Chapter 20: What’s wrong with you?

“You think you’re going to buy me with cupcakes?”

“Mmm… but they’re not normal cupcakes. They’re made by Taemin.” My eyes widened in surprise. “I paid him for them so don’t make that face piggy. I know you love Taemin’s cupcakes. Well, you actually have a little obsession with him so I thought you’d like it as an apologize”

I breathed deeply and sighed. This is what I hate-love the most about him. He knows how to make me feel good. He knows how to melt my heart, how to make it beat. He might not even realize about it but… these are the kind of things that made me fall for him.

“I don’t care if they’re made by the prince of England. Just get the hell out of here. I don’t want to see you” I rolled my eyes trying to hide my blushed cheeks.

“You’re really acting like a child right now” He chuckled. “I’m hungry, so I’ll have dinner with you and your pretty friends and then I’ll leave you alone as you want”

The girls invited Youngmin to sit down and have dinner with us. I just wanted to cry at that moment. He couldn’t stop staring at the three of them. I can’t blame him. They’re so pretty and feminine and kind. Meanwhile, I was just eating in silence. Youngmin seems to change when he’s with women. He becomes nice and funny.

“So, that’s great. I have always admired the girls that practice gymnastics!” He complimented Hye In.

“Thanks” Hye In blushed. It’s obvious she also feels attracted by him.

“But the rappers are the best!” he teased making them laugh. Of course, he had to keep his role of ‘the tomboy’s boyfriend’

“Sumi, you’re too quiet today” Ashley blurted.

“It’s because she’s mad at me. It was my fault. I already asked her to forgive me but as always her pride is first”

I don’t know how he does it, but he knows me very well. I even think he knows me better than what I know about him. But as always, he was just being like that because we had to keep our roles.

“Well, you should try better. Sumi doesn’t get mad easily. I bet you did something terrible” Ashley said. She normally goes straight to the point when she talks, and she does it directly.

“Yes, you’re right. I should try better than cupcakes” he mumbled.

The girls left the both of us alone in the kitchen. I was disappointed of the way he looked at my friends. It’s like any of them could fit his standards about someone who could be his girlfriend. But when it comes to me, it’s very different.

“Your friends are really kind and pretty. It’s the first time I get so close to a girl’s group without feeling that jealousy between them. I had fun. I hope I can hang out with them other day”

The jerk boasting as always that all the girls fall for him. Wait, I’m one of those… I sighed and took a sip of my milk.

“Yah! Piggy, why don’t you answer? Are you still mad at me?” he walked to me, getting closer. “How long are you going to be mad at me? I’m sorry. I won’t ever tell you anything like that before. You are my friend. And I shouldn’t be like that. It’s just that I was used to tell you all those kind of words without worrying that you would get hurt. But I shouldn’t do that anymore. Because when I get angry I can say things that I don’t want to…”

“Or you can tell the truth…” I mumbled looking down holding my tears.

“Sumi… you are not pitiful at all. You’re strong, ok? You found out that Taemin liked Sulli but you got it over and now you live your life normally. But look at me! I’m running always to the same girl who doesn’t love me.  She loves someone else, but I’m still there every time she feels alone even when I know that when she feels alright she will throw me like trash. That’s pitiful! Sumi, I’m the only one who’s pitiful!”

Youngmin broke in tears. I turned my head to him. He was on the floor crying. My eyes widened and the tears finally fell down. I had never seen him like that. I had never seen him cry. Youngmin would never cry in front of someone, his pride wouldn’t let him do that. That stupid Ji Eun had hurt him so badly to get to that point… to cry in front of me.

My heart broke into a million pieces. How to comfort him? What should I tell him? Youngmin, we are in the same situation. I love you even when I know you love her… How can I give you comfort to your heart without making you run away?

“Youngmin… don’t say that” I kneeled in front of him and hugged him. He rested his head on my shoulder.

“Why don’t you get revenge? You should say. You are pitiful Jo Youngmin” he smiled weakly and wiped his tears.

He wasn’t going to look weak, not for too long. That would hit his pride. He was Jo Youngmin after all.

“Because I’m not as mean as you babo” I hit his head lightly.

“Yah! Don’t hit me girl!” he frowned.

“Just don’t cry ever again in front of me. You scared me! I didn’t know what to say!”

“Chh… women are supposed to know how to comfort men when they cry” he bit his low irresistible lip. Ok, Sumi, control yourself.

“But I’m a piggy mushroom head. I don’t know about that. I just eat and think about the mushroom world” I pouted.

“You’re so weird” Youngmin chuckled. It was good to see his smile again. “Well, you’d better eat those cupcakes Taemin made piggy. I’m leaving” he stood up.

I followed him to the door without saying a word. He was going to leave without even saying goodbye. I stopped him.

“Jerky” I called him. He turned his head to me. “Thanks for the cupcakes”

“You’re welcome. I’m leaving” he said with a poker face.

“Yeah! See you later” I nodded like a dumb. “And take care…”

Take care? Aish! Sumi that’s too obvious! When someone says “take care” it’s because that person obviously likes you. What if he realizes that you like him? He will stop talking to you. You should never show your feelings. After all, our contract ends in three weeks.

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The next morning I woke up with puffed eyes. Yes, I’ve been crying recently for Youngmin. I know it’s stupid. But I can’t help but blame myself for falling for that jerk. If I just felt friendship towards him it would be perfect… but no, that stupid cupid had to make my life miserable. I hate that dumb baby with wings…

“Sumi!” Hye In sang. She was all hyper and cute.

She’s my dongsaeng and I love her but sometimes she’s just too cute for me.

“What’s up?” I asked a little bored.

“Yoosun unnie wants to know what you would like for breakfast” she tilted her head.

