✎ Issue 24: Honesty
Scandalicious
✎ Lee Jinki ✎
I take a bottle of water and drink it to ease my thirst. The others do the same, trying to catch our breath since five of us know that we need to continue the dance practice in five minutes.
Next week we will have our very first comeback stage after a year and six months since Hello. Our song will be released online in four days and I actually feel nervous and excited at the same time.
We, SHINee, want to show the best for our fans, who have been waiting for us. We don't want to disappoint them even for the slightest. That's why we train so hard to enhance ourselves.
The sound of opened door attracts me. My gaze lands on the girl who just enters the dance practice room with her blue laptop backpack. She bows to us politely before taking her usual place at the corner of the room.
Hayeon looks... How can I say it? Not good. She looks like she didn't sleep last night. Her face is kind of pale and her smile is a forced one. I just know it.
The corner of my eyes catch Taemin is staring at Hayeon. He bites his bottom lip as if he is preventing himself from saying a word to her. He looks away with sad expression he already had for days.
There is something that Taemin doesn't tell us. He tries his best to look alright but it's not like I just met him yesterday. I know that he is not good at all.
It's because he keeps insisting that he is nervous for our comeback so I don't force him to tell us what's in his mind. However looking at how he glanced at Hayeon, I have a feeling that both of them have the same problem.
"Hayeon-ssi!" Key approaches her and squats down to level his sight with hers. "Bogosipeoyo!"
As usual he expresses his friendly attitude towards the girl who has worked with us for two months. Actually today is her last visit before the draft will be finalized.
Looks like we will promote our biography book at the same time with our new mini album. I guess it's one of the strategies to increase our sales.
"Ne," Hayeon replies shortly as she prepares her laptop. "I will need you to check the draft for the last time before I hand it to the supervisor tomorrow morning."
"The introduction chapter, right?" Jonghyun chirps in. We have checked the other chapters except the introduction part for each of us and we have no problem at all with her writings. "I want to read mine!"
Minho joins the conversation and he pulls me as well. Taemin just stands on his feet. Hesitation is obvious on his face.
Since I don't think it's a good idea to make everything awkward if the others notice about how Taemin being so quiet around Hayeon, I fake a cough and tell them that we need to return practicing again.
"Onew-ssi," Hayeon calls me when I'm going to join them. "Can we talk later?"
I look at her and she has a really serious expression. I give her an assuring smile, "Sure. Let's talk after I'm done."
✂ ✂ ✂
The dance practice is over and everyone is busy discussing about where we should have lunch today. Meanwhile I slip out from the room and head to the backyard of the building to meet up with Hayeon.
I have told Jonghyun to text me about where they're going to since I have an errand to run. I don't know what Hayeon wants to talk about but I think I'll tell the others later about my meeting with her.
There she is, leaning her back against the tree. Her eyes are locked on the ground, expresionless.
"Hayeon-ssi," I call her. She looks up at me as I smile to her. I walk to her and grin, "The first chapters are great. We're really satisfied!"
Five of us have read about the introduction chapters. Hayeon gave us different themes with her writing.
Instead of first love, like what she said before she knew she is my first love, Hayeon took 'family' as the theme for my introduction part. I like it. No, I love it.
She wrote down everything perfectly. I can understand why her supervisor chose her as the one who is responsible for our biography.
"Good...," she nods randomly, avoiding my gaze. "That's good..."
Awkward silence fills the air. None of us talks.
"You don't look really good today," I try to strike up a conversation. "Gwaenchana? Did you work too hard for our project?"
Hayeon heaves a sigh and returns her gaze back to the ground, "I didn't sleep last night..."
"Eh?" I blink with surprise. "W-Wae? Is it really because of the project?"
She shakes her head as the answer but that's that. She keeps silence again, letting the awkward atmosphere to appear again.
"So...," I clear my throat nervously, wanting the silence to disappear, "...what is it that you want to talk about, Hayeon-ssi?"
She looks hesitated for a moment but she finally opens up the conversation with a surprising question, "Did you... Did you do something I don't know? When I fell asleep during the time I visited SHINee two weeks ago at dance practice session..."
It feels like someone just threw a dozen darts on my chest. My face burns with embarrasment as I remember the moment I almost kissed her lips.
Did she know? How? Why? Why she chose to ask me after two weeks?
There are so many questions running in my mind. Hayeon clenches her fists impatiently and blurts, "Tell me you didn't, Onew-ssi."
"I didn't," I retort with panic. "Well, I almost but I didn't."
She frowns with disbelief, "Mwo? Onew-ssi... I can't believe you. You know that I have a boyfriend!"
I really want to ask her how she knew but it's not the right time. She is really mad at me. I can see it in her eyes and, maybe I'm selfish, I just don't want her to hate me.
"Mianhaeyo, Hayeon-ssi. I know and that's why I stopped," I tell her what I have in mind. "Jeongmal mianhayeo, Hayeon-ssi. I don-"
I stop at my words when tears are rolling down on her cheeks. It's the first time I see her crying.
"H-Hayeon-ssi?" I mutter her name, feeling guilty. Did I make her cry? Did I say something wrong? What have I done? "H-Hayeon-ssi? Waeyo?"
"Pabo ya...," she wipes her tears with the back of her hands roughly, crying like a little kid. "Pabo ya... Jinjja..."
I grab her hands, stopping her from hurting her face because of the harsh attempt to prevent the tears. I wipe the tears gently with my thumb, "Uljimayo, Hayeon... Uljima..."
She tries to control her tears but I know that she is holding the urge to cry more in front of me. I smile and cup her cheeks so she will look at me, eyes to eyes.
"Apeuge haryeo han ge aninde," I mumble with sincerity in every word. "Mianhaeyo..."
Unfortunately before the condition can be reversed into a better one, everything is just screwed because of an misunderstanding.
"Hyung?" Taemin's voice echoes and he appears with Minho next to him. "Onew Hyung, do you know about the new restau-"
He stops when he sees me and Hayeon. Minho drops his jaw while I quickly pull my hands. I can't help but to blush because of the sudden turn of event.
"Onew Hyung and Hayeon Noona," Taemin hisses coldly. "I should have known it."
"Taemin, it's not like what you think," Hayeon quickly talks. "Don't misunderstand everything. We're just-"
"Is it wrong if I believe what I see?" Taemin takes a step backward. "Mian, for interrupting you two. I'll take my leave now."
He turns his back to us and runs away. Minho calls out his name, looking at me before excusing himself, telling me that he will catch on with Taemin afterwards.
"Hayeon-ssi, mian, we need to-" I was going to ask her to let me explain everything to Taemin but I never finish my words. "Hayeon-ssi!"
She falls forward and I catch her just at the right time. I hold her shoulder firmly, shaking her to wake her up, "Hayeon-ssi? Hayeon?"
I touch her forehead but she doesn't have fever. Now I just notice that her face is really pale.
"Of course she would faint," I groan. "She didn't sleep last night, Lee Jinki."
Honesty.
That's all I gave to Taemin and Hayeon but why do I have a feeling that it didn't turn out right?
What happened actually?
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Glossary #24
- Uljimayo (울지마요) : don't cry.
- Apeuge haryeo han ge aninde (아프게 하려 한 게 아닌데) : I didn't mean to hurt you.
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Author's Note:
If there are some words in Korean that you don't understand, please refer to the previous chapters. I will not put a new word without the glossary so if there is no explanation about it, it means I have put it in the previous chapters.
Thank you for the understanding and I hope the story will entertain you. :)
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