Ex-lovers
Kizuna (Bond between us)
18
There was a young boy running on the grass.
“Achilles!” I called.
“Mama!” He responded as he smiled.
Those lovely smiles refreshed me. I went near Achilles and hugged him tight. “You’re the most important person to me, I love you baby”
**
“Mao, how do you feel?” It was mama.
I helplessly looked at her raising a question “How’s my baby?”
Everybody’s answer was silence.
I knew it, he’s gone but instead of crying, I smiled. “I’m a careless mother.”
“Mao…” Maki held my hand “Don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault”
“I want to go home, please let’s go home!”
*
On our way home I took a glance at Yano. He’s the reason why Shibasaki attacked me but I couldn’t make hating him. I want to hear words from him but he wasn’t talking. “Is he putting the blame on me?”
*
“Take a rest” said Toma guiding me to my room.
“Thank you” I responded.
As I sat on my bed I couldn’t do anything but to mourn. The pain was killing me “What I have done to suffer this? I want my baby back, give my baby back!!!” Tears started to fall. To this point, I couldn’t stop it.
*
Yano wearing his archery uniform shot infinite bull’s eye. Jin and Rina were with him.
“Yano…” lamented Rina understanding his agony. “Yes, he was forced to marry Mao but the baby is an exemption.”
“He should understand that losing someone you love is part of being alive” said Jin.
*
It was late when Yano went back in our room. He found me sleeping but I was actually awake.
He took a towel then heed to leave before I called him.
“Yano!” I stood up facing him. “Are you mad at me?”
He didn’t respond.
“Just tell me if you hate me”
“No…I’m not in the right place to feel that, I’m the reason behind this, isn’t it?”
I was shocked how Yano figure it out but I suddenly remembered that he was Yano Matsumoto the future boss of our Clan. You couldn’t hide such thing from him.
“That Shibasaki, do you know her?” I asked.
“No, but Petal killed her.”
“What?” His information terrified me. For a minute I pity Shibasaki but in the end I agreed that that was the proper justice.
“But it can’t bring our baby back” I bit out. “Achilles’ gone so the bond between us is already broken.”
Those words caught Yano’s attention. “What do you mean?”
“We got married only because of the baby, but he’s gone so what the use of being together?”
“Are you suggesting for divorce?” he asked.
“I want my life back.” I answered. “So please let me leave this place.”
A long pause before Yano replied. “Okay, If you want to leave, go ahead.”
*
Yano lied about my sudden return in Village 3. “She needs that to forget” he said. They thought it was a short vacation but for me it was an escape from Matsumoto’s residence.
*
I returned to Village 3 shortly expecting to feel relief, but things didn’t change. My burden didn’t lessen.
*
“She’s still affected but I think she is doing better than yesterday!” narrated Nino in their lunch break. The group (Yano’s group with Maki and Yui) asked him to tell updates about me. Yano stood up.
“Yano, where are you going, aren’t you interested?” asked Haruma.
“For what? She lost my child there’s no more bond connecting us” said Yano leaving his group mates.
On his way he met Shun.
At home I couldn’t find anything to do. I roamed around, cooked, eat, I even did gardening. After a while I saw a scrapped book from Nino’s room. It was a compilation of Yano’s group trainings. There were lots of photos. There was the pretty Miss Rina, the always refresh Jin, Haruma in his different hair styles, Yamapi, Yui, Chen Yin and of course, Yano. I didn’t bother looking at Yano but as I turned the pages I reached the part where the group had the vacation in a cruise ship.
*
“When you and Mao got married I was confident you’ll protect her because she had your child” Shun started “but now the baby’s gone, are you planning to divorce her?” he asked.
“She wants it” Yano replied.
“If you agreed, then you also like it, am I right?
“Mao decides on that”
“Just answer me; do you personally want to divorce her?”
“Will you please stop talking non sense?”
“If you’ll drop her, I’ll definitely catch her”
“Then do it!” Yano growled. “If you really like her- Go and get her! I don’t care!”” Yano walked away.
He headed in their group’s room and started to kick chairs and tables, he even punch the wall. Yano was trying to erase piece of his memories but it was impossible, those memories where coming back.