“Whatever is eatable is fine. Oh! Wait. I’ll eat my cupcakes” I opened the fridge.

“Sumi, having cupcakes as breakfast is not healthy” Yoosun placed her hands on her hips.

“I don’t care. They’re made by Taemin Oppa. That makes them healthy” I smiled.

Yeah, guess what? I’m not eating those stupid cupcakes because they’re made by Taemin Oppa… it’s because the idiot of jerky brought them. Who would say that? Before, I used to fangirl over Taemin. And now, I don’t fangirl over Taemin Oppa and neither over Youngmin. It’s weird, I don’t fangirl over Youngmin. Maybe it’s because he isn’t cute. Again, I hate that stupid big baby with wings named cupid.

Today I don’t have to go to school because I’m going to the filming set. It’s our last week filming. I’m going to miss everyone here; especially Taemin Oppa’s cuteness.

“Sumi!” Taemin greeted me.

“Hi Oppa!” I smiled.

“This is our last week filming. I’m going to miss everyone here” he pouted.

“Yeah, me too” I pouted too.

“Where is Youngmin? I haven’t seen him” Taemin tilted his head puzzled.

“I don’t know. He should be here. But I haven’t seen him either” I bit my low lip worried. “I’ll call him. If he doesn’t arrive soon, he’s going to be in trouble”.

Taemin nodded in response and walked away. I took my cellphone and dialed Youngmin’s number but he didn’t answer my call. I was worried. He was very sad last night. Where could he be?

“Manager Kim!”  I ran to my manager.

“Yes Sumi?” he asked. His face looked worried too.

“Do you perhaps know where Youngmin is? He hasn’t arrived and we’re going to start filming soon”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to find out. His manager doesn’t find him either. He says he didn’t get home last night. Did he tell you where he was going after having dinner with you and the girls?”

“No, he didn’t tell me anything. But he wasn’t feeling alright” I sighed. This was my fault. I should have made sure he got home safe.

I was worried about him. He was sad last night, he even cried and I didn’t do anything to make him feel better. Now, we don’t even know where he could be.

“He’s here!” Manager Kim said. I ran to him.

“Yah! You’re late. And why don’t you answer your phone? We were worried you couldn’t get on time” I frowned.

“Just shut up Mushroom Head. You’re not my mom for scolding me” he passed by me and went to our dressing room. I followed him.

“Is everything alright?” I asked him once we were alone.

I looked at him. The dark circles below his eyes were more visible and his eyes looked tired and puffed. His hair was a little messy and so were his clothes. I could feel the smell of alcohol coming from his mouth.

“Jo Youngmin. Can you explain me what this is?” Youngmin’s manager came in the room and threw some photos over the coffee table.

“Don’t worry. Just pay the photographers and they’ll shut up”

I took a look to those pictures. My eyes widened and I felt my heart stopped at that moment. There were pictures of Youngmin kissing some girls at a nightclub. That was him, the real Jo Youngmin. That jerk, that playboy I met long time ago.

“You hadn’t done it since more than six months. I thought you had stopped but this week you have been going out to nightclubs again. How many times will I have to pay them? We don’t have enough money this time”

“I’ll ask my father to take care of it then. Just leave me alone…” He rubbed his temples.

“I won’t leave you alone! You must stop this or I’m going to get you out of Boyfriend. I’m talking seriously Youngmin. What if the photographer doesn’t want money? This won’t only affect you or your group. This could also affect Sumi! At least do it for her”

“Sumi won’t get affected. Don’t be over dramatic” he rolled his eyes. My breath shortened and my blood was boiling. I was really angry this time.

“Youngmin! If these pictures get out I’m going to look as the idiot girlfriend who’s being fooled by her playboy boyfriend. I can get affected by this!” I yelled at him.

“It won’t happen. Those pictures won’t get out. I’ll pay whatever it’s necessary to protect you”.

He looked up to me. His brown eyes looked so sincere and weak. No Kim Sumi, don’t fall. He’s lying. He has always been a liar. He only cares about himself.

“Protect me? You don’t care a nut about me. You just care about yourself!” I turned my back on him and stood on the corner, trying to calm down.

“I’ll try to fix this. But I’m talking serious now Youngmin. If you do this again, I’ll get you out of Boyfriend” his manager exited the room.

“Don’t worry Sumi. I’ll do everything that is on my hands to…”

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever met” I interrupted him.

“Don’t say that. I’m tired of hearing bad words coming from everyone: Jerk, playboy, stupid, useless. I thought at least you would understand me”

“Understand you? Understand what? That you can ruin my career? You want me to understand that?”

“So, you think like the others. You think I’m useless. You think I’m the worst person in this planet. C’mon! Do it! Scold me for all my mistakes” he scoffed.

“You know what Youngmin? I thought you were different. I believed in you when no one did. But I’m tired too. I’m tired of expecting that you could change. If you don’t want people to tell you jerk, playboy and useless then you have to change. What will I think if you keep doing this?” I threw one pf those photos to him. “What do you want me to think?”

“I made a mistake. I accept it. But I’ll fix everything. I promise you I will. I never thought you would be that mad about it. I expected it from my manager but not from you. But you’re right. It’s your career the one who is in game also. And I didn’t consider it. It wasn’t my intention. I would never do anything to hurt you. You’re the only friend I have” he shrugged. I sobbed trying to control the tears from my eyes.

“I’m sorry Youngmin, but it’s too late for saying that…”

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Thank you so much for your support. I hope you like the chapter.

Youngmin is so weird. Sometimes he looks sad because he can forget Ji Eun, some others he looks worried about Sumi and now he looks like a playboy who likes to go to party.

What do you think? What could be Youngmin’s real feelings?

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Thanks for reading!

Ppyong!