy bear came to my room,,hyung bought it for me and told me to hug it when i sleep... saigie announced...

"Hyun joong turn on his side position facing the other,,do you know how we sleep?,,no doubt,,you havent change even you lost your memory,,,he said and in that case he lift saengie's head up and put his arm under it..

Saengie look up, confused,, why he never refused to the man's move,, from leaning the face closer almost nearly kissing on lips and now, offering his arm for him and an embrace,,he will think if not they were in the relationship as bestfriend, he will assume that they are lovers before...at how they tease when they wanted to make the other blush and how they sleep with each other's embrace,,,they were both males but they act sweet like this before,,maybe it is how they grew closer as brothers...

"Don't feel awkward,,,i can't help you if you do,,he warned the boy,,I love you saengie~ he mind...sengie slowly slid his arm around the other's stomach under the blanket and hugged him unhesitated this time,,he closed his eyes,,he somehow felt comfortable and protected,,this moment, this hug is soothing and familiar with him,,maybe they do it frequently before,,he assume gin,,he sniff the man's scent,,a familiar scent that he smelled before,,,a refreshing scent,,,soon he drown in slumber to the man's arms with that scent that he loved the moment he entered his own room but eems he cant remember when he smelled that scent yet,,,,,,

"Hyun joong just kept his eyes opened in the dark vision of the room,,,good night,,he whispered to the boy when he heard him sleeping soundly,,,i missed you so much,,someday, you'll remember me,, you'll recognize me, as your lover and not just a bestfriend,,please remember everything and i will apologize to you,,i know you will forgive me,,i know it,,but i want to say sorry still,,,i love you,,,he mumbled with pain in his chest,,breathing hardly, controlling to make sound to his sobs, careful to not make the other wakes up..

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...good saint finally had the update,,sorry for the wait,,,,comment and subscribe,,,love yah,,,,yahh you hate me now? and yeah as you wished they were together in this chapter but  this is just a start,,,you'll see how saengie will react when he found some memories of them,,,see you on next chapter,,if i got lots of comments i will update the next chappy in the next off though i'll be busy but if not lets see since i'll be busy on my next dayoff...slow progress i know,,try to upvote too if you want to share,,,