✎ Issue 9: What If
Scandalicious✎ Lee Jinki ✎
I open the door and find out that I'm the first to come for our dance practice today. Looks like they are still busy with their own individual schedules.
Four years almost passed since our debut. A lot of things have happened. Good, bad, happiness, sorrow, conflict. We went up and down together as a group.
As the leader of the group, I must admit that sometimes it burdens me. It's not because I think my groupmates are troublesome but it's because I feel I'm still lacking.
I'm the oldest one in SHINee. There are a lot of things we still need to manage and, even though no one tells me, I feel that I'm responsible of every member in our group.
Jonghyun, being the main vocalist of the group, must have his own burden as well. He is the second oldest and he eventually helps me with issues occuring in our internal.
Nowadays our fans are waiting for our comeback eagerly. After a year and six months, we will return under the spotlight with our new mini album.
"Ah, annyeong" Hayeon opens the door and greets me politely. She bows slightly, "Where are the others?"
"Annyeong," I smile at her as she closes the door and approaches me. "I think they're on their way here. Are you going to write about our activities?"
She has told us that sometimes she will go along with our activities so she can write down what we're doing for preparation, what we usually do while we're not on stage, and how we really are on our daily lives.
Today Hayeon will attend our regular dance practice. She has brought her laptop to do her work like what she always does.
While I'm doing a quick stretching, Hayeon sits at the side of the room and turns on her laptop. She has her glasses and it's obvious that she is deep in her own thought.
She always has that kind of expression whenever she is working with her laptop. At least that's what I noticed from her.
"Hayeon-ssi, do you mind if I ask you a question?" I stop doing my stretching, feeling curious about something ever since the day Minho asked about her status in relationship.
When she said that she's in a relationship with someone, I can see that she is seriously in love with that person.
"Waeyo?" she stops staring at the laptop screen, looking up to see me.
"It's just a random question but I...," I grin bashfully. "Do you meet your boyfriend often?"
She gives me a confused look at first but she answers it anyway, "No. Both of us are busy so I don't really mind about it. Besides relationship is not about how often you meet each other, isn't it?"
Her point of view is really interesting. As an idol, it's difficult to have a normal relationship.
Some fans will be disappointed. Busy schedule will get between the relationship. Rumors will trouble both sides.
Even imagining it scares me already.
"Any particular reason why you suddenly asked that question?" Hayeon doesn't take her eyes off of me. "Is Onew in love with someone right now?"
I laugh it off, telling her that it's impossible because I barely have time to fall in love due to my schedule.
"But you've fallen in love before, right?" she asks a surprising question. "Long before you became an idol, I assume."
"Yes, long before that," I nod in agreement, remembering the little girl I met around twelve or thirteen years ago, the girl with the black forest cake.
Hayeon looks interested with the topic because she closes her laptop and asks me, "First love?"
"I never told anyone about this before," I tell her honestly. "There is one girl. I don't know her name. I don't know where she is right now but, if I can meet her, it will be really great."
"That sounds really nice," Hayeon comments casually. "Why don't we put that down in the book and who knows if the girl reads the book one day?"
The idea amuses me. I start to tell her about how I met the little girl who gave me the black forest cake years ago and how she gave me strength and motivation in singing in the quick meeting.
When I finish, Hayeon doesn't laugh or tease me about it. She smiles and mutters, "First love is always special, isn't it?"
"Do we agree to put it in the book then?" she asks for my confirmation. "Let's see if the girl will come to meet you after she read it!"
"What if it's actually you?" I grin mischievously, trying to throw a random joke. "I remember that we met before, you know. When you bought a black forest for your cousin, remember?"
Hayeon chuckles and, strange enough, my heart skips a beat when I see her smile. She tells me that she remembers that day since it's rare for her to see an idol around.
"You met that little girl when you were eleven, right? That means I was supposed to be nine then," she makes a conclusion by herself. "I stayed in Tokyo when I was nine so that's quite impossible."
We don't continue our conversation since Key and Minho enter the dance practice room right after that. They greet Hayeon and apologize for coming late.
I glance at Hayeon and a question comes to my mind.
Why do I feel slightly disappointed when I know that it's impossible for her to be the little girl?
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Glossary #9
- Waeyo (왜요) : why. Sometimes it's shortened as 'Wae' (왜).
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