“Look at them!” said Yano.
I looked in the direction he was eyeing and saw a couple playing with their child.
I smiled touching my stomach. “One of these days we will have our baby.”
Yano nodded. “I’m excited”
*
We went to the nearest café for lunch.
“Hey Yano, do you think Achilles is a great name?” I asked. “He’s my favorite character I’m thinking to give same name to our son, Akiresu. What do you think?”
“How are you sure the baby is a boy, you haven’t done ultra sound, right?”
I smiled “I want a baby boy.”
*
Not just Yano but me reminisced.
“Stop! Mao, stop!”I convinced myself to refrain from thinking. I need to forget what happened. I should believe that everything is on purpose.
*
I went outside Tama. Being away from the town might help me to forget.
I was walking near the bake shop when I saw a guy. “He is…” It was Yuta with a group of college students.
“Mao…” Yuta saw me. He came closer to greet. “How are you?”
“Yuta, who is she?” asked a girl. Yuta was accompanied by three girls and one boy.
“She’s my ex girlfriend, Mao Matsuzawa.” Yuta introduced
The group started to tease. Yuta smiled as he pointed his friends. “Mao, they are my college friends, we’re going to karaoke bar, want to join?”
I looked at Yuta. His face and soft voice were still the same, even the way how he moved. Only one thing seemed to change, my feelings. I wasn’t attracted to him anymore.
“Mao, do you want?” Yuta repeated the invitation.
“Ah, sure” I agreed.
The group headed in the nearest karaoke bar. Being there made everyone happy. As I watched them singing I saw my friends from Yama Gakuen. There was the time we used to enjoy karaoke. Except for Maki everybody sung, even Yano.
*
Done with the karaoke, Yuta’s friends headed the other route leaving me and Yuta alone.
“So, how’s life?” asked Yuta perhaps to break my silence.
“I’m fine, I’m married now.”
“R-really?” Yuta didn’t expect to hear that. Actually I didn’t say that on purpose. It just came out.
“Do you love him?” asked Yuta.
The question froze me.
*
“I love her” said Yano. He was sitting on the sofa located in their room. “She is pretty, intelligent and good in archery. Her smile inspires me to do my best.” I love you, Mao-“Yano halted as he realized he uttered the wrong name, it should be Erika, not Mao. After the baby incident he was thinking about Mao the whole time.
*
“Yes! I love him” I answered. My head said it was a joke but my heart poured happiness.
It was nice to see Yuta again but I decided not to stay with him any longer. I walked back to Tama. It was already dark when I reached the cemetery where my baby buried.
When I arrived I spotted Yano. I didn’t imagine he would pay a visit.
“Forgive me because I’m a bad father” said Yano in the front of the tomb. “I’m sorry if I didn’t able to protect you.”
There was pain behind Yano’s words. I could feel it.
“Yano…” I called.
He turned at me, surprised. “Mao?”
I smiled as I got closer beside him. “I didn’t expect to see you here”
“Me too…”
“Yano, I’m stupid, right?”
“Huh?” Yano pinched his eyebrows.
“For not realizing that all this time, there’s nothing in the world who can understand my feelings except you-because you’re the father of my son. You know how exactly I feel.”
Yano remained quiet.
“Achilles was a mistake but I learned to love him. I’m so excited to hold, to kiss and hug him but all dreams faded. My baby is gone” Tears fell down. I didn’t want to cry in front of Yano but I couldn’t control my feelings. Before I realized I was crying aloud.
Yano hugged me.
This was what I had been looking for a shoulder to cry on. I was sure I couldn’t cry like this in front of Nino or Maki, only to Yano because we were sharing the same agony.
“Gomen Yano,gomen” I uttered. “I’m so selfish for leaving you. I should recognize earlier that you too need comforts.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” Yano answered.
Wanting to see his face I looked at him, and found him staring, it made me self-conscious, but I was unable to look away.
I saw myself touching his face. Yano grabbed my wrist away-and then he kissed me. Immediately, my surroundings turned flowery.
As I responded to the kiss Yano’s arm gently encircled me.
***
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